Saturday, September 29, 2012

Benster and D Pick Your Games -- Under the Wire Edition

Yeah, we're trying to sneak these in under the wire. I was at Benilde-St. Margaret's last night, as I watched the mighty Irondale Knights wreck Benilde's homecoming by the final score of 20-14. The Knights are now 4-1, baby! By the way, how did your high school do last night, old dude?

They lost to Waupaca last night, thus having their own homecoming spoiled. Tough year for the Xavier Hawks.

It happens, old dude. From what you've told me, you're used to football disappointment, especially where your high school is concerned. Didn't you tell me that your team finished 2-7 all four years you were a student there?

That's right. Consistently poor. Kinda like my picking last week.

I was going to say something about that, but I'll let it pass. This time. Meanwhile, time for the HYYYYYPPPPPE! Watch me work.

Minnesota Gooooooolden Gophers (+7) vs. Iowa Hawkeyes. Now, I know that Vegas doesn't pay a lot of attention to the Gophers and this pointspread is no different. C'mon guys -- the Gophers are 4-0 and Iowa is 2-2 with a home loss to Central Michigan on their record. Really? Really? I'd also remind the boys in Vegas that the Gophers have won two straight in this rivalry. They've brought the Pig down to Iowa City with them. They'll be bringing it back. And there won't be any shenanigans in the restrooms. Gophs 14, Iowa 9.

I'd almost forgotten about the rutting Iowans. That was four years ago. A lot has changed in this series. I'm not 100% convinced that the Gophers have turned the corner, but I think this is a winnable game. And lately the characteristic of Jerry Kill teams is that they win winnable games. Gophers 24, Iowa 16.

Beloved Wisconsin Badgers (+11 1/2) vs. Nebraska Cornhuskers. The Badgers looked a little better last week against UTEP. This ain't UTEP. Nebraska will have revenge on its mind after the 48-17 beatdown they took in Madison last year. The Badgers do have a history of playing well on the road in the Big Ten, although last year they lost on a couple of Hail Marys. We don't like Hail Marys around here. Will it come down to a Hail Mary this time? No. Bucky 56, Herbie Husker 31.

Uh, no. The Badgers are better than they've shown so far, but this time they'll be facing a very motivated opponent. Nebraska has defensive issues and I expect the Badgers to score a little, but they won't put 56 up in Lincoln. Nebraska 31, Wisconsin 27.

Minnesota Vikings (+4 1/2) vs. Detroit Lions. So are the Vikings turning the corner? Possibly. Christian Ponder played very well against the 49ers last week and they are playing a team that still doesn't play defense. I mean, really? Tennessee Titans 44, Detroit 41? 44 points? Tennessee had scored 23 points in the two games before they faced Detroit and they hang 44 on the Lions? That spells trouble. In fact, former Lions defensive great Alex Karras had the following reaction to the Lions performance last week:

No, PETA, I'm not taking your calls. Vikes 24, Lions 21.

Good move, young fella. I think the Lions win, because if they don't they're done. But they are a very flawed team and the Vikings are making progress. Just not this week. Lions 31, Vikings 23.

New Orleans Saints (+7 1/2) vs. Glorious Green Bay Packers. Thank you, Roger Goodell. The two angriest teams in the league meet at Lambeau, both harmed greatly by the moronic NFL commissioner. Whatever you think about the Saints, they still have a legitimate grievance. I have seen no evidence of any hits that can be construed as cash motivated. They might have been cheap shots, but there aren't many teams in the league that don't uncork a few of those. And then there's the disgraceful events in Seattle last week. I have a ton of things to say about that, but I'm really trying to keep the old dude happy by making my comments no more than PG-13. So, let's just say this. Roger Goodell is a #@%#(@(#! Further, he can #*@#(%! himself. Although I'm not sure that's actually possible. Anyway, I digress. The Packers are going to play angry and while the Saints are desperate, they haven't been able to stop anybody this year. Good luck with Aaron Rodgers, boys. Packers 100, Who Dat 21.

I admire your restraint, Seabiscuit. And your command of the symbols on top of the QWERTY keyboard. Well done. As for the game, I think it comes down to defense. The Packers have quietly become a top 5 defense this year. Cedric Benson is getting integrated. I think it starts to come together this week. Packers win comfortably. Packers 34, Saints 19.

Bear Down Chicago da Bearz (+3 1/2) vs. Dallas Cowboahs. You know what's funny? As I'm writing this, the Geritol Fan has music playing out of the computer. The song? Mr. Jones, by the Counting Crows. Sing along with me:

That guy needs a better outfit, but those sorts of critiques are Fearless Maria's job. Anyway, da Bearz are going to the house that Mr. Jones built. That would be Jerry Jones, the arrogant kajillioinaire who owns the Cowboys and thinks he's a GM. The Cowboys always have talent, but they can't ever seem to get their act together. It's been almost 20 years since they've been to the Super Bowl. So I have to laugh at Jerry. Ha ha ha! Now that I have that out of the way, let's get to the game. I hate both of these teams with a passion. Could they both lose? That would be best, but it won't happen. So, what will happen? Cowboahs 19, da Bearz 18.

Will Jay Cutler make it through the game without another meltdown? That's the question. I say he does. Bears 24, Cowboys 20.

Well I'm glad the replacement refs are going back to the La Brea Tar Pits or wherever they came from. Good riddance. And Golden Tate? You'll get yours, pal. Ben out!


W.B. Picklesworth said...

All hail mighty Iowa! :-)

Anonymous said...

Nice score prediction on the UW-Nebraska Game!

Gino said...

Go Bears!
as usual, i am cautiously optomistic.