Wednesday, March 03, 2010

How Obamacare Can Work For You! (Er, Or Your Sibling)

I've been all wrong about this Obamacare business. If only I'd realized the advantages siblings can get if only they support it:

Tonight, Barack Obama will host ten House Democrats who voted against the health care bill in November at the White House; he's obviously trying to persuade them to switch their votes to yes. One of the ten is Jim Matheson of Utah. The White House just sent out a press release announcing that today President Obama nominated Matheson's brother Scott M. Matheson, Jr. to the United States Court of Appeals for the Tenth Circuit.

Doesn't mean anything, folks. Nothing to see here. And I have proof that it's not a quid pro quo or anything like that. You see, the President is just a big-hearted guy. You doubt that? Well, read on for this Mr. Dilettante exclusive!

It's actually a pilot program at this point and I really shouldn't divulge this, but I did get a note from David Axelrod that it's okay to mention this on deep background, so here goes: the President also has a similar program in place for loudmouth conservative bloggers. If I change my ways and now provide full-throated support for the President's insightful and brilliant healthcare initiative, it tuns out that my brother Paul will be named (shh, let's keep this quiet):

Ambassador to Portugal

I'm happy to do this for my brother, of course. Lisbon is lovely this time of year and Paulie has promised to lay in some genuine Port wine (from Porto, natch) as well. Bribery? No. The term is Win-Win!

Thank you for your generosity, Mr. President! Now dammit McConnell, get outta the way!

No comments: