Benster and D Pick Your Games -- Once Again, The Packers Really Have Some Explaining To Do Edition

Old dude, I'll say this much. The Packers are very lucky that I can't do Very Special Comments every single weekend.

They did send this response:

So wait, the Packers hired Dana Carvey?

They've made worse hires.

True. I'd also mention and the Badgers put me in a really good mood. 

Your mood is like a circus wheel, it changes all the time.

Is that one of your song lyrics again?

Yes. Source material:

If you keep interrupting me, you'll be looking at this one:

Good point - this is starting to turn into an old school Guilty Pleasures video with Fearless Maria. Maybe I should ask her if she wants to do one of those again sometime....

That's a good idea, but set that up on your own time, okay. Meanwhile, as a clarification to last weekend's post, I screwed up when mentioning Mike Shanahan, when I was discussing what LaFleur is trying to emulate in Packers history. I meant to say Mike Holmgren, who of course did coach the Packers to a championship. Mike Shanahan of course denied the Packers a championship. That should make a lot more sense with what I was trying to do. I had no problem being called out for a pretty bad mistake. 

It's how we grow, grasshopper.

I am feeling the HYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEE! and ready to pick some games. I know that this is going up while the Gophers are playing, but by the time this goes up the fate of the Gophers out in Eugene should be clear. Watch me work. 

 Beloved Wisconsin Badgers (+29.5) vs. Indiana They Win, Google Them Last weekend was one of the most shocking Badger wins I have ever seen. How the Badgers won a game when their punter was the leading passer and played 4 quarterbacks makes no sense. You would do well to find a more shocking upset in college football this season. What really impressed me was that it looked like Badger football. The defense played tough, the offense was able to do enough, and beating a ranked Washington football team can hardly be called a fluke. The problem this week is that the Badgers have to go to Indiana. The Hoosiers have a great argument to be ranked first in my view because they beat Oregon on the road. I figure that Google Me Cignetti isn't going to fall into the same traps that Washington did. But you know what, the Badgers have nothing to lose at this point and are playing with confidence. I've been really critical of Luke Fickell, but he has already made me eat some of my words at least for one week. If he beats Indiana on the road, this will be the most shocking win in college football since the 2003 Big XII title game. For reference, that was when a very good Oklahoma team got manhandled by Kansas State. Call me delusional, but strange stuff happens in November in college football. Badgers 21, Google Them, They Win 14. 

If that prediction happens, if you Google them they'll have lost. But it won't. Indiana has been on a mission to destroy their previous tormentors. They hung 60+ on a ranked Illinois team. Despite the encouraging win last week, the Badgers aren't ranked. They're just rank. Historically, the Badgers have crushed the Hoosiers. That was then, and this is now. Indiana 83, Wisconsin 20.

The Bronze Turkey Bowl: Knox College Prairie Fire, Baby! (NL) vs. Monmouth College Scots Longtime readers know exactly why this game shows up every single year. If you are new here, I am a proud graduate of Knox College, and Monmouth is the school a few miles away. Now, I will admit that Knox hasn't gotten the Bronze Turkey back since the current students were born at this point, but streaks are made to be broken. I made a salad one day at the Knox cafeteria, and Monmouth awarded me a degree in nutrition, with highest honors. If you expect me to pick against my alma mater, then you are sadly mistaken. Prairie Fire 500, Scots -100 

Ah, the Turkey Shoot. Monmouth may be lacking in academic rigor (actually not true, it's a perfectly good school), but they have really good football players and have already clinched the conference championship. The Scots have been crushing every team in their path all season. And that's quite likely to happen again. Monmouth 52, Knox 7.

Bear Down Chicago Da Bearz Still Suck (+2.5) vs. Minnesota Vikings The Vikings ended up losing last week because they failed to finish their drives, and the Ravens are a good enough team to take advantage. I asked Mrs. D, aka Mom, who she thought was going to be the key player for the Vikings to win. She indicated that the key to her is going to be JJ McCarthy taking care of the ball and finishing those drives. The Bears are out for revenge after melting down against the Vikings back in September to start another round of Is Caleb The Guy. With the NFC North looking more scrambled thanks to recent events, the Vikings have to be thinking that keeping their head to head and divisional record tiebreakers intact is critical. This feels like a type of game that the Vikings can win. Vikings 31, Bears Still Suck 30.

They can, but will they? The Vikings are weird; they go into Detroit and look like world beaters, then get a toe tag in their own building against a middling Ravens team. So who shows up? Vikings 27, da Bearz 24.

Glorious Green Bay Packers (-7) vs. New York Football Giants While it is true that Brandon McManus missed the game tying kick, he isn't super high on the blame list. The Packers are a team that confuses me offensively. There are games where they look really good, and there are games where the defense does incredibly well and the offense vanishes. If you had told me that the Packers would play well against an explosive Eagles offense, I would have assumed that things would have gone swimmingly. If LaFleur was really serious about changing things, then he should give up calling plays and let someone else do it. As for Love, I wanted him to throw more instead of trying to prove that they could outtough the Eagles. The Giants are a team that just fired Brian Daboll and have to go to Jameis Winston after Jaxson Dart got injured; meanwhile it's apparent that Russell Wilson is washed. I'm surprised that Joe Flacco wasn't signed to face the Packers once again. The Packers are facing a game that they got to have if they want the noise to go away. Thankfully, the Packers know this and should win if they avoid playing with their food. Packers 45, Giants 17. 

The Giants aren't very good and they also have critical injuries on both sides of the ball. This is absolutely get-well week for the Packers. I think they figure it out. Prop bet - Jameis Winston throws a pick six to Xavier McKinney. Packers 31, Giants 14.

 Enjoy your football this weekend. Ben out.

Benster and D Pick Your Games-----This Must Be Like When The Packers Got Reggie White Edition

So this post is going up a day early because the Old Dude is going to be out on assignment this weekend. He and Mrs. D aka Mom are going to have a lot of fun.

Yes. Yes we are.

 Last week was a mixed bag for my two favorite football teams. Wisconsin at least didn't get blown out too badly, and the Packers once again made an NFC contender look foolish. Hard to argue with being 2-0 with 2 head to head wins that could be huge for playoff seeding down the line.

I dunno. Wisconsin didn't look too good, but maybe they get better this week.

 I am feeling the HYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYPPEEEEEEE! and ready to pick some games. Watch me work. 

 Maryland Terps (+10) vs. Beloved Wisconsin Badgers So in the interest of full disclosure, I ended up watching about half of the Alabama game before I ended up going to a very good lunch place down in Ft. Smith. What ended up hurting the Badgers was throwing the pick after Alabama had been stuffed on the 4th down early in the first quarter. Also, Ryan Williams ended up having one of the best games he will have all year. So there is no reason for me to do a Very Special Comment, since that would be unfair. Maryland is going to be the last game for a while that won't require perfection to win. As of this writing, there is no way of knowing if Edwards Jr. will play, but I think that the Badgers are going to win against an equal opponent at home before the hard part of the schedule comes in after the bye next week. Badgers 35, Terps 17. 

The Badgers have never lost to the Terps. Could that change this week? Perhaps, but I don't think Maryland is there yet. Badgers have shown some signs of life, although I think Benster was being too kind about their performance in Tuscaloosa last week. I think the good lunch in Fort Smith may have fogged his mind. We'll have to talk about Arkansas one of these days. Badgers 27, Maryland 20.

Knox College Prairie Fire Baby! (NL) vs. Beloit College Buccaneers So it is homecoming weekend, and a lot of alums like the Old Dude and Mrs. D aka Mom are going to be expecting a win. This is where I tell you that I am a proud alum of Knox. Both teams are among the have nots, and while the good news for the Bucs is that something tells me that fellow Knox alum Todd Monken won't be allowed to guest coach by the Ravens. So while I don't wish Beloit ill, I can't root against my school. Prairie Fire 40, Bucs 24. 

Looks like football, but really isn't

Knox vs. Beloit is a dismal game most years. My beloved Bucs have been terrible for about a decade and Knox has approached mediocrity, so the smart money is on Knox, but I'll go with my homestanding Bucs. Beloit 27, Knox 24.

Cincinnati Bengals (+3) vs. Minnesota Vikings I think it's fair to say that nobody expected a Carson Wentz vs. Jake Browning battle at US Bank Stadium. Sadly for me, Joe Burrow was my quarterback in fantasy football. I know nobody cares about my team, but thankfully I have Jared Goff ready to go. The Vikings all of a sudden are looking very mortal with having a very banged up offensive line and not many weapons for Wentz to throw. What is going to be interesting to me is that if Wentz plays well until the bye week. I think that should Wentz play really well, then the Vikings have to consider if JJ McCarthy might not be the guy going forward. The Bengals are going to be a tough opponent, but the Vikings should get a win. Then, KFAN will be able to mine hours of content off a QB controversy that is bound to happen. Vikings 31, Bengals 30. 

