Benster and D Pick Your Games -- Inadvertent Rerun Edition

Right off the bat, I have to apologize. It turns out that Knox did not play last week, so I made the pick a week early and made Old Dude pick the game as well.

It was a brilliant pick for a game that never happened. But will tomorrow, right?

Yes, barring an epic mosquito invasion at Ripon.

In my experience, you're more likely to encounter weasels at Ripon.

Hey, I do the comedy around here, pal.

Well, why don't you, then?

Because I also have to provide the HYYYYYYPPPPPPE! as well. And sometimes that takes a lot of effort.

Those extra Ps are heavy, right?

Oh yes. And so you are you -- I've been carrying you for years. Watch me work!

Minnesota Elite Rowers of the Boat (+2.5) vs. Maryland Criminal Investigations. Maryland is in a weird spot right now, and I don't mean its proximity to Washington, DC. The Terps are dealing with the fallout of the death of one of their players, who died during an offseason workout. As of the writing of this post, it is possible that Maryland Coach D.J. Durkin could be fired. You hate to question the innocent players, but you have to wonder where their heads are going to be. The Gophers are about a year away from getting a lot better, but this is a game they should win. Gophers 20, Maryland 10.

Maryland is quite confusing. They beat Texas and lose to Temple. I don't know how that happens. Neither do they, apparently. I think they'll be angry tomorrow. And while anger doesn't always transform into effectiveness on the gridiron, the edge will be enough to send the Gophers home with a loss. Maryland 29, Gophers 20.

Knox Prairie Fire (NL) vs. Ripon College Redhawks. What's all this Redhawk stuff, lately? Okay, that part doesn't make sense in the current context. But we'll begin again. I was disappointed to see my beloved Fire stub their toes against Geritol Fan's beloved Beloit Buccaneers last week two weeks ago. This week the Fire go even further into Wisconsin to play Ripon. I always back Knox to do well. Knox 21, Ripon 0.

As an observer of Midwest Conference football for nearly 40 years, I can assure you of this -- if your beloved Fire cannot beat my feeble Bucs, you ain't beating Ripon. Ripon 34, Knox 14.

Beloved Wisconsin Badgers (-3) vs. Iowa Hawkeyes. Last week was one of the worst Badgers performances I have seen in a long, long time. It was. . . well, let's have a guest observer tell you:

He's right, you know. However, all is not lost. The Badgers can still get to the Rose Bowl, but they're going to have to earn it. Kinnick Stadium at night makes me very nervous. The Hawkeyes are a tough out no matter when you play them, but they are fearsome under the lights. It's time for the Badgers to respond to adversity. Wisconsin 31, Iowa 17.

It's going to be tough, but I will say this -- Iowa has really struggled to figure out the Badgers defense in recent years. They were historically bad last year at Camp Randall and I'm not certain they'll be a lot better this time around. Low scoring? Oh yeah. Badgers steal it late. Badgers 24, Hawkeyes 21.

Buffalo Bills (+16.5) vs. Minnesota Vikings. Vegas is telling you this, Vikings fans:

Oh, by the way, I guess that clip is NSFW, punk. The Bills are a joke. They have guys retiring at half-time and former Vikings head coach Leslie Frazier had his playbook yanked away by the head coach last week. The Bills are a professional football team. Or so we hear. Vikings 100, Bills 0.

Hmmm. You haven't made one of those absurd predictions in a while. I almost missed those. Meanwhile, we do have some tape of a recent Bills practice:

By the way, I don't question Dirty Harry. Vikings 31, Bills 10.

Glorious Green Bay Packers (-2.5) vs. Washington Endless Senatorial Hearings. The Packers had a narrow escape from defeat last week, thanks to the inability of the Vikings to kick field goals. The Vikings may have fixed that, but that's not our concern this week. The Redskins are scuffling and I expect there to be plenty of Green and Gold in the stands this weekend. The Packers need to play better defensively, but this should be a routine win. Packers 42, Redskins 10.

I don't think the Redskins are very good, either, but I'm not sure the Packers are going to go into Washington and score six touchdowns. I think it's actually going to be a tight game, but if it comes down to a field goal in the end, Mason Crosby won't miss this time. Packers 23, Redskins 20.

I was thinking about picking the Bears game, but I was worried the NFL would flag me for unnecessary sarcasm. Ben out!