Friday, November 15, 2013

Benster and D Pick Your Games -- For Whom the Bell Tolziens Edition

Old dude, I'm a little surprised. Scott Tolzien, former Badger great, is now the temporary starting quarterback of the Green Bay Packers. Why would you not bring in Matt Flynn to start?

Bad arm, away for two years, Tolzien might be better. Should I go on?

No. We'll get to that soon enough. But for now, since the Geritol Fan can't find his beloved Xavier Hawks on the internet, we'll pick some games. Watch me work!

Indiana Wants Me, Lord I Can't Go Back There (+23) vs. Beloved Wisconsin Badgers. A 23-point spread, eh? That's a big number, but let's look at the series the last few years. Working our way back from last year, we see the following:

2012  Wisconsin 62, Indiana 14
2011  Wisconsin 59, Indiana 7
2010  Wisconsin 83, Indiana 20
2009  Wisconsin 31, Indiana 28
2008  Wisconsin 55, Indiana 20
2007  Wisconsin 33, Indiana 3
2006  Wisconsin 52, Indiana 17

The trend line seems pretty clear, don't you think? When these two teams play, it just doesn't go very well for the Hoosiers. And, since Antwaan Randle-El isn't playing in this game, I think we can assume that the Badgers are going to romp and stomp yet again. Badgers 70, Indiana Wants Me, Lord I Can't Go Back There 24.

What, no R. Dean Taylor video? No, we need the video:


Okay, now that we have that part done, I suspect you're right. Indiana can score some, but they don't play much defense, which is a poor idea when you're playing the Badgers. Wisconsin 49, Indiana 21.

Michigan State Sparty the Spartan (-6) vs. Nebraska Cornhuskers. Oh, looky here, old dude, Nebraska is a home dog! In the immortal words of John McEnroe:


Chalk flew up! C'mon, man! If Nebraska loses this game, then our old friend Bo Pelini might be gone. It would be a shame to lose a guy who behaves even worse than John McEnroe. Oh wait, it wouldn't be a shame. Meanwhile, Sparty has been putting together a nice season and should get a crack at the Big Ten Championship Game, which every Spartan fan wants to win because they are not over what happened to them last time. Sparty 13, Fire Bo Pelini 0.

I don't think Nebraska is that good. Michigan State plays some pretty good defense. Still, this game is in Lincoln. I really wonder if Sparty will be able to handle that. Nebraska 24, Michigan State 17.

Minnesota Vikings (+12) vs. Seattle Seabags. The last time out, the Vikings played a complete game and were able to come away with a victory. This week, things are going to be a little harder. Seattle is a tough place to play, the Seahawks are very good and Pete Carroll is still a weasel of the first kind. The problem is, weasels who coach talented teams often succeed in spite of their weasel tendencies. And as much as I'd like to think the Vikings could pull the upset, it's going to be very hard. And let's face it, how can you not love Russell Wilson? Seahawks 28, Vikings 24.

I don't think the Vikings could score 24 on the Seahawks if they played 'em for two games. Ponder is injured and Josh Freeman is apparently clueless, and Matt Cassel is buried deeper than Jimmy Hoffa, so it's hard to see where the offense is going to come from. I assume the Seahawks will put 8 big dudes in the box and dare the Vikings to throw. Since they can't, the result will be: Seahawks 28, Vikings 7.

Glorious Green Bay Packers (+5) vs. New York Football Giants. All right -- the Packers are playing Scott Tolzien instead of Matt Flynn. I'm surprised. No offense to Scott Tolzien, who we will always thank for his fine career as a Badger. Still, I would prefer to have Flynn, because Flynn knows the offense. The Giants have started to get their act together a little, but they are still a very schizo team. Eli Manning is showing once again that he can win all the games in the post-season, but can't win the big one in the regular season. The Packers got their season back on track in 2010 against the Giants. Will they do it again this year? Packers 45, Giants 17.

