Old dude, it's hard to believe that it has been 14 years.
We've been doing this for 14 years? Good grief, that's a lot of invective. And even more HYYYYYYYPPPPE!
I'm still feeling the HYYYYYYYPPPEEEEE! and I have some words about a certain feud between two coaches from last week.
I suppose it's been seven months and you likely have some bile buildup. You may need to call a plumber.
I'll take that under advisement. It's time to pick some games, and time to watch me work.
Western Illinois Leathernecks (NL) vs. Minnesota Golden Elite Rowers of the Boat So it turns out that the Gophers were able to easily dispatch Jerry Kill and his band of Aggies last week. We will talk more about Jerry The Cable Guy and PJ later on. Western Illinois isn't a particularly fearsome FCS school. And the Gophers aren't exactly playing a cupcake schedule out of conference, because Colorado is someone who is a respected program out of the Power 5. PJ has stopped screwing around in these games since he got burned by Bowling Green. Gophers will row the boat and continue on to greater challenges in the name of both winning but more importantly pushing the Row The Boat brand. Row Row Row Your Boat Elitely 38, Leathernecks 0.
Gophers are serving up more cupcakes than the Heights Bakery these days. The boys from Macomb shouldn't offer a lot of resistance to P.J. and company. On the bright side, Benster, it seems like Tanner Morgan has been doing this for 14 years also. Gophers 31, Leathernecks 3.
Washington State Cougars (+17.5) vs. Beloved Wisconsin Badgers I thought that the Badgers looked pretty good against Eastern Illinois, though it was a shock to see Zack Annexstad still be in college football. Washington State is a team that is going to be an interesting look. They are under a new coach, and they apparently need to improve their run defense. Well, the Badgers run the ball as well as anyone in the country. And for the record, I don't blame Washington State for being angry at the Big Ten for potentially sending them to the Mountain West as a result of the raid of the Pac 12 that has both already happened and might happen with the LA schools and potentially the Bay Area, Washington, and Oregon leaving right behind them. I'd like to see Graham Mertz continue to improve, as he will be needed if the Badgers want to achieve their goals for this year. All in all, this should be a decently comfortable win and then we can look ahead to the trip to the Horseshoe. Wisconsin 42, Washington State 21.
It's also the return of a Badger surplus running back, Nakia Watson, who never saw the field because Jonathan Taylor was, well, a world-class running back. Badgers always have a few of those, of course. Bucky played well last week but there was no challenge in playing Illinois State. Wazzu is a better program and, from time to time, has been formidable. I don't think they'll be able to beat the Badgers in Camp Randall, though. Braelon Allen goes off again. Badgers 38, Wazzu 23.
Glorious Green Bay Packers (-1.5) vs. Minnesota Vikings This is a game that could go either way. We don't know how Aaron will look with his new weapons, and the Vikings are playing their first game under the new regime. For the record, I think Kevin O'Connell was a good hire, though I don't blame the Viking faithful for wanting Jim Harbaugh or DeMeco Ryans. I'm sure that O'Connell has been told that this is the opponent that he can't lose to out of the gate. I do think that Kirk will play pretty well, as he often does against the Packers. It's also great to see that Z is already fitting in with the Vikings by trashing the Packers. After all, some Vikings fans care more about seeing the Packers lose instead of seeing their own team win. In fact, those Vikings fans fit in well with the other two teams in the NFC North. The Packers should win behind a good defensive performance, and I think that Rich Bisaccia's special teams will make 2 positive plays. One of those plays will be a blocked kick or punt. If the Vikings lose, pray for KFAN approved homers Ron Johnson and Corey Cove as they deal with delusional Vikings fans calling for O'Connell and Kwesi Adofo-Mensah to get fired after one game. Packers 28, Vikings 17.
No matter what happens, I'm certain it will be "controversial" according to the Whine Line guys. I have no feel for this game at all; in fact, I really despise the current state of the NFL where preseason games are concerned, because there's nothing we've seen so far that tells us anything about the teams we'll see at U.S. Bank Stadium on Sunday. I think it comes down to this -- can the Vikings play run defense? If they struggle with that, it won't matter that Rodgers doesn't have his preferred receivers any more. Historically, Packers teams that win championships are able to ground and pound. We'll start to see if this team is one of them soon. Packers 24, Vikings 20.
