Benster and D Pick Your Games----Vikings Super Bowl Parade Still On? Edition

 The Vikings played pretty well last week, and are now getting ready to visit the Niners this weekend with the Super Bowl parade very much on, according to the local media and the Vikings fans. Wait, the Giants won? But I was told that the Vikings were going all the way this year. That can't be right. Ed Donatell was going to be different here then he was in Green Bay, and wouldn't be the fall guy for a playoff loss. We Packers fans were told we had an agenda. But the Super Bowl champions gear was on sale at the Vikings Locker Room? You really hate to see it. In all honesty, the Vikings have nothing to be ashamed of, and if they make the right moves then they have a chance to be back.

Wait, you lay out the elaborate cheap shot, and then you pull the punch?

I'm trying to be a nice guy, old dude.

Since when?

Uh, the mid 90s? Also, why haven't the Packers followed the lead of the Vikings and canned Joe Barry as the yearly coordinator sacrifice?

Because our beloved Packers are dumb?

That may be the case. But never mind that -- I am feeling the HYYYPPPPEEEEEEEEEE! and ready to pick the best weekend of football all year, where the top seeds come out to protect their home field. Watch me work.

Jacksonville Jaguars (+9) vs. Kansas City Chiefs Just give Doug Pederson Coach of the Year right now. While it is fair to laugh at the Chargers for melting down, this Jags team showed a lot of character and heart last week down in Florida. Now they have to go to Arrowhead and deal with a Chiefs team that is experienced and rested after their bye week. What the Jags are going to need to do is to avoid the turnovers in the first half, as Patrick Mahomes and Andy Reid won't melt down. I'd also look for the Jags to make a play on special teams or defense to set up a touchdown early to try and quiet Arrowhead. But sadly, it won't be enough. Chiefs 38, Jaguars 21.

Somewhere out there, Jack Harry is no longer wondering what's wrong with the Chiefs. 

Things change after a decade. The Chiefs remain the team to beat in the AFC. And crusty old sportscasters fade away. Chiefs 42, Jaguars 27.

New York Giants (+7.5) vs. Philadelphia Eagles Jalen Hurts is going to be pretty healthy after the week off, and the Philly fans are going to be revved up after a long day of tailgating and will be even more annoying and intimidating than usual. The question I have for Philadelphia is this -- can their defense keep Daniel Jones in the pocket and limit his ability to pick up first downs. What really killed the Vikings was giving up those third and mediums, and not being able to get off the field. If the Giants can pick up four 3rd and 4-8 yard conversions throughout the game, then the Giants will win. If not, then the Eagles win. I think the Eagles will win that prop bet, and thus the game. Eagles 21, Giants 20.

Danny Dimes showed the world something last weekend. But now things are different. The Giants won't be intimidated, but their fun stops here. Eagles 31, Giants 17.

Cincinnati Bengals (+5.5) vs. Buffalo Bills So we obviously know what happened last time these two teams met, and thankfully Mr. Hamlin is doing incredibly well,  given what happened to him. I'm not a believer in the Bills. Look, they do have talent and certainly can win the Super Bowl. Lest we forget, this version of the Bills haven't reached the Super Bowl, and if I were the Bengals, I'd feel a little disrespected that people are overlooking the defending AFC champions. The Bills didn't impress me last week, especially given how they struggled against a Dolphins team without Tua. I just feel like Josh Allen hasn't taken the two last steps a quarterback needs to take to be truly elite. He hasn't won a road playoff game in his career, and the Bills have needed to get pieces to elevate him, and he hasn't elevated anyone else. The Bills defense also doesn't get the credit that they deserve at times. It's like going to a steakhouse where they advertise the steaks as the best thing on the menu, but the sides and desserts are the best thing on the menu and need to elevate a decently good steak into a meal that justifies the price and expectations you have. The Bills skill position players, front office, and  Sean McDermott are the sides and desserts. Josh Allen is the steak. He's decently good, but needs those other things on the plate to justify the meal. Joe Burrow has elevated the Bengals in just 3 years, and will show it on Sunday. Now I need to go get some steak. Bengals 45, Brett Hull Scored A Clean Goal 12.

