Benster and D Pick Your Games------LOLions Have Something To Say About The Vikings Edition

 Editor's Note: we're going early because we'll be on assignment the rest of the week. Not that you'd notice, but.... Meanwhile, you want some Benster? Here's some Benster!

Well, the Vikings are probably for real. But the LOLions aren't going to give up their crown that easy. 

They've waited a long time to get a crown and this isn't a dollar store tiara. So yeah, I suppose that's right.

The Packers are about to play another playoff contender in the Texans. Should be a fun duel between two of the best young quarterbacks in the NFL. A special screw you to the stupid NFL broadcasting rules for screwing over Packer fans in Minnesota. There are very few Raiders and Rams fans in the Twin Cities. Show the Packer game opposite the Viking game, as that slate at noon combined with the Niners-Chiefs game is objectively the better slate in this market. 

The NFL's broadcast rules are dumb. They should show the better games, but they still think they need to protect a team that sells out all their games. I don't get it, either, but what are you gonna do? Meanwhile, here's a picture of Roger Goodell looking dumb to illustrate the point:

Really should lay off those Lemonheads, Rog

I am feeling the HYYYYYYYYPPPEEEEE! and ready to pick some games. Watch me work. 

Beloved Wisconsin Badgers (-7) vs. Northwestern Purple Nerds Holy crap, Phil Longo actually is getting the ball to his best weapons on offense. Where was this for the last year or so? This game is going to be hard. Northwestern is a team that plays hard, and the Badgers always struggle in Evanston. What is going to be the key is for the Badgers to keep on playing well early on. As interesting as the Penn State game is next week, it doesn't matter if the Badgers stub their toe. They won't. despite getting a game effort from Northwestern. Badgers 25, Purple Nerds 21.

The Badgers have lost a lot of games in Ryan Field. I don't know how they do on Oak Street Beach, or wherever this temp field is built. NU is a decent squad. I hope the Badgers can win, but this one makes me nervous, too. Badgers 30, Northwestern 24.

Detroit LOLions (+1.5) vs. Minnesota Vikings As much as I get a ton of joy about mocking the Vikings having Super Bowl ambitions, the Vikings are actually very good this year. They have thoroughly beaten two Super Bowl contenders at home in the Niners and Texans, and are facing a critical game in the NFC North against the Lions. Detroit gave me vicarious joy in making Jerry Jones have a terrible birthday. Thank you for your service, guys. The problem the Lions have in my eyes is that Dan Campbell showed a lot of his trick plays in a blowout. That shows me that he learned nothing from being too arrogant to take the points last January. What nobody in Michigan wants to admit is that the Lions failed a year ago was by being too aggressive even when it backfired. For the Vikings, I need to see how they respond to being jumped. And I am going to say this right now. If Sam Darnold keeps this play up, then the Vikings should trade JJ McCarthy at the trade deadline. I'm dead serious, by the way. They need draft capital. LOLions 35, Vikings 21.

Well, no one is going to trade for a quarterback who won't play in 2024 at the trade deadline. Perhaps in the offseason, maybe, but at this point McCarthy has proven exactly nothing. The Vikings did mortgage their future on drafting, but so far it's paying off. I do think the Lions are a better team, top to bottom, but losing Aidan Hutchinson will be a blow to the Lions defense. If they can't get home, the Vikings will move the ball a lot. And that may be enough. Vikings 38, Lions 34.

Houston Texans (+2.5) vs.  Glorious Green Bay Packers Last weekend went pretty well for the Packers. The only complaint is that things got a little nervy in the third quarter, but that would be nitpicky. I have a lot of respect for the Texans. They nailed their head coach and quarterback choice, and I like the talent that they have surrounded Stroud with. This is going to be a fun game between two entertaining offenses. The key for the Packers is to get off to a fast start again, and to keep Stroud from going deep. I think that they can do that, and X Man will get another pick. Packers 42, Texans 41.

Close game? Yes. Explosive plays? Probably. 42-41? Maybe less than that. But you're on the right track. Packers 34, Texans 30.

