Friday, January 26, 2024

Benster and D Pick Your Games-----Joe Barry Is Finally Gone Edition

 Yes, I'm still here after what happened last weekend in the Bay Area. Bottom line is that there were mistakes made by the entire team, and as long as they don't waste this failure, they will be back. No need to do a Very Special Comment, since that would be unfair. 

This season turned out so much better than I could have expected. Yes, they kinda blew it against the Niners, but I see a path forward, especially because of something that happened later in the week.

The Packers also did the right thing by getting rid of Joe Barry. While the guy had some success down the stretch, the defense needed a new voice. Whoever that new voice is, I hope that he can bring success to the team.

Precisely the event I was referencing. Some of the apparent candidates are promising. Eager to see what happens. Meanwhile, football season continues, right?

That's right, Geritol Fan! I am feeling the HYYYYYYYYYPPPEEEEEEE! and ready to pick some games. Watch me work.

Taylor Swift The Eras Tour Live From Baltimore Kansas City Chiefs (+3.5) vs. Baltimore Ravens So this game is going to be an interesting one. After ripping the soul out of the Bills fans last week in Buffalo, the Chiefs are looking to get back to the Super Bowl. Oddly, we haven't seen a Mahomes/Lamar playoff meeting yet for whatever reason. The Ravens feel like a team that is very hungry for success and Lamar is having the type of run that will shatter all of the narratives about him. What is going to decide this is that the Ravens defense is a very physical one, and will contain the Chiefs. Also, look for Mahomes's weapons to let him down once again. Ravens 26, Chiefs 22.

Like this?

Forget the Boney Moronie, it's the Toney Moron-ey

That would be the appropriate scenario. Ravens have been on a mission all season. Lamar makes me nervous, but I think they get it done this time. Ravens 31, Chiefs 23.

Detroit LOLions (+7) vs. San Francisco 49ers The Niners did ride their luck last week against the Packers, but did make enough plays to win in the end, and it's fair to acknowledge that. Having Deebo Samuel be available for this game is a huge boost, as the Niner offense looked very shaky without him. There is a lot of pressure on the Niners to win this game to avoid not having a ring and for their front office to make some difficult decisions. But there is pressure on the Lions. They have yet to win a road playoff game since 1957, which is a long time ago. It goes without saying that this is the best chance the Lions have had to win a championship in most people's lifetimes, and with the rest of the NFC North getting better, who knows what the future holds. For the loser of this game, this will be one of those games that will be a tough one to lose. When in doubt, go for the desperate team at home. Niners 45, LOLions 23.

My guess is it will be closer than that, but I agree. The Lions have a tendency to do something inexplicable in big moments. They are absolutely stepping up in class as well. The 49ers can be beaten - there's no question of that. Whether the Lions will get it done is another matter. 49ers 28, Lions 24.

Enjoy your football this weekend. Ben out. 

Friday, January 19, 2024

Benster and D Pick Your Games-----LOL Cowboys, Cowboys Fans, And Skip Bayless Edition

I have one simple question to start. How Bout Them Cowboys? Seeing the Packers go into Jerry World and just lay waste to the Cowboys gave me vicarious joy. Oh, we are going to laugh at them later.

Why wait? Let's laugh at them now!

Jerrah and Dak are not happy


I have more to say, but that's a good start, although I'm surprised that Jerry Jones isn't using his giant forehead for advertising space. I also need to offer a sincere apology to the Packers. Earlier this year I called for everyone to be fired. I'm glad that I blew that take, and that's on me for being reactionary to a bad run. 

I don't know why things changed, but things have improved a lot in the ol' 54301.

I am feeling the HYYYYYYYYYYYYYPPPEEEE! and ready to pick some games. Watch me work.

Houston Texans (+9.5) vs. Baltimore Ravens The Texans had an equally impressive performance, and I feel like the DeMeco Ryans deserves to be named Coach of the Year. Houston has gone from being a terribly run organization to an organization that nailed their head coach hire, nailed finding the right quarterback, and seems to be steps ahead of where most thought they would be. But this won't be easy in Baltimore. The Ravens are arguably the most complete team in football, and Lamar really seems like a man on a mission to prove the doubters wrong, and I am not surprised that fellow Knox alum Todd Monken has done a great job in changing the offense to better suit Lamar's strengths. I like the Ravens to win a game that is going to be close into midway through the third quarter into a deceptive score. Ravens 35, Texans 17.

