The newspaper of record

For over 100 years, the New York Times has been considered the "newspaper of record." Sometimes you've got to wonder about that. Consider the lead in this article, published today and reprinted on the Star Tribune website (http://www.startribune.com/10216/story/1496599.html)

After Rush Limbaugh referred to Iraq war veterans critical of the war as "phony soldiers," he received a letter of complaint signed by 41 Democratic senators. He decided to auction the letter, which he described as "this glittering jewel of colossal ignorance," for charity, and he pledged to match the price, dollar for dollar.

If you've been following this story at all, you know two things. First, Limbaugh in no way "referred to Iraq war veterans critical of the war as 'phony soldiers.'" He was referring specifically to a guy named Jesse Macbeath, who never served in the Iraq War; in fact, he was a guy who had not been able to finish basic training. And the letter in question wasn't sent to Limbaugh; it was sent to one of his radio show's main syndicators, Clear Channel. And the letter wasn't just "a letter of complaint," it was essentially designed to put pressure on Clear Channel to take action against Limbaugh, up to and including removing him from the air. The actual addressee of the letter (Mark Mays of Clear Channel) gave the original to Limbaugh, who promptly put it up for auction on eBay, with all proceeds going to a charity that helps Marine veterans.

The good news about all this is that Limbaugh's eBay auction of the letter netted a winning bid of $2.1 million, which Limbaugh will match dollar for dollar.

You have to love the New York Times, though - the lead was nearly 100% wrong. But I guarantee that the Star Tribune won't be the only newspaper that runs this story. It's been 25 years since Don Henley sang these words, but they sure ring true:

We all know that crap is king

Especially for the newspaper of record. Feh.

Kidblogging

Ben and Maria are at it again - they've both put up posts on their blogs. Go see how they're doing and drop them a line of encouragement in the comments section if you have a minute - they are working hard at this blogging thing:

Ben is at www.bens-sportsblog.blogspot.com

Maria is at www.aboutmaria.blogspot.com

Sincerely,

The Management

SCHIP of Fools

Unless you've been living under a rock lately, you've likely heard about the controversy surrounding the SCHIP program, which is designed to provide health insurance for poor children. That's a fairly worthy goal and the program, under its current parameters, generally does a good job. But doing a good job is something that's generally alien to the government, so the brilliant minds of the Democratic Party decided that they should take this modest program and turn it into something that would be more to their liking, i.e., a monstrosity. So they sent a greatly enlarged version of the program to President Bush, at least partly as veto bait. Bush dutifully vetoed the bill and that gave the D's the pretext to start another round of moral preening and a series of really nasty political ads on local television and radio, mostly aimed at making Michelle Bachmann feel miserable.

Well, the veto was sustained today, which led to some really good theater in Washington. Consider this reasoned, measured response from the lovely and talented Fortney "Pete" Stark, whose California district borders that of Speaker Nancy Pelosi:

“I yield myself two minutes. Madam speaker, I, first of all, I’m just amazed that they can’t figure out — the Republicans are worried that they can’t pay for insuring an additional 10 million children. They sure don’t care about finding $200 billion to fight the illegal war in Iraq. Where are you going to get that money? Are you going to tell us lies like you’re telling us today? Is that how you’re going to fund the war? You don’t have money to fund the war on children. But you’re going to spend it to blow up innocent people if he can get enough kids to grow old enough for you to send to Iraq to get their heads blown off for the President’s amusement.”

I would call that unhinged, but that would be too charitable a characterization, no?

Nice to see that the Loyal Opposition is keeping its sense of perspective about things. Honestly, would you want to be President if you had to listen to stuff like that?

A modest proposal from your ol' friend Mr. D - let's have Fortney "Pete" Stark become the Democrats' chief spokesman going forward. He is, I think, the honest voice of the party. He is telling you what a lot of these folks think privately. I truly appreciate his candor. And won't you feel better when Congressman Stark and his pals actually have control of the Congress and the White House, too? Happy days are here again, y'all....

Fearless Dilettante Football Predictions - Teachers Union Uber Alles Edition

The picks come early this week, because it's MEA week here in Minnesota and the teachers' unions have effectively decided that because they need time for their convention (i.e., vacation), that the rest of the state needs to take a vacation, too. Here we go:

Xavier 34, Freedom 24 - Once upon a time, Freedom was a sleepy little crossroads north of Appleton. These days, there are a fair number of people who live up that way. As one of Xavier's new traditional rivals, they'll be a tough match. But the mighty Hawks will prevail on the road.

ACTUAL RESULT: XAVIER 40, FREEDOM 14. In the immortal words of Kris Kristofferson, Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose.

Lawrence 24, Beloit 17 - ol' alma mater gets another chance against a beatable team. But Beloit isn't beating anyone this year. Give the nod to the Larrys, who were once a football powerhouse but not anymore.

ACTUAL RESULT: LAWRENCE 44, BELOIT 19. Another thumping. And next week my beloved Bucs get to travel to St. Norbert, the conference leaders and the most merciless set of Catholics this side of Torquemada.

Wisconsin 41, Northern Illinois 17 - A big bowl of chicken soup from DeKalb arrives for the bedraggled Badgers, last seen getting their butts kicked someplace in Pennsylvania. NIU has had some good teams in recent years, but not this year. Bucky gets a break before returning to the Big Ten.

ACTUAL RESULT - WISCONSIN 44, NIU 3. Finally, the Badgers play up to their potential. Back to reality next week against an improved Indiana squad.

Dallas 41, Vikings 28 - Since my beloved Packers are on bye this week, we turn our attention westward to the Queens. Not surprisingly, the locals are all atwitter about the performance of Adrian Peterson against Team Satan last week. This week they are stepping up in class, though. And NFL teams do adjust. Here's some sample dialogue from Irving, TX:

Dallas Coach 1: Did you see Adrian Peterson? Man, he tore up the Bears.
Dallas Coach 2: Who's the quarterback for the Vikings?
Dallas Coach 1: Tarvaris Jackson, I think.
Dallas Coach 2: That name seems familiar. Didn't his dad play shortstop for the Pirates back in the 70s?
Dallas Coach 1: No, that was Frank Taveras.
Dallas Coach 2: No, I know! Didn't his family put out that song "Heaven Must Be Missing an Angel?"
Dallas Coach 1: No, that was Tavares. Are you auditioning for the pub quiz at Keegan's, or is there a point to this particular line of inquiry?
Dallas Coach 2: Do you think this Tarvaris guy can beat us?
Dallas Coach 1: Not likely.
Dallas Coach 2: I thought so, too. Let's put nine guys in the box to stop Peterson.
Dallas Coach 1: Yep. That'll work.

They're pretty smart in Dallas. And I'm guessing that if Brian Griese can pass for nearly 400 yards against the Vikings, Tony Romo should do at least as well.

ACTUAL RESULT - DALLAS 24, PURPLE HELMETED LOVE WARRIORS 14. Turns out Adrian Peterson is human after all. Okay, Star Tribune, Pioneer Press, WCCO, KARE, KSTP, etc., etc., put down the hype and slowly back away.

BONUS HIGH SCHOOL PICKS:

Cretin-Derham Hall 34, Mounds View 17 - the Big Bad Wolf of Minnesota football comes to Arden Hills tonight. Mounds View is a good, resourceful team, but they don't have the talent to stop this juggernaut.

ACTUAL RESULT - CDH 42, MOUNDS VIEW 7 - The Raiders huffed, and they puffed, and they blew Mounds View's house down.

Irondale 41, Chisago Lakes 24 - Chisago Lakes is a high-scoring outfit and they've put up some big numbers this year. Until last week, so was Fridley. Irondale won't lose focuse tonight with a #1 seed within reach.

ACTUAL RESULT - IRONDALE 36, CHISAGO LAKES 14 - An impressive end to an impressive season. Chisago Lakes is a very good team and will make some noise in the 4A playoffs, but this may be the best Irondale team ever.

Blog Action Day

So I picked up my copy of the Star Tribune on dead tree (bad for the environment, but old reprobates like me are creatures of habit) this morning,and saw an article from Randy A. Salas, informing me that today is the first Blog Action Day. Apparently some 15,000 bloggers are taking part to "raise awareness about environmental issues -- global warming, pollution, anything they want," according to Salas.

Far be it from me to ignore the clarion call of Blog Action Day. So I'm choosing option C - anything I want. After all, the combined voice of the other 15,000 bloggers (in a blogosphere that numbers in the millions) will be the equivalent of spitting in the ocean, despite the front page play in the Strib. Herewith, my tale of environmental awareness.

Many years ago, during my idyllic childhood in Appleton, Wisconsin, I regularly used to cross the railroad tracks on Outagamie Street. There were actually two sets of tracks - the spur that ran near Pierce Park along the river, and the main Chicago and Northwestern line that bisected the town. We used to walk along the main line from time to time as a shortcut to get downtown. One day, I think around 1979 or so, I noticed a shiny puddle of goo on the main line tracks just west of where I crossed on Outagamie Street. The puddle remained there for a long time - weeks, I think. It was clearly a spill of some sort of substance that I couldn't identify - maybe mercury, maybe something else. As my primary purpose for crossing the tracks was to get to Goodland Field, home of the mighty Appleton Foxes minor league team, I didn't pay a lot of attention to the spill.

Around that time, environmental degradation was much in the news and the federal government instituted the Superfund program, which was designed to expedite cleanup of environmental disaster areas. In those days, there was much harrumphing about places like the memorably named Love Canal, which combined the twin attributes of enviromental disaster and a pretty darned good double entendre. We heard endlessly how the Superfund program, under the auspices of the Carter-era Environmental Protection Agency, would finally clean up places like Love Canal. Since I was an impressionable teenager at the time, I probably even believed it.

Well, as the years went on, we learned a few things. First, the supposed environmental degradation at places like Love Canal were not nearly as dire as originally posited. Second, Superfund designation actually slowed cleanup of environmental problems, because such designations made the sites magnets for litigation. And the puddle of goo I'd seen on the tracks west of Outagamie Street? Turns out that it was a chromium spill and the tracks were now a Superfund site. I moved away from Appleton over 20 years ago and I don't know whatever happened with the tracks, but I know this much - it didn't make that much of a difference for the people who lived nearby. These days, I live about a mile south of another Superfund site - the Bell Pole Yards, where big pine logs are soaked in creosote and turned into telephone poles. Sometimes, when the wind is just right, you can get a whiff of the chemicals at my house. But I don't worry about it much.