Enjoy your football this week. Ben out. 

Benster and D Pick Your Games----Can The Badgers Play Purdue Every Week Edition

 Last week went far better for my football teams. Wisconsin looked good against a terrible Boilermaker team, and the Packers were able to survive a late comeback out in LA. You love to see it. 

At least around here, we do.

Meanwhile, the Gophers are going to the Rose Bowl to play a game there for the first time since the 1960s. Maybe Basement Brew can lead the team out in order to say he did take the Gopher nation to Pasadena. 

He certainly meant to: 

Can you feel it? Would you want to? I am feeling the HYYYYYYYYYYYYPPPEEEEEE! and ready to pick some games. Watch me work.

Minnesota Golden Elite Rowers of the Boat (-4) vs. UCLA Bruins So the Gophers pulled off a nice upset win against USC, and PJ does deserve a lot of credit for that win. That is a good way for him to quiet the detractors in the Gopher fan base. UCLA is a program that should be doing better, but they have a lot of work to do. And like USC, they need to bulk up in the trenches to survive a more physical style of play compared to Oregon and Washington. For the Gophers, they are going to need to avoid falling into a trap game that this one is going to be. A lot of Gopher fans will be in Pasadena, as many of them have never seen the Gophers play at the Rose Bowl. Speaking from personal experience, the Rose Bowl is a special place to watch a game. Similar to Lambeau and Wrigley Field in the sense that you instantly feel the history and tradition of the place. Row Row Row Your Boat Elitely 24, Gritty Little Bruins 21.

I actually think the Gophers are the better team. But the better team doesn't always win. UCLA 27, Gophers 23.

Beloved Wisconsin Badgers (+1.5) vs. Rutgers Scarlet Knights The Badgers looked a lot better against Purdue. I especially liked how Longo was willing to get the ball to his best weapons a lot more, and I thought the Badgers didn't panic when Purdue got those two picks. Rutgers is really starting to pull it's weight more in both football and basketball. Athan Kaliakmanis has proven that he has some potential, and Rutgers is starting to really get better athletes. The key for Wisconsin is to be able to establish the run early, and I want to see Longo get the ball to his playmakers more in space. And if the receivers can actually catch the ball, that would be great. This will be a close one, but I think the Badgers have a good shot. Badgers 31, Buttgers 13.

Rutgers has never beaten the Badgers. Will that continue? This is the best Rutgers team the Badgers have faced and this is also not the best Badgers team. Having said that, I think the Badgers are better. Wisconsin 24, Rutgers 21.

A School In Columbus (-3.5) vs. Oregon Quack Quack This game is the most anticipated game in the Big Ten this season, as both Ohio State and Oregon are favorites to win the league. From what I have seen of Ohio State, Will Howard looks like a nice model upgrade over Honda McCord, and the Buckeyes seem to be trying to quiet the narrative that Ryan Day can't beat Michigan or win a big game. That narrative is unfair, as should the Buckeyes be dumb enough to fire Day, 99% of schools would hire him instantly. Oregon has looked a little loose in the turns, and some are wondering if they were overranked to start the year. This game is not an elimination game by any means because of the 12 team playoff and the fact that there are going to be some 1 loss teams with the parity we are seeing. I like Oregon to win given that they are playing in Eugene. Oregon 43, Buckeyes 41. 

This will be interesting. Somehow I haven't seen OSU play yet, but they are uber talented as usual. Ducks can match up. I tend to agree - home field is the key here. Oregon 37, Ohio State 35.

Arizona Cardinals (+5) vs. Glorious Green Bay Packers I thought that the Packers responded well in the second half. Jordan needs to clean up the turnovers, and I think that the pass heavy playcalls instead of running clock late in the game was playing with fire. The good news is that the Packers got an ugly win. Arizona has some good pieces, and the key is to keep Kyler Murray in the pocket and make him beat you with his arm. What I want to see from the Packers is to have a Romeo game. I was glad to see that he took care of what he needed to, and hopefully he can get rewarded. This won't be super easy, but the Packers have gotten better since the first half against the Vikings. Packers 46, Cardinals 21. 

Home field again. Packers will defend. Won't be easy, though. Green Bay 28, Cardinals 24.

Enjoy your football this week. Ben out. 

Benster and D Pick Your Games----Phil Longo Is A Disaster Edition

 Not a good week for my two favorite football teams. The Packers came this close to making me bust out a favorite tool of mine, and the Badgers had a terrible second half because Phil Longo is the worst assistant coach I have ever seen us hire. 

It's the Longo and the sort of it, I guess. Yes, he definitely has fallen well short of the hype. I don't understand what the Badgers are trying to do right now.

At least Everton got their crap together and actually won. Even better, Farhad Moshiri is actually going to sell the club to an ownership group that actually knows what they are doing. You love to see it. 

Go long on Toffee, I guess.

I am feeling the HYYYYYYYYYYYYYYPPEEEEE! and ready to pick some games. Watch me work.

USC Trojans (-8.5) vs. Minnesota Golden Elite Rowers of the Boat The Gophers got utterly screwed over last week in the Big House. In the interest of full disclosure, I had switched over to the Wisconsin game and didn't see the onside kick until halftime. That wasn't offsides on the Gophers, and the Big Ten needs to suspend those refs similar to what happened a few years back with the Miami-Duke ending. USC was able to overcome their own mistakes in the first half last week, and I think that they will be able to get the athletes in the trenches that they need to compete in Big Ten play. Miller Moss in particular looks like he is the most underrated quarterback in the Big Ten. I think that even though the Gophers have home field, the Trojans are going to ride the momentum to another win. Lincoln Riley's Brisket 31, Row Row Your Boat Elitely 11.

The Gophers played very well down the stretch last week. The key will be to keep that poor call from beating them twice. USC is talented. Should be closer than you have it, but I see USC as the superior team. USC 34, Minnesota 19.

Purdue Spoilermakers (+12.5) vs. Beloved Wisconsin Badgers While it is easy to blame the second half meltdown in LA on muffing the punt, the real culprit was Phil Longo. USC had a number of long drives in the first half, and the Badger defense looked gassed. I would have liked to see Longo call more run plays to give the defense some time to rest, and when he didn't the results were predictable. Fickell also deserves some of the blame for not making the decision to run the ball. The good news is that Purdue has been troubled offensively this year, and this game is Madison. Ever since the fateful fumble return all those years ago, Purdue has been unable to beat the Badgers. I think that this streak will continue if the Badgers actually get their crap together. Wisconsin 44, Purdont 12.

Big if. However, here's a live look at a recent Purdue practice:

So the Badgers have that going for them, which is nice. Badgers 24, Purdue 16.

New York J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS (+2.5) vs. Minnesota Vikings, in London Thank God that the Packers avoided the nightmare scenario of having Aaron return to Lambeau as an opponent. The next time I want him back at Lambeau is for his jersey retirement. I could bring up a number of things about last week, but that would be a salty homer move by me. The Vikings did their job quite impressively at Lambeau and won fair and square, and anyone that thinks the Vikings are frauds needs to step away from the keyboard or the microphone. They beat 3 teams in a row that are considered serious playoff contenders at worst, and have earned the title of legitimate contenders. I think that the Vikings are going to jump out in front of the Jets and coast to victory at the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium, and even though Aaron will play well, it won't be enough. Vikings 40, Jets 28.

The Vikings appear to be legit. It pains me to say it, but the evidence is there that they are a well-coached team and have a lot of versatility on both sides of the ball. The potential weakness is if they run into a team that can run it down their throat. In theory, that should have been the 49ers, but game flow and the unavailability of CMC prevented that. Until someone does it, though, it's only a theory. Vikings 34, Jets 27.

Glorious Green Bay Packers (-3) vs. Los Angeles Rams It's hard to believe, but the Packers haven't played in LA since Ty Montgomery infamously ran the ball out of the end zone back in 2018. The Packers also haven't won a game in Los Angeles since 1994. It was obvious that J Love looked very rusty in the first half, and the bottom line is that when you dig yourselves a 28 point hole and turn the ball over 5 times, you ain't going to win. The fact that it was only 2 points was a good thing, but it never should have come to it. The Rams are going to be shorthanded at receiver without Kupp and Puka, which is going to help. I would like to see the Packers get out to a better start and for J Love to look more comfortable early against the blitz. Packers 34, Rams 10.

