Benster and D Pick Your Games----It's The Super Bowl Edition

 Fun fact, I think that the Super Bowl pregame show has already started. There is way too much of the pregame show. At least have the last hour be just focused on football. 

Especially since there's at least one 15-minute segment dedicated to Stan Kroenke's beauty tips.

Pretty Vacant

Old dude, that's just not right.

Ugly is as ugly does, grasshopper.

What do you expect from the guy who puts the arse in Arsenal? Anyway, it's the first time I can recall a Super Bowl in which the two teams playing both lost to the Packers in the regular season.

That's interesting, but is it relevant?

It's irritating. And it is what it is. Green Bay has nobody to blame but ourselves for this. 

I hope they're not blaming us!

You know what I mean. Anyway, I am feeling the HYYYYYYYYYPPPEEEE! and it is time to watch me work.

Los Angeles Rams (-4) vs. Cincinnati Bengals The Rams getting here isn't a big surprise, and they get to have a sort of Hollywood ending if they win, and maybe could win the heart of LA in the same way that the Fakers and Dodgers have. The Bengals on the other hand are a huge surprise. Honestly, it's been the most impressive playoff run since the 2008 Cardinals when you consider that the Bengals were the underdogs in all of their playoff games. I don't want to hear about the Chiefs and Titans choking, the Bengals won those games on their own merits. I don't hate either of these teams, and at least Tom Brady isn't in this game for once. What I think the key is going to be is how the Bengals respond to the crowd noise. Now, I know what you are thinking. You might be saying to yourself that the Rams get outnumbered by the visiting fans a lot. Yes, but this isn't going to be a normal NFL crowd in LA. There are going to be a lot of the corporate types who are just there for the swag, instead of the real fans who actually contribute to the atmosphere. The Bengals are used to playing in front of a more hardcore crowd in these playoffs. Someone is going to end a title drought, and that's at least something positive. Bungals No More 28, Rams 21. 

I would like the Bengals to win, if only to remind people of this guy, an important figure in Bengals and NFL history:

You get both sides of the argument in this video that the NFL apparently won't let us post, but I saw Ken Anderson play and he was one of the best quarterbacks of his era. He should be there. As for tomorrow, it's possible that Joe Burrow is the best quarterback the Bengals have had since Ken Anderson, although Boomer Esiason and Carson Palmer were no slouches, either. The Bengals are built to win and should have a puncher's chance to do it, but I think, overall, the Rams are a better team. And I see Aaron Donald making a huge play late to win the game for the Rams. Rams 34, Bengals 29.

Thanks so much for reading this year, and for all the comments I got. Even those that called me out. Enjoy your football this weekend. Ben out.

Benster and D Pick Your Games---Super Bowl Mercenary Bucs Edition

 Yes, I'm still here, and not bitter at all about the NFC Championship Game. Life goes on, and we can talk about the Super Bowl. 

Well, I'm bitter. But there's not much to be done about it now, so yeah, on with the Superb Owl. And let's have some halftime entertainment!

That ain't The Weeknd, old dude. And I've never seen so many rugby shirts in my life, by the way.

Nah, it's Up With People, as compared to most Super Bowl halftime shows these days, which are usually Up Yours.

Left Shark does not approve. 

But anyway, back to the game. The one thing that is clear for me is that 99% of America is rooting for the Chiefs. The only people rooting for the Bucs are Bucs fans, Brady bandwagon fans that followed him from the Patriots, and AFC West rivals. I'm not one of those three groups of people. I never have rooted for the Bucs, I don't like Brady, and I root for the Packers, who last I checked play in the NFC North. 

A useful sorting out, Grasshopper. Very well done. By the way, what are you feeling?

I am still feeling the HYYYYYYPPPEEEEE!, and it is time to watch me work.

Kansas City Chiefs (-3) vs. Tampa Bay Bucs The Chiefs are back to defend their title and return to face a Bucs team that they beat in this very stadium in late November. It must be acknowledged that the Bucs have a huge advantage in not being able to travel, and will make history as the first team to play a Super Bowl in their home stadium. My big question is how in the world did the Bucs get so many mercenaries under the salary cap? It's like they were borrowing tips from the Saints. Tampa has a lot of unlikeable people on their roster. Brady is a proven cheater thanks to Deflategate, and was part of Patriots teams that was caught breaking NFL rules multiple times. AB is the dictionary definition of a diva wideout and is one of the few players I never want the Packers to sign or trade for. Suh is a dirty player, and Gronk just annoys me with his frat bro stuff. Yeah, I know that Tyreek Hill has his own legal troubles, but the Bucs have far more people who football fans can find easy to hate. The Chiefs will have a healthier Patrick Mahomes. Sorry Patrick, you are not the MVP of the league. The MVP wears 12 and plays for Green Bay. The Chiefs have more experience than the Bucs, and should be the first team to repeat since the Patriots back during their first dynasty. I also love how explosive the Chiefs can be on offense, and they have a better defense than people think. Chiefs 35, Mercenary Bucs 21.

That's all spot-on. The Chiefs can deal destruction in multiple ways and in Mahomes they have a quarterback for the ages. Brady has done amazing things in his career and he was just barely good enough to beat a Packers team that went moronic at the worst possible time. The Chiefs are simply a better team, top to bottom. Bet the chalk and take the points. Kansas City 34, Tampa Bay 26.

Enjoy your football this weekend, and thanks for reading this feature all season long. Until September, Ben out. 

Benster and D Pick Your Games----Aaron Gets What He Wanted Edition

 Old dude, the Packers don't have to travel for the NFC Championship Game for once. This time, a team has to come to Lambeau in the snow. 

Yes. Here's a picture of Tom Brady arriving at Austin Straubel Airport for the game with some of his teammates:

Indeed, Geritol Fan, it is Tom Brady and his band of mercenaries who have to come up to the proving ground of the NFL.

Indeed. And let me guess -- might there be some, uh, hype involved.

You've been part of this for at least ten years. You know the answer. Of course I am feeling HYYYYYYPPPEEEEEEEE!, and it is time to watch me work.

Tompa Bay Bucs (+3.5) vs. Glorious Green Bay Packers Some people say that Aaron Donald is still getting blocked by Elgton Jenkins to this very day. In all seriousness, that was a great performance by the Packers to beat a very good Rams defense, and earn a rematch against the Bucs. Obviously, we all know what happened in October, but that was a long time ago. Yes, I know that the Bucs are healthier on defense, but it is important to note that the Packers have played a lot better on defense. What is especially encouraging is that the Packers have had success against teams that run the football well. The Packers shut down in consecutive games Derrick Henry, David Montgomery, and Cam Akers to a large extent. It's also important to note that Allen Lazard did not play in October down in Florida, and he had a great game against the Rams even with the drop of a touchdown pass earlier in the game. This game will not be easy, as the Bucs play good defense and we all know that Brady is used to this stage. But I like the Packers to move on in a close game and send the Bucs back home without a home Super Bowl. Packers 24, Bucs 21.

At first, I hated this matchup. But as the week has gone on, I feel better about it. Brady was only okay against the Saints last week and that was in a dome. It will be snowy and windy in Green Bay and it's been noticeable that Brady struggles with long horizontal throws. I think there's a pick six coming on Sunday. Meanwhile, the Packers have had a chance to devise a game plan for Devin White and Lavonte David, who destroyed them last time. Don't let White come downhill; make him chase Robert Tonyan all over the field. Bucs will not go down easily, but they will go down. Packers 33, Tampa 24.

Buffalo Bills (+3.5) vs. Kansas City Chiefs Kansas City dodged a major bullet last week, thanks to Chad Henne playing well in relief of a concussed Patrick Mahomes. Mahomes has been cleared to return to action, and obviously tilts the field in favor of the defending champions. However, the Bills have been playing very well lately and did play the Chiefs close in the regular season. Kansas City throughout their run the past few years have had wins that were aided by a bit of fortune. Last year they survived 3 double digit deficits, and last week Dan Sorensen should have been flagged for a hit to the head on the controversial fumble late in the first half. I have nothing against the Chiefs, but those points have to be acknowledged. In fact, I think the Bills can hang in there, and pull off a major upset. Nobody Circles The Wagons Like The Buffalo Bills 35, Chiefs 34.