Did you know that Carson Wentz is on his sixth team in six years? He's always available and there's a reason for that. Having said that, the Bengals without Joe Burrow are not particularly formidable. It's a get well week for the locals. Vikings 24, Bengals 20.

Glorious Green Bay Packers (-8) vs. Cleveland Brownies Last week was a very impressive defensive performance, and Micah Parsons for two firsts and Kenny Clark is looking like Gutey pulled a Nigerian email scam of a heist on Jerry Jones. You love to see it. Now I am not going to lie, this game makes me nervous. The Browns have a very good pass rush and the Packers are banged up on the offensive line. The last two times the Packers and Browns have met, the Packers required close escapes. I feel like this could be the Matthew Golden coming out party, and something tells me that Jordan Love is going to make enough plays to pull away late in the 4th quarter. Packers 39, Browns 24. 

When I was growing up in the 1970s, you'd often see a banner hanging in the old Cleveland Memorial Stadium that said "Don't Clown With the Browns." I did a quick search for it and can't find an image, but that always cracked me up. The Browns of the 1970s were generally pretty good and Cleveland was a tough place to win. That hasn't been the case much recently. Packers could be overconfident here and I'm concerned that Tucker Kraft went on the injured list this afternoon, but if the Packers can block Myles Garrett, they'll roll. Packers 31, Browns 16.

 Enjoy your football this weekend. Ben out.

Benster and D Pick Your Games-------Don't Count Out The Badgers Edition

 If you are surprised by the title after me ripping the Badgers pretty good, then you must forget that I am a delusional homer. 

Oh, we know. There's over a decade of documentation on that point.

Meanwhile, it's another rivalry game for my other college football teams. There is a Turkey that needs to come home, if you know what I mean. 

Or, as usual, home to roost.

I am feeling the HYYYYYYYYYPPPEEEEEEE! and ready to pick some games. Watch me work.

Oregon Ducks (-13.5) vs. Beloved Wisconsin Badgers So the Badgers are going to be up against it, no questions asked. The Ducks might be the most complete team in the country, and I personally like Dan Lanning. But it is fair to say that they aren't invincible. They struggled at home against the Buckeyes and Boise State, and are going to come into this game with some injury concerns. The strange thing is that I am getting the sense from Ducks fans that they are nervous. Now, this game could get ugly. But I am a delusional homer who backs the Badgers. Luke Fickell is going to quiet the doubters. Badgers 26, Ducks 21.

The Badgers have had a week to stew about what happened in Iowa City, but the larger problems remain. They don't have a competent quarterback and the offensive line doesn't play in the road grader style that worked so well for so long. The Ducks did struggle against Boise, but that was a long time ago, and Ohio State is a much better program than Wisconsin at this time. I could see a scenario in which the Badgers hang around for a while, but talent will out, as it mostly does in the college game. Oregon 35, Wisconsin 20.

The Bronze Turkey Bowl: Monmouth College Scots vs. Knox College Prairie Fire Baby! For those wondering why I would pick a random D3 football game, I am a proud graduate of Knox College. It is really the greatest institution in the state of Illinois, and I spent 4 fantastic years at the school. Monmouth is the rival school, and has sadly dominated the Turkey Bowl for the better part of 2 decades. But streaks are made to be broken. I look for Knox to send our seniors off right, and get the Turkey back. The good news is that I got a degree in English from Monmouth for writing this blog post. Hey, I'm allowed to be biased.  Knox 44, Monmouth -345.

There are four "haves" in the Midwest Conference - Lake Forest, the University of Chicago, Illinois College, and Monmouth. Knox is a have not. They will be getting their annual whipping from their neighbors down U.S. 34. At least your Knox squad consistently beats my Beloit squad, so you got that going for you. Monmouth 45, Knox 17.

Minnesota Vikings (-6) vs. Tennessee Titans The Vikings had a very narrow escape from Jacksonville thanks to their defense. Sam Darnold last week looked really bad, no question about it. The good news for the Vikings is that the Titans can't block anyone, and their offense has set the NFL back a long time. I expect Brian Flores to be really aggressive, and for the Vikings offense to better show all of their high end passing talent. How do you even just kick field goals with all of that talent for Darnold to throw to? Vikings 45, Fall Of The Titans 0.

Titans are terrible. This game feels like a trap, though. But the Titans are terrible. Vikings are getting healthier and should prevail. Vikings 34, Titans 17.

Glorious Green Bay Packers (-5.5) vs. Bear Down Chicago Da Bearz Still Suck Two weeks ago didn't go well for the Packers, and they have only themselves to blame. Way too many errors against a good team in the Lions. I didn't rip them because at the end of the day it was just a sloppy performance by everyone, and as much as that sucks I can typically live with it. The Bears have a lot of issues, and those go beyond Shane Waldron. While it was all well and good to get Caleb Williams some weapons, the Bears should have invested some of their money into giving him a good offensive line. I think Caleb is going to be good, but his coaches and front office really have let him down. Heck, the Bears getting a new stadium doesn't matter until the McCaskey clan sells. This game is going to be really tough. The Bears are always a tough out, and I think that they are going to come into Soldier Field with a point to prove. The Packers should win if they blitz and Jordan cleans up the turnover issues, but don't expect a blowout. Packers 28, Bears Still Suck 21.

I don't expect a blowout, either, but you can see what is happening. My feeling has always been that the Bears never seem to understand why an offensive line has to come first; during the Walter Payton era they did and they won consistently. That was (ahem) 40 years ago. They have struggled with the Packers for 30 years now. The Packers are better from top to bottom. And they will win. Packers 31, da Bears 20.

I am so glad that there are no more political ads. Enjoy your football this weekend. Ben out. 

Benster and D Pick Your Games-----NFL Outdated Television Rules Screwed Me Over Edition

 Boy, the NFL and the CBS corporate suits in New York really screwed over Packers and Steelers fans in a lot of markets this week. It's almost like they want to leave money on the table and make me go to a restaurant to watch the Packers again. 

They take a lot of ads for Buffalo Wild Wings. Just sayin'.

Meanwhile, the Packers did calm me down a little bit with their performance last week, and it was good to see. 

It helps when you play terrible opponents.

I am feeling the HYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYPPPPEEEE! and ready to pick some games. Watch me work.

The Bronze Turkey Bowl: Knox College Prairie Fire, Baby! (NL) vs. Monmouth College Scots Ah yes, the Bronze Turkey Bowl. This is one of the oldest rivalries in college football, and the type of local rivalry that is still maintained despite the best attempts of college presidents to chase the television dollar. Longtime readers know that I am a proud graduate of Knox, the greatest institution in the state of Illinois. Monmouth is our biggest rival, and this is the last game of the year. Knox has improved this year, and is going to finish in the lower middle part of the Midwest Conference. Monmouth is trying to win the league. This is where I remind you that Monmouth is an inferior school and when I got a salad at the cafeteria freshman year, Monmouth gave me a degree in nutrition with highest honors and I was named valedictorian. It's time that Knox ruins their season, and we get the Turkey back home where it belongs. Blaze The Knox Fox 24, Scots 21.  

Monmouth may be academically challenged, but they tend to kick big butt on the football field. And unfortunately your Knox squad is gonna get squashed. Monmouth 54, Knox 17.

Minnesota Golden Elite Rowers of the Boat (-1) vs. Purdue Spoilermakers The Gophers were looking like they were going to have a good win against Illinois, before they inexplicably decided to play prevent defense and let the Illini score in the last minute. You really hate to see it. PJ has to rally his troops by using more of his motivational speeches and create new slogans to put on oar branded merchandise available at Goldy's Locker Room. Purdue hasn't claimed their annual how did they win this game win, and Purdue Pete needs to get his quota. Maybe Purdue could stop being mad at Michigan, but that is another topic for another day because that story is moving way too fast. The Gophers are officially on Spoilermaker watch. Spoilermakers 35, Row Row Row Your Boat Elitely 28.

West Lafayette is not a pleasant place to visit. I think the Gophers will win, though, as Purdue hasn't shown much this year. Minnesota 24, Purdue 17.

Northwestern Purple Nerds (+10.5) vs. Beloved Wisconsin Badgers That was a game that the Badgers shouldn't have lost last week, and it falls on the coaching staff. Indiana played hard, and the Badgers came out sluggish, played uninspired football, and Longo didn't put his offense in a position to win. You can't do that in Big Ten play. Northwestern has done a lot better than most people thought after their offseason from hell, and the Purple Nerds tend to save all of their annoying voodoo for Wisconsin. But if the Badgers can get healthy and play better, this game is very much winnable. Get the bowl game and those extra practices now, guys. Badgers 42, Purple Nerds 11.

Bucky will be motivated. Bucky is still a better team. The result? Wisconsin 27, Northwestern 17.

