Wednesday, May 03, 2017

Golden words he will pour in your ear/But his lies can't disguise what you fear

Voltaire, baby!
During his opening monologue, Colbert went off on Trump over the President’s treatment of CBS News’ John Dickerson, who saw an interview with Trump abruptly ended when he asked about the President’s unproven claims that then-President Obama had wiretapped Trump and members of his campaign. As Dickerson and Colbert are both CBS employees, Colbert felt it his duty to say the things Dickerson himself could not.

“Sir, you attract more skinheads than free Rogaine,” Colbert said near the end of the insult-laden rant. “You have more people marching against you than cancer. You talk like a sign language gorilla that got hit in the head. In fact, the only thing your mouth is good for is being Vladimir Putin’s c–k holster.” The final remark has drawn the internet’s ire, with viewers taking to social media to declare Colbert is homophobic.The hashtag #FireColbert began spreading around Twitter, along with calls for people to boycott sponsors of the late-night show.
So what is a c–k holster? Say, it, Variety! Just say it!


Hell, set it to music! If I had some video editing skills, I'd be substituting Colbert's bon mot into this song:


We were at a taping
His monologue fell in the deep
Someone reached in and grabbed it
It was a "c–k holster"
"C–k holster"
"C–k holster"

Don't fire him, CBS! Own him! Celebrate him! He is the face of your network! He's the man, the man with the Midas touch, a spider's touch. Mister C–k holster! It's almost worth getting Shirley Bassey out of mothballs. We'll give the last word to Peggy Noonan instead.
"I thought Mr. Trump was supposed to be the loudmouth vulgarian who swears in public," Noonan continued. "They are aping what they profess to hate. They excoriated him for lowering the bar. Now look at them. And they're doing it because they have nothing else — not a plan, not a program, not a philosophy that can be uttered."
It's quite a look.

4 comments:

Bike Bubba said...

It strikes me that the media are, with this and with the correspondents' dinner, letting go of any pretense of being unbiased. They are going to pay a heavy price for this in the coming years.

R.A. Crankbait said...

Well, so much for the Love Shack.

Colbert was well on the road to Vaughn Meader-like relevancy after he made his talk-show switch. And then Trump came along and saved him. He should be on his knees every day thanking God for that. (That doesn't sound homophobic in any way, does it?)

Mr. D said...

Vaughn Meader! Wow, hadn’t thought about him in a long time. Maybe we could get Tom Lehrer and Mort Sahl outta mothballs while we’re at it.

R.A. Crankbait said...

Or at least Mark Russell.