San Francisco 49ers (-6.5) vs. Bear Down Chicago Da Bearz Still Suck So the Bears finally got rid of Matt Nagy and installed Matt Eberflus. I don't know how hiring a defensive minded head coach will lead to improvement by Justin Fields, but these are the Bears. The Niners are in my opinion the sneaky team in the NFC that people are sleeping on. The biggest question for the Niners is how well Trey Lance looks starting ahead of Jimmy G. If Lance looks great, then the Niners would be smart. But the Niners would be wise to remember their recent history. If you remember about a decade ago, I called the Niners tossing aside Alex Smith for Colin Kaepernick a move that the Niners would regret. Well, we all know the story. And before anyone calls this revisionist history due to Kaepernick's kneeling, I didn't like the guy before that controversy started. If Lance fails and Jimmy G goes someplace else and looks really good, then the Niners should fire John Lynch and their entire coaching staff. But thankfully for the Niners and my fantasy team, Lance should win against the Bears. Niners 21, Bears Still Suck 10.
Just a guess -- the Bears are gonna be a dumpster fire this year. I feel bad for Justin Fields, actually. Chicago is a terrible place to be a quarterback. Niners could be offensively challenged to start the year, but I suspect they'll have enough firepower to beat da Bearz. Niners 24, da Bearz 9.
And now, it's time for a Very Special Comment. Before I begin, these are for when I have words for someone, but don't want to derail the main part of the blog post and go off topic.
You can usually see the wisps of steaming coming out of Benster's ears. It may be a more promising source of power than all those windmills in Charles City, Iowa.
So the big controversy here in Minnesota was how the handshake between the head coaches would go last week. Thankfully, the handshakes didn't turn into a WWE match.
What surprised me about the pregame coverage is that local media sources were very quick to come to Fleck's defense over the comments that Kill made about his departure from the Gophers and his thoughts on Fleck implementing his Row The Boat Culture. I realize that Fleck has been popular because he has been winning, but these writers should have been honest that Gopher football hasn't been that bad in my lifetime. Sure, you can say that Tim Brewster did a horrible job, but it's not like the Gophers were the dogs of the Big Ten when Fleck took over. Glen Mason did, by and large, a good job in building the Gophers into a well-respected team during his tenure, and Kill and Tracey Claeys did a great job in rebuilding from what Tim Brewster left behind. As I detailed last year, Kill and Claeys did take the program to a level where they won 8-9 games by the end, recruited the "Empire Class" that was so critical to the 2019 team's success, got Athlete's Village built, and took the Gophers pretty damn close to winning the Big Ten West. I have no problem with calling out Kill for his 2019 interview about Fleck if Fleck's tenure has been put under the same microscope. But it hasn't.
Fleck has beaten Wisconsin both at home and away, but he hasn't beaten Iowa. The 2019 Gophers also had close calls against South Dakota State, Fresno State, and Georgia Southern. Even Fleck's signature win against Penn State required the Gophers to withstand a late Nittany Lions rally. I could also point to Fleck committing a needless unsportsmanlike penalty for running onto the field against Iowa, and the Badgers beating the best team the Gophers have had in my lifetime handily in Minnesota in front of a national audience.
Fleck also makes the Gopher program about himself and his brand. He never talks about the rich tradition that the Gophers have had before him of football excellence. He never mentions Sandy Stephens, Bronko Nagurski, Bernie Bierman, Marion Barber, Tony Dungy, and other legendary Gophers. The official Gopher Football Twitter account has tweeted out a graphic celebrating the Row the Boat culture. Said culture was started at Western Michigan. How come the media in this market never question why Ski-U-Mah turned into Row the Boat? What's wrong with Ski-U-Mah? That's what Kill was upset with. Fleck has taken a football program that has a rich history and was in perfectly good shape and pasted his brand over the brand of the university, all while taking shots at what Kill and Claeys had built. If that happened at Wisconsin, I would call it out. Fleck is your employee who is more focused on building his own brand and vision over the brand of the university and the public. That is a business no-no in just about any other company on the face of the planet.
Look, I don't blame the players or the fans for buying into Fleck. They have good reason to be excited about where the program is. I get that, as a Wisconsin fan, Row the Boat isn't for me. But could the media in this market at least start asking questions about if Fleck cares more about the Gopher football tradition or his own ego? Oh, and if Fleck is reading this and he wants to tell me why I am wrong, I'll meet him in person at a time and place of his choosing.
C'mon P.J. Pick up the phone. Give Benster a call. I'd pay cash money to see it.
Enjoy your football this weekend. Ben out.
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