CHICAGO—The city of Chicago is steadily recovering from an overnight snowstorm that delayed hundreds of murders on Friday morning and will likely continue to push numerous homicides across the city drastically behind schedule, public authorities announced. “As we speak, maintenance crews are working diligently to restore public transportation, de-ice roads, and clear back alleyways so that Chicagoans can quickly resume murdering again,” Department of Streets and Sanitation spokesman Dave Michelson said of the heavy blizzard, which caused numerous homicide cancellations this morning at peak murder times.It's satire, remember.
Saturday, February 23, 2013
At least one anonymous leader of this blog thinks it poor sport of me to remind readers that the President of the United States is a Chicago politician. I could be a lot meaner than I've been, though -- behold the Onion: