Well, we finally have a free evening and so my partner in crime Fearless Maria is here to help us take another look at the world of music. So Maria, are you done with school for the year?
YYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so done with school! But I thought you knew that already.
Well, yeah, I did, but maybe your readers didn't know that.
Well, if they couldn't read the word YYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS, I guess they'll have to go back to kindergarten! Too bad, so sad!
Sometimes I wish I could go back to kindergarten, Maria. I really liked naptime!
Lazy dude! You still like nap time, Dad. Here's an example. "I'm going to go watch some football," Dad says at 1 o'clock. Then around 6, Mom says, "Mark, it's time for dinner! This is our third time telling you!"
Well Maria, the Vikings have that effect on me. But never mind that. We're hear to talk about music, not naps, right?
Yeah, baby! Just kidding. So Dad, what songs are in the cupboard today?
Well, Maria, in honor of your summer vacation, I thought we could look at some songs that are related to school. So let's begin. Back around 1972, when I was about your age--
When I'm Sixty-Four!
Let's be fair, Maria, I'm not that old yet.
Just kidding, Dad! You were saying. . . .
Ahem. Yes, as I was saying, back in 1972 Alice Cooper had a big hit that discussed what you're doing right now. Here it is:
So what do you think of that one, Maria?
Freaky dude with a fencing sword, singing an awesome song. Odd combo!
So do you like the girls over to the side in the silly outfits?
What do ya think? Hmm, it's spelled with an "N" and an "O." We learned that word in kindergarten. Do you know what word that is?
Yeah, it's the one I always tell you when you ask for a dog, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah -- you're right, Dad. Guess you didn't sleep through that one in kindergarten, did ya?
Maybe we should move on to the next one. This was from about the same time, actually 1973, I believe. It's Steely Dan, singing about a totally different academic environment:
Well, by the way those girls in the background look, I think that's Unreally Dan. By the way, I hope they still don't sell those clothes at the Mall of America!
No chance of that, Maria. Shall we move on?
Okay then. Speaking of sartorial splendor, check out this next video. It's one of the greats of rock and roll, Chuck Berry, offering his hard-got wisdom about all things scholastic:
Looks like he had to kill a lot of paisley to put that shirt together, huh Maria?
Definitely! Apparently he hasn't heard of "too much color is too much color." What do you think, folks? I'm right, I'm right, I'm right ha ha ha ha ha ha!
True, but that song is probably as good a lesson in rock and roll as any. So he's got that going for him, Maria.
Well, of course he does. He was one of the first guys, right? And he was definitely the first guy to do that guitar walk thing!
Yep. So let's move on to a band that actually stole a Chuck Berry song, but not this one. It's the Beach Boys, suggesting that we should:
So Dad, did the Beach Boys really go surfing wearing long sleeved plaid flannel shirts?
I don't think so, Maria. That wouldn't work very well.
Well, they do need a good washing! I guess they didn't have dry cleaners then?
No, but they never had too much trouble finding matching shirts, that's for sure.
Probably made it easier for their manager to keep the wardrobe straight. Do you have any more songs, Dad?
Why yes. Yes I do, Maria. Here's one from 1980, from a short-lived band featuring two pretty cool dudes, Nick Lowe and Dave Edmunds. It's Rockpile, singing:
Hey Ben, guess what? You've got a new class next year! It's called "Teach Me Love, I Can't Learn It Fast Enough!" And your new teachers are Nick Lowe and Dave Edmunds!
He's got a lot to learn, Maria. But this lesson is complete. And now it's time to vote. Pick your favorite song and put it in the comments.
And Chuck Berry's shirt doesn't count as a song! Sayonara!