Every day can be consequential, but most aren't especially so. For me, September 21 is the most important day of the year, because that is my anniversary day. But today, November 21, is probably the most consequential day of the year, because 12 years ago today my son Ben was born at United Hospital in St. Paul.
There's little point in dwelling on the obvious - your life is changed utterly once you bring a child into the world. Unfortunately, I think a lot of people never really grasp this. If you are going to be an effective parent at all, it means you have to get over yourself. It's inevitable that you are going to lose your dignity from time to time - it's hard to cut a dashing figure when you are spattered with baby urp. Later on, as your child starts to grow and learn, he starts to discover what an moron you really are.
I'm entering that stage with Ben right now. A 12-year old boy is starting to understand the world, but that understanding is usually fragmentary at best. Meanwhile, Ben's body is starting to play the cruel tricks of pre-adolescence on him. He's growing taller, stronger and more assertive each day. He's gradually becoming the person he will be for the rest of his life. It's fascinating to watch, but observation isn't enough.
I don't think Ben really thinks I'm a moron, but at times I'm guessing he does. And at this age, he should. The toughest part of parenting is coming now. I am looking forward to it, but there's a certain amount of dread. In the end, it should work out well. Ben is a great kid and I'm confident that he'll grow into a fine adult. But it won't be easy. It never is.
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