New Orleans Saints (-3) vs. Minnesota Vikings I have no idea how the Vikings won last week, and Josh Dobbs might bring back the magic of 2017. So in the interest of full disclosure, I only saw the last minute live because I was paying close attention to the Packers. But what I did see was the Vikings pulling out a game that they had no business even being close to winning after Hall went out. Now, Dobbs gets a full week as the starter, and will have a better command of the offense as one might reasonably expect. The Saints aren't great this year, but the good news for them is that they play in the putrid NFC South, where all 4 coaches are terrible, nobody knows how good each team is, and someone is going to get a home playoff game over a more deserving 5 seed. The Vikings are very much in playoff contention, and they could play their way back into something greater if the LOLions aren't careful. Vikings 28, Saints 0.

This season is weird. I don't know if the Vikings are legit or not. Dobbs is a pretty good stopgap until whatever quarterback future the Vikings will have arrives. Having the game here will help them, too. Vikings 24, Saints 20.

Glorious Green Bay Packers (+3) vs. Pittsburgh Yinzers So despite the fact that WCCO would love to air this game, they can't because the NFL wants me to watch the Vikings despite the fact that this game would get better ratings than the Chargers/LOLions game. Screw you, CBS and the NFL. Once again I will have to make plans to go to a restaurant to watch the game. The Packers last week finally played well, even though the Rams were terrible. The defense did their jobs, the offense looked better, and the team fought through some bad turnovers and more terrible penalties. The Steelers are above .500, which makes no sense. The Matt Canada offense is really bad, and the Steelers rely on their defense and high end talent to bail themselves out of trouble. What really concerns me is that the Packers are banged up on the offensive line. That won't go well with TJ Watt on the other side and the Steelers pass rushers. If you love ugly football, than the matchup between the stoppable force of the Steelers offense and the movable object of the Packers defense is the matchup you wanted. Now, I ask a Yinzer to comment on the Steelers. Warning, this video may include NSFW language. 

Now that we have that out of the way, a score: Packers 28, Steelers 20.

I agree with you that the Steelers aren't anything special this year, but the Packers have not solved their myriad problems. And if you hadn't heard, the Packers have not won in Pittsburgh since 1970. That was a different time. Steelers 24, Packers 20.

And now, time for me to rant about the NFL and how they should have fixed the broadcasting situation involving the Packers in the Twin Cities. I wouldn't be writing this if the Packers game was on Fox just like the Vikings game. I get that you gotta do what you gotta do in that situation, and it happens multiple times a year. But seriously not allowing CBS to air the Packers game in the early window here? What did they spike your deli with in the NFL office? People are going to hit me with, you live in Minnesota and you should just buy Sunday Ticket. Here is the thing, the Vikings game was going to sell out, and the Packers and Steelers fans here aren't going to watch that game in person. Not everyone in the Twin Cities is a Vikings fan, and there is a strong fanbase. Heck, KFAN has a Packer preview show. That's right, the flagship Vikings station has a show dedicated to the Packers because it makes money. The Steelers are a national brand, and this game is going to do very well and keep CBS competitive in ratings terms vs. Fox getting the Cowboys/Giants game as their top game in the late window. Also, I get a vast majority of Packers games in this market anyway between the Packers being on national tv a lot and WCCO and KMSP always choosing the Packers when the Vikings are not on their airwaves. Why should I pay 400 bucks for Sunday Ticket when it's cheaper to go to a restaurant to watch the Packers. What the NFL should have done is allowed WCCO to air the Packers-Steelers game opposite the Vikings game, and then have the Cowboys game be the only game in the late window. That makes the NFL and the local affiliates more money, and gives this market a slate of games that better reflects the NFL rooting interests of the Twin Cities. But when I emailed WCCO to mention that, I got a reply stating that the NFL makes the rules. But thankfully, I have an idea that would make sure that this wouldn't happen. 

Uh-oh, you've been brainstorming again.

Yes I have, old dude! Not cool your jets and listed up. So in this plan, each week is a double doubleheader week, similar to Week 1 and Week 18. What I would do is to take a page from college football, where as soon as the schedule is finalized but before it is released to the public, Fox and CBS get 8 weeks each where each network gets the first two picks of Sunday afternoon games. The first pick would be the featured late game on the network, and the same network gets to pick the best early game. Then, the network who doesn't have first pick gets to pick the third game for their featured late game, and the fourth pick is their best early game. The featured late game on both FOX and CBS is protected from flex, with NBC getting to pick from the rest. What I mean by taking a page from college football is that with the Big Ten, Fox, CBS, and NBC get to choose in order which week they want to have the best Big Ten game. Since Fox has the first pick, they naturally will take the Michigan-Ohio State game every year. 

Not much interest in the Rutgers/Nebraska tilt, I suppose.

I just about fell asleep at the mere mention of that game, old dude! But Fox and CBS also get a couple of other things. I would add 4 more international games, and Fox and CBS each get two of them to get a tripleheader that they can advertise. I'd also give them each a Saturday double header late in the season that is exclusive to their network, so that they can run with that. 

Speaking of international, is the game on at the International House of Pancakes?

Stop huffing the maple syrup, Geritol Fan! Is the idea perfect? Of course not. No idea is. But this would serve fans better by giving them better games, and Sunday Ticket would still be a thing. 

Don't count on it, but we'll see.

Roger, have your people call my people. In the meantime, as always, enjoy your football this weekend. Ben out. 

Benster and D Pick Your Games ---- I Have Some Words For Certain People Edition

That performance last week in Detroit was a complete joke. And I have some words for some people. You have been warned. This might get spicy. 

Uh-oh -- Ben is breaking it all out:

Pour on the flavor

Spicy, but certainly not salt-free. 

Oh, it's been salty all season.

Meanwhile, this week has the most important rivalry in college football. It's called the Bronze Turkey Game, not something else.

I'm going to call it something else for sure.

I am feeling the HYYYYYYYPPEEEEE! and ready to pick some games. It's time to watch me work.

Northwestern Purple Nerds Voodoo (+15.5) vs. Minnesota Golden Elite Rowers of the Boat It wasn't easy sailing for the Gophers in Lincoln, but the Gophers got it done against the Huskers. The big question is who is going to start at quarterback between Morgan and his backup. But it shouldn't matter too much who Row The Boat Fleck chooses. Northwestern is horrible and won't pull off any of their nerd voodoo this week. But if they did, that would be hilarious. Row Row Row Your Boat Elitely 56, Purple Nerds 0.

Northwestern is not good. They dragged Ohio State into the Ryan Field tar pit a bit last weekend, but that was a fluke. And Fleck can handle flukes. Gophers 38, Northwestern 7.

Beloved Wisconsin Badgers (-1.5) vs. Iowa Hawkeyes Last week went pretty well for the Badgers against Maryland despite the wind causing problems all day in Madison. Iowa has gotten back on track, but the Iowa offense still is a work in progress. Brian Ferentz only has the job because of nepotism, and long may it continue. This rivalry game is often decided in the trenches, and Iowa City is going to be a tough out as it has been in the past. The Badgers should win another physical contest. In fact, I even found a nature documentary.

You'll thank me later. Badgers 31, Hawkeyes 27.

Marlin Perkins will have none of that. Iowa, as usual, has an excellent defense, but they have an offense that is a crime against humanity. So your predicted score makes no sense. However, this one does. Badgers 14, Hawkeyes 12.

The Bronze Turkey Game: Monmouth College Scots (NL) vs. Knox College Prairie Fire This is one of the oldest rivalries in the history of the NCAA across all the divisions, and is the most important Knox game all year. Now, you can tell me that the inferior school down the road known as Monmouth has won 22 straight. You can also tell me that the Scots are trying to get a share of the conference title and potentially play in the D3 playoffs. But just remember one thing. This Knox team is at .500 and is competitive, and streaks are made to be broken. No matter what happens, I graduated from the better school. Once, when I was eating in the cafeteria at Knox, I got myself a salad. Monmouth gave me a degree in nutrition with highest honors. Knox 31, Scots are Trash 0.

Ah, it's the Turkey Shoot! And Knox is hitting the ground like sacks of wet cement! It won't be that bad, of course, but if you see any helicopters over Galesburg, you'd best find cover. Monmouth 42, Knox 17.

Minnesota Vikings (+3) vs. Buffalo Bills So the Vikings are Super Bowl contenders according to the KFAN Vikings Politburo, the Pravda of the Minnesota sports media. As much as I would normally laugh at the Vikings enablers in the media, they have a point. But now they have to go to Buffalo, a Super Bowl contender as well. We all know what happened in Philly back in September, but there is a twist this time. Josh Allen's status is up in the air, and the Vikings could be looking at Case Keenum. Yes, the same guy who was the author of the Minneapolis Miracle, where I have to remind you that that single play covered up the Vikings blowing a 17 point lead, allowing the Vikings and their fans to disrespect the Eagles and get smoked the next week. But I digress. The Vikings can quiet the doubters, but this will be difficult. Nobody Circles The Wagon Like the Buffalo Bills 24, Vikings Gonna Viking 10.