Rams are puzzling and they won't have some of their best weapons available. Packers should win, but the late-breaking nonsense involving Romeo Doubs won't help. I still think they win, though. Packers 27, Rams 20.

Enjoy your football this week. Ben out. 

Benster and D Pick Your Games---Malik Willis Saved The Season Edition

I never thought that I would be saying this a couple of weeks ago, but Malik Willis has done a superb job holding down the fort after J Love went down. You really love to see it.

It's a surprise. I didn't think about Malik Willis at all until a month ago. But yes, things would look a lot worse without him.

I've also noticed that the Vikings enablers on KFAN are starting to plan their trip to New Orleans. As much as I would mock them, they do have reasons to be very happy. 

It's the circle of life. Vikings start winning and their fans start believing. And then they get crushed. The only question is when.

I am ready to pick some games and feeling the HYYYYYYYYYYYYYYPPPEEEEE! Watch me work.

Minnesota Golden Elite Rowers of the Boat (+10.5) vs. Michigan Hail to the Cheaters Valiant So, PJ has some explaining to do after what happened last weekend against the Iowans. PJ fell into the same trap that Fickell did a year ago where he let Iowa get ahead, and then couldn't force the Hawkeyes to pass their way back into the game. It seems like PJ is losing a bunch of support among the Gopher fans. Michigan hasn't looked great, but they are at home. This game will be an ugly rivalry game loss for the Gophers. Hail Hail To Michigan The Cheaters and the Best 35, Row Row Row Your Boat Elitely 14.

Peej's act is starting to grow stale. I don't know that Michigan is that great, but they are certainly good enough to win against the Gophers in Ann Arbor. Michigan 41, Gophers 21.

Beloved Wisconsin Badgers (+14.5) vs. USC Trojans Yes, the Badgers are playing a Big Ten conference game against USC in the LA Coliseum. Conference realignment has gotten out of control, but that is another discussion for another day. USC lost their first Big Ten game against Michigan last week in a tough one. The good news for Badger fans after the beatdown by Alabama two weeks ago is that at least Locke has won on the road in conference play. What concerns me is that Phil Longo seems to be intent on forcing the Badgers to play a scheme that he wants instead of fitting to what he has, and that is an indictment on Fickell. This won't be easy, but a good way for the Badgers to show that they aren't afraid of the new Big Ten would be to get a win this week. Badgers 21, USC 14.

It would be a good way to show that, but it's not likely to happen. Trojans 34, Badgers 17.

Minnesota Vikings (+2.5) vs. Glorious Green Bay Packers I certainly will admit that I didn't see the Vikings being 3-0 coming, and even the most ardent Vikings fans would have struggled to believe that. But to their credit, the Vikings impressively beat two Super Bowl contenders back to back, and are deserving of their praise. But the Packers are also deserving of praise. I will admit that the season looked lost after the trip to Brazil. Thankfully, the Packers were able to win two games and give me the confidence that even with the chance of no Love, they have a chance. What is going to be the key to me for the Packers is that if they can get out and score early and force the Vikings to play from behind. They haven't done it outside of 5 snaps this year. Packers 35, Vikings 24.

That's the formula. You have to make the Vikings defend the run. They've done a pretty good job of it thus far. The Packers have the home field advantage, but it's a Milwaukee game which usually means a lot of visiting fans find their way in, so I expect more than a smattering of purple at Lambeau. The team that does a better job of rushing the passer wins this game. Packers 28, Vikings 26.

Enjoy your football this week. Ben out. 

Benster and D Pick Your Games----Malik Willis Is Outplaying Caleb Williams Edition

 Malik Willis, I really like you. You did everything you were asked to do, and I think that should you get the nod ahead of J Love, you will do well again. 