I really like Stroud and I believe he and Love will face each other next season, which should be fun. Baltimore will not be fun for the Texans, however. I think the Ravens are simply better top to bottom and will prevail. Ravens 31, Texans 23.

Glorious Green Bay Packers (+9.5) vs. San Francisco 49ers Last week was the best playoff performance the Packers had since the 2010 blowout against the Falcons. Nobody gave this young Packers team a chance, but they played almost a perfect game to be the first 7 seed to win a playoff game. But this won't be an easy trip to the Bay Area on a short week. The Niners have very good reason to believe that they are going to win the Super Bowl, and are going to be very healthy and rested after their bye. But I have been sensing a little bit of nerves among Niners fans. Kyle Shanahan and John Lynch have done a great job the past few years, no question. But they haven't broken through, and if this game gets tight late, there could be some doubts about if another playoff loss is coming. The Packers have nothing to lose. Even if they get blown out, this team has done way more than I could have fairly asked for, and the future is looking bright with more cap space coming. They won't get blown out. Packers 13, 49ers 10.

Oh, they could get blown out, but I don't think they will be, either. Having said that, it's going to take even more to beat the Niners than it did last week. Do they have enough, especially when stopping Christian McCaffrey is the assignment? 49ers 31, Packers 27.

Tampa Bay Bucs (+6) vs. Detroit LOLions Tampa deserves a ton of credit for rebounding after Gisele's ex finally retired. They have a defense that plays, and a win here would really be a strong Ewing Theory case study. I am happy for the Lions and their fans. I've made a lot of jokes about them in the past and am not a big fan of Dan Campbell as an in game coach, but they've validated the hype that they were given. This feels like the type of game that Baker really wants. He would love nothing more than to go to the Motor City and spoil the party. I think that Baker will do just that, with help from a Bucs defense that wants to remind everyone that they want to be remembered as winning a Lombardi trophy as the heart and soul of the team, not Gisele's ex. Bucs 28, LOLions 12.

I'm not sure if Tampa was impressive or if the Eagles were terrible last week, but if I had a guess I would go with the Eagles being terrible. Tampa is a good team but I can see the Lions figuring out how to stop him. This will be a fun game, but I see the Lions moving on. Lions 27, Bucs 20.

Taylor Swift's Football Era Kansas City Chiefs (+2) vs. Buffalo Steakhouse Analogy For the first time, Patrick Mahomes will be playing a true road playoff game. This is the first time that these two teams have played each other in the playoffs since the infamous 13 Seconds sequence two years ago. The Bills need this one, as Mahomes has been the guy who has ruined their playoff dreams in this current era of AFC football. If Buffalo doesn't win, then a lot of questions are going to be asked about the Bills and their core, coaching staff, and front office. When in doubt, pick the desperate team at home. Last time I checked, this game was in Buffalo. Nobody Circles The Wagons Like The Buffalo Bills 50, Too Many Chiefs Commercials 49.

This one will be flat-out hostile. Buffalo's inconsistency really troubles me, but this Chiefs team is not as good as previous editions. The elements will not be a factor, but I think the Bills break through as well. Bills 34, Chiefs 31. 


And now, it's time to dunk on the Cowboys. God, seeing the Cowboys get destroyed after all of the talking they did. All this talk about the Packers being an easy opponent, how they were going to end the curse now that Jimmy Johnson got in the Ring of Honor, all of Skip Brainless talking about how his Cowboys were going to dominate, and they come out like that? It's time to admit that even though the Cowboys may have dominated the Packers in the 1990s, that was against the historical trend. Skip, why don't you just admit that you hate the Packers because the Packers ruined your childhood during the Ice Bowl. Cry more. 

The best part is that Jerry decided to keep Mike McCarthy around. We warned you, Dallas. We told you that he needs high end talent to bail him out of trouble, and that he was a big reason why the Packers didn't get the second ring for Aaron. But you didn't listen, and are doubling down on him. Jerry once again has proven that he learned nothing from March of 1994. 