I was tempted to pick Buffalo, but we do need to disagree on one. Mahomes may not be 100%, but 85% of Mahomes is better than 95% of the league. Buffalo's weak running game will prevent the Bills from holding a lead should they get one. It'll be a shootout, but I like the Chiefs. Kansas City 38, Buffalo 28.

One question, old dude. Did our buddy Brad Carlson pick games this week?

Yes. Yes he did. You can see his picks here.

Enjoy your football weekend. Ben out. 

Lightning Round -- 020419

Freezing rain this morning. Yes, it's about 55 degrees warmer than it was a few days ago, but Mother Nature is still trying to kill us. So shake down the thunder:

• The Super Bowl was dull. Just about everyone (with a few exceptions) is tired of the New England Patriots, but it must be said -- they cracked the code on the Rams. Considering half the league is either already planning to, or will begin shortly, emulating the Rams, Bill Belichick's master class will make things interesting for next season. I hope Matt LaFleur was watching closely in Green Bay.
• Ralph Northam now says that yearbook photo of his isn't him, although he did pick out all the other images on his page. It's bad enough to be a racist and a ghoul, but being an unskilled liar takes things up a notch. My next prediction -- Northam will reveal he is actually Bill Clinton's half-brother.
• Super Bowl ads were mostly meh, but the jarring one was the "wait, what?" appearance of Andy Warhol, dead 32 years now, as a pitchman for Burger King. I'm eagerly waiting for the Picasso endorsement of Culver's and the inevitable pairing of Jackson Pollock and Jack in the Box. This one has Top Ten List potential, although having Frida Kahlo saying "Yo quiero Taco Bell" might be beyond the pale.
• By the way, pitchers and catchers report in less than two weeks.

Benster and Pick Your Games -- Super Bowl LIII Edition

Old dude, 17 years ago today the Patriots beat the Rams to start their road to becoming a hated sports team that can't win without cheating. It's also the first Super Bowl I remember watching.

I remember Super Bowl V. Which was a bad game. Most of them were bad until the 1980s, actually.

I think everyone can agree that New England has been around too long, and some diversity in teams would be great.

Sure, but that requires the other AFC teams to get better. Other than Pittsburgh, and the Colts under Peyton Manning, has anyone been equal to that task? And is that Brady and Belichick's fault?

No, but let's be honest, Geritol Fan -- we're tired of these dudes.

Yeah, but it's been amazing to watch.

Maybe it's over, though. Maybe today. Watch me work!

New England Cheatriots (-2.5) vs. Los Angeles Rams. It's eerie how circular this game is compared to Super Bowl XXXVI. The Patriots are playing the role as favorite and the dynasty talk will be secured further with a win. The Rams have faced a long road back and are starting a young quarterback who nobody seems to trust outside of Hollywood. If that sounds familiar, it does echo back to 2002. The key to this game is going to be the first two full possessions of the second quarter. That sounds random, but hear me out. New England's experience in Super Bowls is that they do not start fast, but play better once they get settled in. I expect the Rams know this, and they tend to play better as the game goes on. Whomever plays better on the first two possessions of the second quarter should win. I think the Rams are a dangerous team and they are too flexible. Rams 35, Patriots 29.

This Patriots team is flawed, but they are playing very well right now. The underrated part of New England's dynasty is how they've been consistently able to take away what their opponents do best. The Rams present a different challenge, though, because the thing they do best, surprisingly, is on defense. Aaron Donald is again the Defensive Player of the Year and he's the closest thing to an unstoppable defensive lineman I've ever seen. And his partner in crime Ndamukong "Hong Kong Dirty" Suh has been lights out for the last month. Tom Brady rarely has to face a team that can get pressure right up the middle quickly, but that's what the Rams will do. The Patriot O-line is good, but it's strength is on the edges, not up the middle. That's the question today -- can Tom Brady win the game if Donald and Suh can put him on his back consistently? If they can, chalk up another Lombardi Trophy for the Pats. I say. . . Patriots 31, Rams 27.

So the Old Dude disagrees with me yet again. I shake my head. And don't worry, I'm sure there will be plenty of HYYYYYYPPPPPPE! in the pre-game show, which began last Wednesday, I think. Ben out!

Lightning Round - 020518

Not much time this morning, so here we go:

• The Nunes memo wasn't a dud, but it wasn't a bombshell, either. I am assuming there will be subsequent documentation of the claims made and that we'll hear things that are even more alarming when the Inspector General's report comes out. I am simultaneously amused and alarmed that the FBI apparently considers Yahoo News a credible source of information. Seems like one weird trick to me.
• It was a good Super Bowl, but with more than a little bit of strangeness to it. Tom Brady is a warrior, but it became evident that the Patriots weren't able to "do your job," as they famously claim, especially on defense. No one patches things up better than the Patriots, but I saw mostly a bunch of guys on their defense and the Eagles were able to exploit that. I'll be highly curious to see what happens to Nick Foles now that he's a Super Bowl MVP. Carson Wentz is their quarterback, but Foles was a much more important backup than, say, Jeff Hostetler. 
• The halftime show from Justin Timberlake was kinda all over the place, but the highlight for us was the presence of the University of Minnesota Marching Band in the middle of it, with two former Irondale Marching Knights on the field. Very, very cool.
• The Super Bowl ads were preachy and tendentious. Tell me why I should buy your product. Your commitment to social justice gives me no guidance as to whether your 4G network matches the competition. Sheesh.
• I'll be curious to see how the final financials break out on the Super Bowl from a local perspective. My sense is that things were so expensive that a lot of people who live here stayed away. Couple that with the difficulty of getting downtown at all and I was never seriously tempted to go any further south than Larpenteur Avenue all weekend. 

Benster And D Pick Your Game -- Bold North Edition

Old dude, this might be the closest some Vikings fans have gotten to a Lombardi trophy.

It's in the same state and you can see it. Yes, I suspect you're right.

I hope you are avoiding the crazies downtown.

Put it this way -- I do not anticipate crossing Larpenteur Avenue until Monday. It's really not that bad here, because the fashionable people don't come to the northern suburbs. If you can't get a reservation at Meritage, you don't go to Applebee's in Northtown.

Well, you don't either, Geritol Fan!

True. Although some of the swells ought to try out our friends at Bistro La Roux.

If the Saints had won, they'd be there for sure. I sure liked my po' boy there.

Before this turns into a restaurant review piece, we ought to turn our attention to the Super Bowl.

Good point! That Metamucil buzz must be wearing off for you! This could be the continuation of the Patriots and their dynasty deal with the devil, or will the Eagles finally end years of frustration and break through?

And will they need to grease the poles in Philly again?

We will discuss that and more. I'm feeling the HYYYYYYYYYYYYPPPEE!, and am ready to watch me work.

Philadelphia Eagles (+4) vs. New England Patriots, in Minneapolis. The Patriots were expected to come to Minnesota and defend their crown. The Eagles were given no respect after Carson Wentz went down, but Nick Foles and their defense decided to prove the doubters wrong. I personally am sick and tired of the Patriots, but not because they have ruined my team's chances to win. The reason I am sick and tired of New England is that they seem to win by employing people who have done things that are fast and loose in terms of fair play and screwing over other teams, and their fans seem to treat them like they are the victims. Tom Brady may be the best quarterback of all time, but he certainly has been dogged by questions about inflation of footballs and was on the team during Spygate, and may have had some of his success come from information he should not have had. Bill Belichick has certainly been a great coach, but we easily forget that he quit on the New York Jets after 1 day as their head coach after the Jets gave him a second chance to be an NFL head coach, as detailed here. It is a shame that instead of celebrating the Patriots success, they have made themselves into villains because of things like Spygate and Deflategate, missteps that were of their own doing. I would love to see the Eagles win, and I think they can. The Patriots under Kraft, Belichick, and Brady have played tight Super Bowls and never have blown any team out. The Eagles have a great defense and Nick Foles made plays against a much better defense in the NFC Championship game. I think New England has an excellent shot to win, but I feel that the Eagles will have the will to win in order to make their critics have to call them Super Bowl champions. Eagles 27, Patriots 21. (In OT)

