Benster and D Pick Your Games----Vikings Are In Desperation Mode Edition

 Old dude, the locals are getting worried about the Vikings. And this time they can't blame the refs. 

Are you sure? Blaming the refs is a tradition around here.

Meanwhile, the Badgers play Notre Dame and get a look at our old friend Jack Coan. Bet you Buckyville will have some hot takes about the result of the game. 

It still amazes me that these teams have not met since 1964. Here's what it looked like the last time:

Me too. You were around then, but even a guy as old as you wasn't aware of what was going on.

I'm still not aware of what's going on.

Yeah, I've noticed. But enough of your feebleness. I am feeling the HYYYYYYYYPPPEEEEEE!, and it is time to watch me work.

Bowling Green Falcons (+31) vs. Minnesota Golden Elite Rowers of the Boat Penn State winning against Auburn dominated a lot of the talk nationally about the Big Ten, but the Gophers looked mighty impressive in going out to Folsom Field and shutting out the Buffs. I know college football is different than college basketball, but that's a great resume booster for both the Gophers and the conference. Bowling Green is your usual MACrifice game. With conference play resuming next week, the Gophers should roll and build confidence before their first road test in conference play. Row Row Row Your Boat Elitely 45, Falcons 10.

Bowling Green has snuck up on a few teams over the years, but not this time. Gophers will dominate. Gophers 38, Bowling Green 13.

Notre Dame Fighting Irish (+6.5) vs. Beloved Wisconsin Badgers in Chicago First of all, I need to say something about the Badgers getting bad start times for the big games this year. This game should not be at 11:00, just like our games against Penn State and Iowa. Thanks a bunch, Fox. The Subway alums are going to be out in force at Soldier Field, and this game should be fun. The Domers twice have had to escape against lesser teams. Florida State is quite frankly not very good, and the Domers have no reason to lose against Toledo. Obviously, Jack Coan is going to want to beat us because we put our eggs in the Graham Mertz basket. But the Badgers obviously know Coan very well. One important thing to note is that Leo Chenal is back at linebacker after missing the first two weeks due to the protocols. This won't be easy, as the Domers are a good team. But I think the Badgers can add another good out of conference win to the Big Ten's collection. Badgers 28, Domers 21.

If Coan is comfortable, the Irish win. I think the Badgers will not be hospitable to their old pal. Is it enough? Badgers 21, Irish 18.

Seattle Seabags (-2) vs. Minnesota Vikings Everyone is blaming Greg Joseph missing those two fateful kicks against the Cardinals, but the real culprit was Mike Zimmer making some strange clock management decisions. At the end of the first half, why did the Vikings attempt a squib kick? That gave the Cardinals time to get into field goal range and get 3 points at the end of the half. At the end of the game, the Vikings could have gotten closer to the end zone with a timeout, but Zimmer elected to let the clock run down before sending the field goal unit out. Kirk was playing well, and that's the biggest problem I have with Zimmer's coaching. Kirk was brought in to be the missing piece, and he didn't make as many mistakes as Kyler Murray did last week. Why don't you showcase Kirk more? And why hasn't the front office or ownership asked Zimmer to do that? As for Seattle, they had a complete meltdown last week, blowing a 14 point lead at home to the Titans. They can't afford to go 1-2 before they've played a divisional game in the brutal NFC West. As someone who owns Wilson, Metcalf, Justin Jefferson, and Chris Carson in fantasy, please let this be a shootout. The Vikings need to win this game, or else the KFAN phone lines will be lit up with callers asking for people to get fired. Pray for Ron Johnson and Corey Cove. Seahawks 56, Vikings 42.

I suspect you're right about this game being a shootout. I also think this time the Vikings win the shootout. Look for an aerial circus. Zimmer will hate the game in progress, but he'll take the win. Vikings 38, Seahawks 35.

