Benster and D Pick Your Games -- Once More to Isanti Edition

Yes, you read that right. My project is still not done. I'm working like a mad man and I've called in just about every Scout father in the greater New Brighton metropolitan area to help me wrassle this thing to completion. Meanwhile, the old dude is slowly turning into a real old dude. But that's not why you're here, right?

Oh, let's face it -- what could be more entertaining than a blow-by-blow description of an Eagle Scout project?

It beats a blunt stick in the eye, Geritol Fan! But now it's time for me to give you a blunt pick of the games! Watch me work!

Nebraska Cornhuskers (-10) vs. Minnesota Golden Gophers. Look out, world, Big Red is in town! The Old Dude saw about 10 Nebraska license plates on his commute home this afternoon. That means that the pesky Gophers are due for a visit from mean ol' Nebraska and Bo Pelini, the pickle-faced coach of the Cornhuskers. I mean, have you seen this guy? He always looks like he just ate about 20 lemons and washed it down with grapefruit juice! The point is, he figures this is going to be an easy win. Well, not quite. Minnesota did a good job against Northwestern last week, taking advantage of the fact that most of the Wildcat offense was apparently lost on a Wendella Cruise boat on Lake Michigan. As it turns out, I doubt Nebraska is planning to take the Jonathan Padelford cruise down the Mississippi this weekend. They've brought Taylor Martinez, who hasn't played much this season because of injury and has a reputation of choking in big games. Now, does Nebraska view this as a big game? Well, no, but maybe they should. Gophers 42, Nebraska 38.

Well, that's bold. I don't think Nebraska is exactly Mike Rozier/Turner Gill good these days, but they still have a lot of weapons. I think Nebraska could easily score 38 points. I doubt the Gophers can, though. Nebraska 38, Minnesota 21.

Penn State Nittany Lions (+15) vs. The Ohio State University. Now, I know that I'm most likely banned from the Columbus metropolitan area, because I trash the Buckeyes more than Waste Management, but here they are against Penn State, now two years removed from the Sandusky scandal and a team that's looking like they might turn the corner. Young Christian Hackenburg has the look of the best quarterback to play for Penn State in many years. Last week the Buckeyes barely survived a visit from the Iowa Hawkeyes, who are a middle-of-the-pack team in the Legends Division. And, if you're figuring where I'm going to head with this, you know that this is one of the two games I've predicted the Buckeyes are going to lose. So Urban Meyer, be prepared to know the number for a U-Haul truck. Penn State 27, Ohio State 13.

Looks like you're in the mood to pick upsets today. I don't see this happening. Penn State is a tough-minded team but they don't have enough talent to hang with the Buckeyes. Not yet, at least. Check back in about two years. Ohio State 34, Penn State 20.

Glorious Green Bay Packers (-9) vs. Minnesota Vikings. So, this is the game that Vikings fans have been looking forward to for months. Unfortunately, they have no idea who will play quarterback. Will it be Josh Freeman? Maybe Matt Cassel. Maybe Christian Ponder. Maybe Todd Bouman will come back from wherever he is these days? Maybe Sir Francis Tarkenton, the best quarterback they've ever had. Maybe Spergeon Wynn. It's so hard to tell these days. The Vikings change quarterbacks more often than Gino changes his socks (just kidding, Gino!) Now, if you're a Vikings fan, you have to wonder why the Vikings don't run the ball more. I checked it out and since the bye week, the Vikings have only run the ball 25 times. Now granted, they've been buried a lot in those games, but still, maybe you should look behind the quarterback. Who is usually lined up back there? Why, it's Adrian Peterson, of course, merely the best running back on the planet. It would be like the Packers deciding that the best choice is to hand the ball off to John Kuhn on every play. You could do it, but it doesn't seem wise. The Vikings are going to play hard as they always do, especially in the Metrodome. But, the Packers will get some help on defense and Adrian Peterson will not go for 190 yards this time. Packers 24, Vikings 10.

The Packers are having a hard time finding receivers these days. I heard they might bring back Boyd Dowler or maybe "Admiral" Perry Kemp for this one. Still, the Vikings look pretty dysfunctional right now. You can put some of that on the quarterback carousel, but I think the larger issue is that both the offensive line and the defensive line are both performing at a substandard level this year. And if you can't block or tackle, it's hard to win at football. Packers 31, Vikings 14.

Dallas How Bout Them Cowboahs (+3) vs. Detroit Motor City Kitties. No Bears this week, so we're stuck picking this game. I can't get blamed for that, Gino. Anyway, the Lions seem to have improved somewhat this season after the train wreck that was last year. Reggie Bush is a nice addition to the team and Hong Kong Phooey Suh is still a menacing force in the middle of the line when he's not getting fined or trying to avoid bail bondsmen. Meanwhile, the Cowboahs are their usual schizo selves. Tony Romo continues to alternate between brilliance and stupidity, sometimes on the same play. While the Packers will travel to see both these teams later on in the season, I have to think that Thanksgiving in Detroit will be the tougher game. Detroit 17, Dallas 14.

I'd agree with your pick, but both these teams can score. And will. Bet the over. Lions 31, Cowboys 28.

That's all for tonight. Do you want to see a picture of the project so far? Well, here you go, kiddies!

I got your blocks right here, pal. Ben out!