The Vikings played pretty well last week, and are now getting ready to visit the Niners this weekend with the Super Bowl parade very much on, according to the local media and the Vikings fans. Wait, the Giants won? But I was told that the Vikings were going all the way this year. That can't be right. Ed Donatell was going to be different here then he was in Green Bay, and wouldn't be the fall guy for a playoff loss. We Packers fans were told we had an agenda. But the Super Bowl champions gear was on sale at the Vikings Locker Room? You really hate to see it. In all honesty, the Vikings have nothing to be ashamed of, and if they make the right moves then they have a chance to be back.
Wait, you lay out the elaborate cheap shot, and then you pull the punch?
I'm trying to be a nice guy, old dude.
Since when?
Uh, the mid 90s? Also, why haven't the Packers followed the lead of the Vikings and canned Joe Barry as the yearly coordinator sacrifice?
Because our beloved Packers are dumb?
That may be the case. But never mind that -- I am feeling the HYYYPPPPEEEEEEEEEE! and ready to pick the best weekend of football all year, where the top seeds come out to protect their home field. Watch me work.
Jacksonville Jaguars (+9) vs. Kansas City Chiefs Just give Doug Pederson Coach of the Year right now. While it is fair to laugh at the Chargers for melting down, this Jags team showed a lot of character and heart last week down in Florida. Now they have to go to Arrowhead and deal with a Chiefs team that is experienced and rested after their bye week. What the Jags are going to need to do is to avoid the turnovers in the first half, as Patrick Mahomes and Andy Reid won't melt down. I'd also look for the Jags to make a play on special teams or defense to set up a touchdown early to try and quiet Arrowhead. But sadly, it won't be enough. Chiefs 38, Jaguars 21.
Somewhere out there, Jack Harry is no longer wondering what's wrong with the Chiefs.
Things change after a decade. The Chiefs remain the team to beat in the AFC. And crusty old sportscasters fade away. Chiefs 42, Jaguars 27.
New York Giants (+7.5) vs. Philadelphia Eagles Jalen Hurts is going to be pretty healthy after the week off, and the Philly fans are going to be revved up after a long day of tailgating and will be even more annoying and intimidating than usual. The question I have for Philadelphia is this -- can their defense keep Daniel Jones in the pocket and limit his ability to pick up first downs. What really killed the Vikings was giving up those third and mediums, and not being able to get off the field. If the Giants can pick up four 3rd and 4-8 yard conversions throughout the game, then the Giants will win. If not, then the Eagles win. I think the Eagles will win that prop bet, and thus the game. Eagles 21, Giants 20.
Danny Dimes showed the world something last weekend. But now things are different. The Giants won't be intimidated, but their fun stops here. Eagles 31, Giants 17.
Cincinnati Bengals (+5.5) vs. Buffalo Bills So we obviously know what happened last time these two teams met, and thankfully Mr. Hamlin is doing incredibly well, given what happened to him. I'm not a believer in the Bills. Look, they do have talent and certainly can win the Super Bowl. Lest we forget, this version of the Bills haven't reached the Super Bowl, and if I were the Bengals, I'd feel a little disrespected that people are overlooking the defending AFC champions. The Bills didn't impress me last week, especially given how they struggled against a Dolphins team without Tua. I just feel like Josh Allen hasn't taken the two last steps a quarterback needs to take to be truly elite. He hasn't won a road playoff game in his career, and the Bills have needed to get pieces to elevate him, and he hasn't elevated anyone else. The Bills defense also doesn't get the credit that they deserve at times. It's like going to a steakhouse where they advertise the steaks as the best thing on the menu, but the sides and desserts are the best thing on the menu and need to elevate a decently good steak into a meal that justifies the price and expectations you have. The Bills skill position players, front office, and Sean McDermott are the sides and desserts. Josh Allen is the steak. He's decently good, but needs those other things on the plate to justify the meal. Joe Burrow has elevated the Bengals in just 3 years, and will show it on Sunday. Now I need to go get some steak. Bengals 45, Brett Hull Scored A Clean Goal 12.
Sounds like you're describing this old favorite:
We had one of those in Appleton and half my high school buddies worked there, along with the cute girl who lived next door to us. She did not appear in this commercial. As for the Bills, I'm not sure I agree with your assessment, but I do understand it. Josh Allen has to prove it. Will he? I think so. Buffalo 34, Cincinnati 31.
Dallas How Bout Them Cowboys (+4) vs. San Francisco 49ers If the Cowboys have sent Gisele's ex into retirement, that would be the first good thing they have done in a long time. The Niners didn't play great last week, but were able to have a dominant second half to win. To continue the steakhouse analogy, the Niners were able to take their three best cuts of steaks in their defense, Kyle Shanahan, and run game and have Christian McCaffery and Brock Purdy be the new wood fire grills and new seasoning mix that head chef John Lynch added as part of a remodel of the restaurant to add a new taste that can bring new customers in, while still offering the old standby options that long term regulars like.
Wait, what?
That is probably the first time that anybody has made these comparisons, but I'm nothing if not unpredictable.
No kidding.
The Cowboys do have one big concern on their West Coast road trip on a short week, and that is the kicking game. Brett Maher had a bad game. Because I love the steakhouse analogy now, he is the normally reliable automatic dishwasher in the kitchen that broke down, and the customers noticed it starting fairly early in the dinner rush. I think that the Niners will continue to use their winning formula, and the Cowboys will have another meltdown, and someone will be the scapegoat besides Jerruh Jones. Niners 56, Cowboys 21.
You shouldn't write these features when you're hungry, Seabiscuit. I think the 49ers are the best team on the NFC side, but I think we tend to let our animus regarding the Cowboys and their moronic fanbase color our judgements at times. The Cowboys are legit this year -- very good offense and a much improved defense. But on a short week against the 49ers, this is a tough assignment. San Francisco 31, Dallas 24.
I'm tempted to go get steak sometime soon, and never thought that I would compare NFL figures and teams to steakhouses. Hey, I've done stranger stuff in the past. Also, if you want to watch some good high school basketball this weekend, go to Prescott High School in Wisconsin on Saturday for the Border Battle. You'll thank me later. Ben out.
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