Will KKR love MFF?

Mills Fleet Farm has been sold:

Family-owned Mills Fleet Farm has agreed to sell to New York-based KKR, one of the country’s largest investment concerns that has holdings in various industries totaling about $100 billion.

Terms of the deal, expected to be announced Tuesday, were not disclosed. However, after the Mills family put the privately held chain of 35 stores up for sale last fall there was speculation in the investment trade nationally that it would fetch in neighborhood of $1 billion. Reuters last month cited unnamed sources putting a likely price tag at more than $1.2 billion, including debt.

A few thoughts:

• While Fleet Farm is headquartered in Brainerd, it has long been an important employer in my hometown of Appleton, Wisconsin. Hundreds of people who work in merchandising and operations are headquartered there and a lot of people are likely getting nervous about it.
• The notion put forth is that KKR is going to expand the brand beyond the area where Fleet Farm currently operates (the Dakotas, Minnesota and Wisconsin). I'm a big fan of Fleet Farm, but I'm not sure what they do will translate well in other parts of the country. Put it this way -- I don't expect we'll be seeing orange silos in New Jersey any time soon.
• Some people are speculating that the sale is more about the political ambitions of Stewart Mills, who will again run for Congress in this cycle. I don't think that's the reason for the sale, though. Mills has plenty of money for his campaign.

The larger question, in my mind, is whether a giant conglomerate will really embrace what makes Fleet Farm a successful operation. Most retailers target the female customer; Fleet Farm has called itself "The Man's Mall" and has pursued a decidedly male customer base. One thing worth noting, though -- for all the farm equipment and tires that Fleet Farm sells, it has always been a formidable softlines retailer and clothing is a huge part of their overall assortment. I wonder if that will be a focus for the new ownership. It's going to be fascinating to watch.

The west

I don't trust most of what I read about the standoff taking place in Oregon, but I did find this map useful:

Control

The role of the federal government differs substantially in the western part of the country, because much of the land itself is under federal control. If anything, the amount of land under federal control has increased since 2004. And how the feds manage the land can have huge impacts on those who own land in those states. It's not coincidental that most of the major wildfires we have in the United States take place in areas where the feds control much of the land.

You can read more about the case here. I am skeptical about mandatory minimum sentences, which are at issue in this case. What I would suggest is this: most of the people who are either sneering at the principals involved, or who are shouting "terrorism" about the actions of the always annoying Bundy family, need to think a bit more about the larger context. We are always admonished to be more nuanced in our thinking. Wouldn't hurt in this case, either.

Question for the audience

If you drive in the Twin Cities, have you noticed that a lot of the overhead lighting on the expressways seems to be turned off at night? I have noticed that all the lights on the 35W bridge over the Minnesota River aren't being turned on -- I've seen this during my morning commute and noticed it as we were coming home last night. I also noticed that on various stretches of 35W elsewhere in town, it seems as though only half the overhead lights are in operation. This seems like a dangerous idea and I haven't seen any public discussion of the topic. Anyone have any idea why this change has taken place?

Road trip

We took the Benster back down to Galesburg for school over the weekend, a mostly uneventful trip. A few brief observations:

• We stayed in Moline and as a result got a little dose of the carpet bombing of political ads that are running in the Iowa market. There are times I wish that Minnesota got a little more attention from the national campaigns, but this is not one of those times. Based on an admittedly small sample size, it became clear that Jeb Bush's Super PAC has decided to destroy Marco Rubio and make the rubble bounce. Not sure it's going to help Jeb any, but it's interesting to see. Ted Cruz is also on the air a fair amount and Hillary is ubiquitous. I think Hillary has reason to be nervous about Bernie Sanders in Iowa and her constant ad presence suggests that she knows it.
• We ended up spending a little time at the SouthPark Mall in Moline, which features an interesting selection of major department stores, including a Von Maur and a Dillard's, a department store chain that's concentrated more in the southern tier. The mall itself was a bit of a ghost town and I continue to wonder about the fate of traditional brick and mortar retailers; one would expect things to be a little more lively at 6:30 p.m. on a Saturday evening.
• We also tried Chick-fil-A for the first time. They are now entering the Twin Cities market but they don't have any locations that are in our immediate vicinity. I wouldn't want to eat it every day, and you can't because they are closed on Sundays, but I will say that the sandwich I had was straight up delicious. I think Chick-fil-A will do well here.
• Gas prices are fantastic at the moment. We paid $1.59/gallon in Clear Lake, Iowa, and we ended up spending less than $60 on gas for this journey, which totals about 850 miles round-trip. These prices won't last, but it's certainly helped ease some of the other expenses involved in taking your son to college.
• I also heard a few football games happened over the weekend. Maybe we'll talk about those later on.