Nearly 30 years later, global warming (or global climate change, or whatever) is the big story. We are three days removed from Al Gore receiving the Nobel Peace Prize for his tiresome PowerPoint presentation turned feature film. We are being told that we need to turn over vast if unspecified amounts of treasure and liberty to Mr. Gore's acolytes, many of whom were the same people who presided over the Superfund progam. Guess I'd rather go for a swim in the Love Canal.

A worthy recipient

Why the heck shouldn't Al Gore have the Nobel Peace Prize? After all, previous honorees have included such moral exemplars as Yasir Arafat, Le Duc Tho, Rigoberta Menchu and Jimmy Carter. In such company, Gore fits in quite nicely.

There's long been a fundamental difference between the Nobel Peace Prize and the other awards annually given out by the Norwegians. To earn a Nobel in chemistry, or economics, or many of the other categories, you actually have to accomplish something. Let's consider the examples of previous Peace Prize winners. Arafat was an unapologetic terrorist responsible for the deaths of thousands of people, generally in bloodthirsty and remorseless ways. Tho was a representative of a North Vietnamese regime that has the blood of millions on its hands. Menchu is an ineffectual Guatemalan politico whose life story is largely fabricated. Carter is merely the most ineffectual president in modern times. Why not add a pseudo-scientific charlatan to the mix?

At bottom, the Nobel Peace Prize is about confirming the conventional wisdom of leftists. It is useful only as a gauge for measuring the latest obsessions of the bien pensants of the West. Let Al have it - now if the Vatican starts positing Gore for beatification, then I'll get angry.

Fearless Dilettante Football Predictions - New Original Edition

Here we go!

Xavier 34, Omro 17 - this is one of Xavier's new traditional rivalries, now that they have joined a new conference. For the uninitiated, Omro is one of several non-descript towns west of Oshkosh. It's hard to get much animosity going against a something that's non-descript. So the Hawks will simply have to settle for thrashing the unfamiliar on Rocky Bleier Night.

ACTUAL RESULT - XAVIER 51, OMRO 7 -- Rocky is proud of his Hawks; no doubt about it. Rumor has it that next time Omro shows up it will be Greta Van Sustern Day, in honor of a significantly more dubious famous alumnus of XHS.

Illinois College 27, Beloit 14 - My beloved, bedraggled Bucs hit the road for a tussle against the comically named Blueboys of Illinois College. The nickname stems from the Civil War, not from the propensity of IC students to get tangled up in cellophane. In any event, the feeble Bucs lose again, someplace in downstate Illinois. That seems to be a recurring theme for Wisconsin-based squads this year, unfortunately.

ACTUAL RESULT: IC 28, BELOIT 14. Guess the Blueboys made the extra point.

Wisconsin 24, Penn State 17 - The news reports today indicate that ancient Penn State coach Joe Paterno was involved in some sort of road rage incident recently. Give JoePa credit - guys his age usually only get angry by sitting on their porch and shouting "you punks get off my lawn" at passersby. I have no rational reason for picking the Badgers in this game. That's why they'll pull it off, likely late.

ACTUAL RESULT: PSU 38, BUCKY 7. The Badgers haven't been back to the Sun Bowl for a while; guess this will be the year.


Green Bay 31, Washington 21 - When I was growing up in Wisconsin in the 1970s, most kids I knew had a "second team" - that is, an NFL team you could root for besides the Packers, who were usually road kill with Chuck Foreman's tire treads affixed back in those days. My second team was always the Redskins, who were generally successful, and who were the sworn enemy of the evil Dallas Cowboys. Even today, decades on, I still have a soft spot in my heart for the Redskins; when the Packers play the Redskins I'm a bit torn about it. Don't get me wrong - the Packers will win this game. But the Redskins are still dangerous with Joe Gibbs at the helm, despite the odious Daniel Snyder in their owner's box. Favre throws at least 3 TDs.

ACTUAL RESULT - GREEN BAY 17, WASHINGTON 14 - Looks like Favre had a bad day but the Packers won anyway. That's actually an encouraging sign. I'm not clear whether or not the Redskins are a good team. In fact, I'm not sure the Packers are, either. But in the NFC, both are probably going to be in the playoffs, so this one was important. Now comes a bye week. Meanwhile, Adrian Peterson looks like the real deal. Will he be Eric Dickerson or Billy Sims? That's the question.

Bonus local picks:

Mounds View 41, Forest Lake 14 - Forest Lake tends to be an up and down team. This year, they're down. Should be no sweat for the Mustangs.

ACTUAL RESULT: MOUNDS VIEW 21, FOREST LAKE 14. Hey, it's a W.

Irondale 24, Fridley 14 - I've learned my lesson; no picking against the Knights as they continue their magical campaign against a good Fridley squad.

ACTUAL RESULT: IRONDALE 39, FRIDLEY 6. In a season of impressive victories, probably the most impressive yet. Fridley came into this game 5-1 and came out with the worst loss they've suffered in a while. The Knights have a legitimate shot of getting the top playoff seed in their section. And on merit, too.

New toy

I've got a new toy/to keep my head expanding
A new toy/nothing too demanding

So sang Lene Lovich way back in 1981, in sort of a new wave-ish, chanteusey sort of way. But I know how she felt, because I have a new toy myself - a new computer. We've been going back and forth about it for nearly two years now, and with our current financial situation it's perhaps not the most propitious time to make a new investment, but having the new computer will make it much easier for me to pursue things (like my seemingly interminable job search) from home, since my old computer was really old. I mean, really old. I swear the thing had vacuum tubes and said Univac on it. You know, the type of computer that was featured in the Jetsons. And I can finally allow the hamster that powered the old one to have a few weeks off.

So these words are posted courtesy of my new toy - a Toshiba Satellite laptop. My old computer had an absurd 32MB of RAM; this bad boy has 2048MB. My old computer had a whopping 1GB hard drive; this one has 200. And so on, and so on. I also no longer get my internet through the Pony Express; instead the cable boys have turned on the old internet superhighway fire hose. And my son is hungrily circling the computer even as I attempt to type this - with the high speed internet connection, he can now access all manner of brain rot much faster than before.

I do have a new free-lance writing gig for the end of the month, which will run up close to Christmas. So things are getting better. After the year we've had here in 2007, we take our victories where we can find them.

Worst. Football. Weekend. Ever.

Man, did it stink. Let's pick at the bones a bit.

First reports were out of the lovely Fox River Valley. Xavier loses to Waupaca. Okay, so you don't want to see the ol' high school lose, but there's not a lot of shame in it. Stuff like that happens, especially at a school that has seen a lot of lean years on the gridiron. But it would get worse.

Illinois 31, Wisconsin 26. Thankfully, I didn't see much of this game. What I did see was no fun at all. The Illini were dominant at times and always seemed to have an answer whenever the Badgers would rally. The only good thing was the Badgers didn't fold up once they were down 17-0. If Bucky can rebound at Penn State, the season could still be a good one. Otherwise, hello Alamo Bowl, or worse.

Ripon 56, Beloit 9. As has been pointed out in this space, Bucs rhymes with sucks. Still, you hate to see your alma mater get destroyed. The fact that this was the Beloit homecoming game makes it doubly galling. Ed DeGeorge coached at Beloit for nearly 30 seasons; this new guy has it in a shambles in only two. On the other hand, if there were any early 70s Beloit alumni in attendance at the game, the result would have been quite familiar.

Team Satan 27, Packers 20. I did see this game, pretty much in its entirety. What an opportunity wasted. The Packers were sloppy all game and their sloppiness bit them in the butt in the end. Based on what I saw, the talent gap between the two teams has now closed; arguably, the Packers may have better overall talent. This is a credit to the much-maligned Ted Thompson, who has quietly assembled a nice looking team, especially on defense. You have to give the Bears credit; under Lovie Smith, they are smart enough to accept a gift victory. There were times under previous regimes where the Packers would have gotten by with such a performance. Not now.

Was there any good news? Well, my son's prospective high school, lovely and long-suffering Irondale, pulled off the big upset, beating a formidable Benilde-St. Margaret team 13-7 on a very muddy field somewhere in the wilds of St. Louis Park. The win puts Irondale at 5-1 and on track for their best season in probably 20 years. Next up are the dreaded Fridley Tigers.

Still, not much to hang your hat on. Especially when the Illinois hordes are the ones who get the Ws. Enjoy it, FIBs!

Fearless Dilettante Football Predictions - Grudge Match Edition

Some big rivalries this week. So let's hop to it.

Xavier Hawks 34, Waupaca Comets 24 - From what I hear, this has been a pretty good rivalry lately. I don't know - when I was in school, we were playing teams like Roncalli. The game's at home, so favor the mighty Hawks.

Ripon College Politically Correct Recasting of Their Traditional Name Redmen 34, Beloit Bucs 7 - The Red Horde (Red Scourges, perhaps?) from Ripon spoils yet another homecoming for ol' alma mater. Beloit once went nearly 30 years between victories in this series. Some things never change.

Wisconsin Badgers 41, Illinois Fighting Illini 37 - Bucky has figured out how to score; good thing, too, because Illinois is a good team and this will be a tough contest on the road. I should probably say something disparaging about the Illini, but I'm feeling magnanimous. After about two decades in the wilderness, the Illini seem to have their act together. Come back Jason Verduzco, all is forgiven.

Green Bay Packers 31, Chicago Bears 17 - The vaunted Bears defense is all banged up and the Packers are pretty good at stopping the run. That means trouble for Team Satan. Figure that Bernard Berrian gets loose once and that Devin Hester does too, but that's about it. Meanwhile, Favre gets at least two more TDs against a depleted Bears secondary. Good times for now, but much work remains....

Meanwhile, in local news:

Mounds View Mustangs 34, Robbinsdale Armstrong 21 - Our green-clad heroes step out of conference against a pretty good Classic Lake team. Home field advantage should make the difference here. Note to Badger backers - Armstrong is the alma mater of new Badger kickoff man David Gilreath.

Benilde-St. Margaret Red Knights 14, Irondale Knights 10 - Hope I'm wrong about this, but Benilde is a tough outfit, especially on defense. BSM also happens to be my mother-in-law's alma mater, so I'd better tread lightly in my commentary.

