Thursday, December 13, 2007

Fearless Dilettante Football Predictions - Overexposure Edition

Suddenly the locals are going to be featured twice on national television in the coming weeks? Is Chilly ready for his closeup, Mr. DeMille? We'll talk about that anon. But first:

Green Bay Packers 34, St. Louis Mutton 14. Not that long ago, a trip to St. Louis meant a lot of dread. Not lately, though; these Rams are decimated with injuries and weren't all that good to begin with. The Packers have been awfully good this year and there's little reason to suspect it will be different this time around. Here's the interesting question for Packer fans; Ryan Grant now has 744 yards and three games to go. Will he get 1,000 yards in essentially half a season? The answer to that question may have a lot to do with whether or not the Packers will be leaving Dallas with smiles on their faces in January. So far he's been doing a very convincing Dorsey Levens imitation.

ACTUAL RESULT: PACKERS 33, ST. LOUIS 14. Now that's pretty good - I was only one point off. Good result and with the Seabags losing in Carolina, the Packers get a bye and their first playoff victim in Lambeau. Hope it's really, really cold. Oh, and the Cowboys lost today, too and have their last two on the road and an injured Tony Romo to boot. This could still break the Packers' way....

Purple Helmeted Love Warriors 17, Spawn of Abe Gibron 14. The choke is coming. Everyone who has ever spent any time observing the locals knows that it's coming, especially fans of the locals. But these Bears are going to have a difficult time scoring with Kyle Orton as their quarterback. But it wouldn't surprise me if Lovie has a few tricks up his sleeve. And Devin Hester is still lurking. I'm still going with the Vikings, but I would not be surprised to see a close game where Tarvaris Jackson has to win the game. And we still don't know if he knows how to do that.

ACTUAL RESULT: SEVEN LAVENDER CLAD PRO BOWLERS 20, KYLE ORTON NATION 13. And after this game, we still don't know whether or not Tarvaris Jackson can win a game if he has to; I think we can all agree that a team quarterbacked by Kyle Orton doesn't count. We may find out as early as Sunday. The Vikings are in the catbird seat, as Red Barber used to say, but they will need to pick it up considerably from what they showed on Monday night.

4 comments:

Uncle Ben said...

I have to admit, that was pretty bang on. I can only hope that you are that accurate (and optimistic) when the Pack plays in the Super Bowl.

Anonymous said...

Kyle Orton may not count, but he does have a nice porn star mustache.

Douglas said...

Kyle Orton also had that deer-in-the-headlights look to go with his porn star moustache....

Mark said...

A porn star mustache and the deer in the headlights look - now that's an attractive combination, no?