I don't have any great love for the Eagles, but as a team and organization they aren't all that loathsome. Their Milwall-style fan base makes it more difficult to get with them, too. But the Eagles fans aren't on the field. Can the Eagles win? I think they can, too. Will they, though? Not so sure. The Patriots win because they are, invariably, stronger at the moment of truth. That's what happened last year. The Falcons couldn't close the deal, even though they were dominating the game most of the way. You have to beat the Patriots for 60 minutes, or more. Can the Eagles do that with Nick Foles at the helm? Yes, but that's not the way to pick it. Patriots 34, Eagles 31.
I probably won't be welcome in Foxboro, but as a Packers fan I can always point out that we beat New England straight up in Super Bowl XXXI to cement the 1996 Packers as one of the best teams to ever win a championship. Thank you for reading us this season. Until next fall, Ben out!

Super Bowl

Quickly:

• The game felt eerily familiar, as New England turned things around completely. Momentum is a real thing in a football game and it seemed as though Atlanta lost their nerve at the end. Did they choke? I'm not sure of that, but they weren't aggressive enough in the 4th Quarter. One field goal would have iced the thing.
• Lady Gaga's show was fine. Better than Beyonce and Katy Perry, but not as good as Bruno Mars. I'm glad the Super Bowl has stopped bringing out the geriatric rockers of my youth -- the halftime show The Who put on a few years back was cringeworthy. Since I don't generally partake of Top 40 radio, I was surprised at how many of Gaga's songs I recognized.
• Generally, the ads weren't all that interesting. Our friend R. A. Crankbait made a smart observation on social media yesterday -- the ad for Honda featuring talking high school yearbook photos was clever and well executed, but did it really have anything to do with buying a Honda? That's the problem with many Super Bowl ads -- cleverness for its own sake does not move the merch. It also appears that something called 84 Lumber decided to make a political statement, but it didn't make much sense, either as an ad or as a strategy. In a divided nation, why cheese off half your potential clientele, especially when you don't yet have nationwide reach? The closest 84 Lumber location I can find is in Gurnee, Illinois, which is north of Chicago. Dumb ad, dumb strategy.
• The circus comes to town next year. Get ready.

Benster and D Pick Your Games -- Super Bowl LI Edition

Old dude, it is time to see which set of players is ready to feel the HYYYYYYYYPPPPEE of getting to celebrate and see their pretty faces on the big screen.

Have you seen those big screens? The one at the Vikings stadium makes each drop of sweat look like a small pond.

No it doesn't. And remember, outrageous statements are my department. It is the Super Bowl, and maybe this year we will actually have a good game and halftime show, unlike last year which was a very boring game.

I agree with that. The best part of last year was seeing Cam Newton look like Max Headroom after the game:

I'm not sure what you mean, but then again I wasn't around in the 80s. Usually you just show me those weird music videos. So anyway, what does this Max Headroom guy look like, anyway?







Like Cam, if Cam were a computer simulation, which I think he was for several weeks this season:

You continue to astound me with your Geritol flashbacks, old dude. Is that what happens when you start mainlining the Metamucil?

I guess so, but it's been a long time since those days. Just be glad I didn't post any of those videos.




I am. I guess maybe this year could be different. It is time to talk some football and it is time to watch me work.

New England Patriots (-3) vs. Hotlanta Falcons, in Houston. So, seeing New England back in the Super Bowl is not a huge surprise, because they clearly were the best team in the AFC. Atlanta though is a bigger surprise, though they did romp all over my Packers to get their ticket to Houston. It almost seems like New England is going to win, and that they can extend their dynasty. Well, not so fast. The Patriots have not been challenged in a while, and the danger I see is that Tom Brady might be too motivated by wanting to make the Roger "No Fun Allowed" Goodell hand him the trophy. Matt Ryan has the chance to prove that he really is at that top level of quarterbacks by getting a ring, but he is going to need at least 175 total yards of offense to come from his running backs. I expect Atlanta to pull an upset that will deflate New England fans all over the country, and Brady will never get blamed for another failure in a big game because Patriots fans never want to admit that Brady has flaws. Hotlanta 31, Shouldn't Dynasties Not Go A Decade Between Titles? 27.