Baseball's second season

Alas, neither my beloved Brewers nor the local heroes were able to fight their way into the baseball playoffs. Still, we have some fine matchups ahead. Time for a Dilettante preview.

Cubs vs. Diamondbacks - You have to give the Diamondbacks credit for their season; they have been highly successful even though their team is young and prone to mistakes. They have one outstanding starter in Brandon Webb, an excellent bullpen and some good young hitters. But that won't be enough to beat the Cubs, I think. We've done a lot of Cub bashing around here, but an objective look at the team reveals a squad that matches up very well in this series. I think the key is Ted Lilly; if he can win Game 2, the Cubs will win this matchup quickly, most likely in Chicago. Cubs in 4.

Rockies vs. Phillies - I haven't been able to see the Rockies very much, but when I have I've been impressed. Troy Tulowitzki may end up stealing Rookie of the Year away from Ryan Braun of the Brewers and Matt Holliday is one of the best players in the majors, even though I don't think he actually touched home when he scored the winning run on Monday night. His reward for lazy umpiring is a visit to Philadelphia. Can the Phillies ride their formidable lineup into the World Series, despite having Kyle Lohse in their rotation? Maybe. As a former crafty lefty (wiffle ball division), I admire Cole Hamels and the ancient Jamie Moyer a lot. Phillies in 5.

Yankees v. Indians - I have seen the Indians a fair amount this season, including twice at the Metrodome. They are a fine team with balance and two really good pitchers in C.C. Sabathia and the nasty Fausto Carmona. The Yankees fear no one, of course, and they appear to have their starting pitching squared away at precisely the right time. Their lineup, the best that money can buy, is second to none. But they'll have to win at least once in Jacobs Field. The guess here is that they won't. Indians in 5.

Angels v. Red Sox - Another matchup among members of the baseball plutocracy. The Angels come into this series beat up, without Gary Matthews Jr. The Red Sox have shelved Tim Wakefield. Which hurts more? Losing Matthews, I think. And Josh Beckett has already proven he can take the ball in the big game. Red Sox in 4.

We'll revisit this matter in about a week or so, eh?

Non-apology apologies

Pet peeve time - sorry for going into Andy Rooney mode, but I wanted to warn you up front, in case you want to find something more edifying. Otherwise, stay tuned for a rant.

To my mind, one of the most useless things in the world is the non-apology apology. You know what I'm talking about - someone says or does something that is offensive, the person offended complains, and the offender says something like this:

"I'm sorry if you're offended by that."

Not to put too fine a point on it, but what the hell does that really mean? There's no regret for the offense; in fact, it's really a second insult couched in terms of an apology. The hidden message is this - well, dummy, you shouldn't have been offended by that, but since you're such a baby about it, I guess I'll put it back on you. You're not really entitled to your feelings, anyway.

I've been thinking about this in the context of two recent events: the controversy surrounding the MoveOn.org ad that referred to Gen. David Petraeus as "General Betray Us"; and the ginned up controversy about Rush Limbaugh allegedly calling soldiers who complain about war policy as "phony soldiers."

First, the Petraeus thing. In my view, MoveOn stepped in it by running this ad. It was intellectually shoddy at best, dishonest at worst, and clearly an insult. But having said that, it was also free speech. Immediately the calls went out for MoveOn to apologize for the ad. As of this writing, I don't think they have apologized. Any apology they would have offered would have been of the non-apology apology type anyway, so I'm glad that as of this writing they have not apologized for attacking Petraeus.

The ad clearly hurt MoveOn and its portsider allies. They received all manner of denunciations, including an official one from Congress. This was silly, of course, but it was instructive. It showed that the current Congress is a lot more interested in style points than in substance and the ad itself revealed the contempt that MoveOn has for the military. All in all, this bonfire of recriminations was perfect. And the Left was hurt by it.

Enter Limbaugh. During the course of his show last week, a caller brought up the case of Jesse McBeth, a soldier who had been drummed out of the army in basic training. McBeth had become a cause celebre on the Left because he had made a series of lurid (and false) charges about actions that soldiers had taken in the war. These charges were repeated and amplified in the news media for days before the truth came out. In discussing this matter, and a number of similar incidents, Limbaugh referred to "phony soldiers." Media Matters, which is a sister organization to MoveOn.org (both are supported by George Soros, among other things) immediately started beating the drums and claiming that Limbaugh had insulted the troops, especially those who had served yet did not support the war. Suddenly Limbaugh was on the defensive and was facing demands from the likes of Harry Reid that he apologize for his "slur" of the troops.

Limbaugh did not apologize, of course. His quote was deliberately taken out of context and used against him. Despite that, plenty of politicians jumped on the bandwagon, including Norm Coleman, who is currently in a tight re-election campaign against the highly silly Al Franken.

I am happy that, in both instances, apologies were not forthcoming. In my mind, Limbaugh has nothing to apologize for - he clearly didn't say what Media Matters claimed he'd said. As for MoveOn, there is no doubt their message wasn't garbled - they paid for the ad in question. But in both cases, the views expressed were worth hearing.

Here's the thing about free speech - we are free to speak our minds in this country. But that doesn't mean we get a free shot; by that, I mean that a dumb or mendacious statement can backfire on you. And it should. You get in the arena - you have to expect that you're going to take some shots. Our political discourse and our political culture would be better if we stopped looking for apologies and, more importantly, stopped accepting non-apology apologies. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Here's the irony - the two politicians in this country who actually say what they mean and mean what they say the most often are probably George W. Bush and Dick Cheney - especially Cheney.

There. I said it. And I meant it. And if you're offended, no apologies.

Blue and orange blues

After an exciting and ultimately enjoyable weekend of football, Cheesehead Nation is faced with the specter of something truly ugly. Something known for corruption, venality and evil. Something that calls for a thorough horsewhipping and probably some disinfectant wipes.

That's right - it's an Illinois double-feature.

Badgers vs. Illini
Packers vs. Bears

It's sometimes difficult for Minnesotans to understand, especially Vikings fans who consider the Packers their fiercest, most hated rival. But it needs to be said - Wisconsinites harbor their greatest enmity for the precincts to the south. For Illinois.

You will get arguments among Badger fans about the school they hate the most. The longest, most traditional rivalry is with the University of Minnesota, but the Golden Rodents have been rebuilding for most of my lifetime and, generally, the Badgers have owned them since Barry Alvarez came to Madison. Some people hate Michigan or Ohio State the most, but everyone hates those schools, so there's nothing particularly special about the rivalries. Then there is the University of Illinois. The Illini are a schizophrenic amalgam of ag school hickishness and Chicago Alderman chicanery. No school has been caught cheating more often than the Illini. They have employed rogues like Mike White and Lou (Shingle Head) Henson. The Illini have been up and down, and mostly down, for a while, but under new coach Ron Zook they look like they are coming back. And the Badgers, now ranked #5 in the land, are going down to lovely Champaign with a huge target on their backs. For me, a non-alum but longtime follower of the Badgers, my personal opinion is that beating Illinois is hugely enjoyable. As the parody version of the Illinois fight song goes:

You're out of the race, Illinois
We spit on your face, Illinois

Feel the love. Then there's this beauty:

Q. What do you call a dead pig on a tractor?
A. The University of Illinois homecoming parade.

Ah, but the hatred gets turned up a notch the next day.

The Packers have been playing the Bears (a/k/a Team Satan) since the dawn of the National Football League. This rivalry has been filled with insult, injury and chest-thumping for over 80 years now. George Halas was a giant, no doubt about it, but his Bears have been villains since the league began. The Monsters of the Midway (a name stolen from the University of Chicago, by the way). There are many enduring images of the Bears, including a snarling Dick Butkus, the impossibly graceful Gale Sayers, the indomitable Walter Payton and the google-eyed Mike Singletary. Oh, the players. Meanwhile, we've sent the Alabama Antelope (Don Hutson), the Golden Boy (Paul Hornung), the Good Soldier (Bart Starr) and Ol' Number 4 (Brett Favre) into battle. So much fun. So much hatred. And so much history. With the Packers coming into the game 4-0 and the Bears suffering through a disappointing start, this one has the makings of a real war.

And now that the Brewers/Cubs rivalry is heating up, it could be open war in places like Kenosha and Waukegan, Beloit and South Beloit, Dickeyville and Galena. The jawing starts here!

Ping ping PING

Apparently that means Sheriff Richochet Rabbit is in town, or I've turned the blog over to a golf manufacturer, or the bullets are flying again.

• Things are changing at the ol' Star Tribune. Shortly on the heels of the forced departure of Publisher Par Ridder, the great minds on Portland Avenue have forced out editorial page chief Susan Albright and moved the eternally useless ombudsman Kate Parry off to the "health" beat. Don't know if these changes mean that the Star Tribune editorial page, which has been as useful and pleasant as 55-gallon drum of duck vomit on most issues, will start to regain a little sanity. Probably not. But we can always hope that maybe, just maybe, the level of ignorant snark will start to come down a bit. After all, we'll give you ignorant snark right here and we don't charge you a thing! And I don't employ Sid Hartman either.
• My beloved Brewers aren't looking too good, following an embarrassing 9-5 loss to the Padres. The Cubs have been trying really hard to give away the pennant, but the Brewers do not appear to have the wit to take it. I hope that the Brewers can secure a few more reliable pitchers for next season, because they look like they're on their way otherwise. On the bright side, at least I'm not a Mets fan.
• We've been watching parts of Ken Burns's latest saga "The War," on PBS this week. As with all Ken Burns productions, it's very good, although it's a bit much for the kids at times, especially with all the corpses. It's somewhat amusing to see how such things get interpreted by my daughter. She was asking my wife about her 2nd grade teacher, whose surname is Opheim, which is a good Scandanavian name, I believe. My daughter had assumed he was Irish, since she knows various O'Briens and O'Doughertys and came to the conclusion that since her teacher's name starts with an O, he must be Irish too. My wife suggested that his name might be German. My daughter then said, horrified, "Oh No! That means he's from Hitler!" I believe my wife was able to set my daughter straight, otherwise it may make for an interesting conversation in the class next time.
• Even though "The War" is heavy going, it's a lot better than most of what's on television these days. Have you watched Cartoon Network recently? My goodness, it makes my eyes hurt. Some of the cartoons we used to watch when we were kids were pretty crudely drawn, of course - no one will ever say that "Clutch Cargo" or "Underdog" were exactly the pinnacle of the art form. I tell you, though, watching an episode of "Ed Edd and Eddie" is like having an allergic reaction.
• Savoir Faire is everywhere!
• Okay, cheesehead readers, here's one for you. Remember Biggie Rat? It was the best scary story going on the St. Therese playground back in the early 70s. Whatever happened to that?