Benster and D Pick Your Games -- Showdown Weekend Edition

Okay, Old Dude, this weekend is pretty simple. Two games, all divisional. That's all.

Cut and dried. Any room for HYYYYYYYPPPPPE?

Of course there is. The division title is on the line. How much more HYYYYYYPPPPEEE! do you need?

I guess that does it.

That's right. Now stand back and watch me work!

Detroit LOLions (-1) vs. Bear Down Chicago da Bearz. Man, no respect for da Bearz! Home dog? Really? Against the LOLions? Really? Are you sure? That has to be a mistake. This game is only for pride and both teams kinda suck this year. If you have to watch this game instead of a better game, about which more in a moment, I am very sorry for you. Da Bearz 2, LOLions 0.

A safety. Yeah, that's about right. Actually, the Lions have been playing a little better lately and are in the middle of trying to save Jim Caldwell's job. Not sure it will happen, though. As for da Bearz, a lot of injuries have really derailed their season. I think they are bringing back Brian Baschnagel for a game. Ken Margerum is also rumored to be on the speed dial. It's a hard knock life for the Bears. Bears 21, LOLions 17.

Minnesota Vikings (+3) vs. Glorious Green Bay Packers. This couldn't be simpler. If you win, you get the division and a home playoff game. If you lose, you go to Washington, most likely. The Vikings fan base seems to be very excited about this game. I don't blame them. The Vikings have played very well this year and appear to be on the proverbial roll. The problem is, they lost to the Packers at home. Now, they come to Lambeau. The Packers have a veteran group who have a lot of pride, and they are looking to atone for a dismal performance in the desert last week. The Vikings certainly have a shot here, but the Packers have more experience. Packers 35, Vikings 17.

The Packers are pretty dinged up right now. The entire offensive line is on the injury report this week and there's reason to question whether they will be healthy enough to handle a pretty good Vikings defensive line. The good news for the Packers is that it now appears that Linval Joseph will not play, which means things will be less complicated for the Packer O-line. The other problem is that the Packers aren't scoring much. On defense, the Packers will have to handle Adrian Peterson and make Teddy Bridgewater one-dimensional. It sounds like Sam Shields will play, which will make a big difference. Close game, for sure. Packers 24, Vikings 23.

Whatever happens, the postgame call-in shows are gonna be interesting. Ben out!

Light posting for the next few days

Real life intervenes, as it often does. Benster should be stopping by for picks later, though. If you're so inclined, you can still get into the 2016 Dead Pool if you enter by the end of the day tomorrow. Details here.

Have at it

Happy New Year! As we look out over the gaping maw of 2016, we have some helpful observations and suggestions from the guy who seems to be carrying Andrew Breitbart's banner, Milo "Nero" Yiannopolous:

In a world where looking righteous is more important than doing good, making pure, socially-just art is preferred to, say, discussing the sex slaves of ISIS. Policing Twitter is more urgent than policing a neighbourhood. Superficially kind words and intentions replace genuinely kind acts. According to social justice, a savage world is fine, as long as our art, media, news and humour remain milquetoast.

And more:

The public is getting sick of nasty, spiteful rants from people who pretend that their objectives are nice-sounding things like “diversity” and “equality” but who are really just bullies. “Why does no one like me?” cries the SJW. Maybe because without regard to your race, creed, colour, gender, sexual orientation, et. al., the content of your character just sucks. Here’s a tip for social justice goons: sometimes when you think the rest of the world is mad and evil… it’s not them, it’s you.

And more still:

Unlike radical progressives, cultural libertarians will never give you a banned book list. We want you to expand your mind, not your obedience to a rigidly-defined cult of conformity. Read your enemies, too. Listen to their media, browse their books, read their columns. Scout, probe, learn the ways of people you can’t stand so you know their arguments before they make them. Over-read, over-prepare, then win so decisively nobody forgets it. Forge unlikely alliances.

And even more:

Be funny. Nothing terrifies an authoritarian more than the sound of laughter. Ridicule and mirth in the face of anger and vitriol are our secret and deadly weapon. No one can resist the truth wrapped up in a good joke. And remember to push the boundaries in your humour, too. If they’re easily outraged, then be even more outrageous. The runaway success of my #FeminismIsCancer hashtag over Christmas has proven that you can say whatever you want, provided it’s twice as funny as it is offensive. And, of course, provided that it’s true.

More, lots more, at the link. While I'd personally rather praise than mock, there are times when mockery is the better path. Now is one of those times.

Dawn breaks for Mr. Dent

Stephen Dent is uneasy about his new friends, according to the Star Tribune:

“I’m about as liberal as you can get in this world,” Dent said. “And I hate to say it, but my goodness it’s all the conservatives that are supporting me. It makes me nervous.”

Scary indeed. Why is Mr. Dent receiving support from conservatives? Well, he got doxxed:

Minneapolis City Council Member Alondra Cano said she was trying to keep discussion of Black Lives Matter issues “in public light” by broadcasting on Twitter critical messages sent to her office last week.

Her decision to tweet several messages critiquing her involvement in a Dec. 23 rally at the Mall of America, including the senders’ contact information, has since drawn an ethics complaint from one of the people whose information was disclosed. 

That would be Mr. Dent who filed the ethics complaint. And I'm glad he did. It apparently isn't illegal to publish the contact information of your political opponents in Minnesota, but it's a very bad practice in a time when the pitchforks are always close by. If you are a public servant, and Ms. Cano is, retaliating against your constituents is a terrible practice. Not that Cano seems to understand that:

Cano was accused of “doxing,” Internet parlance for publicizing someone’s personal information online. But Cano rejected the label Wednesday, saying the term is typically associated with the intentional targeting and harassment of someone.

“I did neither of those,” Cano said. “And my intention was never to put anyone in harm’s way.”

She's just a soul whose intentions are good. Oh Lord, please don't let her be misunderstood. But there's more:

Cano said she posted the messages because “I think that it’s a way to keep this public discussion going and keep it in public light. And not pretend like I hadn’t gotten any e-mails or ignore them.”

As for why she included the contact information, rather than redacting it, Cano said it wasn’t feasible in the rush of posting live Twitter updates about the rally.

“Honestly, I just didn’t have time,” Cano said. “I was at the mall, using my phone, I was running around. It was kind of a thing that was happening at the moment and responding to those issues in that timely manner matters.”

Do you accept that explanation? Seriously? She just didn't have time? We send representatives to the halls of government because we expect them to take the time to consider the issues and offer reasoned responses. She is a member of a deliberative body. If a few of her constituents get run over in the process, they need to understand Cano's needs first, you see.

Cano later deleted the tweets and said she worried that the online backlash from what she described as the “white supremacy community” was detracting from the broader point of the protests.

So, is Mr. Dent a member of the "white supremacy community?" I'm guessing no. Remember, he's as liberal as you can get in this world, so how could he be part of that? I'm assuming that Ms. Cano just doesn't have time to make those distinctions, either.

"Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard," said H. L. Mencken. Mr. Dent just got it.

Benster and D Pick Your Games---New Year's Day Edition

It's time to pick some better bowl games than the Belk Bowl or the Quick Lane Bowl. For some reason, New Year's Eve has the better bowl matchups this year.

I was looking forward to the Belk Bowl.

I have to say, for a rapidly aging suburban guy who swigs Geritol like it's Gatorade, looking forward to the Belk Bowl is an admission of failure.

Well, I do need to pay ESPN its respects.

Whatever ESPN wants, ESPN gets.

Of that, there is no doubt. Besides that, why waste your skills on a game like that?

Now you're making feel just a little bit guilty, so I would like to apologize for not picking a crappy bowl game. I'm trying to preserve the HYYYYYYPPPPE! for games that deserve them, and let's face it -- at the end of the day we're all about the preservation of pure intentions and rarefied HYYYYYPPPE! So watch me work!

