Monday, September 30, 2013

Shutdown corner

Oh noes! The government might shut down! My goodness, what're we gonna do? Someone warn everyone about it!

Okay, I'm on it. Time for the usual trenchant analysis.

  • I assume, since it always happens, that the Democrats will blame the Republicans, particularly the hated Tea Party, for this outrage, and that the compliant mainstream media will report their comments verbatim without adding any qualifiers or caveats, because that is how it is. Democrats tell the truth and Republicans are nefarious weasels who prefer the 1% get everything because they're Snidely Whiplash and don't care about the concerns of the poor, the downtrodden and all those who add to the sum total of goodness and love in the world by way of assertion. So it will be asserted. So it shall be. Oh, and by the way, John Boehner looks just like an Oompa Loompa. Had you noticed?
  • The particularly evil thing that the Republicans, particularly the odious Tea Party types, did was to specifically call out the medical device tax as a portion of Obamacare that must be repealed. It's especially unfair to brave public servants like Sen. Al Franken, who once wrote a book about "Lying Liars" or something like that (I haven't been to the remainder section of the bookstore lately, so I'm not certain of the title, but I think that's right) to have to vote to save that medical device tax. It's just mean and I'm sure that the people who work for Medtronic, St. Jude Medical, etc. here in the Twin Cities will understand that he really does love them and their industry, but it's just those bastard Teabaggers who are putting him on the spot. Don't worry, Al -- you're good enough, smart enough, and doggone it, people still like you.
  • We spent a lot of time on our recent vacation in facilities administered by the National Park Service, including Abraham Lincoln's birthplace in Kentucky and William Howard Taft's home in Cincinnati. They are clean, well-lighted places and the people who work there have really cool uniforms that look like the Benster's Boy Scout uniform, although they have the cool park ranger hats, too. Those places will be shut down right away, of course, and they'll be pulling the big gates shut at Yosemite and Yellowstone, for sure. Further proof that those teabaggin' ne'er-do-wells don't give a flying fig about history -- they even shut down facilities that honor Republicans!
In other words, we're about to enter the Moron Zone. Have fun with it.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Shutdown? Let it burn.