Fearless Dilettante Football Predictions - Recriminations Version

Another week, more fun. Here we go:

Xavier Hawks 34, Fox Valley Lutheran Foxes 21 - it's the grudge match, the holy war, against the cross-town rivals. Since FVL is a WELS school, they tend to bring a fair amount of, shall we say, fervor to these games against my beloved representatives of the papist menace. But they won't win against the mighty Hawks.

ACTUAL RESULT - XAVIER 42, FVL 14. So much for the Lutherans.

Lake Forest Foresters 9, Beloit Bucs 2 - Another week, another weak sister for the Bucs. Problem is, the Bucs are weaker. Hope I'm wrong about this.

ACTUAL RESULT - LAKE FOREST 44, BELOIT 36 Beloit looks ahead and sees a 9, as in 0-9. Sigh.

Wisconsin Badgers 34, Michigan State Spartans 31 - after a two year hiatus, the Badgers get another look at the immortal Jehuu Caulcrick. Sparty is always hard to gauge, since they usually have talent but are almost always erratic. Bucky gets the nod on the Camp Randall turf.

ACTUAL RESULT - WISCONSIN 37, MICHIGAN STATE 34 That turned out to be a pretty good pick. The Badgers have work to do - the defense got gashed repeatedly. I think Sparty will end up having a pretty good year. The next two weeks (at Illinois, at Penn State) will really tell the tale.

Green Bay Packers 17, Minnesota Vikings 10 - I know, I know, the Metrodome has been the house of horrors over the years for ol' number 4. But I don't see how the Vikings will be able to score much under the leadership of the feared Kelly Holcomb. And no, Darren Sharper, Favre will not break the interception record this week. He very well might break the touchdown record, though, probably on a slant pattern to Driver. You know, the one where you get there late and miss him and watch his heels for about 40 yards. Yep, that one.

ACTUAL RESULT - PACKERS 23, VIKINGS 16 Okay, so it was Greg Jennings. Same difference. An excellent win. Here's a question: for all the words written about Favre's supposed futility in the Metrodome, do you suppose any other NFL quarterback has beaten the Vikings in Minnesota on six different occasions? I doubt it.

High school bonus picks:

Mounds View Mustangs 34, Park of Cottage Grove Wolfpack 20 - Park is improved, it appears, but they aren't usually a factor in the rugged Suburban East. Mounds View is. The tough games are coming, though.

ACTUAL RESULT - PARK 21, MOUNDS VIEW 14 Park played a nice game.

Irondale Knights 35, St. Louis Park Orioles 7 - Irondale has improved a lot this season. St. Louis Park, not so much.

ACTUAL RESULT - IRONDALE 56, ST. LOUIS PARK 7. The fun stops this week - Irondale has a tough one against Benilde-St. Margaret. If they can beat Benilde, they could have a special year (and might be the #1 seed in their section).

Mahmoud Ring

I've really been trying to stay away from the recent contretemps surrounding the visit of the odious Mahmoud Ahmedinejad to New York, especially the silly Kabuki theater that was presented at Columbia University, the once proud home of such intellectual giants as Jacques Barzun and Lionel Trilling, now reduced to a geopolitical version of the Jerry Springer show.

Given everything that the Iranian government has done - the hostage crisis, bankrolling Hezbollah, threatening to wipe Israel from the face of the earth - it is amazing that anyone could, with a straight face, support the regime. But sure enough, people do. I've been doing a little jousting on the subject over at "The Big Question" again and I have learned remarkable things. Apparently, based on the earnest pleadings of the bien pensants over there, Iran has been undergoing a regular Prague Spring and that free speech is in flower, including protests against the malodorous Ahmedinejad. Why, if we would simply leave the Iranians alone, there would be the flowering of freedom there. Really, it's true.

Because I've been, shall we say, a smidge skeptical of some of these claims, I've been labeled "deliberately obtuse." Now that's a badge of honor - I sincerely hope that I'm never able to make enough distinctions that I would be willing to somehow excuse a government that routinely terrorizes its people and whose titlular head claims, with a straight face (pun intended), that there are no homosexuals in Iran.

I don't remember who said it, it may have been Orwell, but the quote that comes to mind is this - there are some ideas that are so stupid that only an intellectual could believe them.

Hate Crimes on Waveland Avenue

As readers of this feature may know, this blog recently joined the Minnesota Organization of Bloggers (a/k/a the MOB). There are something like 100 blogs that are members and they span the spectrum of blogging. One blog I like to read is the Northern Alliance Wannabe (www.northernalliancewannabe.blogspot.com), which is hosted by a guy who happens to be a Cubs fan. The Cubs have been, to put it mildly, a bone of contention on this blog, which tends to be a bastion of Brewerdom. To make a long story short, the Wannabe linked to this blog and called one of my earlier Cub-bashing posts a "hate crime." While I suspect the Wannabe's tongue may have been pretty firmly lodged in his cheek, that sort of rhetoric practically begs for a response, no?

My particular cri de couer against the Wrigleyites stems from their long-standing charade as lovable loser underdogs. There is no question that the Cubs have been losers for a long time; they last won a World Series in 1908. There is also no question that they have been, at times, somewhat lovable. My father, God rest his soul, was a lifelong Cub fan, as were many people who came of age in Wisconsin prior to the arrival of the Braves (and later Brewers). I have strong memories of watching the Cubs on WGN back in the 1970s, when the Cubs featured the likes of Manny Trillo, Larry Biittner (not a typo, that's how it's spelled), Ivan de Jesus, Barry Foote and other such dubious luminaries. It seemed like every other game you'd see portly righthander Rick Reuschel on the mound, throwing his precise sinkers to various Pirates and Phillies and Cardinals. And accompanying the visuals would be the dulcet tones of Jack "Hey Hey" Brickhouse, with the high pitched yelpings of Lou Boudreau through the middle innings. The Cubs of that era weren't very good, but they were generally entertaining.

We are a long time removed from those days. The Chicago Tribune bought out the Wrigley family in the early 1980s and the Cubs went from being a mom and pop operation to part of a well-oiled corporate machine. The talent level improved and the Cubs began to feature some really good players, like Ryne Sandberg, Rick Sutcliffe, Andre Dawson, Mark Grace, Greg Maddux and Sammy Sosa. Money was never the issue; the Cubs were able to afford talent in ways that my beloved Brewers or teams like the Twins and Royals never could. But they didn't win anyway. The Cubs got really close in 2003, but have scuffled ever since.

This year it looks like they will win. They went out and bought the best free agent on the market, Alfonso Soriano, and they also brought on a number of other high-buck players. The lovable Cubs behaved more like the Yankees. And it looks now like this approach will at least get them into the playoffs.

So be it - I don't dispute that there are a lot of Cubs fans who have suffered their entire lifetimes, waiting for a chance to see a championship. It had to be especially galling for these folks to watch the downmarket White Sox win it all in 2005. Having spent five years in Chicago, I recognize the animosity between the North Side and the South Side. I used to eat at the Billy Goat at least once a month, so I know well the legendary curse. And, after watching the most insufferable of fans, the odious Red Sox Nation, celebrate a championship as well, Cubs fans have to be even more galled by it all. Perhaps this will be the year.

Enjoy it, Cubs fans. Just watch your back. The Brewers aren't going away. And for the first time in a long time, the eternal cry of "Wait until next year" has meaning in Milwaukee and throughout Wisconsin.

A little gushing about my Packers

When I first looked at the schedule, I was worried that my beloved Green Bay Packers would start out 0-3 and would be limping into the Metrodome. Guess not, huh? The Packers won their third game in a row to start this campaign with a convincing 31-24 victory over AFC power San Diego yesterday at Lambeau. This is good stuff for a number of reasons:

• It looks like the Packers, even though they are playing well, have room to improve. They still haven't figured out how to run the ball effectively, but they are finding ways to score. Brett Favre is playing under better control now than he has perhaps in his entire career. He had a fantastic game yesterday, getting a number of receivers involved.
• After the renovation of Lambeau was completed in 2002, the Packers have not defended their home turf very well. Teams were not especially worried about playing in Green Bay, especially AFC teams. The Patriots and the Jets came into Lambeau last year and absolutely wiped the turf with the Packers. Things appear to have changed.
• There's no reason to believe the Bears are better than the Packers right now. While the Bears still have a tremendous defense, they are an absolute mess on the other side of the ball. Rex Grossman ought to be made an honorary Packer, given the way he's been sabotaging the efforts of the ursine wretches of McFetridge Drive.
• The Lions may be improved, but the Iggles just hung 56 on them. The Lions haven't played adequate defense since Alex Karras left. Where have you gone, Lem Barney, a nation turns its lonely eyes to you.
• As for our local fellas - I don't know about you, but I can't tell you how disappointed I am that the Packers never had a chance to interview Brad Childress. The Vikes are vanilla and not that talented - a bad combination. It used to be that the Vikings could plug in just about anyone at the quarterback position and they would still win. Not any more. I don't think the Packer defense is especially worried about Kelly Holcomb, Tarvaris Jackson or Brooks Bollinger.
• Since my boys are coming to town this weekend, the jawing will begin. Although the way the Vikes are playing right now, the typical stance of most Vikings fans will be something like "oh, I don't really like the Vikings that much anyway." Some will looking to see if they still have any greenish, mid-90s gear around. A lot of that sort of thing sold up here back then.

Kill the umpire/Talk to Mr. Ed

After a tough weekend in Atlanta, it appears that the Brewers are going to fall short to the po' faced Chicago Cubs, with their $100-$200 payroll and legions of addled fans. Too bad - the Brewers have been a nice story this year and while the future looks bright, this does not appear to be the year for them. So the Cubs will likely move on; if justice is served, they'll lose to the Padres, just like they did in 1984, or the Mets, just like they did in 1969, or maybe the Diamondbacks, just for variety's sake.