The Holiday Bowl -- USC Trojans (-3) vs. Beloved Wisconsin Badgers, in San Diego. First of all, now I must criticize the supreme masters of all things sport, ESPN, a second time. Why is this game scheduled to start so late? I get that you want to play in prime time, but the Central Time Zone has more people and let's face it, most of the people in California are too busy paying off snail darter taxes and crossing off items from Gov. Brown's wish list to have time to watch football. Anyway, the Trojans have survived a season of chaos to get to this game, despite the fact that they have the talent to be playing in the Rose Bowl. Wisconsin has looked shaky, but they will let ol' Joel Stave have one more round tonight. U$C is always overrated, and I expect the Trojans to learn what the U found out a few years back -- nasty Big Ten schools can beat up on pretty boys. Badgers 34, Probation Nation 9.

USC is talented -- no doubt about it. They have superior athletes all over the field, but they have been pretty chaotic this year. It didn't help that their former coach Steve Sarkisian was channeling this guy:

Can Bucky win? Sure. Why not? Wisconsin 24, USC 20.

Orange Bowl -- Oklahoma Boomer Sooners (-4) vs. Clemson Tigers, in Miami Gardens. Both these teams are surprising because they were not expected to win their respective conferences. Clemson finally broke through and they are considered to be the best team in the nation. Oklahoma is here despite the fact that they lost to freaking Texas. Bob Stoops can't coach in big games anymore, so I expect him to get canned after this debacle. Clemson 59, Chokelahoma 0.

You have to like a guy named Dabo. And the Clemson Tigers have a lot of talent on both sides of the ball. Oklahoma can score in bunches, but they haven't seen too many good defenses up to this point. They will this time. Clemson 31, Oklahoma 24.

Cotton Bowl -- Michigan State Spartans (+10) vs. Alabama Crimson Tide. The major subplot to this game is that Nick Saban faces his former employer. Alabama is very good, but they have not had experience in close games lately. Sparty has beaten evil Ohio State and Iowa at the time of asking, so Sparty will use senior leadership to show that the Big Ten is the new power in college football. Sparty 23, Tide Rolled 8.

It's tough to pick against Sparty, but I'm going to. The problem is that Connor Cook, the decorated Spartan quarterback, has been playing through some pretty serious injuries. Alabama is a relentless bunch and they will find ways to exploit any weakness. They also have the Heisman Trophy winner on their side. Close game, but.... Alabama 27, Michigan State 24.

Rose Bowl -- Iowa Hawkeyes (+6) vs. Stanford Cardinal, in Pasadena. The Rose Bowl goes back to a traditional Big Ten/PAC 12 format. This year, there is far less HYYYYYYYPPPPEE! because I am not in Southern California to personally witness the event, but this should be a great football game. Both teams are fundamentally sound and are well-coached. Can Iowa bounce back after Michigan State ripped out millions of Black and Gold hearts out in Indy? Stanford 34, Iowa 31.

It comes down to this -- can the Hawkeyes stop Christian McCaffrey, one of the best running backs in the country? If they can, they win. If not, well. . . Stanford 28, Iowa 24.

Fiesta Bowl -- Notre Dame Fighting Irish (+6.5) vs. The Ohio State University Buckeyes. Two of the most hated teams in the country are going to play each other. I don't know who I want to root for, because Notre Dame is a bit haughty at times, and long time readers will know I am not welcome in the Buckeye media tent. Ohio State is better, but Urban Meyer needs to get a hold of some of his players. Ohio State 7, Notre Dame 5. (Just skip this game and watch the Rose Bowl instead.)

7-5? Who is pitching in this one? The Buckeyes have been inconsistent all season, but they are a better team overall. That will show up in the desert. Ohio State 31, Notre Dame 20.

Okay -- that will be it for now. We'll be back for the big NFL showdowns later in the week. Ben out!

Bring Out Your Dead Pool -- Back for 2016

Fun for the entire family!

