Benster and D Pick Your Games---Talk To Your Kids About An Undefeated Minnesota Edition

Old dude, the Golden Elite Rowers of the Boat made me eat more crow last weekend. This might be happening.

Bon appetit!

Have some!

The lime slices really add to the flavor, you know.

Thanks for the tip there, Galloping Gourmet! Gophers also got screwed over by the committee. That sound you heard earlier was me starting to grind my axe. I've got words for them, and I have to set the record straight.

Will I need a hazmat suit?

You always need a hazmat suit, old dude.

Hard to argue with you there, grasshopper.

They are feeling the HYYYYYYYYYPPPEE!, in Dinkytown, and it is time to watch me work.


Minnesota Golden Elite Rowers of the Boat (+2.5) vs. Iowa Hawkeyes. Before I unleash, how in the world are the Gophers an underdog? That makes no sense. Last week, the Gophers had a successful plan in place, and looked very strong against a good Penn State squad. I thought Tanner Morgan in particular looked very impressive, and credit belongs to Row the Boat and his staff for focusing on football instead of selling oar branded merchandise at Goldy's Locker Room. Before I get to what I think about the game, it's time for a Very Special Comment.

I understand that the committee has a tough job in ranking teams, and it will always be an inexact science. The Gophers not being ahead of LSU, A School In Columbus, and Clemson is fair. Heck, if they were ranked 5th behind an undefeated Baylor it would at least make sense to me. In what sense can they honestly defend ranking them at 8? The Gophers haven't lost a game, whereas Utah, Oregon, Alabama, and Georgia all lost one game. What is really stupid is that Alabama and Georgia are ahead of the Gophers. The SEC fan dancers in the media always like to go on and on about how their league is so superior to other leagues. Well, the SEC plays 8 conference games and freely allows their schools to schedule cupcake games in November. The Big Ten has strongly limited FCS schedules, and mandates 9 conference games. Georgia lost to a bang average South Carolina team at HOME and they are somehow the 4th best team in the land? Seriously? Then there is the Alabama Crimson Tide. Alabama is a team that lost at HOME to LSU, and all week long I've heard Alabama and SEC sycophants like Paul Finebaum try and excuse the loss because of Tua being injured. I'm sorry, but that is a lazy excuse. Tua was clearly healthy enough to play, and if Alabama had won everyone would have praised Tua to no end as being cowboy tough while waxing poetic about how Nick Saban is a coaching god.

Let's get one thing straight, the SEC always gets the built in advantages of having to play almost all of their games in the South, and the Big Ten always has to play the biggest games of the year in the SEC turf. All of the major bowl games are in the South and West, and the Big Ten never gets thrown a bone. How come semifinal games are never played in Chicago, Minneapolis, Green Bay, Indy, Cleveland, Cincy, or Detroit? All of those cities have quality venues that would be great hosts. All those venues in the North have football fields that are regulation sized, and the NFL will play important playoff games in the North without batting an eye, and nobody complains about them awarding Super Bowls to locations in the North. If college football is such a national game, then why is the north shut out from hosting games that matter in the playoff? You bet your butt that the SEC would complain if it was the other way around. If anyone that I called out wants to debate me, or if ESPN wants to have me on as a guest, I'm ready to debate the issue anytime of the day. College football was thriving long before the SEC was relevant, and always will thrive regardless of how well the SEC is doing.

Boy, I needed to get that out of my system. This game is interesting for the Gophers, because Iowa played very tough in Camp Randall last week. The Hawkeyes have a reputation for pulling upsets against ranked teams at Kinnick. I think the Gophers can win, but this game could go the other way. Row Row Row Your Boat Elitely 24, Hawkeyes 21.

You had your Wheaties for that one, didn't ya? Righteous rage becomes you, Seabiscuit. I'm not so sure people really want to see college football playoff games in Green Bay, but one could certainly take place at the People's Stadium, or Ford Field, or Lucas Oil Stadium. The Fargodome may not get the nod, either, but there you go. As for the game. . . the Gophers are feeling more and more like the 1993 Badgers, the team that finally broke through. Iowa City is a tough place, especially at this time of year. But if the Gophers are going to have their year, it has to continue tomorrow. I think it will. Gophers 31, Iowa 21.

Beloved Wisconsin Badgers (-14) vs. Nebraska Cornhuskers. The Badgers had a narrow escape last week, but still are the fox to the Gopher hound. Nebraska is a team that is a long way off from where it was hoped they be. I think Scott Frost is the right man for the job, because he will be given the time he needs, based on his background as a Nebraska legend and his national championship at UCF. This game won't be easy because Lincoln is a tough place to play, and Nebraska can play without worrying about the results in Iowa City. Badgers 31, Cornhuskers 21.

UCF national champions? You need an asterisk the size of Alpha Centauri for that one, young fella. Badgers still have goals this season and Nebraska is not currently built to slow those goals. I have more confidence in the Badgers than you do. Badgers 38, Nebraska 17.

Denver Broncos (+10.5) vs. Minnesota Vikings. The Vikings kept pace with the Packers last week with a very impressive performance in Jerry World. They can gain half a game in the division thanks to the Packers being on bye this week. Denver is a team that has talent, but quite frankly has not been a good outfit. The strange thing is that they are not that far away in the AFC West, and with some results could steal the division in the middle of the night. I expect the Vikings to have a routine win at home, and go into the bye week in a comfortable place. Vikings 28, Broncos 7.

John Elway was a great quarterback, but he's no good at picking quarterbacks. The Broncos have a strong defense, but I don't see them getting much done on Sunday, either. Bet the under. Vikings 20, Broncos 3.

Bear Down Chicago Da Bearz Still Suck (+6.5) vs. Los Angeles Rams. Both of these teams have been humongous letdowns. Who would have thought that the Bears would take a step back after playing a Charmin UltraSoft schedule last year, and actually playing real teams this year? The Rams have been a joke, and are going to pay the piper for that awful Goff contract. Both these teams are wastes of talent, and at least this game won't be a horrible brawl like the last primetime game. When in doubt, go with the desperate team at home theory. Rams 50, Bears Blew a 20-0 Lead to the Packers 0.

Did you mean this bear?

Giggling

All's fair in cheap shots, I suppose. The Bears still need to figure out the quarterback situation. I'd suggest they don't talk to John Elway. Meanwhile, Rams are in deep kimchi as well, but they still have a chance. The hour grows short, however. Rams 24, Bears 16.

I can't wait to see what excuses that the committee will dream up with to screw over the Gophers next week, but the old dude and I are both certain Ruff Ruffman Paul Finebaum is on the case. Ben out.