Glorious Green Bay Packers (+3.5) vs. San Francisco 49ers The Packers still have things to work on despite an excellent job in the second half. What concerns me the most about Joe Barry is that LaFleur had to order him to be more aggressive in the second half on Monday. I must give credit where it's due to Eric Stokes, who has been very impressive in coverage, and Kevin King looked somewhat competent in the slot. The Niners are 2-0, but I don't know who is going to play quarterback. This is still a West Coast road trip on a short week, and this time the Niners are going to have actual NFL talent compared to last year. This won't be easy, but I think if we can win this game the media coverage surrounding the team will be less toxic. One can hope? Packers 21, Niners 10.

I want to believe. I do. But I see Nick Bosa going off. 49ers 24, Packers 17.

Enjoy your football this weekend. Ben out. 

Benster and D Pick Your Games---Stop Freaking Out Early In The Season Edition

 Lots of fanbases have been freaking out after a loss early in the year. What gives? 

They worry. And in the case of a certain professional team we like in this feature, we fear creeping Randy Wrightism. But what's that industrial sound I hear in the background, young fella?

That sound you hear is me sharpening an axe, and I'm not doing it for show. I've got some words for some people, but that will have to wait until the end.

Uh-oh. This could get ugly.

You have no idea. But chill out, Geritol Fan, we have some games to pick. Until that time, I am feeling the HYYYYYYYPPPEEE, and it is time to watch me work.

Minnesota Golden Elite Rowers of the Boat (+2.5) vs. Colorado Buffaloes The Gophers last week ended up winning despite letting Miami of Ohio sneak back in the second half. Colorado is going to be a more difficult game. The Buffs can play some defense, and the altitude at Boulder will present a challenge that Big Ten teams aren't accustomed to. P.J. wasn't happy after last week. I can see why. One word of warning, Gopher fans. Karl Dorrell can coach, even though his record isn't great. His teams are always well-prepared, and they can equalize any talent differential. They also seem to have figured out how to recruit in the Pac 12.  Ask Texas A&M, who narrowly survived at Mile High last week. Buffs 21, Row Row Row Your Boat Elitely 10.

It's a tough place to play even if the Buffaloes are down. Gophers have their hands full here. Colorado 24, Minnesota 21.

Nebraska Cornhuskers (+22.5) vs. Oklahoma Sooners If this games doesn't get you amped up, then something is wrong. 50 years after the Game of the Century, a new generation of Sooners and Cornhuskers will battle in Norman. By the way, why is this game an early game? Thanks a lot, Fox. Crap like this is partly why the Sooners and Longhorns are joining up with the SEC. Oklahoma is the early favorite to win the Big 12, while Scott Frost is trying to save a Nebraska program that clearly is a long way off from the 1990s. Tom Osborne ain't coming through that door, and neither are the 1990s Cornhusker teams. However, this game might be closer than you think. Oklahoma usually has one inexplicable loss per season, and Spencer Rattler doesn't impress me at quarterback. He struggled against Tulane, and looks to be all hat and no cattle. I still think Oklahoma wins, but I would bet on Nebraska to cover. Jack Mildren 31, Johnny Rodgers 21.

I see it going the other way. Nebraska is not good. This could be really ugly. Oklahoma 45, Nebraska 14.

Auburn War Eagle/Tigers (+5) vs. Penn State Nittany Lions I criticize the SEC for a lot of things on here. I hate that conference, and especially hate SEC shills like Paul Finebaum and Clay Travis. However, I must give credit where credit is due. Major props to Auburn for being willing to play Penn State in Beaver Stadium, and being willing to brave the Whiteout. I'm glad to see SEC schools willing to play games outside the South against tough opponents. When you combine that with the national title game being played in Indy, teams don't have to go to the West and South for all the big games as much. The Big Ten needs this one badly, especially after what happened last week to A School in Columbus in the Horseshoe against Oregon. I'm not a conference pride guy at all, but Oregon winning has made the Pac 12 playoff contenders, and that has been repeated by the college football media, and not just by Pac 12 journalists. This game is a measuring stick, and I think Penn State can win. They had the big win against my beloved Badgers, and they should be more physical at the line of scrimmage. Look for the Whiteout crowd at night to lift the Lions to a huge win. Ecstatic Valley 50, War Eagle 14.

