Friday, November 26, 2010

Benster and D Pick Your Games -- Adam Weber and Chilly Disappear Edition

Thanksgiving is over, baybee! So we now return you to your regularly scheduled HYYYYYYPPPPPE!

Never seems to be in short supply around here, Grasshopper.

I'm like the Energizer Bunny, old dude -- I keep going and going and going. And I'm going to kick your butt a little further with picks shortly. You're okay with that, right?

Uh, no. But we'll see what happens.

Iowa Stanzis (-15 1/2) vs. Minnesota Golden Roadkill. It's the end of the line for Adam Weber, Gopher quarterback and garbageman supreme. I've heard rumors that he's in contention for a management trainee position with Waste Management, but he might want to waste a few years as an NFL backup before he becomes a minister of refuse. We've picked on Weber a lot here, but he's a guy you actually have to admire. He could have had Ricky Stanzi's job and probably would have played on New Year's Day a number of times, but he was loyal to the Gophers. That's cool. But it won't stop the Hawkeyes from thrashing him one last time, just for old time's sake. It's time for a touch of Gray -- Marqueis Gray, that is. Hayden Fry Nation 100, Roadkill 35.

Well, that was a touching sendoff for our friend and neighbor from Shoreview. I guess you Irondale guys have no love for a Mounds View grad! Anyway, the problem has never been Adam Weber. The problem is the carousel of coaches and systems he's had to endure the last four seasons. It might actually help him get a sniff with the NFL, because anyone who has had to learn so many systems should be able to learn an NFL system with ease. And I'd be happy to make six figures holding a clipboard. Iowa can forget the Big Ten title this year and they'll be in an ornery mood after what's happened lately. But at least there probably won't be any bad Iowa fan behavior in the restrooms at TCF Bank Stadium because they don't serve alcohol and it's outdoors. Iowa 34, Gophers 17.

Northwestern Wildcat Offense (+23) vs. Beloved Wisconsin Badgers. Meanwhile in Madison, the Badgers have some hope of smelling Roses. If they win and Ohio State doesn't lose to Meeshegan, the Badgers will likely be headed for Pasadena. That's pretty good incentive not to screw this one up. Northwestern is down one Dan Persa, who might have been the Big Ten Player of the Year had he not been injured a few weeks ago. Do you think a freshman quarterback will come into Madison and beat a Badger team that has been scoring points in huge bunches lately? The Badger offense reminds me of the Blitzkrieg, because they'll just run you over and Northwestern looks a lot like the Belgian countryside. Matt LePay Nation 101, Belgium 0.

I think the Badgers will face a little more resistance than the Wehrmacht did. But I don't see Northwestern doing much to stop Montee Ball or John Clay or James White. Pasadena, anyone? Wisconsin 49, Northwestern 21.

Minnesota Childress-Free Vikings (+1) vs. Washington Unacceptably High Federal Spending. Unfortunately, the election is now over so I can't make fun of politicians. But I can make fun of Donovan McNabb. So I wonder if the Chunky Soup Curse is finally catching up to McNabb. So here's the question for this game -- is Leslie Frazier auditioning for a 2011 job with the Vikings, or is Donovan McNabb? The Vikings like to take really old quarterbacks and play them, but I don't think Donovan McNabb isn't likely to get in trouble with his cell phone, so maybe the Vikings will take a pass. I was Brad Childress for Halloween once and no one knew who I was. Now no one cares who Brad Childress is, so I guess that's symbolic or something. Skins 20, Down Goes Frazier 19.

I don't know what to expect. It was weird listening to Leslie Frazier's press conference on the radio on Monday afternoon -- he sounds just like Tony Dungy. I don't know if he'll get the same results, though. Now that the Vikings are in the rear view mirror, I hope they play well and that ol' number 4 doesn't get seriously hurt. But I don't have a lot of inclination to care that much, either. It seems like the Vikings haven't won on the road since the Carter administration, so they'll lose again this week. But they'll probably play okay. Washington 24, Minnesota 21.

Glorious Green Bay Packers (+2) vs. Hotlanta Dirty Birds. Little known fact -- the last time the Packers played in Atlanta, they won behind the stellar play of Samkon Gado. No, really, it happened. That was back in 2005 when the Packers had their worst season in the last 20. Things look a lot different now. There's no Samkon Gado and the Falcons are a very different team, too. A good one, by the way. However, the Packers are playing like they did last year after that incident with the Creamsicles. Here's a bold prediction: Packers 27, Dirty Birds 24.

That is bold, Seasbiscuit. But I'm not sure that our boys can do it. I've been burned a few times picking against the Packers and probably should have learned. But I'm old and set in my ways, as my son is fond of pointing out. Hoping I'm wrong, but: Atlanta 31, Green Bay 24.

Yeah, I do not like Mounds View High School, so I'm probably a little harder on Adam Weber than some people are. But Adam Weber deserves better than what's he's had in his Gophers career. Ben out!


Gino said...

what? no Bears pick this week?

i'm feeling very left out here....

W.B. Picklesworth said...

Here, I'll pick it. The Bears will beat the Eagles 28-23. They will do this by forcing field goals and by making some big plays. Nevertheless, go Eagles! (Ugh, I think I just threw up in my mouth.)

Gino said...

oooh, i hope yer right, WB.
that would be the highest scoring game for us this year. given our offense, you must be expecting a pick-six or three for the bears.

our D, on the other hand... that we got.

Mr. D said...

Sorry, Gino -- since we picked the Thanksgiving games (poorly, I might add) we blew off the Bears. Assuming Benster is willing, we'll be more considerate about your needs going forward. Might be time to cue that R. Lee Ermey Geico commercial 'round about now.

I say Eagles 27, Bears 17. I'll see if Benster wants to weigh in....

Benster said...

Sorry we didn't pick the Bears, Gino. We usually ignore jackwagons like the Bears.

Eagles 35, Bears 27. Ben out!

Gino said...

ok, benster...
i hereby challenge you to another round of skee ball next time i'm in MN.

Brad Carlson said...

Dang, W.B. just about hit the nail on the head! The Eagles kicked four FGs in a 31-26 loss.