I don't know what will happen, but if the Bills win the game on a last-second Keenum to Diggs touchdown pass, I will laugh my butt off. Vikings have won all the close games this year. Not sure they can sustain that, even if they aren't looking at Josh Allen this week. Bills 24, Vikings 19.

Dallas How Bout Them Cowboys? (-4.5) vs. Glorious Green Bay Packers So last week didn't go well, and I have words for certain people. The good news is that some of the wounded will go, and this game wasn't flexed out because of the ratings the game will get. Mike McCarthy returns to Lambeau for the first time since we fired him in 2018. Despite the ending of his tenure, McCarthy did win us a Super Bowl among other great things, and he is the best coach the Packers have had in my lifetime after Mike Holmgren. The Cowboys are good, but there is good news for the Packers. McCarthy still makes bonehead decisions at times, and has wasted talented Cowboys teams. This is the last chance saloon, and the Packers have nothing to lose. Just like in 2009, the Packers were in dire straits facing the Cowboys at Lambeau, and won that day. Skip Bayless is going to be a fun watch on Monday. Packers 38, Cowboys 24.

I so want to pick the Packers. I really do. But they have no receivers available, their offensive line is a mess and they have lost about three key contributors on defense. And Dallas comes in healthy with something to prove. And so they shall. Cowboys 31, Packers 20.

And now, it's time for a Very Special Comment. There are four indviduals who need to be on the hot seat in Green Bay. This list isn't in order, as all four men are culpable in some way. 

Aaron Rodgers, you need to put down the bong and produce. You are getting paid 50 million a year, and you have gotten the organization to bend to your will. You haven't been good with the young receivers, and you had a pathetic performance against the Lions. You knew that this season was going to be about getting used to your weapons without Davante. Maybe instead of spending the summer going on every single damn podcast and playing golf with Gisele's ex, Allen, and Mahomes, you should have attended OTAs and worked to get on the same page with your weapons. You are becoming late stage Brett. You are the leader of this team, and goddammit, you need to start acting like one instead of bitching to the media. This might make me a wanted man, but it's time to strongly consider moving on from Aaron and giving someone else a shot to play quarterback. Maybe Love, or someone else. 

What's not to Love?

Pay no attention to the old dude -- this is my comment. Matt LaFleur's decision making last week was some of the most baffling I have ever seen from a Packers head coach. Four trips to the red zone, and not a single point came out of any of those trips? Calling a tackle eligible pass on 4th and goal? Not telling Aaron to just pick up first downs on the last drive instead of going for the downs? Still not running the ball enough after being called out about it for weeks? That is snobbery, and this team ain't good enough. At some point, get back to basics first and master them before trying to prove how clever you are. He is falling into the same trap that Mike Sherman fell into in 2005. If the Packers miss the playoffs, he should be fired for his refusal to adjust to what he has and not maximizing the chances of success. That's his job, and what we hired him to do. Maybe it's time to take away Aaron's ability to change the plays, or have him give up calling plays. But he won't do it, and continue to bury his head in the sand as this team burns around him and he doesn't do the basic jobs as a head coach. 

Joe Barry, your defense was supposed to be the strength of the team this year. I get that there have been injuries, but there is no increased pressure, and we allowed a broken Jared Goff too much time, and were soft against the run. It turns out hiring the defensive coordinator of the 0-16 Lions wasn't a smart idea. Considering LaFleur basically hands the defense to you, I expect a hell of a lot better. Have fun being the yearly organizational sacrifice of a coordinator like Pettine Prevent, Shaun Slocum, and Maurice Drayton. You may want to polish up your page on the ol' LinkedIn.

Gutey, you are falling into the same traps that Tradedown Ted had. Some of these contracts have been questionable, and every unit somehow looks worse despite you continuing to follow the draft and develop mantra that this organization talks about. Failing to get a wideout at the deadline is weak sauce. I don't care what other teams were asking for, go and get them. This team is in a win now mode, and other teams have made moves at the deadline to improve. Instead of hoarding the draft picks, you should have offered the Steelers more than what the Bears offered for Claypool, or even gone after someone similar to him. You should be fired, and it's time to go outside the Ron Wolf tree. And no, John Schneider is not leaving Seattle. Those draft picks you saved? Maybe someone else will be using them.

Mark Murphy, you know what a winning culture is when you played in DC for Joe Gibbs in the 1980s, when you were athletic director at Colgate when they won consecutive Patriot League basketball titles with Adonal Foyle and Jack Bruen, and when you oversaw Pat Fitzgerald at Northwestern. Your job is to run the organization for the shareholders, and the refusal to make necessary changes means that I expect you to hand in your resignation effective now. Not in a couple of years, but now. You hired everyone I have mentioned in some way, shape or form. Bob Harlan changed everything when he made the right hires, and made the fans believe that we would get back to what the organizational standards are. The Packers are the team who has won the most championships, and have always strived to have the best of everything in the NFL where we can win championships, and that no matter who is in the key positions, that the high standards of the organization are being met. This team isn't meeting the Packers tradition of excellence. And if you want to know why, I can send you a mirror. 

It's time for all of those men I have mentioned to leave, and find people who can return this team to being in position to successfully get the 14th world title. Our number one goal every year is to bring the Lombardi trophy home. There is a cancer within the organization, and it needs to be purged now for the betterment of the team. I used to trust all 5 of those men, but no longer. I will thank them for their contributions to the Packers, but the fans and shareholders deserve better. Only a real fan would say that, even though it hurts. But truths need to be addressed. 

Okay. I am not sure you can fire everyone, but I understand why you feel the way you do. I am glad you weren't around for the 1970s and the 1980s, because there was only false hope. We'll see what the rest of this year brings.

Fair enough. Enjoy your football this weekend. Ben out. 

Benster and D Pick Your Games----Who Replaces Chryst Edition?

Well, I was planning to share my thoughts about the disaster last week at Camp Randall, but Wisconsin actually fired Paul Chryst. I get why the wider college football community is surprised, but the issues were there if you looked beyond the surface. While I still maintain that Chryst will be fondly remembered for his success with the Badgers, this was a change that probably needed to be made for the sake of the program.

Surprisingly reasonable take! I agree, the rot had set in.

This edition of our favorite football feature is going early on because D is going to be on assignment this weekend. I hope that he has fun.

I'll take pictures and stuff like that. 

I am feeling the HYYYYYYYPPPEEEE! and ready to pick some games. And at the end, I will share a list of people who I think the Badgers should take a look at besides Jim Leonhard, who will have an extended job interview. Watch me work.

Beloved Wisconsin Badgers (-10) vs. Northwestern Wildcats So last week went horribly wrong in so many ways. Quite honestly, the coaching situation will get more coverage than what happens on the field. The good news is that the Badgers have had some time to get used to the new reality and have nothing to lose the rest of the year. The bad news is that this game is at Ryan Field. The Badgers not only normally struggle against the Purple Nerds, but Ryan Field is a stadium where the Badgers stumble at for reasons unknown to man. Leonhard will be approaching this as a job interview, and while this won't be easy, this is a game that the Badgers can win. Badgers 24, Purple Nerds 13.

History proves the Badgers struggle at Ryan Field even when they have a good team. The 2022 Badgers are, based on available evidence, not a good team. However, the Wildcats are channeling the late 70s era when Northwestern was dismal every year. That won't continue forever, but it will continue this week. Badgers get a bounce from having a new coach, so... Badgers 27, Wildcats 14.

Knox College Prairie Fire, Baby! (NL) vs. Beloit College Bucs So this is Beloit's homecoming weekend, and Strong Stadium will packed with alums like the Old Dude hoping that the Bucs can get it going. Both teams are 0-3 in conference play, but Knox has been at the very least semi competitive. Beloit is trying to get better, but it's going to take some time. I'll be honest, I'm a Knox alum, and won't pick against the Fire. We might be a soccer school, but we should win this one. Knox 28, Beloit 14.

You're right, your Knox squad should win. Beloit hasn't won a game in a few years. They are showing signs of improvement, but getting beat soundly instead of destroyed may not be sufficient progress to beat a middling opponent. Just because of loyalty, I say... Beloit 24, Knox 21.

Bear Down Chicago Da Bearz Still Suck (+7.5) vs. Minnesota Vikings The Vikings did end up winning, and despite what the folks in New Orleans will tell you it wasn't because of the zebras. It is Kirktober, which is good news for both the Vikings and my fantasy team. Da Bearz are a mess. Justin Fields was supposed to be the savior who would return the Bears to 1985. To nobody's surprise, that hasn't happened. Fields looks bad, and Gino is already looking for another savior quarterback in next year's draft. The Vikings should roll this one to keep pace in the NFC North. But a word of warning, the Vikings have had two straight narrow escapes, and that is living dangerously. This game is like a trapdoor in a Scooby Doo episode if they are not careful. Da Bearz Still Suck 31, Vikings 28.