Is that a rhetorical question? Wait, don't answer that. I definitely think Atlanta could win this game. They have an explosive offense and, generally speaking, they are difficult to stop. The genius of Belichick is his ability to take away something the opponent likes to do. I think the Patriots will find a way to keep Julio Jones under control. Can the other Patriot receivers do enough to compensate? And will Devonta Freeman stop grousing about his contract long enough to get in the end zone? On such questions championships are decided. Brady will be Brady and Belichick will be Belichick. I hope I'm wrong about this, but here you go:  Patriots 28, Falcons 24.


Enjoy the game. And to all the New England fans I just tweaked, ask yourself why Brady can seemingly do no wrong. Ben out!

Benster and D Pick Your Games---Super Bowl 50 Edition

Old dude, two teams enter, only one will get to wear a ring on their finger. It is the Super Bowl!

Hey man, pull my finger.

Seriously? What are you, 12?

Nah, I was 12 during the Bicentennial.

That's good information -- I'd assumed you were actually one of the signers of the Declaration of Independence, but then I realized that couldn't be right.

Why is that?

Crayola didn't go into business until the 1880s.

Good detective work, young fella! I suppose you want me to stop with the antics and pick the game, right?

Yep. It's the big game, Geritol Fan! It's special! And because this Super Bowl is so special, I will be making a Very Special Comment about recent events that may have cost the NFL more than what they hope to gain. It is time to get down to it, so watch me work!

Carolina Panthers (-6) vs. Denver Broncos, in Santa Clara, California. It seems like the Panthers have already been crowned as one of the best teams of all time. Ask an expert:

They dominated the Cardinals two weeks ago and if you ask the experts, there is no way that Denver can win. Well, as always there are some people who do not see that the Broncos have things that Carolina does not. Denver has experience in the Super Bowl, having only been here two years ago. In addition, while Cam Newton has gotten plenty of well-deserved praise, he also has yet to fail in championship games. One thing I noticed -- Carolina seems to have taken elements of the Auburn offense, which Newton was very successful at running in college. However, one thing that Cam has said is going to bite him a bit. He claims that he is really unique and that people are not ready for him. Well, I am sorry Cam. You are not unique. You remind me of Doug Williams, who by the way I consider a trailblazer for African-American quarterbacks, as well as former Michigan quarterback Dennis Franklin, who 40 years ago proved that a quarterback could lead Michigan to success. So what Denver needs to do is to just make Cam work for every single yard, and to keep it close. If Carolina doesn't win, then this whole season will have been a waste, and Cam might have squandered all the goodwill that he had. And in my view, he is not even the best quarterback in the history of his team. Denver 27, Carolina 19.

I'll admit it -- I'm rooting for the Broncos. It would be a great story if Peyton Manning could ride off into the sunset as a Super Bowl winner. I think the young fella has the formula correct. The Broncos were absolutely ferocious in the AFC Championship game and that defense made Tom Brady look ordinary. It was an impressive performance. Can Peyton score enough points to win, though? I'm not sure. Cam Newton is having a tremendous season, but this will be the fastest and nastiest defense he's seen this year. He's made a lot of big plays with his feet, but I'm not sure he can outrun the Denver defense. Still, I think he'll have enough to win this one. Carolina 28, Denver 24.

And now, time for a Special Comment. As we all know, the NFL has decided that the Rams are going to be playing in Los Angeles next year. I am glad that those old Rams fans get to see their team again, and certainly there will be a lot of interest in them next year. However, I think the NFL has made a mistake. First of all, Los Angeles has a lot of entertainment options on fall weekends. Remember, USC and UCLA are very popular and that the Dodgers and Halos are playing well now, so they are still going to get a lot of interest. Will a mediocre Rams team draw consistently? That being said, the other problem is this: The NFL is ending the second year of a record television deal, and the networks are perfectly happy to pay boatloads of money with no team in Los Angeles. If the Rams have trouble selling out their games, especially while they labor for the next 2-3 years in the ancient and dangerous Los Angeles Coliseum, will the NFL be willing to enforce a blackout, which would hurt television ratings in the second biggest market in the country?