Because we were traveling in California last year, I didn't get around to renewing the Dead Pool for the previous year, so we just let the 2014 Dead Pool picks ride through 2015. As the year quickly comes to a close, let's take a look at where we ended up:

Benster's picks:
Jimmy Carter
Ralph Wilson -- RIP (3/25/14)
Pope Benedict XVI
Bashar Assad
Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Fantasy Football Superstar Gino's picks:
George H. W. Bush
Bob Dole
Betty White
Zsa Zsa Gabor
George Zimmerman
Angelina Jolie

My picks:
Eli Wallach -- RIP (6/24/14)
Theodore Hesburgh -- RIP (2/27/15)
John Kundla
Al Molinaro -- RIP (10/30/15)
Harper Lee
Rob Ford

Ace Commenter Brian's picks:
Dick Cheney
Fidel Castro
Billy Graham
#3 guy in Al Qaida
#2 guy in North Korea -- RIP (4/30/15)

First Ringer's picks:
Jerry Lewis
Kirk Douglas
John McVie
Valerie Harper
Frankie Muniz

The obvious conclusion? Celebrities who wish for longevity should find a way to have this distinguished panel select them to die. A second conclusion? Some people who were on these lists aren't in the news much any more. Does anyone think of Rob Ford these days? And the final conclusion: I kicked all y'all's butts.

So, here are the rules:

• Pick 5-6 people who you believe are going to begin the long dirt nap in the coming year. Five should be people who are old, infirm or notably reckless (the Amy Winehouse model), while the bonus sixth pick should be someone who no one would see coming.
• Previous competitors, should they choose to play, can carry over up to two of their previous picks to 2016. For the record, I am carrying over John Kundla, the former Minneapolis Lakers coach who is still hanging on into his late 90s.
• Send me your picks in the comments section by no later than the end of the day on January 3, 2016 to enter. First come, first serve!

One bit of housekeeping; other than Kundla, I'll have the rest of my picks made by end of day today; I need to speak to my elite actuarial advisory team first. Have fun!

Collateral damage

Not the stupidest tweet I've ever seen, but pretty close:

What a maroon

Huh -- you mean collateral doesn't matter any more? Cool!

RIP, Lemmy and (Meadowlark) Lemon

It must have been an interesting day for St. Peter at the gates of Heaven. We lost Meadowlark Lemon and Lemmy Kilmister yesterday.

How do you sum up Lemmy? I've always been fond of this quote:

There's always a place in the world for a cheerful reprobate and Lemmy was probably the exemplar of this type. As the leader of Motörhead, he played a no-nonsense version of headbang metal. He liked drinking and screwing around and was unapologetic about it. And he lived to be 70 years old, somehow. Another quote:

"People don't become better when they're dead; you just talk about them as if they are. But it's not true! People are still assholes, they're just dead assholes!"

So they are. I can't say that I listen to Lemmy's music very much, but I always appreciated his unvarnished, and I mean extremely unvarnished, wit. RIP.

Then there was Meadowlark Lemon, the Clown Prince of Basketball and the leader of the Harlem Globetrotters, who passed away yesterday at the age of 83. Kids of my generation saw a lot of the Harlem Globetrotters, between their regular appearances on ABC's Wide World of Sports program and their continual barnstorming. I saw them as a kid when they came to the Brown County Arena and Meadowlark was an amazing guy to watch:

The "games" against the hapless Washington Generals were always silly and a lot of the schtick was predictable, but the Globetrotters were all about entertainment and you couldn't help but smile when you watched them. Not many people can make that claim. RIP.

Lightning Round -- 122815

Random thoughts from a holiday weekend:

• I was going to complain about the snow we're going to get today, but then I saw what happened in Texas from this same storm. We have snowplows and the know-how to dig out from snowstorms, but a tornado is another matter entirely.
• We saw the new Star Wars movie over the weekend. Is it Great Art? Of course not, but it's a good popcorn movie and it hits most of the right notes for rebooting the franchise. I didn't bother with the Star Wars movies that came out around 2000 and from what I've been told, I didn't miss much. I'm irritated with Goth Vader, a/k/a Kilo Kylo Ren, the new bad guy, who is more hamdinger than Hamlet, but the rest is good clean fun. You can never go back to 1977, but the new movie is worth a look, especially at a matinee price. 
• Yes, I know the Packers played a miserably bad game yesterday. I don't think they're that good this year, but I reject the idea that it's time to clean house. The Vikings are coming on, though, and they're going to be a problem for the next few years.
• I don't know when we started looking to Al-Jazeera for sports coverage, but the reporting they are offering concerning Peyton Manning using Human Growth Hormone seems to be falling apart. I'm in the middle of reading a fascinating book on the rivalry between Manning and Tom Brady and the notion that Manning would use HGH doesn't ring true. Then again, I used to believe a lot of things about Tiger Woods that didn't turn out to be true.

