So all right fellas, we're back. And did you notice something? I beat you last week, Decrepit!
Yeah, I noticed that, since you've mentioned it about every 10 minutes or so.
Just wanted to be sure, Dad. Okay, so let's get down to bidness.
Wisconsin Badgers (+2 1/2) vs. Minnesota Golden Gophers. Apparently there's another Minnesota vs. Wisconsin football game. But this one only features guys who play for 4 years. Both quarterbacks are very similar but I think the difference is going to be the ground game. Minnesota 28, Wisconsin 17.
So let me get this straight, youngblood. You think the difference is going to be the running game, but you've picked the team with the inferior running game to win? I'm confused. But not as confused as the Gophers will be at the end. It will be close, but the Axe goes back to Madison. Wisconsin 35, Minnesota 29.
Meeshegan Wolverines (+2) vs. Sparty the Spartan. Well, nothing like picking a good rivalry game. I have to say that Michigan looks pretty impressive to date and I don't see a lot of good things happening in East Lansing for the home club. Meeshegan 31, Sparty 23.
Here's the deal on this one, grasshopper. The Spartans are in a tailspin. If they lose this one, their season is pretty much over. The Wolverines are much improved, but it's always dangerous to play a desperate team on the road. Sparty 34, Meeshegan 27.
Lake Forest College Foresters (NL) vs. Beloved Beloit College Buccaneers. We're going to Beloit this weekend for Mrs. D's college reunion and we'll see some of this game while we're there. I don't know a lot about either team, so unfortunately for all you Beloit College fans, I'm going to have to pick against them. Lake Forest 21, Beloit 7.
You think I'm going to pick against my alma mater, young fella? No. Way. Jose. Let's give the Bucs a little love and remember that they beat LF last year. And they'll do it again in front of the soggy home crowd. Beloit 34, Lake Forest 19.
Detroit Lions (+10) vs. Bear Down Chicago da Bearz. Well Gino and Rich, I'm siding with you on on this one. Detroit is Detroit and Matt Forte, Jay Cutler and Devin Hester are all going to have some fun in the Windy City. Bear Down Chicago da Bearz 40, Motor City Kitties 0.
I don't think the Lions are that bad. But they won't win on Sunday. Da Bearz are actually looking like a pretty good team, as much as it pains me to say it. Da Bearz 31, Lions 20.
Baltimore Ravens (+2) vs. New England Patriots. Mr. Brady is back and the jury is still out on him, at least for me. I know a little bit about anatomy and coming back from significant knee damage is very painful. Especially when Ray Lewis is draped all over you. Unfortunately, it's going to be tough for the Ravens playing a desperate team at home -- that's my Dad's theory so I'm stealing it. New England 31, Baltimore 17.
Well, it's about time you pay attention to one of my theories, whippersnapper. And as it turns out, I agree with your analysis. New England 24, Baltimore 10.
Glorious Green Bay Packers (+3 1/2) vs. Minnesota Vikings. Well, where do we begin? #4 is going to be playing his old team in his new home, where he's struggled for most of his storied career. The Packers come into this game looking for some blocking, but facing the Williams Wall and Jared Allen, whose very face would make an excellent Halloween mask, but the dark side will prevail! That's right, I'm calling it! Packers 40, Norsemen 39.
I'd love for you to be right, Seabiscuit, but it's awfully hard to score points when your quarterback is lying on his back with a dude with a mullet on top of him. And I'm afraid that's what we're going to see. Oh, it pains me to make this pick, but here it is: Vikings 24, Packers 13.
Do you fellows remember when I said Tim Tebow was the man? Well, he got a concussion, which made me think about some curses in sports. You've heard of the SI Jinx, the Madden cover curse and maybe even the Campbell's Chunky Soup curse. Now there's the Benster and D curse. So maybe I should talk up #4, He Who Must Not Be Named, Benedict Arnold, and any other name for a traitor you could think of. There's your wisdom from Benster. Do with it what you will!