He did exactly what he needed to do and nothing more. He gave the Packers the chance to win, and that's what they did. It was an excellent performance.

The fact that Malik Willis is outplaying Caleb Williams is hilarious. You really hate to see it. My issue with Caleb isn't that he is talented. What gives me concern about him is that similar to Justin Fields, Caleb played on teams in college with a decided talent advantage over pretty much all of their opponents. When Caleb got in trouble in college, he could use his superior talent to get out of trouble. That won't work in the NFL. 

It is exceptionally difficult to have success as a rookie quarterback in the NFL, especially with a terrible offensive line. The Bears have been ruining quarterbacks for 70 years now. Past is not necessarily prologue, but you can't like the trendline at the moment. But it's the Bears, so well, oh darn or something.

I am feeling the HYYYYYYYYPPEEEEE! and ready to pick some games. Watch me work. 

Iowa Hawkeyes (-2.5) vs. Minnesota Golden Elite Rowers of the Boat Ah, the Floyd of Rosedale game. As a Wisconsin fan, I wish that both of these teams could lose. While I can't use the PJ can't beat Iowa stat anymore, PJ has never beaten Iowa at home. In fact, when you look at the Gopher record in rivalry games, PJ has beaten the Badgers twice in Madison and won last fall in Iowa City. But he hasn't beaten the Hawkeyes here, and beat the Badgers once here. This game is going to be run heavy given the offensive styles of the two coaches, and should be a tight game. I like Minnesota to win because they have looked good, and I believe that Brosmer has been impressive from what I have seen.  Row Row Row Your Boat Elitely 21, Iowans 14.

It's not Rhode Island on the other sideline, nor is it Nevada. It's Iowa. Can the Gophers win? Sure. But there's a reason why they are a road dog. Iowa has the resume and the defense to be in every game. And the Gophers haven't proven that yet. Hawkeyes 17, Gophers 14.

Houston Texans (-1.5) vs. Minnesota Vikings Frankly, the Vikings looked really good against the Niners last week. Sam Darnold in particular looks a lot more comfortable now that he has an actual competent organization around him instead of the Panthers mess under Tepper and Adam Gase's offensive genius. Now, Houston isn't going to be an easy opponent. The Texans are the NFL offseason media darlings, and I like what they did to surround Stroud with talent. But I think that the Vikings can have another great performance this week. Don't be surprised if the Vikings pull another upset. Vikings 41, Texans 0.

I can't count the Vikings out - they are playing very well. I do think C. J. Stroud is a better quarterback than the overhyped Brock Purdy, however. And I get the sense that Stephon Diggs will have something to prove. Should be a dandy. Texans 28, Vikings 26.

Glorious Green Bay Packers (+2.5) vs. Tennessee Titans Malik Willis gave the Packers the victory without J Love; that was what I wanted, and he looked pretty good. There are reports that Jordan Love might be cleared, but to be honest I would rather give him another week to get healthy for the Vikings. Willis knows the Titans well, and this would be an ideal game for him to show them how wrong they are. The Packers have never won in Nashville. But streaks are meant to be broken. Packers 31, Titans 15.

If Josh Jacobs can run on the Titans the way he ran on the Colts, the Packers win. Packers 24, Titans 19.

Enjoy your football this week. Ben out. 

Benster and D Pick Your Games----Thank God That Jordan Is Okay Edition

 That sound that you heard on Friday night was every single Packers fan screaming things I can't repeat on a family blog post. Thank goodness that J Love is going to come back fairly soon.

Yep, Anglo-Saxon words were flying, but the prognosis is good.

Also, the NFL should be ashamed about how that field turned out. Guys were slipping and sliding all over the place. I know that the NFL is full of greedy owners, but my advice to the NFL higher ups is to make sure that you are putting out a good product. That starts with the field.

Also true. Soccer pitches are maintained differently and it's tough for big dudes to keep their footing. We saw a lot of issues with that on Friday. But it's a new week.

I am feeling the HYYYYYPPPEEE and ready to pick some games. Watch me work.