Benster and D Pick Your Games -- NFL and Emergency Bowl Game Edition

Old dude, I'm feeling the HYYYYYPPPPPEEE! We are less than three days away from the biggest sporting event in history!

Wait, what?

That's right, Geritol Fan! It's the Belk Bowl! Check it out!

The Hub of Fashion in the Carolinas. Get it.

That is exciting. But don't we have a few games to pick in the meantime.

Yes, but I want to set the stage. Check out that happening line art! That's some kick-butt advertising right there, old dude!

I'm pretty sure it was all the rage back in the day.

Not my day. Now watch me work!

Bear Down Chicago da Bearz (+3) vs. Tampa Bay Winstons. This game is a bigger dog than a St. Bernard on steroids. We're only bothering with this because (a) Gino would complain if we don't address it, and (b) we want to consider the exciting running back duel between Matt Forte and Doug Martin. Unless you play fantasy football, don't even bother watching this game. Unless you're Gino. If you're Gino, go right ahead. Creamsicles 70, da Bearz 0.

So I take it that you're favoring Doug Martin, then. The Bears have had their moments, but at this point they are probably better off losing games and getting a better draft pick. They still have needs to address and I'm pretty sure they'll have multiple scouts in attendance at the Belk Bowl. Bucs 24, Bears 21.

New York Football Giants (+6) vs. Minnesota Vikings. By the time this game starts, the Giants could be eliminated from the playoffs. That's not a bad thing, because no one want to see this again:

Might want a little ointment there, Frosty Face

The Vikings, on the other hand, are pretty much guaranteed a spot in the playoffs and they will have a chance to win the division next week at Lambeau. However, they have to take care of business. They catch a break because Odell Beckham Jr. decided to go full ninja last week and is now suspended for the game, which means the Giants will be going with Phil McConkey or someone like that at receiver. This is a game the Vikings should win. Giants 24, Vikings 21.

Wow. Uh, no. If the Vikings can't win this game, they don't deserve to be in the playoffs. The Giants are a tough team to read this year and they've been up and down all season. The one thing I wonder about is whether Teddy Bridgewater can handle the cold, since the forecast indicates a dip in temperatures for tomorrow night. As long as he handles it better than Tom Coughlin, the Vikings should be okay. Vikings 31, Giants 24.

Glorious Green Bay Packers (+4) vs. Arizona Cardinals. This game is a critical one. If the Cardinals win, they lock up the #2 seed and get a bye. If the Packers win, they could be the #2 seed if they take care of business at Lambeau. The issue is that the Cardinals are really, really, really, really good. They have an outstanding offense and a disciplined defense and they have played well all year long. The Packers have been shaky, but they have won three in a row, so that makes for an interesting question -- if the Packers get off to a hot start, how many Packers fans are going to make noise? There will be a lot of Green and Gold in the building, since the Cardinals always have plenty of opposing fans at their games. Packers 41, Raising Arizona 38.

That would be great. I don't see it. The Packers need to play defense to win this game, because I don't see the offense scoring 41 points against anyone this year. It's going to take their best effort. I wouldn't be surprised if we see it, but I'm skeptical that they will win. Cardinals 31, Packers 28.

Emergency Bowl Game Edition -- Quick Lane Bowl, at Detroit -- Minnesota Golden Gophers (-4) vs. Central Michigan Chippewas. Now, this ain't the Belk Bowl, but we are obligated to pick this game. The Gophers got into this game because, well, somebody had to and the Quick Lane Bowl officials were concerned that Macalester wouldn't sell enough tickets. The Gophers should win, but Central Michigan is a good MAC team. Gophers 7, Chips 0.

Sounds like a scintillating matchup. It's a good deal for the Gophers because they were able to get some extra practices in and that will help them next season, but let's face it -- a 5-7 team really shouldn't be in a bowl game. Of course, they are in Detroit, so that's punishment enough. I predict the winning team will throw a Hail Mary to win. Gophers 27, Chippewas 23.

There are way too many bowl games. ESPN needs some sort of programming and thank the Lord that Skip Bayless is not doing play-by-play for any of them. I understand that, for this week only, Skip has been locked in a fitting room at a Belk store someplace in the Carolinas. Ben out!