Sounds like you're describing this old favorite:

We had one of those in Appleton and half my high school buddies worked there, along with the cute girl who lived next door to us. She did not appear in this commercial. As for the Bills, I'm not sure I agree with your assessment, but I do understand it. Josh Allen has to prove it. Will he? I think so. Buffalo 34, Cincinnati 31.

Dallas How Bout Them Cowboys (+4) vs. San Francisco 49ers If the Cowboys have sent Gisele's ex into retirement, that would be the first good thing they have done in a long time. The Niners didn't play great last week, but were able to have a dominant second half to win. To continue the steakhouse analogy, the Niners were able to take their three best cuts of steaks in their defense, Kyle Shanahan, and run game and have Christian McCaffery and Brock Purdy be the new wood fire grills and new seasoning mix that head chef John Lynch added as part of a remodel of the restaurant to add a new taste that can bring new customers in, while still offering the old standby options that long term regulars like. 

Wait, what?

That is probably the first time that anybody has made these comparisons, but I'm nothing if not unpredictable. 

No kidding.

The Cowboys do have one big concern on their West Coast road trip on a short week, and that is the kicking game. Brett Maher had a bad game. Because I love the steakhouse analogy now, he is the normally reliable automatic dishwasher in the kitchen that broke down, and the customers noticed it starting fairly early in the dinner rush. I think that the Niners will continue to use their winning formula, and the Cowboys will have another meltdown, and someone will be the scapegoat besides Jerruh Jones. Niners 56, Cowboys 21.

You shouldn't write these features when you're hungry, Seabiscuit. I think the 49ers are the best team on the NFC side, but I think we tend to let our animus regarding the Cowboys and their moronic fanbase color our judgements at times. The Cowboys are legit this year -- very good offense and a much improved defense. But on a short week against the 49ers, this is a tough assignment. San Francisco 31, Dallas 24.

I'm tempted to go get steak sometime soon, and never thought that I would compare NFL figures and teams to steakhouses. Hey, I've done stranger stuff in the past. Also, if you want to watch some good high school basketball this weekend, go to Prescott High School in Wisconsin on Saturday for the Border Battle. You'll thank me later. Ben out. 

Benster and D Pick Your Games----Packers Have Some Explaining To Do Edition

 You know it isn't good when I have some words for the Packers over last week. The Badgers are excused because they didn't fold at Spartan Stadium and lost because Sparty won it entirely on merit. And nobody on the team is excused from criticism.

Not around here. The Benster is a noted hanging judge.

Roy Bean had nothing on the Benster, except a better hat

Are you capable of cultural references that don't go back a half century?

Based on the available evidence, no.

Jeez, chug some Geritol, wouldya? Meanwhile the Gophers are facing what might be the most important road game of Fleck's tenure in Happy Valley against a Penn State team that is probably going to come out angry.

Whiteout at Beaver Stadium? That should be fun.

I am feeling the HYYYYYYYPPPEEEEE! and ready to pick some games. Watch me work.

Minnesota Golden Elite Rowers of the Boat (+5.5) vs. Penn State Nittany Lions So the Gophers aren't out of the picture in terms of getting to Indy, but last week was a discouraging game in Champaign. The big question is if both Tanner Morgan and Sean Clifford are going to play. Also of note is that the Gophers are going into the Whiteout tomorrow night, and Beaver Stadium turns from a very tough place to play to another level. I expect that both teams are going to be desperate, and while I can see the Gophers winning, I revert to the classic theory of this feature. When in doubt, go with the desperate team at home. And this game isn't downtown. Nittany Lions 28, Row Row Row Your Boat Elitely 21.

Gophers have a chance; they are a veteran team and they know how to play. Penn State is tough to beat under those circumstances. The psychology is key here. Fleck fancies himself a master psychologist, but he's not dealing with Mr. Carlin from the Bob Newhart Show here. Penn State 31, Minnesota 23.

Purdon't Spoilermakers (+1.5) vs. Beloved Wisconsin Badgers You can't blame last week on Allen's fumble, as there was plenty of plays that led to the result. Big credit to Graham Mertz for getting us to overtime. Purdue is a lot better than expected, but over the years they haven't beaten Wisconsin ever since Scott Starks forced the fateful fumble in Ross Ade in 2004. What the Badgers are going to need is a better performance from Mertz throughout the game, and to channel what we saw against Northwestern. Badgers 31, Spoilermakers 10.

