You may not have heard about this development, but ostensible senate candidate Al Franken is the King of Portugal.
Wait, you say. What evidence do you have that Al Franken is the King of Portugal?
But you don't understand. You don't need evidence. You merely need to make an assertion and it's true*.
So I say that Al Franken is King of Portugal. Not a bad gig for the foul-mouthed product of St. Louis Park. Enjoy your reign in Lisbon, good sir!
*It must be true, because they offer "reality based commentary." Just ask them.