Let's be careful out there

I've long believed that some people are only on this earth to serve as a cautionary tale:

A man fell off a cliff to his death on Christmas day while apparently distracted by his cell phone.

Bill Bender with San Diego Lifeguards at Sunset Cliffs told NBC San Diego: 'Witnesses stated seeing someone distracted by an electronic device and he just fell over the edge.

'(He) wasn't watching where he was walking, he was looking down at the device in his hands.'

He was declared dead at the scene, the television station reported.

No word on whether his cell phone was supplied by the Acme Company.

It's a sad ending, of course. The man was apparently in his 30s. It's possible he had a family, too -- we don't have that information in the article. Still, it's a ridiculous way to die and completely avoidable. There's nothing on your phone that merits your attention more than paying attention to your surroundings, especially if you're walking along a cliff. Stay in the moment -- you might experience something that matters.

Isaiah 9 1:6

The people who walked in darkness
have seen a great light;
Upon those who lived in a land of gloom
a light has shone

You have brought them abundant joy
and great rejoicing;
They rejoice before you as people rejoice at harvest,
as they exult when dividing the spoils.

For the yoke that burdened them,
the pole on their shoulder,
The rod of their taskmaster,
you have smashed, as on the day of Midian.

For every boot that tramped in battle,
every cloak rolled in blood,
will be burned as fuel for fire

For a child is born to us, a son is given to us;
upon his shoulder dominion rests.
They name him Wonder-Counselor, God-Hero
Father-Forever, Prince of Peace.

His dominion is vast
and forever peaceful,
Upon David’s throne, and over his kingdom,
which he confirms and sustains
By judgment and justice,
both now and forever
The zeal of the LORD of hosts will do this!

Point of order

So what, precisely, is the real purpose of attempting to shut down the airport on one of the busiest travel days of the year?

Hundreds of protesters shut down stores, light-rail trains and traffic to the airport Wednesday afternoon, creating a rolling wave of disruption on one of the busiest travel and shopping days of the year.

Organizers with Black Lives Matter Minneapolis had announced plans to protest at the Mall of America as they did before Christmas one year ago, but they expanded the protest beyond the mall, splintering into smaller groups to take over several light-rail stations and Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport.

Multiple law enforcement agencies showed up in full force, ushering protesters off roadways to and from the airport terminals, patrolling light-rail stations and shutting down security checkpoints at Terminal 2 (Humphrey) in case protesters tried to access the secure area on the day before Christmas Eve. There were more than 100 officers at the Mall of America alone, mostly from the Bloomington Police Department.

Is the idea to win people over to a cause? Or is it something else?

“We accomplished exactly what we came here to accomplish — we wanted to shut down the highway, shut down the airport and show solidarity with other Black Lives Matter groups,” said Michelle Barnes of Minneapolis, one of the protest organizers.

Again, what does it accomplish?

At the airport, some travelers may have missed flights due to the closed roads and extra traffic congestion. Samantha Herman, 16, of Madison, S.D., was hurrying to catch a flight to Detroit to visit her father for Christmas, but she said she was worried she would miss the flight even though it was delayed an hour.

“We waited for an hour just to get into the stupid airport,” she said, adding that there was no other flight Wednesday to replace hers if she missed it.

So a 16-year old person who is attempting to travel from South Dakota to Detroit needs to have their day disrupted and their travel plans wrecked. There's a moral imperative in that?

“We raised the bar,” said Pastor Danny Givens of Above Every Name Church in St. Paul after protesting outside Terminal 1. “We let the nation and the world know that black lives matter.”

When Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat, when the young men at the lunch counters in the South were attempting to have lunch, the goal was noble. Disrupting the travel plans of 16-year olds from South Dakota clearly rises to the same level of nobility.

You can see a gallery of pictures from yesterday at the Star Tribune; this one gives the game away:

Self-absorption matters

No one is silencing this young woman. I wouldn't be surprised if people get tired of listening to her, but that's a different matter. Perhaps she could remove the tape from her mouth and explain the moral imperative of inconveniencing 16-year olds from South Dakota.

The Schlong and Winding Road

I've decided that Donald Trump is actually an unholy amalgam of Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, Andrew "Dice" Clay and Otto West, the character that Kevin Kline played in "A Fish Called Wanda." For his latest act, he's broken out the Yiddish:

I don't know that anyone has ever used "schlong" as a verb in a presidential campaign before. That's part of Trump's appeal, I guess -- his tendency to say any damned thing on his mind is what his fans love.

