Thursday, March 24, 2011

Guilty Pleasures Part Seventy-Seven -- Fearless Maria Gets Groovy

Fearless Maria is here this evening and she's been thinking about some really old music.

Yep -- so old that the Ojibwe Indians even sang it!

Are you sure about that?

Oh yes, of course, haven't you ever read a 5th grade history textbook? Or did you skip 5th grade, too?

I didn't much like 5th grade, to be honest. We moved across town that year and I had to go to a new school and the kids weren't so friendly at first.

Crying. Should I be crying, Dad? Sounds pretty sad to me! Maybe we should pick out some songs, because sad stuff is boring and no one wants to read boring stuff. Like your political posts, right Dad?

I do value your honesty, Maria.

Somebody has to keep you in line! Honest and fair, friendly and helpful, something something something is in the Girl Scout Law after all, and I am a Girl Scout!

Sounds like you need to brush up on the law, though. . . .

Hush! Hush! Wait a minute, I think that's the name of a song from 1968!

Funny you should mention that, Maria. It is. Here's Deep Purple, hanging out someplace that we can't in good conscience recommend, but the clip isn't too bad:

Boy, that singer has some shiny pants! I think that's why the organ player needs sunglasses! And what's with their hair -- maybe a hairspray malfunction? It looks like a bunch of hairy Old English Sheepdogs with tight shiny pants! I bet they had to call the Humane Society!

But did you like the song?

Nah nah nah nah. Actually it was pretty good. But I bet you can find something better. Should we stay in 1968?

We can. I don't know if I can find better, but I can definitely find weirder.

I was afraid you were going to say that, Dad! What do you have this time?

How about a guy named Arthur Brown with a flaming headdress?

I think that guy needs help, Dad. Professional help. I mean, what were they? A bunch of Lord Voldemort wannabes giving a seance? And is it true that the band used his flaming headdress to roast marshmallows over later on? I just hope they never get this confused with that cartoon aardvark Arthur on public television, because that would scare the little kids!

Maybe they could use him for a pledge drive?

A pledge drive? Absolutely not! In the name of wacky headdresses, incorporated!

I bet Garrison Keillor would look good wearing one of those on A Prairie Home Companion.

C'mon, Dad. Now you're just being weird. That would be more like a prairie fire home companion!

Okay, I take your point, Maria. But 1968 had some other stuff that was weird in a different way. How do you feel about sassy country singers wearing go-go boots?

Dad, how am I supposed to feel about it? Oh dear, this sounds (begin Southern accent) lahk one rampage in the humdingah shack, y'all! Livin' a little to hah on the hawg! (end Southern accent).

Already doing dialect in the fifth grade? Well, I guess that's okay. Anyway, as promised, here's a look back at Miss Jeannie C. Riley:

You know what the good thing about this post is, Dad? Now I have a lot of possible candidates for my next Halloween costume! Maybe I could wear a flaming headdress and robe, but with white go-go boots! And I can bring all the candy to the Harper Valley PTA! The song was all right -- I like the pedal steel guitar, but she must have used, what, 14 or 15 cans of hair spray on that do? Is that why they say there's a hole in the ozone layer, Dad? Should I be sending a letter to Jeannie C. Riley? Or maybe a bill?

You can try, Maria. But she wasn't the only one to blame. Consider the strangely lush hairstyles sported by this next band. It's Steppenwolf, flying through the hole in the ozone layer on their:

You know what, Dad?

Tell me what you're thinking, Maria.

I think I'm going to take their advice and close my eyes so I don't have to see that bushy hair, especially on that organ player guy! How many wigs were they wearing? I don't think it's a magic carpet, I think it's just a ride on a shag rug just to make money!

Well, I don't doubt they made money, Maria. Perhaps enough to get a haircut eventually.

Well, they might consider using hedge clippers. Just keep them away from that Arthur Brown guy and his flaming headdress!

Seems like good advice. But the thing about 1968 was that even the pop bands were a little weird. Consider the clothing choices made by Tommy James and the Shondells:

Yeah, yeah! So Dad, did these guys just come back from New Orleans?

Actually, I think they were from Michigan.

Are you sure -- they wearing Mardi Gras beads! And maybe they got hair style recommendations from the parade marchers! I do know this -- Mardi Gras beads and a Nehru jacket is a pretty weird combination. Though I must say I liked the song. It's catchy and a lot of fun. And they even got through it without using a flaming headdress! I'm glad someone did.

I take it that you weren't that impressed with Arthur Brown, then?

Not unless he brings marshmallows, Dad!

I'll tell him to stop by the market before he comes over. Anyway, it's getting to be time to wrap this up.

You did reject a few songs, right?

That's a relief, Dad! Okay, people! Vote for your favorite in the comments section! Maybe if you're lucky, we'll send you a toasted marshmallow in the mail And lay off the hair spray!

Good advice, Maria -- I'd especially lay off the hair spray if you're near Arthur Brown.


Douglas said...

Arthur Brown is alive, sane (if eccentric) and living in Austin, Texas

Gino said...

its a no brainer: Magic Carpet Ride.
love that song, and always have.

can we use it in the next guilty pleasures, too?
and maybe even the one after that?