Nevada Wolfpack (+17.5) vs. Minnesota Golden Elite Rowers of the Boat The Gophers ended up comfortably winning against Rhode Island, and are going to step up in class. Nevada is a solid team, though I wonder about how focused they are given the news that Boise State, San Diego State, Colorado State, and Fresno State are all leaving the Mountain West to join Washington State and Oregon State in the Pac 12. Nevada could be left behind, and somewhere Karl Benson is smiling. For those not in the know, Benson was the former commissioner back when the WAC was torn apart in the 2010 realignment round. Nevada was one of the teams that left the WAC around that time. The Gophers should win this game, though I think that Nevada keeps it fairly close. Row Row Row Your Boat Elitely 37, Wolfpack 23.

The arcana of conference realignment is increasingly more difficult to keep straight. What happens on the field is a larger concern at this point. The Gophers have the makings of a decent team, but this week will tell us a lot about their progress. Gophers 28, Nevada 20.

Alabama Crimson Tide (-16.5) vs. Beloved Wisconsin Badgers This is the first in a home and home series that I have been looking forward to for years. Nick Saban was so scared of coming back to Camp Randall that he up and retired. Obviously that is a joke, but one that I had to put out there. I'm not going to lie, Wisconsin has looked shaky. But the thing is, Alabama didn't look great last week against USF at home. I keep hearing how Wisconsin has been holding stuff back to avoid giving Kalen DeBoer a lot of tape. So why not show what you are saving it for. I would like to see the shackles come off the offense, and for the Badgers to be a bit more aggressive with blitzing against an offensive line that has Tide fans concerned. This won't be easy, especially since Jalen Milroe is a very good quarterback. However, there are 3 factors that give the Badgers an edge. First, this game is in Madison and will have an electric atmosphere. Second, when the Badgers played Alabama back in 2015 in Jerry World, the Badgers hung on into the 3rd quarter before arguably the best Alabama team under Saban took control of the game. Third, all of the pressure is on the Tide. If they lose to a Wisconsin team that isn't among the favorites in the Big Ten, then that makes the SEC and their media enablers look terrible. Wisconsin 35, The Crimson Tide Of Alabama 13.

All of that may be true, but the Badgers aren't that good. Alabama has superior athletes and swagger galore. Camp Randall is a great atmosphere for football, but it's really not an intimidating venue in the way Ohio Stadium or Beaver Stadium is, or even Kinnick. I do think the Badgers will give a good accounting, but it's not going to be enough. Tide 35, Badgers 24.

San Francisco 49ers (-5.5) vs. Minnesota Vikings I'll say this about the Vikings, they looked pretty good last week in the Meadowlands. It may be that the Giants are a terrible team, but the Vikings did what they had to do. The Niners are going to be a tough out, especially since this might be their last chance before they have to choose between paying Brock Purdy 60 million a year or his supporting cast and going back into the quarterback store. If McCaffery plays at close to full health, then the Niners win comfortably. However, the Niners lost to the Vikings a year ago, and this is a cross country trip on a short week. I like the Vikings to pull this one off. Vikings 43, Niners 42.

Plausible result, except for the score. I see it being much more of a defensive battle, especially if the Niners don't have CMC available. Fun fact - the 49ers haven't won in Minnesota since 1992. Vikings 24, 49ers 23.

Indianapolis Colts (-2.5) vs. Glorious Green Bay Packers So the Packers were looking at a bad scenario even before J Love went down, but thankfully he is going to be okay. I would not play J Love this week even if he is cleared, though that is just me. Malik Willis has had his share of critics, but he looked pretty good in the preseason and he is familiar with the Colts from his time with the Titans. I look for the Packers to use Willis in the run game, and for a lot of short stuff. As for the Colts, it's hard to get a read on Anthony Richardson. He looked pretty good before he went down, and the Colts are hoping that he can get close to the great quarterback play they have had in the past. It's going to be strange to cheer against Jonathan Taylor given that he is a Badger. What I am hoping for is that the Packers can steal 1 or 2 games while J Love is on the sidelines. Packers 14, Colts 0.

