Benster and D Pick Your Games-----LOL Cowboys, Cowboys Fans, And Skip Bayless Edition

I have one simple question to start. How Bout Them Cowboys? Seeing the Packers go into Jerry World and just lay waste to the Cowboys gave me vicarious joy. Oh, we are going to laugh at them later.

Why wait? Let's laugh at them now!

Jerrah and Dak are not happy

I have more to say, but that's a good start, although I'm surprised that Jerry Jones isn't using his giant forehead for advertising space. I also need to offer a sincere apology to the Packers. Earlier this year I called for everyone to be fired. I'm glad that I blew that take, and that's on me for being reactionary to a bad run. 

I don't know why things changed, but things have improved a lot in the ol' 54301.

I am feeling the HYYYYYYYYYYYYYPPPEEEE! and ready to pick some games. Watch me work.

Houston Texans (+9.5) vs. Baltimore Ravens The Texans had an equally impressive performance, and I feel like the DeMeco Ryans deserves to be named Coach of the Year. Houston has gone from being a terribly run organization to an organization that nailed their head coach hire, nailed finding the right quarterback, and seems to be steps ahead of where most thought they would be. But this won't be easy in Baltimore. The Ravens are arguably the most complete team in football, and Lamar really seems like a man on a mission to prove the doubters wrong, and I am not surprised that fellow Knox alum Todd Monken has done a great job in changing the offense to better suit Lamar's strengths. I like the Ravens to win a game that is going to be close into midway through the third quarter into a deceptive score. Ravens 35, Texans 17.

I really like Stroud and I believe he and Love will face each other next season, which should be fun. Baltimore will not be fun for the Texans, however. I think the Ravens are simply better top to bottom and will prevail. Ravens 31, Texans 23.

Glorious Green Bay Packers (+9.5) vs. San Francisco 49ers Last week was the best playoff performance the Packers had since the 2010 blowout against the Falcons. Nobody gave this young Packers team a chance, but they played almost a perfect game to be the first 7 seed to win a playoff game. But this won't be an easy trip to the Bay Area on a short week. The Niners have very good reason to believe that they are going to win the Super Bowl, and are going to be very healthy and rested after their bye. But I have been sensing a little bit of nerves among Niners fans. Kyle Shanahan and John Lynch have done a great job the past few years, no question. But they haven't broken through, and if this game gets tight late, there could be some doubts about if another playoff loss is coming. The Packers have nothing to lose. Even if they get blown out, this team has done way more than I could have fairly asked for, and the future is looking bright with more cap space coming. They won't get blown out. Packers 13, 49ers 10.

Oh, they could get blown out, but I don't think they will be, either. Having said that, it's going to take even more to beat the Niners than it did last week. Do they have enough, especially when stopping Christian McCaffrey is the assignment? 49ers 31, Packers 27.

Tampa Bay Bucs (+6) vs. Detroit LOLions Tampa deserves a ton of credit for rebounding after Gisele's ex finally retired. They have a defense that plays, and a win here would really be a strong Ewing Theory case study. I am happy for the Lions and their fans. I've made a lot of jokes about them in the past and am not a big fan of Dan Campbell as an in game coach, but they've validated the hype that they were given. This feels like the type of game that Baker really wants. He would love nothing more than to go to the Motor City and spoil the party. I think that Baker will do just that, with help from a Bucs defense that wants to remind everyone that they want to be remembered as winning a Lombardi trophy as the heart and soul of the team, not Gisele's ex. Bucs 28, LOLions 12.

I'm not sure if Tampa was impressive or if the Eagles were terrible last week, but if I had a guess I would go with the Eagles being terrible. Tampa is a good team but I can see the Lions figuring out how to stop him. This will be a fun game, but I see the Lions moving on. Lions 27, Bucs 20.

Taylor Swift's Football Era Kansas City Chiefs (+2) vs. Buffalo Steakhouse Analogy For the first time, Patrick Mahomes will be playing a true road playoff game. This is the first time that these two teams have played each other in the playoffs since the infamous 13 Seconds sequence two years ago. The Bills need this one, as Mahomes has been the guy who has ruined their playoff dreams in this current era of AFC football. If Buffalo doesn't win, then a lot of questions are going to be asked about the Bills and their core, coaching staff, and front office. When in doubt, pick the desperate team at home. Last time I checked, this game was in Buffalo. Nobody Circles The Wagons Like The Buffalo Bills 50, Too Many Chiefs Commercials 49.

This one will be flat-out hostile. Buffalo's inconsistency really troubles me, but this Chiefs team is not as good as previous editions. The elements will not be a factor, but I think the Bills break through as well. Bills 34, Chiefs 31. 

And now, it's time to dunk on the Cowboys. God, seeing the Cowboys get destroyed after all of the talking they did. All this talk about the Packers being an easy opponent, how they were going to end the curse now that Jimmy Johnson got in the Ring of Honor, all of Skip Brainless talking about how his Cowboys were going to dominate, and they come out like that? It's time to admit that even though the Cowboys may have dominated the Packers in the 1990s, that was against the historical trend. Skip, why don't you just admit that you hate the Packers because the Packers ruined your childhood during the Ice Bowl. Cry more. 

The best part is that Jerry decided to keep Mike McCarthy around. We warned you, Dallas. We told you that he needs high end talent to bail him out of trouble, and that he was a big reason why the Packers didn't get the second ring for Aaron. But you didn't listen, and are doubling down on him. Jerry once again has proven that he learned nothing from March of 1994. 

You want to know what advice I'd give to Jerry? Simple. He won't listen to this, but he has two options. The first one is to get him and Stephen away from football operations and let the professionals do their jobs. You want to know why the Yankees were so good in the 1990s-early 2000s? It's because Gene Michael and Buck Showalter were able to have the time they needed to fix the problems that George Steinbrenner caused with his constant meddling with the front office after he got banned from baseball. The second option I would tell Jerry is one that he would never do, but at this point should be considered. Sell the team. The Cowboys at this point aren't as much a football team but more a vanity brand for Jerry, and he ain't doing a good job as an owner. Even Cowboys fans agree. But Jerry won't sell the team. At this point, he's a liability as an owner, but nobody wants to admit it. I'm dead serious. Coaches and players have changed, but Jerry is the constant since the last time the Cowboys made the NFC title game. 

Enjoy your football this weekend. Also, if you are looking for something to do on Saturday the 20th, go to the Border Battle to watch some high school basketball. It's at Benilde St. Margaret's in St. Louis Park. You'll be glad you did. Ben out.