The frustration reached a head yesterday, following a 7-4 loss to the Braves. The Brewers were convinced that the umpiring in the game was substandard; based on the film I saw, they may be right. The problem is the same thing, however: if you really want to be a champion, you have to win games convincingly enough that if a referee blows a call, it doesn't cost you the game. I will never forget Jerry Rice's obvious fumble in the 1998 NFC playoffs that cost the Packers a hard-fought victory; in fact, it was the only time the 49ers have beaten the Packers in the Brett Favre era. But the larger problem was that the Packers should have put the 49ers away a lot earlier.

The problem now, of course, is that suspicion of officiating is running much higher, and rightly so after the revelations that have recently rocked the NBA in the wake of the Donaghy scandal. Baseball umpires have been notably imperious for at least the last 20 years and you'd be hard pressed to find a more obvious narcissist than NFL referee Ed "Check Out the Gun Show" Hochuli whose explanations of rules have enough distinctions to make Bertrand Russell's head spin. I've always believed that officials are best when they aren't noticed, but we seem to have some budding thespians in the officiating ranks in our modern era. It's too bad, really - no one pays to see Ed Hochuli or Ed Montague or Ed Rush. Why are all these guys named Ed, by the way? My dad would be aghast; I'm betting my nephew Eddie is, too.

Trash talking

My son, Ben, is a fine fellow. He's 11 years old and brings his father great joy. But he has one quirk - he really dislikes my beloved Milwaukee Brewers. And he's not subtle about it. I commend to your attention his blog, which features a fountain of Brewers bashing, along with my rejoinder to the calumnies Ben heaps on my beloved Brew Crew:

www.bens-sportsblog.blogspot.com

I'll say this for my son - for an 11 year old kid, he's got the trash talking thing down pat. He could take over for Jim Rome except that he's too young to grow a ridiculous goatee.

It's an odd sensation, 25 years on, to actually have the Brewers in a pennant race. And that the adversary is the Cubs is doubly odd. I remain hopeful that this particular pennant race will be the one in which the Cubs finally lose their cuddly, lovable loser persona. As we've said before, they are no such thing. Any team with a payroll over $100 million cannot be considered a plucky underdog. The irony is this - if the Cubs actually get in, this might be their best chance to get to the World Series yet. The rest of the teams in the NL are eminently beatable. The Diamondbacks have been winning with mirrors all season. The Padres have two dominant starters and not much else. The Mets are talented but incredibly erratic. Ditto on the Phillies.

All four prospective AL teams are better than anyone in the NL. Which one is the best? That's a topic for a future post.

The Best Day of the Year – 16th Anniversary Edition

Today is my wedding anniversary. I have had the great fortune to be married to Jill for 16 years; we have come through many challenges together and every day I continue to see something new because of our marriage. We’ve come a long way since that cool, cloudy September day back in 1991.

I’ve seen articles recently about the state of marriage generally; it turns out that over half of the marriages that took place 25 years ago ended in divorce, according to a recent study of the matter. It’s almost impossible to make generalizations about such things, but one thing I’ve noticed is that of our closest friends, including those made here and from our respective childhoods, hardly anyone has been divorced. I don’t know if it’s a statistical quirk, but we and our married friends are beating the odds.

You could speculate endlessly about the reasons for it, but I think the most important reason is simple: Jill and I work at our marriage and we fundamentally see the world in the same way. We’ve changed since those days – I have long since dropped the Angry Young Man pose I so enjoyed in my youth and Jill has gained wisdom and patience over the years. What we’ve seen in our friends’ marriages mirrors our own experience; no matter what happens, our friends have been able to adjust to the inevitable changes that come throughout a marriage.

So tonight we’ll go someplace, have a nice dinner and perhaps a libation or two. And when I look into her eyes, I’ll gain yet another reminder of how lucky I am.

Fearless Dilettante Football Predictions - Reader's Digest Version

Only have a minute or two to post, so here you go!

Xavier 31, Berlin 7 - the Hawks win their homecoming game against hated Berlin, which still uses the politically incorrect nickname of Indians. I didn't think that was legal in Wisconsin.

Beloit 2, Knox 2 - the only team in the league that Beloit might beat. But I don't think they will

Wisconsin 21, Iowa 3 - The Hawkeyes have trouble scoring. That's been a long-standing problem in Iowa (rim shot).

Green Bay Packers 24, San Diego Chargers 21 - If you're going to be a hopeless zealot, you have to be a hopeless zealot. And the Packers are playing pretty well so far.

Bonus local picks:

Mounds View Mustangs 24, Roseville Raiders 17 - I picked against Mounds View last week. Won't make that mistake again.

Irondale Knights 31, Robbinsdale Cooper Hawks 14 - The Knights are much improved. Cooper is, well, Cooper.

Rave on, Dilettante

For the bullets are flying again.

• People may not have noticed since the price of a gallon of gasoline has gone down nearly 50 cents here in the Twin Cities since Labor Day, but the price of oil is now sitting at over $80 a barrel, the highest it has been in recent years. Supplies are not a problem, so it would seem odd that we're seeing so much speculation about it. But I think there's a reason and the reason is the recent, barely publicized Israeli air strike on Syria. I would commend to your attention the account of Bret Stephens of the Wall Street Journal, which you can find at www.opinionjournal.com . Couple this with reports from the British magazine Jane's that a Syrian-Iranian WMD joint venture went awry in recent days, killing a number of Syrian military officers and Iranian scientists, and you may have a better understanding. Events may be in the saddle again and if this stuff turns out to be true, those who have been calling for us to stop fighting in the Middle East are going to start to look even more foolish than before.
• In happier news, the Brewers have pulled back into a tie with the Cubs and may be back in the driver's seat in the Comedy Central pennant race. It seemed from my perch that the national media had written the Brewers off entirely, but this team is resilient. Maddeningly inconsistent, too, but let's focus on the bright side. If the Brew Crew can get through the weekend in Atlanta no more than one game back, I really like their chances. It's been 25 years since they've been to the playoffs and now would be a good time. And, not to put too fine a point on it, screw the Cubs. Their cuddly image, which hides the big-market, big-buck reality of their corporate ownership, has been a fraud for years. The Cubs are big-market bullies, just like the Yankees and the Red Sox. They are simply not as good at it.
• We've had a lively discussion on this blog about the relative merits of the two major college basketball programs in Wisconsin. My great friend Mark Miller, majordomo of Wisconsin hoops, roots for the Marquette Warriors (around here, they will always be the Warriors), while various other commenters are Badgerphiles. From my perch in Minnesota, I simply envy my friends. Based on the performance of the Golden Gophers, it is safe to say that we don't have major college basketball in Minnesota. Perhaps someday, though - a fella can dream, right?
• So we have O.J. in a courtroom, the Clinton campaign in trouble for taking dirty Chinese money, and Hillary rolling out a new scheme to nationalize the health care system by salami slice. I need to check a calendar to make sure it's not 1994. If I see Forrest Gump showing at the multiplex, I'll know for sure. I think it was Karl Marx who said that history happens twice, the first time as history, the second time as farce. Although when it comes to farce, my favorite Marx is probably Harpo.

Vegass and other things that I wish would stay there

So did we really need O.J. Simpson back in the news? Nope, I didn't think so either. But he was only one of a few unwanted things that happened over the weekend.

• Please, please, would someone telly Sally Field that America really doesn't care what she thinks about the war? I could have guessed she was agin' it.
• Now that Al Gore has been given an Emmy for his Current venture, which is a lot like YouTube except much less successful, I'm wondering what other awards he should get. Perhaps a Peabody, a Newbery, a Fulbright, a MacArthur "Genius" Grant, and certainly the Pillsbury Bake-Off. Sheesh.
• Alan Greenspan and Vicente Fox are the latest luminaries to come out with books that bash W. I may have to write one myself; there seems to be an almost-limitless market for Bush-bashing.

Condolences also to followers of Minnesota football. As much as I want to complain about the Badgers and their lackluster performance against The Citadel, at least they didn't lose to Florida Atlantic, which I thought was a tea company. And it's only a matter of time before the Vikings are looking like the late 90s Badgers, with Childress and Bollinger at the helm. All they need is Mike Samuel and it will be perfect. Was that gloating? Naahh, it couldn't have been gloating.

Q. What do you call a Viking with a Super Bowl ring?

A. A thief.

Still a great joke, 40 years and counting....

Time for a new look

Blogger has some new templates and I have decided to ditch the dots. I think this is cleaner and it matches the format I use for online activities. Hope you like it!

Yo, Manolo, choot that piece a chit

Manolo will oblige. Here come the bullets:

• We're back to the question of cheating with the latest exploits of Bill Belicheck and the New England Patriots. The penalty that NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell slapped down was fairly severe; I know Belicheck makes millions but I think anyone would feel the sting of a $500,000 fine. What I'm hoping is that this gets the NFL to do the obvious, which is to give the defensive players a similar wireless communication system to what the quarterbacks currently have. It's never made any sense to give the advantage to one side of the ball. What will be interesting is to see how this change affects the Patriots. I've seen enough of the Patriots to wonder, at least retrospectively, how they were always able to figure out the right defense to stop the other team. Now we know.
• I've been writing a little less about politics these days because, to be honest, I find it depressing. I haven't heard an original argument from the Democratic Party in years; it seems like the intellectual peak of the party happened sometime around my 4th birthday, and as regular readers of this feature know, I'm a late Boomer and certainly approaching my dotage. I would really like it if we could actually see a substantive discussion about the issues underpinning all the ideological hectoring, but I doubt we will. As the old saw goes, ideas have consequences, but too many of our politicians are substituting invective for explanation. It's no wonder that both the president and congress are about as popular as Michael Vick.
• Have you seen the ads for the new Jodie Foster film, "The Brave One?" Thirty years ago she appeared in the movie "Taxi Driver," playing the role of a barely pubescent prostitute. Now she wants to be Travis Bickle. I don't know if this represents progress, or is simply another example of the utter bankruptcy of ideas in Hollywood. I went to college with a guy named Matt Tolmach, who has gone on from Beloit to a fabulous career as a producer in Hollywood. If you Google his name, you'll find that he's produced dozens of big films and is starting a production company with Tom Hanks. Matt was a good guy in his college days and I have no reason to believe that's changed. But Matt came up with more clever ideas when he ran the parody issue of the student newspaper than I've seen out of Tinseltown in recent years.
• Time for another Mr. Dilettante contest - name your favorite guitar solo. Since my daughter has decided she wants to be a rock star, it would be good to get a few representative samplings for her to hear. I will throw out two of my favorites: Denny Dyas's lyrical, stinging playing on Steely Dan's "Bodhisattva," and Roddy Frame's hilarious sendup of Eddie Van Halen on a cover of "Jump" with his band, Aztec Camera. Let's hear yours, readership!