Penn State has a lot of talent -- that has been obvious. My impression is this is a middling Auburn team and so picking the Nittany Lions makes sense here. Penn State 31, Auburn 19.

Minnesota Vikings (+3.5) vs. Arizona Cardinals The Vikings put up a great comeback against the Bengals, but ended up losing in overtime. Everyone around here is complaining about the Dalvin fumble, but that wasn't what doomed them. The Vikings had too many offensive penalties, and seemingly couldn't get lined up properly at times. Can someone explain to me how you let a guy get open on the 4th down in overtime to set up the game winning field goal for the Bengals? Arizona had probably the most impressive win in the league last week, as they looked great in the early game window against the Titans. This version of the Cardinals is probably going to be a playoff contender, and the Vikings are going to have to play better defense. The Vikings can ill afford to go 0-2 to start the year. One thing to keep in mind, there will be a good amount of Purple in the stands in Glendale. But it won't be enough. Raising Arizona 35, Vikings 31.

I have the sneaking suspicion the Vikings aren't that good, but in their division they may not have to be. But this looks like a tall order. Cardinals 38, Vikings 24.

Detroit LOLions (+11.5) vs. Glorious Green Bay Packers Last week was a horrible game for the Packers, where they got flat-out blitzed by the Saints. And predictably, the conspiracy theories about 12 wanting to tank the season on purpose were making the rounds. Look, I expect the disrespect from the Vikings approved KFAN types, Skip Brainless, and Mike Florio, who clearly lets his hatred of the Packers influence his reporting and his website. But even some reliable NFL experts were arguing that. Look, it was one game. Yes, we looked bad, but we're onto Detroit. The LOLions don't look good, and something tells me we are going to see 12 have one of his games that shuts up the haters. Remember, R-E-L-A-X. Relax. They are going to be fine, and the season is far from over. Packers 41, LOLions 3.

I think the Packers play well, but if you come out flat for the first game of the season, that portends problems. I did not like what I saw last Sunday at all. Packers 34, Lions 23.

And now, it's time for A Very Special Comment. 

Do you want some music?

Uh, thanks? I touched on this with the Packers, but it seems like some spoiled fanbases are freaking out over one game early in the season. Ohio State fans want people fired after what happened to Oregon! Ryan Day has only lost 3 games so far in his career. In the last 20 years, Ohio State has won a bunch of Big Ten titles, lots of big bowl games, and 2 national titles. Only a handful of teams wouldn't sign up for that. Packers fans are freaking out after what happened in Florida, and I was frustrated on Sunday. But you know what, I remembered that we have been fortunate to be consistently elite for my entire lifetime, and that we should savor how lucky we are. Look, I get that football is a week to week thing, and losses are going to happen from time to time. It's only week 3 in college, and week 2 in the NFL. Just calm the heck down. It's very hard to win every game, and even the best teams of all time struggle. Nobody is handing out bowl bids and playoff berths this week. Just calm down, support your teams, and remember that it's just a game. Ben out. 

Benster and D Pick Your Games----Not Our Last Dance Edition

 Old dude, the Packers might be having a Last Dance, but this isn't our Last Dance.

Nope. And I'm glad you opened up the windows. It got a little musty in here over the summer.

And it's great to be back. After a lot of drama, we made it. And it feels good.

Is that a Barry Manilow reference? Or Peaches and Herb?

Maybe you ought to lay off the herb, old dude.

It's only oregano.

Whatever you say, Geritol Fan! I am certainly feeling the HYYYYYYYYPPPEEE!, and it is time to watch me work.

Miami of Ohio Redhawks (+17.5) vs. Minnesota Golden Elite Rowers of the Boat Sadly for the Boat Rowers, last week was close but no cigar against A School In Columbus. Despite rumors that I was in the Columbus area a few weeks back, I was nowhere near the campus of Ohio State, and certainly wasn't run out of town by an angry mob of Eleven Warriors readers. With no Mohamed Ibrahim for the rest of the year, P.J. will have to get creative offensively and coach up his other backs. Miami of Ohio is a good MAC team, but this is a bridge too far for them. The Gophers should roll comfortably and build momentum for a more fair test in Big Ten play later on. Row Row Row Your Boat Elitely 42, Miami of Ohio 21.