Best chance Purdue has had in years, as you say. Won't matter. Badgers 34, Boilermakers 24.

Glorious Green Bay Packers (-4.5) vs. Washington Gridlocks So last week was the worst performance by a Packers team at Lambeau I have ever seen, and I attended a game where the quarterback matchup was Famous Jameis and Brett Hundley. But that will be for later for pacing reasons. Washington has been in the news for other reasons as Dan Snyder is somehow still an owner of a NFL franchise. When the Gridlocks are more corrupt than the federal government, you know that is bad. Taylor Heinicke will get the start, and I'm sure that the Gridlocks front seven will be looking to get some pressure on Aaron. This game is one that the Packers need, and they will get it. If they don't get it, I might have to do something that I really don't want to do. Packers 42, Gridlocks 0.

Something you really don't want to do? Being realistic? Packers are a mess right now. Either they are playing possum or the wheels have come off the wagon. Better get that Commanders line blocked or it's gonna be ugly. Packers 24, Washington Whatevers 21.

Bear Down Chicago Da Bearz Still Suck (+8) vs. New England Cheatriots Since the Vikings are on bye and the Vikings approved KFAN personalities like Dan Barreiro and Nordo will get a week off from getting the KFAN listeners to drink the false hope Kool-Aid, we can talk about the true archrival of the Packers. Da Bearz are still spinning their wheels, and Justin Fields has gone from the savior quarterback who would allow the Bears to run the North to another bust. It's almost like someone could have seen that coming. New England looks like they will get Mac Jones back for this game, but it's clear that the Patriots are deep in a rebuild. You really hate to see it. It's obvious by now that the Hoodie was carried by Gisele's husband, and can't win without cheating. If the NFL owners are so concerned with Dan Snyder's misdeeds, why is the Hoodie still allowed to coach? He has been caught breaking NFL rules multiple times, and Chicago will be checking for deflated footballs according to a news story that came out this week. This ain't NASCAR, where cheating seems to be encouraged. Why am I talking about NASCAR? I don't watch whomever can complete hundreds of circles faster in a car. New England should win, but it's time to kick the Hoodie out of the league if he's caught cheating again. Patriots 24, Bears Still Suck 0.

I actually wish the Bears well. It won't go well. Patriots 17, da Bearz 7.

And now, it's time for a Very Special Comment. You know things are bad for the Packers when I turned the stream off in the 4th quarter last week. This team is deeply flawed, and a couple of people deserve a ton of scrutiny.

Aaron, I love you. But you are holding the team hostage and still think that you can win the game by yourself like you could a few years ago. Father time is undefeated, and you need to trust the offense. Last week, I saw Aaron keep going for the downs every time instead of taking what was presented to him. You have two good running backs, and you don't need to carry the offense as much. Trust the playcalling, and take the short stuff. You have too much power on this team, and I'm worrying that you are turning into late stage Big Ben, where the Steelers didn't transition gracefully because they couldn't move past a franchise icon. It would also be good if you were easier on the rookies on the outside, and just let the offense come to you and pick your spots. You are a captain and leader, it is time to act like it.

I don't think that LaFleur is doing a good job in using his best weapons. Aaron Jones hasn't been getting a lot of touches, which considering he might be the best weapon we have on offense is a bad look. If you are considered this offensive guru like everyone says you are, adjust your playcalling. Run the ball more, and take the ball out of Aaron's hands for a bit. I expect more from you, and you've let me down last week. A head coach is supposed to get the most out of his talent, and he hasn't. The defense looks soft, and you need to tell the defensive coaches to tighten that crap out. In fact, you should consider stopping calling plays for a game to get more involved on defense. 

I said in January that 2021 might have been the last chance with this core. I wished that was wrong, but I was wrong. If this team misses the playoffs, it's time to consider everyone for replacement and rebuild. 

I agree 100% That's a first, I guess.

You're capable of learning, Old Dude! Who knew? Enjoy your football this weekend. Ben out.