You want to know what advice I'd give to Jerry? Simple. He won't listen to this, but he has two options. The first one is to get him and Stephen away from football operations and let the professionals do their jobs. You want to know why the Yankees were so good in the 1990s-early 2000s? It's because Gene Michael and Buck Showalter were able to have the time they needed to fix the problems that George Steinbrenner caused with his constant meddling with the front office after he got banned from baseball. The second option I would tell Jerry is one that he would never do, but at this point should be considered. Sell the team. The Cowboys at this point aren't as much a football team but more a vanity brand for Jerry, and he ain't doing a good job as an owner. Even Cowboys fans agree. But Jerry won't sell the team. At this point, he's a liability as an owner, but nobody wants to admit it. I'm dead serious. Coaches and players have changed, but Jerry is the constant since the last time the Cowboys made the NFC title game. 

Enjoy your football this weekend. Also, if you are looking for something to do on Saturday the 20th, go to the Border Battle to watch some high school basketball. It's at Benilde St. Margaret's in St. Louis Park. You'll be glad you did. Ben out. 

Friday, January 12, 2024

Benster and D Pick Your Games-------Packers Haters In Shambles Edition

Remember when everyone said that the Packers were going to be going into the wilderness and that Jordan Love was going to be a massive bust? Pepperidge Farm remembers. 

Certain parts of the Upper Midwest are hotbeds of wishful thinking, especially where football is concerned. 

In other news, I wasn't fired by anyone nor am I announcing my retirement in what will be the craziest offseason of coaching changes that I have ever seen. 

Yeah, it's quite the coaching carousel this year. And the fun is just beginning.

I am feeling the HYYYYYYYYYPPPEEEEE! and ready to pick some games. Watch me work.

Cleveland Browns (-2) vs. Houston Texans Big credit to the Texans for being here. I always liked CJ Stroud at Ohio State, and he was able to help turn around a frankly awful Texans team into division champions. The Browns have been up and down all year, but somehow Joe Flacco was able to come out of the wilderness and take the Browns to January football. Don't forget that Flacco is a Super Bowl winning quarterback, which is something that few other teams have. The Browns have a defense that will play well, and are a sleeper team to watch. Don't be surprised if they make a deep run. Browns 21, Texans 10.

I sure enjoyed watching Stroud this year in the few chances I had to see him. The Texans are in their customary playoff spot - first game of Wild Card Weekend. They are at home. But the Browns are better. That's a sentence I haven't had to type in a long time. Browns 24, Texans 20.

Miami Dolphins (+4.5) vs. Taylor Swift Eras Tour Kansas City Chiefs This game shouldn't be on Peacock. It's not the NFL's fault that Comcast failed at creating a streaming service that nobody asked for, and whoever came up with this idea should be ashamed of themselves. Also, the weather in Kansas City is going to be awfully cold, and I wouldn't attend that game if you paid me. The Chiefs have issues with catching balls, and this is the type of weather that is going to cause drops. So while the Dolphins are going to be wishing that they could go back to South Beach, this is a game that they are going to win. The worst thing is that Mahomie has a contract that is going to be a big hinderance to keeping talent, and the Chiefs front office has to nail every pick in the draft going forward. Dolphins 60, Chiefs 34.

Somewhere a songstress is distressed:

Dammit, Benster!

Keep it up and she might write a song about you, pal. As for the game, I'm not buying what you're selling. Both of these teams are inconsistent, but the Chiefs have a track record of winning in Kansas City at this time of year. I suspect that continues, even though I have my misgivings. Chiefs 27, Dolphins 24.

Pittsburgh Yinzers (+9.5) vs. Buffalo 13 Seconds The Steelers being here amazes me, and can only be described as Mike Tomlin having some sort of luck modifier. The Steelers offense is a mess, no TJ Watt, and they win games thanks to their stars bailing them out after giving the Yinzers heart attacks every other week. But they got in, and that's all you can ask. This game is going to be in awful weather as well, and should be a good old fashioned rock fight. As for the Bills, it's clear that Sean McDermott needs to just let the Bills play. They have all the weapons, but for some reason there is something off about the Bills this year. Josh Allen needs this one, or there are going to be some uncomfortable questions asked about if the Bills core is the right one, or if their steakhouse menu needs to be changed. Never forget the steakhouse metaphor. Bills 7, Steelers 6.