In addition, while the Rams will sometimes get sellouts, the worry is that when teams like Pittsburgh and Green Bay come out, there is going to be a loss of home field advantage. One other factor -- don't forget that the Cowboys hold their training camp in Oxnard, so they have at least planted their flag in the region as well. Most of all, the NFL has used L.A. as a lever for years to get teams in other markets to pony up for new stadiums. The old dude wrote about that quite a lot when the league was essentially blackmailing the politicians in the Twin Cities. Do you think that, when the NFL tries to get public money for a stadium, the threat of moving to St. Louis is going to be especially frightening to other municipalities? Los Angeles has had multiple professional teams leave, and the NFL is well aware about that. So why do you give them another shot? Because the NFL thinks that LA needs them. Well, they are wrong. The NFL is doing better than ever without a team in LA, yet now they send the message that no team is safe? All in all, this is a risk that I would never have taken. Ben out!

Benster and D Pick Your Games----Conference Championship Edition

Old dude, it is time to see who wants to go to Santa Clara for the 50th Super Bowl

I want to, but I don't get to go.

You aren't in the NFL, Geritol Fan!

Oh, you mean the teams left in the tournament.

The thing is, this is a big year for the NFL, and they should have played Super Bowl 50 at the temporary home for the Rams, but I digress.

Oh, the Rams are back in L.A. That's right.

Don't worry, that will be a possible Very Special Comment in the future about why the NFL is making a huge mistake. But that detracts from the HYYYYYYYYYYYYYPPPEEE! Watch me work!


New England Patriots (-3) vs. Denver Broncos. Peyton Manning and Tom Brady have played each other numerous times in big games, so it is fitting that two of the best quarterbacks of my generation will play to go to Santa Clara. Now, we all know that the Nationwide pitchman struggles in cold weather games, and has had an epic number of chokes in big games. He never beat Florida in college, lost a National Championship to Nebraska, lost numerous times to New England, lost two Super Bowls, lost to a huge underdog Steeler team, lost his Mastercard sponsorship. and so on. Brady, on the other hand is the Joe Montana of this generation. Brady is very much the champion quarterback, who is very good in big games, a great leader, can do it with less than elite wideouts, has the supermodel for a wife. You figure that the Hoodie will have a game plan, and that Manning will prove once again that no matter how good he is, he will never be as good as his brother. Yeah, I just went there. Patriots 17, Broncos 0.

You mean Cooper? Oh. I'm pulling for the old warrior in this one, but I wish he'd say "Council Bluffs" once in a while just to switch things up a bit. If Denver is going to win this game, it will have to be on defense. I think your instincts on a low-scoring game are correct, but I'm going to go the other way. Broncos 17, Patriots 14.

Arizona Cardinals (+3) vs. Carolina Panthers. Both teams got ambushed at home last weekend and were lucky to survive. The Cardinals had to rely on Larry Fitzgerald to play out of his mind to overcome my Packers, who had to play without the top 4 wideouts they had expected in training camp. The Panther nearly blew a 31 point lead against Seattle, which is even more concerning for me. Carolina is not as good as the record says they are, and I do not buy that they are legit. Good teams close out opponents. When the Packers almost come back from a 20 point deficit, when the Giants almost come back from 28 points down, when Seattle almost comes back from 31 points down, then you know that your team has not been coached well. Riverboat Ron needs to step up and win this game, or otherwise he and Scam Newton will have to face critics and will have to accept that this whole ride has been smoke and mirrors, and that real champions can actually close out a team when it matters. I expect Carolina to blow a 20+ point lead tomorrow night, and it won't be pretty. Cardinals 31, Panthers 27.

I agree with you on this one. I really wonder if the Panthers are as good as advertised. This Cardinals team has been impressive throughout the season and I imagine that, when the time comes to win the game, they will find the wherewithal to do it. The only concern is whether Carson Palmer will make a mistake. He was a little lucky against the Packers. I think he'll be better this week and that will be the difference. Cardinals 28, Panthers 20.

Those were some very powerful and strong hot takes there, but I do believe it is true. You have to be able to win big games, and I believe that Arizona and New England are better coached and better prepared. Ben out!