I will have to take your word for it. Gophers 31, Miami (OH) 20.

Eastern Michigan Eagles (+27) vs. Beloved Wisconsin Badgers I can safely say that last week was the most angry I have been at the Badgers since the 2019 game against Illinois, and the BYU game in 2018. Nothing against Penn State and James Franklin, but that game was there for the taking, and the offensive playcalling was unoriginal and reactive instead of being proactive. Where were the jet sweeps, zone reads, option, or any creativity? More importantly, what happened to Graham Mertz? Hopefully this team can clean things up. Eastern Michigan is a terrible MAC team, and the issues I mentioned from last week are easily fixable. The only reason this isn't a Very Special Comment is because this team can be good. All of their goals are in front of them still. But they need to start playing better this week. Badgers 35, Eagles 7.

I was not impressed with the Badgers at all. They tried to out-physical a team with more talent. That's always a poor choice. They'll push around EMU, but there may be some heartburn if Mertz can't get untracked. Wisconsin 31, Eastern Michigan 14.

Oregon Ducks (+14.5) vs. A School In Columbus Offline, I mentioned that Ohio State was taking a big risk having C.J Stroud make his first start on the road in Big Ten play. That being said, I'm happy to admit that I was wrong about it. The freshman looked pretty good, and will get to play in front of a full Horseshoe against Oregon. The Ducks are the favorites in the Pac 12, and are an outside playoff contender. But this is an early start far away from Autzen, where the Buckeyes have only lost to Oklahoma and Virginia Tech in Columbus during nonconference play since 2010. A loss for either team is not fatal to their playoff ambitions, but would remove any margin of error. The Buckeyes will win. Even an ardent hater like myself would never pick against the Buckeyes, right? A School In Columbus 24, 1,000 Uniform Combinations, 0 National Titles 17.

Oregon is going to be good. But not on Saturday. Ohio State 35, Oregon 16.

Minnesota Vikings (-3) vs. Cincinnati Bungles The Vikings were not the drama team through most of the offseason, but thanks to some dumb comments by Kirk Cousins, they became the drama team during training camp. I honestly don't know what to make of the Purple. On the one hand they are really talented. On the other hand, we've seen what happens when the Vikings have expectations. Thankfully, the Bungles are beat up, and still don't have an offensive line. They are also a bit short on the back end of the defense. Since I am starting Justin Jefferson in fantasy football, if he could go off, that would be much appreciated. The Vikings should win this one. If they don't, then listen to KFAN after the game. You'll thank me later. Vikings 31, Bungles 10.

These teams don't play often, but Zimmer was an assistant in Cincinnati for a number of years, so there's still some history there. Vikings are more talented, but. . . Cincinnati 24, Minnesota 20.

Glorious Green Bay Packers (-3.5) vs. New Orleans Saints, in Jacksonville This game was supposed to be in the Dome in New Orleans, but thanks to the impact of Hurricane Ida, we are in Jacksonville. Please donate if you can to charity, as I am sure that there are a lot of people who could use the assistance. As for the game, the Saints have engaged in some gamesmanship. They picked Jacksonville because the Packers historically don't play well in Florida, and because they don't want Packers fans to take over the stadium. They also have taken the shaded sideline, and will probably wear white to force the Packers to wear green. The Saints are beat up with injuries, but the one thing I expect is that Famous Jameis will be ready to go. People forget, but the Saints have won without Drew Brees under Sean Payton in the past. As for the Packers, after an offseason of will he or won't he, 12 will be taking the field as our starting quarterback. With Randall Cobb back as a peace offering, hopefully this year ends with us lifting a trophy in LA. The march starts this week, and I think the Packers can win. Packers 28, Saints 10.

The Saints are really beat up on defense. That's a problem. If they can't get a proper pass rush, Rodgers is going to destroy them. Packers 34, Saints 20.

Enjoy your football this weekend. Ben out!