It's more of a wings joint, but that's okay. Bills should win easily. It won't be easy. Bills 24, Steelers 20.

Glorious Green Bay Packers (+7) vs. Dallas How Bout Them Cowboys The Packers being here is the best coaching and management job that this organization has done in my time being a fan of the team. Jordan Love answered every single question asked of him and more, this team is young and only going to get better, and no matter what happens on Sunday this season has been a success by all reasonable metrics. The Cowboys have all of the pressure on them. If they don't make the NFC title game and end that drought, Jerry will make changes. I've sensed a little bit of nerves from Cowboys fans and their media enablers, but regardless this will require the Packers to play their best game of the year. But you know that I am a delusional homer and back the Packers no matter the odds. Packers 33, Cowboys 23.

About two months ago, we were ready to fire everyone. Things have changed pretty substantially and you do have to give credit to the Packers for sticking with their plan. The reward is probably going to be a short visit to the playoffs, but I like the Packers to make the Cowboys nervous. Cowboys 31, Packers 27.

Los Angeles Rams (+3) vs. Detroit LOLions The funny thing about this game is that Matthew Stafford will be playing quarterback at the first playoff game at Ford Field. Little did anyone guess that he will be making his return to Detroit as the visiting quarterback. The Lions are good, and deserved to win the division as they were the most consistent team in the NFC North. However, the next step is that they need to win a playoff game, and that has been a challenge. My issue with Dan Campbell is that while I get why he does things the way he does, his coaching style costs the Lions at times. People want to complain about the Cowboys ending a couple weeks ago, but Campbell left points on the board by being aggressive, and that is going to come back to haunt him against a team in the Rams that have a Super Bowl pedigree and are looking to spoil the Lions getting their moment. Oh well, you at least have Michigan? Rams 21, LOLions Gonna LOLions 0.

It's easy to forget the Rams won the Super Bowl fairly recently. They have done a nice job of retooling and this will be a tough one for the Lions. But I do think they have it in them to win. Lions 35, Rams 28.

Philadelphia Eagles (-3) vs. Tampa Bay Bucs Honestly, the Eagles are looking like the Phillies last fall. If you remember, the Phillies were talking a lot of stuff about how they were going to overcome losing the World Series, and ended up losing to a D-Backs team that was young and hungry after a collapse that looks obvious in hindsight but was ignored by the baseball community. The Eagles collapse is real, and honestly I think that this team can't fight their way out of trouble. The Bucs are hungry, and are a team that I feel is getting overlooked. They have a quarterback in Baker Mayfield who is looking to prove the doubters wrong, a defense that will play well on any stage, and are looking to prove that they didn't win their ring by just getting Gisele's ex and his merry band of football mercenaries who all somehow fit under the salary cap. Bucs 40, Die Eagles Die 0.

The Eagles are talented but dysfunctional. The Bucs are limited but organized. I tend to agree with your assessment, if not your score. Bucs 24, Eagles 19.

Enjoy your football this weekend. Ben out. 

Friday, January 05, 2024

Benster and D Pick Your Games----LOL SEC Edition

After ESPN and the CFP hyped up Alabama for a month like nobody's business, the SEC won't have a team in the title game? You know I am going to enjoy dropping some truths that the SEC won't want you to hear.

You better watch out, you'd better not cry. Bensterman is coming to town!.

Meanwhile, the Packers have a chance to get into the playoffs by beating the Bears.

Always a pleasure when accomplished.

I am feeling the HYYYYYYYYPPPEEEEEE! and ready to pick some games. Watch me work.

Washington Huskies (+4.5) vs. Michigan Sign Stealers, in Houston Ah yes, no SEC in sight for once. The real winner of this game no matter what is going to be the Big Ten, who will get a rematch next season and the ability to claim that the national champion is in their conference next year. Michigan didn't look great, but were able to get past Alabama. Washington is a team that I love. They are well-coached, play very well, and are untainted by scandal. Regardless of what happens, this game is going to be a lot of fun and should be at the level of the 2006 Rose Bowl. Huskies 38, Jim Harbaugh Can't Win On A Level Playing Field 33.

