Friday, September 18, 2015

Benster and D Pick Your Games -- The Big Payback Edition

Old dude, I think we need some theme music for this one:


It's the big payback. And I'm mad!

Didn't know you were a James Brown fan, young fella.

Well, sometimes I have to expand past my extensive Aerosmith collection, you know. I'm at Knox, Geritol Fan! We learn about new things here. Even new things that are old! Almost as old as you, even!

Well, you teach me many things, grasshopper.

Okay. If I'd wanted a Kung Fu reference I'd have picked this one:


But that would get in the way of the HYYYYYYYPPPPE! And we can't have that. Watch me work!

Kent State Golden Flashes (+24) vs. Minnesota Golden Gophers. I know what you are thinking. You must be thinking that the Gophers should have no problem with a MAC team at home. Well, Arkansas fans thought the same thing about Toledo, and they lost. The Gophers have had trouble winning games they should in my lifetime, but thankfully Jerry Kill doesn't run his mouth about scheduling issues. Minnesota 13, Toledo 9.

Kent State is famous more for historical events than for football, mostly because they're historically bad at football. They did give the world Jack Lambert, the nasty linebacker for the Steel Curtain, but lately? Ehh, not so much. Don't expect them to be much competition for the Gophers. Minnesota 31, Kent State 10.

Troy Trojans (+35) vs. Beloved Wisconsin Badgers. The Badgers looked good as they cruised last week and calmed me down after the disaster in Jerry World. This game can build momentum into the Big Ten season where the games actually matter. I would like to see more solid passing from Joel Stave, which he has done in both games. He reminds me a lot of Scott Tolzien, who you might remember had a good senior season. Badgers 56, Troy 16.

Thanks for avoiding the obvious Trojan joke, young fella. The Badgers righted the ship in a big way last week against Miami of Ohio, and this team also looks like a nice simple pastry. The Badgers would like to get Corey Clement some action if possible. They don't need him against these guys, but they will once the have to play Nebraska, Iowa, and the like. Joel Stave is having a decent senior campaign as well, which is good news for the Badgers and not so good news for their opponents. Wisconsin 42, Troy 7.

Detroit Motor City Kitties (+2) vs. Minnesota Vikings. The Lions claim all the time that they are going to be different, and not blow things this time. Of course, I am smart enough to ignore that because the Lions are like Congress. No matter who comes in, nothing will get done and it will be a dumpster fire on live television. The Vikings should win, especially if Norv Turner figures out that he has a great back in the lineup. A first grader could figure out that if you have something amazing, use it! Vikings 35, LOLions 7.

I don't know what to make of either of these teams. The Lions pretty much imploded in the second half of last week's game, while the Vikings apparently never got on the flight to San Francisco. I'm pretty sure the Lions are going to be worse defensively than they have been in the past, but I'm not sure the Vikings are ready to exploit that potential advantage. If I'm Mike Zimmer, I make sure Adrian Peterson gets more carries than he did last week. Lions 24, Vikings 20.

Hated Seattle Seabags (+3) vs. Glorious Green Bay Packers. The NFC Championship was a painful day to deal with, and now the Packers have a chance to take that snake and strangle it. Russell Wilson plays his first game in the state of Wisconsin since Thanksgiving weekend in 2011. The Packers have won 9 home games in a row, and Aaron Rodgers goes from very good to an elite quarterback. Seattle lost last week thanks to giving the ball to Beast Mode in a short yardage spot and not getting it. Maybe Marshawn Lynch was worried about getting fined. The Legion of Boom is without Kam Chancellor, who is holding out for a bigger contract despite not understanding the law of diminishing returns. He was also dumb enough to say that his team was going to lose. There will be no "Hand of God", no fluke onside kicks, or bandwagon fans leaving early. Packers 29, Seachickens 13.

You don't need HYYYYYYYPPPPPE! for this one. You might not even need James Brown. What matters at this point are the players on the field. I wonder how the Packers are going to stop Marshawn Lynch, but I also suspect the Seahawks are going to have trouble stopping a fully functional Aaron Rodgers, especially at Lambeau and even more importantly, without Kam Chancellor. I expect this to be a high scoring game and the Packers to have one more big play than the Seahawks. Packers 37, Seahawks 28.

I think we've made our point here. Ben out!

3 comments:

Gino said...

no Bears pick this week? no problem. we prefer to fly under the radar after last season anyway.

Mr. D said...

Oops -- we were short on time. We'll make a Bears pick next time for sure. But just for you, I'll say Bears 24, Cardinals 23.

Bike Bubba said...

Looking at Nebraska's early schedule, suffice it to say that they appear to be missing Bo Pelini, and the Badgers may or may not need their star.

And I remember the days when Arizona was a gimme for Da Bears. No more.....