Then again, we're clearly in a season where just about anything goes. Consider this cartoon from Ann Telnaes of the Washington Post, in which she portrays the daughters of Ted Cruz, who are 7 and 5, as monkeys:

WaPo took it down, but it deserves to be remembered

Apparently this is okay because Cruz featured his daughters in a political ad he ran last week.

I'm guessing Telnaes will be forced to issue a non-apology apology later today, but her explanation of her cartoon demonstrates that, well, certain children deserve it:

But when a politician uses his children as political props, as Ted Cruz recently did in his Christmas parody video in which his eldest daughter read (with her father’s dramatic flourish) a passage of an edited Christmas classic, then I figure they are fair game.

You know what? I'd rather see Telnaes not bother with the ritual non-apology apology. She honestly thinks it's okay to go after people's children to make a political point. Now we know what she is and how she views the world. And if we give Donald Trump a few days, he'll probably find a way to work in the proper Yiddish term to describe Telnaes.

OMG TRO MOA BLM WTF #belaborthepoint

The holiday season is upon us and as always, there are plenty of returns:

With a planned demonstration by Black Lives Matter at the Mall of America less than two days away, a Hennepin County judge on Monday heard arguments over whether the shopping complex has the right to a restraining order against protesters.

In its request, the mall named four leaders of Black Lives Matter and asked Judge Karen Janisch to prevent them from encouraging people to demonstrate Wednesday and to take down any social media messages about the event.

The mall also wanted Black Lives Matter to post a social media message canceling the demonstration and to post a copy of the judge's restraining order, if one is issued.

Attorney Jordan Kushner, representing the named Black Lives Matter leaders, said the mall seeks to restrict the constitutional right to free speech.

I don't have a dog in this fight, but I suspect the entire BLM movement is running out of gas. The Jamar Clark case gave them an excuse to continue protesting, but it's difficult to see the point of returning to the Mall of America, other than to be irritating. And while you can argue that BLM is championing free speech, they aren't necessarily fans of due process, as the Star Tribune reports:

Organizers have no plans to halt the demonstration, they say, unless authorities release the tapes related to Jamar Clark's case, prosecute police by special prosecutor without a grand jury and bring federal terrorism charges against those accused of shooting five protesters in November near a protest at the Fourth Precinct police headquarters.

Can't have a grand jury involved, because they might not reach the decision that BLM wants. Actually, my favorite novel legal theory from BLM is this one, also from the Star Tribune article:

This isn't just about Black Lives Matter, Noor said, but for everybody's free speech.

She said the mall is the "people's space" because of all the taxpayer subsidies it has received over the years. She said Janisch appeared open and fair during the hearing.

So, if a homeowner takes out an FHA loan, which is ultimately subsidized by the taxpayers, does that mean BLM has the right to start chanting in your breakfast nook? And next year, do you suppose that BLM will be able to march out on the field during the middle of a Vikings game because their new stadium will also be subsidized by the taxpayers? Good luck with that one.

Lightning round -- 122115

Let's cover the waterfront:

• I watched a fair amount of the DNC debate on Saturday. It was generally a snooze fest. I'm not particularly inclined to like any of the three candidates on offer, so there's not much to say about it. Hillary Clinton is going to win easily, primarily because she's less ridiculous than her competitors. 
• The omnibus budget bill that came down from Capitol Hill is a disgrace and you can find any number of commentators who can explain why. I keep seeing reports that someone is going to primary Paul Ryan, but I notice that the reports don't come from anyone in Wisconsin, so I would be skeptical of that. Not that he doesn't deserve it, though.
• My friend Brad Carlson, who understands a little bit about being the emcee at a beauty pageant, has an amusing wrapup of the fiasco ending of the Miss Universe Pageant last night, in which host Steve Harvey inadvertently gave the crown to the wrong contestant. I'm hoping that Harvey can figure out a way to get these folks on Family Feud at some point.
• The Packers are in the playoffs and the Vikings are almost certainly going to be a playoff team as well. While the Carolina Panthers are 14-0, I'm not convinced they are a great team. This year feels like one where we will see a surprise winner in the Super Bowl. I suspect that once you get in the tournament, all bets are off.