Fearless Dilettante Football Predictions

Another week is here. Here you go!

Xavier Hawks 35, Clintonville Truckers 24 - yes, their nickname really is the Truckers. And they're in second place. But the mighty Hawks will prevail.

Monmouth Scots 42, Beloit Bucs 14 - This will be second time my beloved Bucs lose to a team with the nickname Scots. Perhaps they could beat a team from the Isle of Wight....

Wisconsin Badgers 55, The Citadel 14 - if this is even close, Bucky should hang his head in shame. Next year they plan to schedule Culver Military Academy.

Green Bay Packers 21, New York Giants 17 - No Eli Manning, no Brandon Jacobs. No chance. And maybe Brett Favre will actually throw a touchdown pass against the kerosene-doused Giants defense.

Bonus area high school pick - White Bear Lake 21, Mounds View 14. Adam Weber's alma mater will have a tough time winning in White Bear. Next week we'll weigh in on mighty Irondale in this space.

Exit Terry Ryan

As I was driving around this afternoon I heard the news - Terry Ryan, the GM of the Twins, is resigning, with all of his underlings essentially moving up one spot.

This is interesting news, especially given the timing. The Twins have had a magical run over the past 6-7 years, largely due to the efforts of Ryan and his team to keep finding good, low-cost players and building a pitching-rich farm system. Given the meager resources provided by the Pohlads, it's been nothing short of amazing to see what Terry Ryan has been able to do. This can't be good news that he's decided to take a smaller role within the organization.

It's good to know a Janesville Parker guy can make good, though.

I, Faith Formation Teacher

The call went out a few weeks back from our parish’s religious education/faith formation coordinator. We needed teachers – there’s a ton of kids who won’t have teachers unless we get some volunteers to share their faith with the impressionable youth of the parish.

Someone has to do it and these days I have the time. So I volunteered and am now teaching my daughter and seven other reasonably bright-eyed second graders each Wednesday night. Somewhere, I have to suspect that my favorite religion teacher, Sister JoLaverne, who paired arms that looked likes loaves of ciabatta and a religious fervor bordering on the wacky, is smiling.

I had my first session with the kids last night. Maria knew one of the kids, a girl who had been one of her classmates at Valentine Hills last year. One other Valentine Hills kid is also in the class, along with representatives of other local schools like Sunnyside and Island Lake. Since I only have the kids for an hour, it’s not too tough to keep their interest. In some respects, it’s a bit like coaching, although I can’t make them run laps if they screw around. If nothing else, it should be a rich source of material. I just hope my charges remember me more favorably than I remember Sister JoLaverne.

Name that tune

Do you remember, the way we used to dance
In September

Sometimes I wonder. We're six years on now from 9/11/01 and whatever amity there was in the wake of the attacks, it's gone now. MoveOn.org has made it clear, running an ad in the New York Times yesterday that referred to Gen. David Petraeus, the commander in Iraq, as Gen. "Betray-us." Petraeus is up on Capitol Hill now, getting berated by Tom Lantos. And just about all the worthies in Congress on the left side of the aisle are on record as saying they don't believe that anything Petraeus will tell them is worth hearing.

Try to remember, the kind of September

I remember that day very well - I don't think anyone will ever forget the sense we had that the world had changed, irrevocably. But now, six years on, the politics have become so poisonous that we ignore the general who is actually fighting the war, even as Osama bin Laden reappears on video, coming on like Noam Chomsky in a turban and a jet-black Santa Claus beard.

And now the days grow short/I'm in the September of my years

Do you get the sense that the days are growing short? Are we letting our short attention spans and our addiction to spectacle, our devotion to 1080p technology and our iPhones and all the other gadgetry in the array, all well beyond our imagining only a few years earlier, distract us from maintaining the steady gaze necessary for eternal vigilance?

Fantabulous night to make romance, 'neath the color of October skies

Or are we putting it off for next month? Should we?

Turn up your radio

Now the caravan is on its way.

Dilettante Football Weekend Roundup

Here are the scores that matter:

Green Bay Packers 16, Philadelphia Eagles 13
Wisconsin Badgers 20, UNLV Rebels 13
Carroll College Pioneers 35, Beloit College Bucs 6
Xavier Hawks 39, Ripon High School 34

All told, a good weekend for the teams I support. And the Brewers are now back in first place too, having dispatched the Reds 10-5 yesterday behind an early barrage of home runs, while the benighted Cubs fell to the Pirates. At least sports-wise, things are going well.

A few quick thoughts on these results:

• The Pack didn't muster much offense but they are becoming a much more fearsome looking defense. It remains to be seen how much gas Eagles QB Donovan McNabb has left in his tank following four consecutive injury-filled seasons, but the pass rush was ferocious for the short time I was able to watch. And I think Johnny Jolly goes on the short list of fun D-Linemen in Packers history, along with Gilbert Brown and Dave Roller. He was a treat to watch.
• The Badgers nearly blew it in Vegas; of course, millions of people have blown it in Vegas, so why should they be any different. Meanwhile, they are playing a FUBAR level team, the Citadel, on Saturday. The Badgers had better kick the Citadel's butt or they'll be really embarrassed. On the bright side, I'm glad that I'm not a "Go Blue" fan these days. I'm even more glad I'm not Lloyd Carr. Oregon laid waste to Michigan on Saturday and it was astonishing to watch.
• Beloit is clearly not going to be a good football team this year; Carroll is pretty good in the sorry context of the Midwest Conference, but that's two embarrassing losses in a row for my beloved alma mater. On the other hand, Macalester went out and beat the crap out of lowly Principia College on Saturday to the tune of 63-0 or something like that, so maybe Mac has improved.
• Meanwhile, a team I support has finally managed to beat Ripon. Too bad it was my beloved high school Hawks and not the Bucs against Ripon College. Sounds like it was a wild one. Still, the X is now 3-0 and is doing well in its new conference. I'll be curious how they do against hated Omro. Can't get used to these new conference rivalries.

Finally, a big shout-0ut for the Irondale Knights, who got an enormous monkey off their backs by beating Totino-Grace on Friday, 21-20. Irondale hadn't beaten Totino in a long time and its a big win for this eternally rebuilding program. Since there's a good chance that Ben will attend Irondale, I'm trying to pay some attention to these guys, who are Menasha-like in their overall athletic prowess (that's a reference for my cheesehead readership, and they'll know precisely what I mean). I'm used to rooting for historically bad teams, so Irondale is a natural.

Maria helps me discuss the Brewers

Since various anonymous posters have asked me to talk about the Brewers, I have asked one of my favorite co-bloggers, my lovely daughter Maria, to help me discuss the Brewers. So, Maria, what do you think about the Brewers?

Well, the Brewers have to be normal citizens that play baseball and when they were babies, they wore diapers. So, anonymous, whoever you are, go ahead and see what this means to you and, if you like the Brewers, you should be thankful that the other co-blogger on Mr. Dilettante isn't here - my brother Ben, who would probably be discriminating against the Brewers. -- Maria

Maria brings up a great point - one of the reasons the Brewers are having some trouble down the stretch is that they are so young, they are barely out of their diapers. This first pennant race will not be the last one, I would imagine, and if they can get through on this one it would be pretty impressive. The Brew Crew has assembled a very talented young team, but they are young. Prince Fielder, Ryan Braun, J. J. Hardy, Corey Hart, Rickie Weeks, Bill Hall and the rest are potentially as good a nucleus as the Yount/Molitor/Cooper/Gantner group of my youth, but that squad took 3-4 years to get over. We'll see how this goes; the Brew Crew is playing far less formidable competition than the 1978 Yankees, but it's still hard to win it the first time around. We'll see what happens.

What can you say in five minutes?

Let's find out.

• Badgers play UNLV? Should win. Packers play Eagles? Think the Pack will win, for a change.
• Luciano Pavarotti died yesterday. The great Italian tenor was an opera superstar and was up for any number of things, including performing with James Brown and Barry White, among others. The clips are all over YouTube if you don't believe it. I may be the only person who remembers this, but when I think of Pavarotti my first thought is an offhand comment from "Ned the Dead," a host of a local late night horror movie show that used to be on television back in Green Bay. At one point, he interrupts the movie to analyze the plot. A monster is terrorizing a town. Ned says: "How will we stop this monster? I have an idea. Let's lure him out into a field, then get a plane and drop Luciano Pavarotti on him!" No respect for the classics, that guy.
• The kids are in school this week and the early returns are promising. Ben is attending middle school and he is excited by the pace of events, the changing classes, having a locker, etc. Maria's new teacher is very young - pretty much fresh out of college, but he's enthusiastic. We're hopeful they'll have a good year.
• The Vikings managed to avoid the blackout because the local television station that was to air the game bought out the final 1,200 tickets. I have a feeling they'll need to make this a budget item for the rest of the season, particularly if Tarvaris Jackson can't make the grade.

That's not bad - four bullets in five minutes. Just call me Roland the Headless Thomson Blogger.

The Big Uglies

It starts tonight – one of the most impressive marketing machines around, the National Football League, opens its season with a game between the defending champion Indianapolis Colts and the New Orleans Saints, the feel-good story of 2006. It should be a compelling game featuring some of the biggest names in the league, Peyton Manning and Reggie Bush.

After all the events that have taken place in the offseason, I’m guessing the NFL is happy that the focus will now return to the games, rather than the anti-social and sometimes illegal behavior of its players. We’ve all had our fill of Michael Vick, Tank Johnson and various and sundry Cincinnati Bengals. Now the game is on and the Big Uglies (a Keith Jacksonism) are striding onto the field.

As regular readers of this feature know, I am a lifelong Green Bay Packer backer. I come by this affliction honestly, having grown up in lovely Appleton, Wisconsin, Green Bay’s better looking kid brother 30 miles to the southwest. Like most Cheeseheads, I am intensely loyal to the Green and Gold. The boys closed well last year, finishing 8-8 after enduring a dismal 4-12 campaign in 2005. Brett Favre returns for his 475th season at quarterback, this time surrounded by a young offensive line, the reliable Donald Driver and a cast of unknowns. Fortunately, the defense is pretty good, especially a talented front seven. The Packers could be a winning team this year but the tale may be told early. The first game is against the talented but flawed Philadelphia Eagles, who have lately been pounding the Packers on a yearly basis, although most of the recent contests have been in Philadelphia. If the Pack wins on Sunday, expect a good season.