I'm hoping so, too. I think this one is winnable even with Willis at the helm. The Colts are a middle of the pack team playing on the road. They could surprise folks, but in the end I think the Packers can figure out how to put Willis in a position to succeed. Packers 24, Colts 17.

Enjoy your football this weekend. Ben out. 

Benster and D Pick Your Games------We Didn't Get Sued By Florida State Edition

 Old dude, it's good to be back for a 16th year. That is really impressive. And we still have----wait, I have just been handed notice that I am being sued by Florida State for joking about their lawyers. 

Is it a bald guy with a beard? Is he on a lot of billboards?

Maybe it's that guy pretending to be Johnny Manziel. 

I can't rule it out, but I'd sure want to.

Meanwhile, the questions linger for the Vikings and the Packers for different reasons. We are about to find out what is in store for them, as well as the Badger and Gophers the rest of the way. I am feeling the HYYYYPPPPEEEEEEEEEEE! and ready to pick some games. Watch me work. 

Rhode Island Rams (NL) vs. Minnesota Golden Elite Rowers of the Boat 17 of the 18 Big Ten teams happened to win last week. The Gophers were the only ones to lose, and are the first team ever to be 18th in the Big Ten standings. You really hate to see it. While I thought that Max Brosmer played pretty well, PJ made an inexplicable decision to rely on a field goal to win the game instead of trusting the transfer QB that the Gopher fans were hyping up as more talented than Tanner Morgan. That's not even mentioning that PJ chose to line the ball up on the hash mark that his kicker missed from earlier in the game. The natives are rightly upset at PJ, and they can't say that I didn't warn him. Rhode Island isn't a great FCS team. The Gophers should win this one comfortably. If they don't win comfortably, then the boat is rowing into troubled waters. Row Row Row Your Boat Elitely 27, Rhode Island 10.

Rhode Island, you say? I guess Maine was unavailable. Gophers should roll. Gophers 34, Rhode Island 7

South Dakota Coyotes (NL) vs. Beloved Wisconsin Badgers I was not impressed with what I saw from the Badgers, as they were close to disaster last week against Western Michigan. TVD wasn't horrible, but the ease in which the front 7 were beaten is alarming. Where is the pass rush? The early signs on Alex Grinch aren't good, and makes me wonder what in the world Fickell saw with his coordinators. I would like to see the Badgers be more explosive against South Dakota, and show some more of what the offense is. Sleepwalking because you are worried about Alabama almost got them in trouble. I think that they are going to learn their lesson. Badgers 45, Coyotes 19.

I hope they've learned their lesson. Or perhaps they're just not very good? South Dakota is a sneaky good team and they won't be easy. I think Bucky wins on sheer size, but the Coyotes won't make it easy. Badgers 31, South Dakota 17.

Glorious Green Bay Packers (+2) vs. Philadelphia Eagles, in Brazil First of all, why in the world are you putting my Packers on Peacock? It's bad enough that Comcast screwed over me watching the Twins this year, but now you are doing it to the Pack? I got some serious issues with Comcast. The Packers did the right thing in getting Jordan paid, and I understand why the cost is high. The Eagles are coming off a brutal collapse, and could be run out of town by the angry Philly fans if they blow it again. This won't be easy, as the Eagles defense looks like they are going to be retooled, and the Packers aren't going to sneak up on people anymore. I think that the Packers are going to win a shootout. That would help me because I have Hurts and AJ Brown in fantasy. Packers 42, Eagles 31.

I have no idea on this one, mostly because I don't know who the Eagles are at this point. They have a talented roster but they were really dysfunctional down the stretch last year. I will pick the Packers, but again, not an easy one. Packers 28, Eagles 26.

