Friday, December 19, 2008

Guilty Pleasures Part Thirty-Five -- Holiday Romance Advice Edition


I'm lucky. I've been married to the lovely and talented Mrs. D for over 17 years. She has tolerated my idiosyncrasies for even longer than that.


I don't think I'd want to be looking for romance these days. It doesn't look like things have gotten any simpler since I was courtin'. We have many more means of communication, but it's pretty clear that the quality of the communication hasn't improved very much. A Dear John text message might be more efficient, but it's not any warmer. And it probably will have weird phonetic spellings, too.


So if you're out looking for romance, you probably know that the holidays are a source of potential opportunity. People are feeling all warm and fuzzy and there's mistletoe and New Year's Eve opportunities galore for the restive singles. But while the opportunity is there, communication remains pretty important. Which is why today's selections are a cautionary tale.


Guys struggle with communication. It's a given. Some people are better at it than others, though. In my experience the ladies tend to prefer something like this over the first contestant in tonight's contest, Richard Thompson, whose knowledge of l'amour seems, well, a bit theoretical.




One of the keys is getting out there, of course. Oddly, the ladies don't seem to just come knocking on your door (unless you're Marvin Gaye, perhaps). So sitting back and speculating about your bad fortune isn't a good strategy. Just ask Joe Jackson.




So you get out there. But you need to have a strategy. As Bruce Springsteen might say, don't be like this guy.




It also helps to work on your social skills. There's an art to conversation. Avoid an approach of the sort portrayed in this obscure cautionary tale from Crazy Joe and the Variable Speed Band:




But let's be optimistic. I think it will go well for you. People are looking for love. But if you start a relationship and it doesn't seem to click, try not to take the approach offered here by the Ben Folds Five, which seems a smidge adversarial:




Well, I hope that you have better luck than these dudes did. Pick your favorite song, then get out there and mingle. And watch that egg nog....






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