The Packers have the great fortune of being in the NFC North, which has been a weak division for some time now. The hated Chicago Bears emerged from the slough last year and were able to make it all the way to the Super Bowl, even though they feature the execrable Rex Grossman as their quarterback. A lot of things went well for Team Satan last year and I suspect they’ll not be able to duplicate the results they got last season. Meanwhile, our purple-clad locals will take the field with the mysterious Tarvaris Jackson at quarterback, along with a flashy, injury-prone new running back (Adrian Peterson) and a stout but aging defense. If Jackson proves worthy, or even competent, the Vikings could be a lot better, but I’m guessing that Pat Williams and Darren Sharper will start to slip this year, which makes progress dicey. Meanwhile, the long-suffering Detroit Lions, who have not won a thing since 1957, really think that this year will be different. They said that in 1958, 1959, 1960, 1961, 1962….

What does it mean? It means the Packers have a chance to win the division. They also have a chance to finish last. But I’m guessing my boys will be 9-7 or so, which may just be good enough to make the playoffs in the NFC. Does ol’ number 4 have enough left to lead a final charge to glory? It’s the same question we’ve been asking for at least 6-7 years. I’m looking forward to finding out.

…1997, 1998, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005….

An embarrassing Saturday

College football began in earnest over the weekend and a lot of what happened was cause for chagrin here at Mr. Dilettante. While my beloved Badgers took care of business against a respectable opponent, Washington State, the rest of the day was pretty grim. Three scores indicate why:

Macalester 34, Beloit 21. I am a proud alumnus of Beloit College, a lovely liberal arts college with a dubious football tradition. My Bucs came north to St. Paul on Saturday to take on the Macalester Scots, historically the worst college football school in Minnesota. Back in the 1970s, Mac lost 50 games in a row and over the years the Scots have usually been on the receiving end of 79-0 scores, especially when the Johnnies came to town. Because Beloit has not been strong itself, scheduling Mac has usually been the football equivalent of a bowl of chicken soup – warm, tasty, good for what ails you and ultimately rewarding. Beloit has played Mac on a fairly regular basis over the last decade and had won every time, generally by comfortable margins. But not on Saturday. We went to the game and things started out as we’d come to expect, as our beloved Bucs jumped out to a 14-0 lead. But then it changed. Mac ran a kickoff back for a touchdown and suddenly turned into an offensive juggernaut, scoring five unanswered touchdowns. The Bucs had no answer and lost meekly.

Okay, it’s possible that the Scots are finally turning it around under their new coach and that Beloit may have been the victim of a budding football renaissance along Snelling Avenue. But it doesn’t seem likely. Even at the lowly D-III level, you cannot lose to Macalester. Unless you are playing the University of Tennessee, you should never lose to a team wearing orange pants. My kids were calling Mac “Mac & Cheese” because of the resemblance of Mac’s uniforms to Kraft products. I suspect that Beloit may be headed for an 0-9 season. Still it could have been worse. You could be a Gopher.

Bowling Green 32, Minnesota 31. We’ve got trouble in River City. The Music Man-style hype that has been emanating from the Bierman Building has been impossible to avoid ever since new coach Tim Brewster came to town. We’ve learned that there is a Gopher Nation that is headed for Pasadena. Historically, membership in Gopher Nation has been secured with an AARP card, but with the Vikings generally moribund there’s a yearning for some better football entertainment round these parts and at least a few people really wanted to believe that Coach Brewster was the real deal. Guess not. There’s no way the Gophers should ever lose to Bowling Green. One game is not enough time to pass definitive judgment, but the first results weren’t good. Bowling Green is slated to be a mid-level MAC team at best and a better MAC team, Miami of Ohio, is coming to town this week. Coach Brew better have more than hype or he’ll be headed out of town faster than you can say Smokey Joe Salem. Ash-canned Gopher coach Glen Mason may be smiling, but we wouldn’t know since he’s working for the Big 10 Network. His next appearance may be on a milk carton. Still, it could be worse. You could be a Wolverine.

Appalachian State 34, Michigan 32. After I came home from Macalester, I turned on the television and the first thing I saw was this score. I blinked and it was still there. Appalachian State is a powerhouse in what used to be called Division I-AA, what the NCAA now refers to as FUBAR, or something like that. They are a quality opponent and a team that will likely win many games this season. The thing is, they usually play teams like Lenoir-Rhyne, Furman and make occasional road trips to places like North Dakota State when they need to get out of lovely Boone, North Carolina. Somehow these fellows ended up in Ann Arbor, Michigan. They were in the Big House, one of the most intimidating places in sports, with 106,000 Go Bluers waiting to watch the slaughter. But the Wolverines gagged. The Mountaineers came in and beat the pride of the Big Ten straight up in the Big House. Michigan has had a penchant for stubbing its toe in recent years, but usually the loss has come against an opponent with a little higher pedigree, like Notre Dame. It’s possible that the Wolverines will still come back and win the Big Ten, but I hope they don’t; it’s hard to argue the quality of the Big Ten when its top team cannot beat Appalachian State.

Required reading

As most readers of this feature know, I have an 11-year old son named Ben. Ben will be heading off to middle school this week and thus returning to the tender mercies of the Mounds View School District. Ben loves to read; a fella could get a hernia hoisting all the library books we get during the summertime. Since Ben is such a voracious reader, he manages to cover lots of literary territory. But there's a catch.

Because he's 11, he's quickly moving into oppositional mode when it comes reading suggestions from his dear old Dad. I put together a brief summer reading list for him and he fought me all the way on it. I had three books that I wanted him to read:

The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, by Mark Twain
Lord of the Flies, by William Golding
Animal Farm, by George Orwell

I think these are sensible enough choices - the first two concern boys and the challenges of growing up in a world where adult supervision is either absent or lacking, while the third is one of the best treatments of the Soviet Union ever recorded, but written in the form of a fairy tale. Well, the boy balked at all of them. He read parts of all three, but put them all aside, instead turning his attention a variety of other books, including several by one of my favorite contemporary authors, the sportswriter John Feinstein. He's also read at least a dozen history-themed books this year, including works on World War I and the American Revolution.

As I ponder Ben's reading choices, I can certainly understand why he might not want to read what I present to him. I was 11 years old back in 1975 and my interests then were similar to his; I read and re-read "Hockey Stars of 1975" at least a dozen times that year. I also muscled up to read William Shirer's "The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich" that year, mostly to show off. Eleven year old kids are, in the main, contrarians; it would be unfair of me to expect my son to be any different.

But it got me to thinking: what are the books an 11-year old boy should know? One of the biggest challenges we have is that we don't have a commonality of knowledge in ways we used to. You may recall E.D. Hirsch's late 1980s book, "Cultural Literacy." In it Hirsch laments the lack of common knowledge among Americans. I've long agreed with him about this - common knowledge, like common courtesy, common sense and common decency, are actually uncommon these days.

So I'm throwing it open: what are the books an 11-year old boy should know? My readership is usually pretty intelligent and sophisticated, only rarely slack-jawed and drooling, so I'd be curious to see what you think.

The worst day of the year, 17th Anniversary Edition

Seventeen years have passed, but I remember it like yesterday. It was a very long day - I left my apartment in Oak Park, Illinois and took the El to Union Station, where I caught the Amtrak to Milwaukee. My sister met me there and we traveled north to Neenah, Wisconsin, to the Theda Clark Regional Medical Center. She recounted her attendance at the fateful concert at Alpine Valley that had taken place earlier that week. She'd seen Buddy Guy, Eric Clapton and Stevie Ray Vaughan, guitar heroes all. That night the helicopter carrying Stevie Ray and members of Clapton's road crew slammed into a hillside, killing all aboard and adding Vaughan's name to the roster of rock legends who perished in the Upper Midwest.

It was a beautiful late summer day, sunny and a bit hot, but comfortable enough. My father had been transferred to Theda Clark from St. Elizabeth's in Appleton following quadruple bypass surgery. He had a heart attack two weeks prior and was not really getting better even after the surgery. The doctors explained the dilemma: since Dad had not been able to get up and around, he was in danger of suffering from a pulmonary embolism. While drugs were available to break the clots, they might jeopardize healing from the surgery he'd recently undertaken. Dad was caught between Scylla and Charybdis, as the Police once sang.

We were now there, all six of us. I, the eldest, newly engaged, had been the last to arrive. Two of the siblings were still in high school. And we waited. The doctors and nurses would come and go, bringing periodic reports, decidedly non-committal in tone. My dad's best friend, himself a doctor, came by and told us that he didn't like what he'd seen. The longer we waited, the better it might be, but a pulmonary embolism is a serious problem and it could happen at any time.

As night fell, we left the hospital to get something to eat. We headed to the Appleton outpost of George Webb, the legendary greasy spoon that was a Wisconsin tradition, with locations seemingly on every street corner in Milwaukee. We tucked into massive plates of grease and tried to forget, if only for a moment. With visiting hours over, we headed home, hopeful that the silence was golden and that maybe, just maybe, things would turn out. One of my brothers returned to his home in Milwaukee, hoping that maybe he'd not need to return that night.

Around 10:20, the phone rang. I picked up the call. The nurse said that Dad wasn't doing too well and that we should come back to the hospital. "We're on the way," I replied, without inflection. We piled into a few cars and headed back to Theda Clark. Once we got there, the news was grim. A clot had formed and had traveled to Dad's lungs - a pulmonary embolism. The only hope was surgery, and the odds weren't good. Could someone give us permission to perform it? My stepmother said, yes, yes, please perform the surgery.

We headed for the chapel and prayed. Meanwhile, my brother sped back from Milwaukee, hoping to arrive in time to provide his support and prayers. But the odds were against us and eventually the news was bad. At 11:50 p.m., Dad was gone.

So many things have happened since that day, 17 long years ago. I married my fiancee and we've had a wonderful marriage that has produced two beautiful children. My siblings have long since entered adulthood and two of them are now parents as well. We've had tremendous fun and more than a few heartaches since that day. We lost our stepmother 8 years later and our mother two years after that, both victims of their 40+ year addictions to cigarettes. Those days were horribly sad, too, but likely inevitable.