Here's a look at the Vikings studying the Bears playbook:

Kevin O'Connell should really consider an ascot

The Bears aren't completely terrible; they have won twice this season. But what is happening to Justin Fields is franchise malpractice. They are giving him no support and it's evident that no one in the organization has any trust in him. Perhaps that is justified; I'm not in the coaching meetings. But the Bears are never going to move forward until they figure out offensive football, as opposed to being offensive generally. Vikings should cruise. Vikings 27, Bears 10.

New York Football Giants (+8) vs. Glorious Green Bay Packers, in London For the first time since 1994 against the Falcons, the Packers will be playing a true home game away from Lambeau Field in the regular season. To all the European Packers fans, you have one very important job. Give us as much home field advantage as possible. The Giants have gotten better, but are banged up in the passing game. Considering the defense struggled against the Patriots on the ground last week, Saquon could be a problem. The Packers didn't play well last week, and Aaron in particular needs to step it up after two subpar games. I think the Packers are due for a comfortable win, and should get it. Packers 42, Giants 24.

As readers of this feature may know, I am a supporter of Tottenham Hotspur, the club whose home stadium will host this game. It's going to be odd to see the Packers in this venue, but it's a newish stadium designed specifically for football, so it should be comfortable. The Giants are somehow 3-1, but no one takes them seriously. I suggest the Packers do, because while they are 3-1 they haven't shown they are a top echelon team at any point this season. Packers 31, Giants 20.

And now, time for my list of who I want to see the Badgers hire. And Jim Leonhard is excluded because he will get every chance to get the interim tag removed down the road. This list is in no particular order.

Lance Leipold: Hot name, has done a great job at Kansas. Has Wisconsin roots thanks to his time at Whitewater.

Chris Petersen: Proven winner with Boise State and Washington, and would bring connections to the West Coast that would help once the LA schools join the conference.

Chris Klieman: Great job at NDSU, and has done a great job at K State replacing a popular coach in Bill Synder.

Dan Mullen: Quarterback guru who has developed Tebow, Kyle Trask, and Dak among others. Won at both Florida and Mississippi State. Would bring connections in the South and a new philosophy on offense.

Luke Fickell: Broke the glass ceiling with the Bearcats, and knows the conference thanks to his time with the Buckeyes. 

Dave Aranda: Was a great defensive coordinator in Madison, and would bring ties in the state of Texas for recruiting.

Matt Rhule: Had success rebuilding Temple and Baylor, and is likely on the hot seat with the Panthers. Better coach in college as well.

Eric Bieniemy: Bold hire who would bring an NFL style offense to Madison. Everyone talks about him as a hot candidate, why not see what he can do in college? Plus, he could sell his NFL experience to elite high school quarterback recruits.

Jake Dickert: We saw what he is doing in Pullman first hand. Wisconsin native and could be our version of Fleck.

Bronco Mendenhall: Used to dealing with recruiting on strict standards based on his time at UVA and BYU. 

Todd Monken: Besides being a Knox alum, he has done a great job with the Georgia offense and I'm surprised his name hasn't come up more.

Shawn Clark: Doing a great job at App State and would be a dark horse candidate to watch.

That's my list. 

My only suggestion is to avoid these guys:

We disagree with your picks, Benster

Good advice, old dude! Enjoy your football this weekend. Ben out.

Benster and D Pick Your Games------St. Boni Edition

Old dude, we are going to be on assignment tomorrow afternoon, watching the most important college football game of the year.

What, you're bringing a portable television?

No, Geritol Fan. We're going to scenic St. Bonifacius, Minnesota, to watch your beloved Beloit Bucs play Clown College.

Clown College?

Oh, I'm sorry, I meant Crown College.

I heard about them:

Do you want to crown their asses?

No, I wanna row the boat. So we'll start there. Watch me work!

Georgia Southern Eagles (+16.5) vs. Minnesota Golden Elite Rowers of the Boat I think it's safe to say that the Gophers are lucky to be 2-0. They barely got by the Jackrabbits, and someone they pulled a Houdini act in Fresno. But give them their due, they won. Now, Georgia Southern comes calling. This game is a trap game and, quite honestly, one they should lose. Eagles 35, Gophers 14.

Thurston, you've been eating the brandied peaches without the peaches again, haven't you? Georgia Southern is the weakest opponent the Gophers have yet seen and the game is at home. I think the Gophers do much better than you think. Gophers 35, Eagles 14.

Beloit College Buccaneers (NL) vs. Crown College Storm This is going to be an interesting game. Both teams lost their opener, and neither were very good. Old dude's beloved Bucs have been, well, let's have Charles Barkley describe their performance:

But here's the thing. Crown College is also turrible. They were thrashed by perpetual MIAC footwipe St. Olaf last week, so they aren't exactly covering themselves in glory. In fact, I heard the MIAC wants to add Crown to replace St. Thomas, because that way everyone else gets a free W. Beloit 21, Crown 0.

Gee, I hope so. The Bucs have been a dumpster fire for a long time now and it's actually disheartening. Crown is a very small Christian school, with an enrollment of about 500. They may have to suit up some coeds to field a team. If my Bucs get beat tomorrow, they ought to fold it up and close Strong Stadium for good. Beloit 17, Crown 14.

Iowa Wesleyan Tigers (NL) vs. Knox College Prairie Fire Meanwhile, let's consider my alma mater, the beloved Prairie Fire. They are playing Iowa Wesleyan, which is also a very small college in Mount Pleasant, Iowa. It's usually not very pleasant in Mount Pleasant, especially on the football field. The Fire misfired last week against Eureka, but I have to believe that we can win at the storied Knosher Bowl. Alabama is too scared to come to the Knosher Bowl, by the way. Knox 10, Iowa Wesleyan 6.

You know what's a good thing for both Knox and Beloit? They still have Grinnell in the league. Knox should beat Iowa Wesleyan, though. Knox 24, Iowa Wesleyan 13.

Minnesota Vikings (+2.5) vs. Glorious Green Bay Packers So, let's get to some real football. Vikings fans were very happy last Sunday. Packers fans were happy a few days before that. Who will be happy this weekend? Well, this game could go either way. The Vikings will be better on offense than the Bears, who seem to share a playbook with Crown College. The Packers defense will provide more resistance than the Falcons defense, which seems to share a playbook with Iowa Wesleyan. I'm a delusional homer (you may have noticed) and that allows me to pick the Packers every time. This game won't be easy, but it is winnable. Packers 28, Vikings 24.

Hmm. I still need to see Aaron Rodgers be healthy. Until I do, the only thing that is healthy is my skepticism. I think the Vikings are the most talented team in the division overall, but the Packers are catching up. Have they closed the gap? Vikings 24, Packers 23.

Bear Down Chicago Da Bearz Still Suck (-2.5) vs. Denver Broncos So, da Bearz looked pretty poor against our glorious Packers last week. Were the Packers that good? Or is Mitchell Trubisky a steaming pile? All I know is Sid Luckman is not walking through that door. The Broncos also looked putrid last week against the dumpster fire Raiders, so that's good news for Bears fans. However, the game is in Denver, where the Broncos are a tough out. Weird things happen at that elevation. Bears 0, Broncos 0.

The Broncos are looking at quarterbacks again:

I bet he could throw that steak over the damned mountains. The Bears need this game. I think they get it. Bears 17, Broncos 10.

If that game ends in a scoreless tie, I am definitely buying Powerball next week. Ben out!

Benster and D Pick Your Games -- I Told You So Edition

I told you the Packers were going to go down to Chicago and beat the Bears.

You did. And you were right. How about that?

I don't just bring HYYYYYYPPPPPE! I also bring knowledge from a higher plain.

Columbia Heights?

No, I shared it with Marianne Williamson.

Crystal blue persuasion, then.

I have no idea what you're talking about. As usual. You might want to adjust that Geritol dosage there, old dude. But although my wisdom is well demonstrated, we have more games to pick. Watch me work!

Minnesota Golden Elite Rowers of the Boat (-3) vs. Fresno State Bulldogs. The Gophers have paddled their boat out to an arid agricultural area, Fresno. This is the type of game the Gophers can lose. The crowd at Fresno is loud, obnoxious, and inebriated, and the Bulldogs are actually pretty good at football. Bulldogs 35, Row Row Row Your Boat Elitely 10.

The knock on Jeff Tedford is that his system is good for tricking people, but when the talent differential is sufficient, his bag of tricks doesn't work. Are the Gophers talented enough to avoid getting turned into a bag of pistachios? We're gonna find out. Gophers 24, Fresno 21.

Central Michigan Chippewas (+35) vs. Beloved Wisconsin Badgers.  The Badgers looked like a machine against South Florida last week. The encouraging sign was Jonathan Taylor getting involved in the passing game. Two catches? Two touchdowns. Meanwhile, he rushed for his usual 100+ and two more touchdowns, and then he took most of the second half off. The Chips are historically a solid MAC team, but last year, not so much. I like the Badgers in this one, not surprisingly. Badgers 42, Chips 17.

Bucky was shockingly good against South Florida, a team that has been bowling in recent years. The thing that impressed me the most was the defense, which shut the Bulls down completely. The Bulls are more talented than the Chippewas, so this could get ugly. Badgers 50, Chippewas 0.