Do we need to hear it again?



Few things are more majestic and yet more annoying. And the off-color version they sing in Madison is pretty amusing, too. As for the game, I think it will be a classic. Michigan is not a big muscle-bound group; they have superior athletes all over the field. But I have to say that Michael Penix is something else. He's going to play on Sundays and play very well. Washington 28, Michigan 27.

Minnesota Vikings (+3.5) vs. Detroit LOLions Oh my, the locals are not happy about what happened to the Vikings. When JJ got shut down by Joe Barry of all defensive coordinators, you know that you have issues. Now the Vikings are going to need an absolute miracle to make the playoffs, and could see the Packers make the playoffs in a rebuilding year. The LOLions need to get over what happened last week. Regardless of what you think about the refs, the Lions made a number of bad coaching decisions and let the Cowboys stick around to win it late. Dan Campbell may have done a great job getting the Lions their division title, but he still makes questionable decisions in games and is using the refs as a scapegoat to cover for his own flaws. He's not a first year coach, and those types of decisions could haunt them down the line. How a tough minded city like Detroit gives him a pass for his excuses is beyond me, but it's not my problem. Even if the Lions rest some starters, the Vikings are going to have a tough time winning in Detroit. Lions 24, Vikings 14.

The Lions won't rest their starters. I don't think the Vikings will phone it in, either, but the team I saw on Sunday was not impressive. Vikings fans can't have nice things after all. Lions 31, Vikings 20.


Bear Down Chicago Da Bearz Still Suck (+3) vs. Glorious Green Bay Packers Last week was a great performance by the Packers. They did a lot of things right, and just need to win one more game against the Bears to win, and are getting healthier for once. But this won't be easy. The Bears have been playing better, are playing for jobs, and they remember getting blown out all the way back in Week 1. Also, the Bears always play the Packers tough given the nature of the rivalry. If the Packers can keep doing what they have been doing, then I like their chances. Even if disaster strikes, the future looks a lot brighter. Packers 28, Bears Still Suck 17.

Jordan Love looks like the real deal. He's played very well down the stretch and the young receivers and tight ends wearing green and gold are varied and impressive. The Bears are getting a lot of, well, hype this week. I think they are improving and with the fortification of a million high draft picks in the spring, I think they'll be a problem. But in the end, rivalry ownership remains closer to the 45th parallel. Packers 27, Bears 20.

And now, it's time to laugh at the SEC. 

Here's a bitter face to begin the festivities:

I'm a very unhappy man with an enormous forehead


Don't post pictures like that, old dude - you're going to scare away the paying audience.

Wait - you're getting paid?

If you keep interrupting, you're gonna pay, all right. Ahem. After all of the hyping up ESPN did about how the SEC is a beast, how they are the greatest conference, and how Oklahoma and Texas are going to be such a great fit, it turns out that you won't have any schools in your 2024 lineup in the national title game being held in SEC country. You really hate to see it. The Big Ten is laughing in their offices in suburban Chicago. It turns out that Alabama didn't deserve to be there, and don't forget that the Big Ten makes more money than you do, even with you adding Texas and Oklahoma. The Big Ten is adding cable subscribers at the in-market rate in California, Washington, and Oregon. You are only adding in market rate subscribers in Oklahoma. The Big Ten makes 9 million dollars more than you do per school, and will get to go to the media rights well before you do thanks to you waiting until 2034 to redo your big shiny ESPN deal. The Big Ten has a minimum of 3 games on network television every single Saturday, and the top 3 games that the conference offers have a defined timeslot. You threw away the SEC on CBS 2:30 timeslot. When is your best game going to air? The Big Ten is a national conference. You are a regional conference in the Southeast. When the Big Ten increases their lead on you in the financial arms race, I'd worry about losing your top brands. The alarm clock is ticking, Greg Sankey. I suggest you answer it. But you won't do that. Instead, you will have ESPN and the SEC fanboys continue to be yes men while you ignore that college sports is changing and your cycle of dominance may be coming to an end. 

Enjoy your football this weekend. Ben out.