Thursday, August 04, 2011

Al Gore Explains What We Need, Right Now

Al Gore, wistful:

“[I] want to focus on one particular suggestion you had about using the wonderful digital tools that are newly available for the reinvigoration of democracy,” Gore said. “Now, they have been around for a while, but they are spreading far and wide and more people are getting involved. We need to have an American spring — you know, the Arab spring. The non-violent part of it isn’t finished yet, but we need to have an American spring, a kind of an American non-violent change where people on the grassroots get involved again. Not the, you know, not in the Tea Party-style.”
Makes sense -- after all, it's really important that Al Gore decide which grassroots are worth listening to. On the bright side, Al would be able to help the grassroots he favors with pre-printed signs, printed on biodegradable paper with sustainable ink. Of course, he's not done:

According to the former vice president, this movement was instituted behind the scenes to clear the government out of the way of special interests.

“What’s sacrosanct for them is to have absolutely no tax increases on the wealthiest Americans. They are at a low level now. And to try to shrink down government so they can get it out of the way of powerful corporations and special interests so they can have free rein,” Gore said. “And the Supreme Court, of course, has now declared that they are persons and to make these secret contributions.”
Uh, Al? Special interests are people, too. Every single one of them. AARP is full of people, as is the AFL-CIO, the Club for Growth and the Alliance for a Better Minnesota. Personally I prefer the Club for Growth over the other groups I've listed, but I wouldn't dispute that the others all have the same right as I do to petition the government for whatever largesse they can wheedle out of it. So long as I have the same right to suggest that the government tell them to pound sand, it's all good.

One last thing, Al -- if we were really going through an Arab spring, you'd be on trial and sitting in a steel cage. Just sayin'.

7 comments:

W.B. Picklesworth said...

Al Gore is like Jimmy Carter without the benefit of having been president.

W.B. Picklesworth said...

That is to say, they both seem to be on a mission-quest to be seen as fools by the largest group of people.

Gino said...

there is a tremendous difference tween carter and gore.

al gore is just trying to convince us that he is better than the rest of us. he's lying.

jimmy carter truly believes himself to be better than the rest of us.

Anonymous said...

Here, here, Mr. D. Big Al Gore belongs in the dock! He's a treasonous murdering wanker who hates America; and he left his artist-scolding wife to kanoodle with fawning Hollywood (re)tarts. He belongs in a cage sharing a bucket with Slobodan Milosevic.

And how dare he refuse the Tea Party's grassroots authenticity. What a smug greenhouse-gas airhead. He's just jealous that the Koch brother's Americans for Prosperity can hide behind their 501(c)(4) organization and its sweetly charming paid leader Dick Armey instead of fighting it out in the rough and tumble world of ratings driven advertising supported television. What a commie stooge, huh.

And you couldn't be more right: corporations are full of people. As well as Time Square is full of people. And train stations are full of people. Even Dodger Stadium is full of people (though less so now than when the people found out what kind of blood-sucking parasites the McCourts are). A well-funded special interest, a multi-billion dollar international corporation, a 75 year-old Alzheimer's patient, a pregnant teen mother, an unread mid-western blog writer - they all have the same access to the levers of power in this greatest of all conceivably exceptional really awesome super-sweet God-blessed git-r-done Country. Thankfully the Supreme Court was clear-headed enough to level the playing field so now everyone can suck dry the earth, have no natural end to their life, transcend national borders, and never be imprisoned for crimes against humanity just like Transocean Corporation or the Roman Catholic Church.

As you say, Mr. D., "It's all good."

Mr. D said...

Thankfully the Supreme Court was clear-headed enough to level the playing field so now everyone can suck dry the earth, have no natural end to their life, transcend national borders, and never be imprisoned for crimes against humanity just like Transocean Corporation or the Roman Catholic Church.

Wow, sounds like you have a whole list of grievances there, anon. Mebbe you'd get more traction doing something about the issues that concern you if you didn't post them anonymously on an unread Midwestern blog that you apparently read. At 4:35 a.m. on a Saturday morning.

You have a nice vocabulary. Put it to use somewhere. Or just keep pissing in the wind. Your choice.

Gino said...

he found the unread blog. if he want the unread blog writer, he can come to the west coat.

Anonymous said...

Gore and Bore Rhyme. Coincidence, I think not!