Minnesota Vikings (-1.5) vs. New York Football Giants The Vikings had the offseason that made news for all of the wrong reasons. The tragic death of Khyree Jackson before he got to play a down of football was a horrible piece of news, and may his family and friends find some comfort. It didn't help that Jordan Addison decided to drive drunk soon after his teammate was killed by a drunk driver was a horrible decision. And most frustratingly of all, JJ McCarthy will not play a down after suffering an injury in training camp. So, what does that mean for the Vikings? I think that Sam Darnold is going to be fine, and certainly having the Griddy Man stick around will help him. The biggest concern I have about the Vikings is that should Dallas Turner and JJ McCarthy not perform well in the next couple of years, then you have to consider cleaning house. The Giants are a strange team. I don't know how good they are, but they seem to be trending in a decent direction. But I think that the Vikings are going to go into the Meadowlands and take a victory to start the year off on a high note. Vikings 28, Giants 24.

Sam Darnold vs. Danny Dimes. It's a marketing opportunity for the ages. The Dark Ages, that is. I like the Vikings here as well. Vikings 21, Giants 17.

Enjoy your football this week. Ben out. 

Biden Gets the Full Torricelli

 

Fallen and can't get up

No surprise that Joe Biden has ended his campaign. He's been a fugitive from Madame Tussauds for a long time now and even when he was at the height of his powers, he was at best a 10-watt bulb. He has been a horrible buffoon and genuine menace to the body politic for a half century and his departure from the field is long overdue. I have long thought Bill Clinton was the most despicable person to occupy the Oval Office, but Biden provides strong competition for the title.

Kamala Harris is, at this point, the frontrunner for the Donks, but it remains to be seen if the powers that be on the port side are willing to let her be the nominee. Not sure they are. My guess is they would rather have a fresh face without the associated baggage to take on the Bad Orange Man. Who would that be? I can think of a few possibilities, in order of plausibility:

Josh Shapiro, Governor of Pennsylvania

Roy Cooper, Governor of North Carolina

Andy Beshear, Governor of Kentucky

Gretchen Whitmer, Governor of Michigan

Of that group, Whitmer likely has the highest profile, which is what makes her the least likely possibility. She's got a definite air of Nurse Ratched about her and the only demographic that would find her appealing is human resources managers. Given his overall greasiness and demonstrably dismal performance, I don't think Gavin Newsom is the one, nor do I see Pritzker of Illinois having a shot either. There are some delusional types (Betty McCollum, for example) who are touting Tim Jong Walz as a possible dark horse, but he's a sputtering moron who would have no chance unless the entire Washington press corps morphs into Esme Murphy. And you can forget Skeletor Evers next door as well, as he has the charisma of lint.

I don't doubt there will be any number of other adventures before we get to November; I would not be surprised if another assassination attempt is forthcoming, nor would I be surprised if the corrupt judge in the New York trial that saddled Trump with a bunch of "felonies" tries to put Trump in Rikers in the general population. Any other guesses? Place yer bets.

The Fog of War/Shit Got Real

 

Bloodied but unbowed

We'll know more soon enough. What we may know suggests some very bad things. It's been over 40 years since someone took a shot at a president, former or otherwise. I hope we never see something like this again, but that's not the way to bet.

When the lies become the truth

 Anyone who pays attention to politics and the antics of our betters on the Potomac has known the truth about the Leader of the Free World -- he is an officially undiagnosed dementia patient who happens to have access to the nuclear codes. Thursday's debate performance should not have astonished anyone, but apparently people in and around the Beltway are all Claude Rains right now - shocked, shocked at the condition of Joe Biden.

It's crap, of course - everyone knew the truth, but pretending not to know the truth has been the game for a very long time now. Even when he was in the greatest command of his faculties, Joe Biden was a blowhard dullard who would lie about anyone and anything. For years he claimed the truck driver who was involved in the accident that killed his first wife and his daughter was drunk when the crash occurred. This was a lie. He claimed academic credentials he did not possess. He claimed to be a coal miner, a political protestor who was arrested in Soweto, a truck driver, a denizen of black and Puerto Rican churches. He used the words and life story of the British politician Neil Kinnock in a stump speech. All of this is known and easily available in the public record. Yet his primary political campaign message in the last two cycles has been about his truth telling how he is a better and more honorable person than his opponent, Donald Trump. And Biden's supporters parrot every word and notion put forth.

It's incredible, really. And it can't go on.