Knox College Prairie Fire (NL) vs. Eureka College Red Devils. It's the fabled Lincoln Bowl game, in which my beloved Prairie Fire takes on Eureka, the alma mater of one Ronald Reagan. Unfortunately for the Red Devils, Ronald Reagan is not walking through that door. Of course, since he's been dead for 15 years, he hasn't been particularly ambulatory lately. Knox 21, Eureka 14.

I have no idea. I have no idea. Did I mention I have no idea? Eureka 21, Knox 14.

Hotlanta Falcons (+4) vs. Minnesota Vikings. The Vikings come into this season with a lot of hope and question marks. One thing that confuses me to no end is why Gary Kubiak is not the offensive coordinator when Mike Zimmer wants to run Kubiak's offense? Is it because Zimmer needs to spend more time working with his beloved double A gap defensive system? Or is it that he wants to reserve the right to fire yet another offensive coordinator, with Kevin Stefanski in the always-molten chair. Regardless of what you think, this year will tell a lot about the Vikings. I think they can beat Atlanta, but I'm not certain that will happen. Falcons 27, Vikings 24.

The Vikings are hard to gauge. They will defend, as has been the pattern under Zimmer, but will they be able to score? Kirk Cousins is, well, enigmatic. But I think Good Kirk shows up this week. Vikings 31, Falcons 20.

It should be an interesting weekend. My recommend is to avoid going downtown on Sunday. The Vikings are in town. The Twins are in town. And I-94 is closed in St. Paul and I-494 is closed near the airport. If you're not coming to the games from Maple Grove, good luck with that. Ben out!

Benster and D Pick Your Games -- Mutual of Omaha Wild Kingdom Edition

Old dude, it's looking like Mutual of Omaha around here. We had a fox come through our yard recently, and it was not Blaze the Knox Fox.

Not Blaze?

I'll protect you from the weasels from Monmouth, President Amott!

No, he looked more like this guy:

I'll get that rabbit!

It wasn't this guy?

Not me, ya big dummy!

Sorry, I didn't watch Sanford and Son. I wasn't around for your prehistoric television viewing. But now I'm here to discuss some football, with all the insight and just the right amount of HYYYYYYPPPE! Watch me work!

Big Ten Championship Game: Northwestern Wildcats (+15) vs. A School In Columbus. If you had told me that Northwestern would win the west, I would have said, no way! A School in Columbus is coming off a very impressive demolition of  Dad Pants Harbaugh and his eternally disappointing Wolverines. In doing so, Urban Liar and his pals likely wrecked the chances of the B1G getting into the playoffs. Northwestern has had some black magic this year and it's time for A School in Columbus to get rewarded for its failure to fire Urban Liar. Northwestern 42, Fire Urban Liar 0.

Uh, no. You realize this is the more likely scenario:

If you enjoyed 59-0 as much as I did, which wasn't much, don't be surprised if we get something of a reprise. The Buckeyes are a ruthless bunch of Ohio-based mercenaries and they'll show no quarter. Ohio State 38,  Northwestern 14.

Bear Down Chicago Da Bearz Still Suck (-3.5) vs. New York All Hail The New York Giants. Our friend Gino would like to remind everyone that the Chicago Bears are in first place in the NFC North Division. I would like to remind everyone that the Green Bay Packers beat the Bears in Week 1, despite a 20-point deficit in the second half. Now that we've gotten that out of the way, let's talk about the game. Da Bearz come in off a nice rest following a surprisingly easy win over the LOLions, even though Chase Daniel was at the controls. Mitchell Trubisky should be back, unless he was part of Kareem Hunt's posse, although we have no evidence of that. The Giants are a mess, but they do have talent, especially one Saquon Barkley. Although I still think da Bearz  are the better squad, watch out -- this has got trap game written all over it. Giants 31, da Bearz 17.

Huh. I've seen the Giants play recently. They're bad. Forget Saquon Barkley -- the Barkley one should attend to is this guy, who offers his opinion:

Are the Bears for real? I'm still not sure. But they're real enough to beat these guys. Bears 28, Giants 20.

Raising Arizona Cardinals (+14) vs. Glorious Green Bay Packers. For the love of God, could the Packers please win on Sunday? The Old Dude officially gets even older on Sunday and he deserves a win. The Cardinals are a dumpster fire right now. I feel bad for Larry Fitzgerald, who deserves much better, but it's his choice to play with these dead birds. Packers 45, Cardinals 10.

We were able to get some film from the Cardinals practice:

That's about how it's gone for the Cardinals lately. I don't know that they'll show up in Green Bay with a panty on their head, but one never knows. Packers 28, Cardinals 17.

Minnesota Vikings (+5.5) vs. New England Patriots. Meanwhile, the Vikings. Our locals are happy with their win last week, but now comes the reality check. I think it's fair to say the Vikings aren't guaranteed a playoff spot, considering they are visiting two distinct houses of horror in the next two weeks. First, a trip to Foxborough, then a trip to Seattle. It's also fair to say that if the Vikings miss the playoffs, Kirk Cousins will finally get criticized. I like New England in this one. Patriots 24, Vikings 13.

I am not sure what to think about this one. I keep waiting for the Patriots to implode, but they never do. I think your instincts are correct about a low-scoring affair, but I think it's going to be close. Patriots 24, Vikings 21.

Enjoy your weekend and look out for foxes. Ben out!

Benster and D Pick Your Games--Bronze Turkey Bowl Edition

Old dude, it is time for the fiercest rivalry in the NCAA. This weekend is the 130th Bronze Turkey Bowl between Knox College and Monmouth College. Knox is of course the superior school, while Monmouth fails in just about every way possible. Don't send your kids to Monmouth, it would be like paying to see Journey.

That is bad. I didn't realize it had come that.

I have to educate people. That's what Knoxers do. Not that I'm biased, of course.

Of course. By the way, how did Knox do against Beloit earlier this year?

We shall not speak of that. I never look back, it distracts from the now. That's my Mindset. By the way, what happened to the Mindset List?

We shall not speak of that.

So we both have something to avoid. But now, watch me work!

Minnesota Golden Elite Rowers of the Boat (-8.5) vs. Illinois Fighting Illini. Have you seen Lovie Smith's luxurious beard? It's a sight to behold:

Woodland animals seek shelter there

So Lovie is clearly a humanitarian. But his Illini are an affront to humanity. Man, they stink! P.J. Fleck does not have a beard, but he's rowed his boat down to landlocked Champaign to get a win. I think the Gophers should win comfortably, as long as Lovie's beard doesn't distract them. Gophers 50, Illini 20.

Lovie may need some help from Thurston Howell III pretty soon. The Illini are a train wreck and while the Gophers are having ups and downs, they'll squash the Illini. Gophers 28, Illini 14.

Rutgers Scarlet Knights (+28) vs. Beloved Wisconsin Badgers. The Badgers have been a disappointment this year, but they still are not out of the hunt for a Big Ten title. Many, many things have to happen, but if the Badgers take care of business, they have a chance. Rutgers is not very good at football. Even the Illini beat them. And so did Kansas. We aren't sure about Lakeland Dental Academy; my guess is that the Rutgers athletic department had the good sense not to schedule the Fighting Floss. Even Alabama is afraid to schedule Lakeland Dental Academy, but that's because Nick Saban isn't known for his consumption of Pepsodent. Badgers 70, Rutgers 10.

Beating the spread, then? Yeah, I think they will. Rutgers is probably the worst D-1 school and while the Badgers are disappointing, they won't screw this one up. Badgers 38, Rutgers 7.

Monmouth Scots (NL) vs. Knox College Prairie Fire, Baby! This is, by far, the most important football game to be played on Saturday. At least in the Quad Cities/Peoria television market. If you have not spent time in the part of the country, you would struggle to appreciate the majesty of this rivalry, which features the serious scholars of Knox versus the drooling mouth-breathers of Monmouth. You already know who I'm going to pick. Knox 200, Monmouth -40.

Based on what I know about this rivalry, I'm not certain that Knox has scored 200 points in the aggregate over the 130-year history of butt whipping they've suffered at the hands of those mouth-breathing Journey fans 12 miles to the west. I can report that I have seen Monmouth lose a football game; they lost at Beloit in 1981, my freshman year. Since then, well... let's just say Monmouth has been romping and stomping throughout the Midwest Conference. And since your beloved Prairie Fire has spent most of its history as a welcome mat, it hasn't been good. Maybe next year, Seabiscuit. Monmouth 49, Knox 24.