The sense I've always had was that Dad wasn't ready to go. On his deathbed, he was gripping the railings, as if fighting to keep himself from leaving. He knew, I'm guessing, that he was leaving way too soon, and fought like hell to stay, even if Heaven beckoned. I can only hope that they have wonderful windows in Heaven, because I'd want him to know how wonderful his grandchildren are, that the young lady he admired has turned out to be a fantastic wife, mother and daughter-in-law, and that his boy is proud to be his son. Seventeen years on, even as I shed a tear or two, I trust he does know these things.

12-inch collars again in Milwaukee

This is getting really old. For what seems like the millionth time, my beloved Brewers are fading as the pennant races get serious. This year the starting pitching has gone south, featuring kerosene-drenched Chris Capuano, Jeff Suppan and Dave Bush and their DL list pals, Ben Sheets and Claudio Vargas. The Brew Crew should be running away in the dismal NL Central; indeed, they were running away back in May. But now that August is fading into September, the Brewers find themselves in 3rd place.

The beneficiaries of this slide may turn out to be the Chicago Cubs, who haven't won a pennant in over 60 years. They make a fine role model for my Brewers. As much as I love baseball, the cruelty of rooting for these silly Brewers makes me think my son Ben is correct; Ben is an avid Twins fan and hates the Brewers with a passion that defies reason. The kid may be on to something....

The senator from Ida-ho

Bugs Bunny put it best: what a maroon. For about 20 seconds, once I read the writeup in today's Star Tribune about Senator Larry Craig's wide stance and close encounter with a vice cop out at the airport, I was thinking that it was possible for that maybe, just maybe, his actions had been misconstrued. But then I remembered experiencing similar behavior in a public rest room in Milwaukee years ago, when I was still young and generally unaware of such things. I never did tumble to the meaning of the commotion in the stall next to mine and I went about my business and left without understanding what it was about. Sometimes, ignorance is bliss.

So, what do you do with this guy? My personal wish is that he goes back to Boise or wherever he's from and leaves our vice cops alone; perhaps he can join the cast of the Napoleon Dynamite sequel or something. But he clearly doesn't belong in the Senate. One other thing - I wish these dudes would stop dragging their wives up on stage with them. He should have had Jim McGreevey or someone vouch for him, rather than forcing a victimized spouse to share the withering glare of the spotlight.

Will the last member of the Bush administration please turn out the lights?

First it was Rove, now it's Alberto. Pretty soon the D's won't have anyone left to have indignant press conferences about. Alberto Gonzales has resigned as Attorney General, hounded out in large measure because of a completely phony scandal.

I'm torn. On balance, I don't think he did a very good job on a lot of issues. He also was singularly ineffective in dealing with the demagoguery currently emanating from Capitol Hill. But at the same time, I surely don't enjoy seeing Charles Schumer and Pat Leahy taking victory laps right now. The standard-issue Washington politics these days have gotten way to Borgia-esque for my blood. Of course my blood is the least of Washington's concerns these days.

The question remains: what to do. Back in March I made a somewhat tongue in cheek suggestion that Bush should replace Alberto G. with Amy Klobuchar, the silly woman that Minnesotans inexplicably sent to Washington last fall. My rationale was that she wouldn't be able to refuse the job, and by accepting the appointment, T-Paw could name her replacement and turn control of the Senate back to the Republicans, thereby putting Schumer, Leahy, Biden, Levin and the rest of the worthies back in their cages. Or, in a better alternative, we'd have her on record as refusing to help her country, or better yet, have the spectacle of the Democrats rejecting her nomination in order to keep her in the Senate. Lots of potential mischief there....

It won't happen, of course, but I still would like to see Bush do something that would really upset the applecart. I continue to believe that the Democrats have wildly overplayed their hand since taking control of Congress and that a little presidential jujitsu might lead to a very surprising and gratifying result in the 2008 election cycle.

But I'm guessing boldness is not going to be forthcoming. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if the choice turns out to be someone like Patrick Fitzgerald. The rumors appear to be Michael Chertoff, but he's probably too closely aligned to Rudy Giuliani and the D's would look to sink him in any confirmation hearings.

I'm telling you - send Amy K to Justice!

State Fair

Minnesota, Minnesota
We are south of Manitoba
We are east of North Dakota
We’ve got something really rare

And that would be, in the words of Ann Reed, the State Fair. And that’s where the Dilettante clan was yesterday, wandering the soggy fairgrounds and ducking half-eaten corndogs and various corn-fed fairgoers, often attired in ways that are, shall we say, interesting, in the Chinese curse sense of the term.

We went there on opening day, also known as “Thrifty Thursday,” because some of the prices are somewhat reduced, a primary consideration these days. Since I have relatively young children, we end up spending a lot of time on the Kidway, where my motivated children blow through hard-earned cash at an alarming pace. If you buy in advance, you can get 20 ride tickets for about $10; if you don’t and succumb to the whining, you pay about 75 cents a ticket at the Fair itself. Considering the rides usually require 4-5 tickets, a kid can blow through $10 in about 20 minutes time, even on a “Thrifty Thursday.” Our strategy is to come and go from the Kidway as much as we can; temporary departures allow the Mrs. and I a bit of sanity and a few less whiffs of the carnies, to say nothing of keeping the kids from getting bored while we view things that are more interesting to us.

So what’s interesting at the Fair this year? Here are a few things:

Prices are up on food, in some cases a lot. Like most fairgoers, we have a usual ritual for the food we buy; the kids and I always have a “Pickle on a Stick” and we usually go for some Sweet Martha’s cookies at the end. The pickles were up 50 cents this year, from $1.50 to $2, while a bucket of Sweet Martha cookies is now a stiff $13, up $2 from last year’s $11. We didn’t bother with the bucket this year; the cookies are good, but not $13 good. If you plan to go to the fair and do it right, expect to pay at least $25/person for food. We didn’t try anything new, but early word is that O’Gara’s has a new version of corned beef and cabbage on a stick that’s pretty good; kind of combination corn dog/Irish egg roll, from what I could tell.

We managed to get the kids on television last night – we sat in the stands for Channel 4’s 5 p.m. newscast and the last shot of the broadcast featured Ben and Maria, waving wildly for the camera. Their grandparents saw it, so my kids have now used up about 15 seconds of the 15 minutes of fame they are allotted. It’s interesting to sit in on one of these newscasts, just to watch the producers and camera people at work. There’s a lot of artifice involved in television production and the process of putting together a broadcast requires a lot of work. I also enjoyed being a quiet smart-aleck while sitting in the stands. I’ve always had a little Statler and Waldorf in me and I made a few of my fellow spectators laugh by suggesting that Channel 4 anchorette Jeannette Trompeter has a cousin named Jeanette Saxophonist.

The best deal for kids is the “Little Farm Hands” exhibit on the far north edge of the Fairgrounds. It’s free and the kids get a good feeling for how a farm actually works. Last year we volunteered to help at this exhibit and it was exceptionally hard work, but from the customer side it’s pretty neat. And the kids can even get a free can of green beans for you to lug around the Fairgrounds the rest of the day.

We didn’t see it, but there’s a new North Woods exhibit, also on the far north edge of the Fairgrounds, which looked pretty cool.

Since it’s an off year for elections, we didn’t see a lot of politicians. That itself is a big improvement, although you can still be the first kid on your block to get an Al Franken button if you really want something like that. I sure don’t, but such things are available.

Barney's Clubhouse Pow

If you grew up in the Green Bay area during the late 70s – early 80s, you’ll remember this reference. But all it does is set up another round of bullets. Sorry about that, fellow nostalgic cheeseheads!

• The blame game continues on the bridge, with the odious Nick Coleman now feeling bold enough to assign the entire responsibility to T-Paw and his henchwoman, Carol “Frau Blucher” Molnau. But now word comes that the NTSB is investigating something that I suspected from the moment I first heard about the collapse – the automatic de-icing system that had been installed on the bridge back in the late 1990s. That would have been during the administration of Jesse Ventura, whose MnDOT commissioner was Elwyn Tinklenberg, the fellow who was first out of the gate in blaming the current administration for the collapse. Tinklenberg managed to get his shots in on the day of the collapse itself, so sure was he of culpability. Here’s the thing – the de-icing system is likely one factor, since it released chemicals that may have helped to corrode the structural steel bridge supports. But it’s only one factor – the 288 tons of construction equipment parked on the bridge, the years of pigeon guano (as always, minty fresh!) and the normal wear and tear of 40 years of extraordinarily heavy use were all factors. But let’s not reality get in the way of a good witch-hunt. Nick Coleman would have felt right at home in Salem, Mass back in 1692.
• Some weird stuff in baseball over the past few days, and all you have to do is look at one team that was involved – the woebegone Texas Rangers. The Rangers were absolutely handcuffed by our Johan Santana on Sunday, striking out 17 times over 8 innings. This same team went into Baltimore and put up 30 runs in a single game last night. Baseball is the most capricious of our games – while the better team usually wins, strange things like this happen. Meanwhile, I know the Rangers lead the league in twill lettering on the back of their uniforms, thanks to Frank Cattalanato and Jarrod Saltalamacchia. They ought to get those two on an Olive Garden commercial or something.
• We’re going to the State Fair this afternoon. The kids really love going and we rarely miss it. It’s difficult to explain to a non-Minnesotan how big a deal the State Fair is in this state; it’s really part of the DNA. I didn’t understand it until I went – growing up in Wisconsin, the State Fair there is not really that big a deal. But it is here. We’ll have a full report on our exploits anon.

Three feet high and rising

Things 'round here are getting almost Biblical. The Month of Ghosts began with the horrific 35W bridge collapse and now we have seen torrential flooding in southeastern Minnesota over the weekend. Some of the footage from the area is simply mind-boggling and the sudden fury of the water reminds us of how little control we really have over our world. While I have struggled with my health and my continuing lack of suitable employment, I really haven't lost anything that absolutely matters in the last 16 months, least of all my life.

While I am faithful, I do struggle with my faith from time to time. God's plan is so far beyond my reckoning that I find myself chafing at the limitations of my own intellect. I marvel at the certitude of so many people, especially those whom I find myself disagreeing with politically. It must be comforting to have all the answers.

It's now been nearly 17 years since I lost my father and 7 years since I lost my mother, both in the month of August. It's long been a bad month for me, but 2007 has been a bad month for many other Minnesotans. I do hope that we all get some peace in the remaining time we have this month.