I don't know that the Packers are going to score 45 with Scott Tolzien in the lineup. But they can beat the Giants. I think Tolzien has a chance to be a decent backup and they are getting healthy in other areas. They have to have this game to save their season and I think they'll get it. Green Bay 21, Giants 16.

Kansas City Chiefs (+8.5) vs. Denver Broncos. First, let's go to our favorite Kansas City correspondent for his views:


It's crusty old Jack Harry, looking like a genius from back in August, saying that the Chiefs are going to surprise people. Jack, you old dog, you called it! I also called it. I've been telling anyone who will listen (and yes, I know that most people don't want to listen, but hear me out) that Alex Smith is a better quarterback than Colin Kaepernick and that he would be more successful this year than Kaepernick would be. Have you looked at the standings, old dude? Kansas City is 9-0 and the 49ers are 6-3 and barely bobbing on the surface of the water right now. See, if you listen to crusty old Jack Harry, or the master of HYYYYPPPPPE, the Benster, you can learn something. Denver may have caught magic in the bottle last year, but the Broncos had better hope that Tamba Hali doesn't catch Peyton Manning on Sunday night. Chiefs 20, Broncos 9.

I have to admit, I'm surprised by the Chiefs. Maybe I need to listen to ol' Jack more often. I think the Broncos are going to win this game, but it's going to be tough. And the Chiefs are legit. Denver 28, Kansas City 24.

I'm sorry to any Bears fans who were hoping to see my thought on their game against Baltimore this week, but let's face it, if I have a chance to post a Jack Harry video, what else can I do? And, I'd rather talk about something I haven't had the chance to discuss yet. I'm a Renaissance man, baby! Ben out!

5 comments:

First Ringer said...

I think Indiana will score more than what you're crediting them, given they average 43 points a game. Yes, I saw what Bucky did to BYU's 12th ranked offense last week, but seeing the Hoosiers put up 30+ pts wouldn't faze me (Wisconsin's still going to win).

And I'm trying not to be a Minnesota homer, but I wonder if the Pack is going to win any games without Aaron Rogers right now. I know Ted Thompson is regarded as a team-building genius, but without his ultra-star QB, this team looks ordinary, not extraordinary.

The Lions look in position to run away with the North. The only thing stopping them is, as usual for Detroit, themselves.

First Ringer said...

Rodgers, not Rogers. Curse my typo-ridden fingers!

Mr. D said...

I think Indiana will score more than what you're crediting them, given they average 43 points a game.

Guess not. ;) The Badgers are a much better defensive team this year than they had been in recent years. I'm actually quite interested in how it goes up here next week. I think the Badgers will be a very good measuring stick for the progress the Gophers are making.

We'll see about the Pack; the reason I'm personally confident is that the Giants are really a train wreck right now. The Eagles and the Bears are both pretty good offenses and that was the difference. We'll see.

First Ringer said...

Yikes, I'm eating some humble pie after yesterday's game. I figured at least Wisconsin would ease off in a blowout and Indiana would rack up some prevent defense points. At this rate, Bucky will bury Goldy next Saturday.

Green Bay does have a fairly easy schedule the rest of the way (I should amend my last comment by stating I think the Pack can beat the Vikes next week, Rodgers or not). But Green Bay can't afford to fall too far behind Detroit and frankly, Carolina and San Fran look like they could run away with the wildcard spots.

Mr. D said...

I can see the improvement on the Gophers, FR. They are a legitimate first division team in the Big Ten. The interesting thing is that, top to bottom, this is probably a better overall Badger team than any of the last three teams that got to the Rose Bowl. No one outside of Wisconsin seems to notice it, though.

I didn't see today's Packer game, but I think you can stick a fork in them. They *might* be able to beat the Vikings, who are a train wreck, but they aren't ready for prime time. The injuries on defense are a big issue and without Rodgers, they have trouble scoring. Tolzien could be decent eventually, but from what I heard he made two terrible throws that cost the Packers dearly. Then again, so did Ponder in the Seattle game.