Detroit LOLions (+8.5) vs. Minnesota Vikings. And now, time for a Very Special Comment. I promised you I would go after a local radio station last week. And it's true -- KTIS, you really need to play more Blue Oyster Cult. So what if it's not particularly Christian. Here's a start for your new playlist:

"We took you up and put you in the back seat/Dominance, submission, radios appear." What could be more wholesome. Obviously, I'm kidding. KTIS is just fine, as long as they lay off the Slayer. My real target is KFAN. I completely understand that they need to hype up the Vikings, but they really cost the Vikings last week. Whenever I listen to them, they portray the Vikings as an amazing team. It's true -- the Vikings aren't terrible. However, the rapture from Paul Allen is so over the top that the hosts that follow him are forced to clean up after him. I didn't get the sense that the Vikings treated the Saints with sufficient respect last week. And it cost them. Oh my, it cost them. Now come the Lions, the favorite team of KFAN personality Dan "Common Man" Cole. Last week, Common Man suggested this game would be for first place. As it happens, it won't be. It's high time KFAN decided to either be honest with its listeners or just drop the pretense and full-on cheerlead for the Vikings. Dominance, submission, radios appear. But not on the ol' Arbitron. Lions 31, Vikings 10.

I guess I didn't see that parlay coming. Common Man Cole is more of an Al Stewart man, anyway. As for the game, I think the Vikings had better win. Lions are kinda meh. This is a chance for the Vikings to get well. Or not. Vikings 27, Lions 24.

Bear Down Chicago Da Bearz Still Suck (-10) vs. Buffalo Bills. A certain California-based correspondent has informed us that da Bearz are back in first place. Not sure if he should call in to KFAN about it, but whatever. I think the Bears are one of the tougher outs in the NFC, but I'm not convinced they are elite just yet. My reason? The Bears are reliant on their running backs and their defense to keep them in games. Mitchell Trubisky has his moments, but he's still the weak sister quarterback in the division, to say nothing of a hypothetical playoff opponent. Lucky for Da Bearz that Buffalo is coming to town. They are likely to start Nathan Peterman, who is familiar to many Chicago-area fans as Jay Cutler's spiritual successor. This game is going to be hilarious. Nobody Circles the Wagons Like the Buffalo Bills 17, da Bearz 0.

Ya know, I suspect you're wrong about that, young fella. Let's leave it at that. Bears 28, Bills 13.

Glorious Green Bay Packers (+5) vs. New England Cheaters. If you are not excited about this quarterback matchup, apparently you've been avoiding the ESPN hype (which, oddly enough, is even more than my usual level of HYYYYYYYPPPPPPE!) The Packers played well enough to win last week, before Ty Montgomery lost his freaking mind! Can the Packers go into Gillette Stadium and win? Yes. Packers 31, Patriots 28.

Speaking of creepy:

I would like to think the Packers can win. Aaron Rodgers won't be afraid of the Patriots. But I'm not sure they can fix their defense on the fly now that they've sent Ha Ha Clinton-Dix away. If this game were two weeks later, yeah. But there's too many moving parts in Green Bay at the moment. Better days are ahead, but for today... Patriots 31, Packers 28.

Oh, D of little faith! I still believe! Ben out!

Benster and D Pick Your Games -- Inadvertent Rerun Edition

Right off the bat, I have to apologize. It turns out that Knox did not play last week, so I made the pick a week early and made Old Dude pick the game as well.

It was a brilliant pick for a game that never happened. But will tomorrow, right?

Yes, barring an epic mosquito invasion at Ripon.

In my experience, you're more likely to encounter weasels at Ripon.

Hey, I do the comedy around here, pal.

Well, why don't you, then?

Because I also have to provide the HYYYYYYPPPPPPE! as well. And sometimes that takes a lot of effort.

Those extra Ps are heavy, right?

Oh yes. And so you are you -- I've been carrying you for years. Watch me work!

Minnesota Elite Rowers of the Boat (+2.5) vs. Maryland Criminal Investigations. Maryland is in a weird spot right now, and I don't mean its proximity to Washington, DC. The Terps are dealing with the fallout of the death of one of their players, who died during an offseason workout. As of the writing of this post, it is possible that Maryland Coach D.J. Durkin could be fired. You hate to question the innocent players, but you have to wonder where their heads are going to be. The Gophers are about a year away from getting a lot better, but this is a game they should win. Gophers 20, Maryland 10.

Maryland is quite confusing. They beat Texas and lose to Temple. I don't know how that happens. Neither do they, apparently. I think they'll be angry tomorrow. And while anger doesn't always transform into effectiveness on the gridiron, the edge will be enough to send the Gophers home with a loss. Maryland 29, Gophers 20.

Knox Prairie Fire (NL) vs. Ripon College Redhawks. What's all this Redhawk stuff, lately? Okay, that part doesn't make sense in the current context. But we'll begin again. I was disappointed to see my beloved Fire stub their toes against Geritol Fan's beloved Beloit Buccaneers last week two weeks ago. This week the Fire go even further into Wisconsin to play Ripon. I always back Knox to do well. Knox 21, Ripon 0.

As an observer of Midwest Conference football for nearly 40 years, I can assure you of this -- if your beloved Fire cannot beat my feeble Bucs, you ain't beating Ripon. Ripon 34, Knox 14.

Beloved Wisconsin Badgers (-3) vs. Iowa Hawkeyes. Last week was one of the worst Badgers performances I have seen in a long, long time. It was. . . well, let's have a guest observer tell you:

He's right, you know. However, all is not lost. The Badgers can still get to the Rose Bowl, but they're going to have to earn it. Kinnick Stadium at night makes me very nervous. The Hawkeyes are a tough out no matter when you play them, but they are fearsome under the lights. It's time for the Badgers to respond to adversity. Wisconsin 31, Iowa 17.

It's going to be tough, but I will say this -- Iowa has really struggled to figure out the Badgers defense in recent years. They were historically bad last year at Camp Randall and I'm not certain they'll be a lot better this time around. Low scoring? Oh yeah. Badgers steal it late. Badgers 24, Hawkeyes 21.

Buffalo Bills (+16.5) vs. Minnesota Vikings. Vegas is telling you this, Vikings fans:

Oh, by the way, I guess that clip is NSFW, punk. The Bills are a joke. They have guys retiring at half-time and former Vikings head coach Leslie Frazier had his playbook yanked away by the head coach last week. The Bills are a professional football team. Or so we hear. Vikings 100, Bills 0.

Hmmm. You haven't made one of those absurd predictions in a while. I almost missed those. Meanwhile, we do have some tape of a recent Bills practice:

By the way, I don't question Dirty Harry. Vikings 31, Bills 10.

Glorious Green Bay Packers (-2.5) vs. Washington Endless Senatorial Hearings. The Packers had a narrow escape from defeat last week, thanks to the inability of the Vikings to kick field goals. The Vikings may have fixed that, but that's not our concern this week. The Redskins are scuffling and I expect there to be plenty of Green and Gold in the stands this weekend. The Packers need to play better defensively, but this should be a routine win. Packers 42, Redskins 10.

I don't think the Redskins are very good, either, but I'm not sure the Packers are going to go into Washington and score six touchdowns. I think it's actually going to be a tight game, but if it comes down to a field goal in the end, Mason Crosby won't miss this time. Packers 23, Redskins 20.

I was thinking about picking the Bears game, but I was worried the NFL would flag me for unnecessary sarcasm. Ben out!

Benster and D Pick Your Games -- Bears Still Suck Edition

After last Sunday, if you don't believe in miracles, why were you watching the Sunday Night Game?

Because who doesn't love the silky tones of Cris Collinsworth?

Seriously, old dude. What the hell is wrong with you?

There's not enough room in the blogosphere to chronicle that.

Good point. It looks like our man is going to play and we will discuss my impressions of the Vikings. All that and more HYYYYYYYYPPPPE than you can even imagine. Watch me work!

Miami University of Ohio Redhawks (+12.5) vs. Minnesota Elite Rowers of the Boat.  The Gophers had to hang for dear life against Fresno State, but thanks to the play of the year by Antoine Winfield, Jr., they were able to hold off the Bulldogs. So this week comes Miami of Ohio, a team with a glorious past but a meh present. The lead boat rower himself, one P.J. Fleck, knows how to beat MAC teams, as he had plenty of MAC-tion during his days at Western Michigan. The Gophers are still young and this is going to be a wake-up call. Redhawks 42, Gophers 17.

You're kidding, right? You have to be kidding. I don't see Ben Roethlisberger out there this week. And I sure the heck don't see Bo Schembechler, either. The Gophers are young but Miami is not the operation they were even 10 years ago. Even without Rodney Smith, the Gophers will win this game based on raw talent alone. Watch and see. Gophers 34, Miami 21.

Knox Prairie Fire (NL) vs. Ripon College Redhawks. What's all this Redhawk stuff, lately? I was disappointed to see my beloved Fire stub their toes against Geritol Fan's beloved Beloit Buccaneers last week. This week the Fire go even futher into Wisconsin to play Ripon. I always back Knox to do well. Knox 21, Ripon 0.

As an observer of Midwest Conference football for nearly 40 years, I can assure you of this -- if your beloved Fire cannot beat my feeble Bucs, you ain't beating Ripon. Ripon 34, Knox 14.

Brigham Young University Cougars (+22.5) vs. Beloved Wisconsin Badgers. BYU is a legit school. They also have a great history in football, in fact far greater than Miami of Ohio. The Badgers won comfortably last year in Provo, and I would expect a comfortable game, despite the fact that BYU is going to make plays. Bucky struggled early last week, but they righted the ship and put New Mexico away in the second half. What cheeses me off is that the Badgers were dropped in the rankings yet again, despite winning by over 30 points. I understand Oklahoma beat UCLA, but UCLA is down right now and that win isn't as impressive as it might have been, say, five years ago. This is just another example of how Wisconsin is held to a different standard than other schools. Maybe beating BYU will give the Badgers some respect. Badgers 45, BYU 20.

Bucky has some things to improve. The most important thing -- Jonathan Taylor needs to stop fumbling. It doesn't matter against New Mexico, but they can't have that against Iowa next week. As for this week, I think Bucky got the message and is going to curb stomp BYU. You want style points? You got style points. Badgers 59, BYU 10.

Seattle Seabags (+3.5) vs. Bear Down Chicago da Bearz. Oh, let's get this out of our system right away:

Yes, they really really really really really really suck. Yes, the Bears still suck. Khalil Mack looked like the freaking Grim Reaper in the first half last week, but in the second half he was a spectator at best, even though he was allegedly on the field. I'm going to be honest with you -- Matt Nagy should thank his lucky stars that Matt Patricia completely soiled the linens at Ford Field, because otherwise he'd be looking at a lot of pressure for the job he did in the second half. Da Bearz inexplicably played not to lose. Guess what? They lost! I thought that Doug Pedersen showed the value of keeping your foot on the throat of your opponent at all times. Apparently Nagy didn't peek at Pedersen's paper. Da Bearz have a lot to answer for concerning that. Now comes Russell Wilson. It's clear Seattle is down and this is a game the Bears should win. Will they? No, unless they stay aggressive and let Mitchell Trubisky win the game on his own. Seattle 24, da Bearz 7.

I dunno. I think the Packers won the game more than the Bears lost it, but your mileage may vary. Trubisky did look a bit rattled in the second half and it's not yet clear if that's just inexperience or more of an intractable problem. He was channeling his inner Brett Hundley too much and not keeping his eyes down the field. The Seahawks aren't the fearsome defense they used to be, but they still have some guys who can do damage. On the other side of the ball, Russell Wilson will pose similar challenges this week. I do think the Bears will win, but it's going to be close. Bears 28, Seahawks 24.

Minnesota Vikings (-1) vs. Glorious Green Bay Packers. It looks like, based on the line, that the wise guys in Vegas think Aaron Rodgers will not play on Sunday. However, reports indicate he will play. The Vikings won their game relatively comfortably against San Francisco last week, but Aaron Rodgers is not Jimmy Garappolo, even on one leg. Kirk Cousins has very little margin for error. The reason I say that is because he's getting paid superstar money, so he'd better play like a superstar. Cousins didn't do anything wrong last week, but he didn't do anything that made you say, "wow, the Vikings made a great investment". The Packers, on the other hand, had a narrow escape against da Bearz, but they won. You might have heard about it. Aaron Rodgers made plays that made you say, "wow." Everyone is saying the Packers are going to lose. What they forget about is  this -- the Packers defense made the right adjustments against the Bears and essentially shut them down in the second half. In particular, the rookie defensive backs turned Allen Robinson and Trey Burton into players who were largely invisible. The Packers are going to win this game because they are at home, and because Ty Montgomery is going to both pick up blitzes and tire out the Vikings linebackers. Packers 17, Vikings 10.

I loved what Mike Zimmer said about Aaron Rodgers, noting that he walks on water. That was a funny line. Zim had more to say as well:

Oops, I might have put the wrong video up there. Zim does speak highly of Bob Schnelker, though. Anyway, as for this game, I think Rodgers will give it a go. I also think the Vikings will dial up some pain. Put it this way -- I'm not particularly concerned about Anthony Barr, because the Packers will find him and block him. I'm quite concerned about Harrison Smith, though, who seems to get a free shot or two at the quarterback in every game. I think the Packers will also have difficulty covering Dalvin Cook. It will be close, but. . . Vikings 24, Packers 21.

You're wrong, old dude. But you knew that. Ben out!

Benster and D Pick Your Games -- 10 Years of Rank Stupidity and HYYYYYYYYPPPE! Edition

And then one day you find that, ten years have got behind you. That's Pink Floyd, Geritol Fan!

I'm mostly pink myself, but just a little blotchy.

That's okay. We've been at this for 10 years, old dude! When we began, I was not even a teenager. Now I am a college graduate. Hard to believe.

I know. I can't believe you got through college, either.

Hey now! I do the comedy around here.

Well, maybe you should start, then.

I'm keeping track, old dude. I'm counting up the eye-rolling picks and takes so hot the Surgeon General is informed! Laying it down. Bringing the HYYYYYYYYPPPPPE!

We'd missed that.

I know. So has our adoring public. So watch me work!

Fresno State Bulldogs (+1.5) vs. Minnesota Golden Elite Rowers of the Boat. It's Year Two of the P.J. Fleck Carnival Barking Brother Love's Salvation Show. Can I get a witness?

Sure, why wouldn't Gopher Nation be a bit skeptical? We've seen this show before:

Get that chili hot, boys! Okay, maybe the Elite Boat Rower isn't Basement Brew yet, but he's getting there. The Gophers did look good against Lakeland Dental Academy New Mexico State, but Fresno State is a the type of school you should never schedule as a non-conference opponent. They come to play and they are usually competitive. The Gophers are still young and this game has trap written all over it. Bulldogs 31, Sinking Boat 17.

We got a warning about this game fifty years ago now:

Some kind of innocence is
Measured out in years
You don't know what it's like
To listen to your fears

You can talk to me, P.J. Fresno State 27, Minnesota 23.

New Mexico Lobos (+35) vs. Beloved Wisconsin Badgers. The Badgers should have no issues with this game. New Mexico is not very good, even though they have former Domer Bob Davie as their head coach. It might as well be Gerry Faust in this case. Wisconsin 70, New Mexico 0.

Those poor Lobos:

They might recall the wheat fields of Saint Paul, but Camp Randall will be a killing field. Badgers roll. Wisconsin 34, New Mexico 3.

Knox College Prairie Fire, Baby! (NL) vs. Beloit College Buccaneers. This is the college football game you've all been waiting for. It's my beloved Prairie Fire against Old Dude's beloved Bucs! Historically, the two worst teams in the Midwest Conference battling it out for slightly less ineptitude! You already know who I'm going to pick, so we'll skip to the good part. Knox 21, Beloit 17.

Hard times for my beloved Bucs these days. They were 1-9 on merit last season and got their butts kicked last week by the 43rd best Concordia College team out there. It's grim at Strong Stadium. But you'd like to think they'd get their act together just this once. This is dumb, but... Beloit 41, Knox 34.

San Francisco 49ers (+6.5) vs. Minnesota Vikings. Vikings fans are very interested to see the debut of this guy:

You like that? I'm not sure. I do see the wisdom in getting Cousins, but the danger is that Cousins has not won a playoff game. Can he do better with a much better team around him? You'd like to think so, but he still hasn't done it. I think the 49ers are a year away from being a real contender; last year Jimmy Garappolo had a nice run against some really bad opponents. The Vikings are a much tougher out. I like the Vikings in this one, but next week's opponent will be another matter. Vikings 20, 49ers 16.

There's a lot on the line in this one, because expectations for the locals are off the charts right now. I really worry about that offensive line. Cousins is not known for being a scrambler or an improviser, so it will be something to watch. I don't think the 49ers will get to Cousins, but other opponents down the line are more capable. A season-long thing to watch. Vikings 28, 49ers 17.

Bear Down Chicago da Bearz (+7.5) vs. Glorious Green Bay Packers. How fitting is it that the Packers begin their 100th season playing their most ancient rival, da Bearz! So, the big news out of Chicago is that da Bearz added this:

Blow your horn!

Khalil Mack is a truck, all right. The key for the Packers has got to be holding up to give Aaron time to throw. I would not be surprised to see the Packers go high tempo early; it's worth remembering that Mack, for all his talent, held out all preseason, so you wonder if he's in football shape and how well he knows the playbook. He'll be a huge problem later on at Soldier Field, but we'll worry about that when we get there. I expect da Bearz will keep it close, but the Packers will make enough plays to win. Packers 28, da Bearz Still Suck 14.

Everyone is talking about how much of a problem Mr. Mack will be to Aaron Rodgers. I think the guy who has to be worried is Kirk Cousins, but I digress. My youthful colleague is correct; the Packers will try to run the Bears ragged in this game and make it an up-tempo game. I think they succeed. I also don't see the Bears having an answer for Jimmy Graham. Packers 31, Bears 21.

I'm glad to be back, baby! Enjoy your football this weekend and try to lay off the guacamole. Ben out!