If you haven't seen it, go out and rent a copy of Billy Wilder's 1944 film noir masterpiece Double Indemnity. It's a great movie, with outstanding performances from Barbara Stanwyck, Edward G. Robinson and Fred MacMurray. What does that have to do with football? If you have to ask, you haven't been reading this feature too closely. Anyway, on with the picks!
Xavier Hawks 34, Winneconne Wolves 7. Our beloved Hawks had an easy time of it against Freedom last week. While I understand that Winneconne is lovely this time of year, the Blue and White don't tend to be very nice visitors.
ACTUAL RESULT: XAVIER 20, WINNECONNE 0. It turns out that in the six times these schools have played, Winneconne hasn't scored in five of the games. That's pretty counter-intuitive, since historically it's been Catholic school boys who have a hard time scoring.
Spring Lake Park Panthers 21, Irondale Knights 14. Unfortunately for the Knights, they end up playing the two toughest teams on their schedule to open. SLP should be strong again this year and while the Knights played them tough last year, it won't be easy to win on their opponent's field. The funny thing is, Irondale could easily run the table after this week.
ACTUAL RESULT: IRONDALE 21, SLP 14. Right score, wrong teams. I'm delighted to be wrong about this. The Knights look like they'll be pretty formidable after all.
Mounds View Mustangs 21, Stillwater Ponies 20. A horse is a horse, of course, of course, and these two teams have had some memorable battles over the years. Mounds View lost a heartbreaker last week and will be looking for redemption. Stillwater is down a bit from their glory years but still must be considered tough.
ACTUAL RESULT: MOUNDS VIEW 41, STILLWATER 10. Apparently these ponies were Pintos. Nice win for the Green, especially at what is historically a very tough place to win.
Fred MacMurray 31, Beloit Bucs 24. Oops, I think I got that wrong. Turns out Beloit is playing MacMurray College, a small school someplace in downstate Illinois. Don't know a thing about them, but I do know Beloit. And the smart money is always against my beloved Bucs. No word from Uncle Charley on this one.
ACTUAL RESULT: BELOIT 27, FRED MACMURRAY 17. Guess this was the Walter Neff verson of Fred MacMurray. I'm happy for the Bucs, who have been really struggling in recent years. Perhaps a return to blissful mediocrity is nigh?
Wisconsin Badgers 34, Marshall Thundering Herd 14. A few years ago this would have been a game. Not now - Marshall is down. The Badgers didn't exactly wipe the floor with Akron last week, but there's little reason to imagine that the Herd will put up much resistance this time around.
ACTUAL RESULT: WISCONSIN 51, MARSHALL 14. Bucky got off to a bad start but put up 51 unanswered points. That's not bad. Next week we'll find out if Bucky is any good or not - unlike Winneconne, Wisconsin, Fresno is not lovely this time of year.
Bowling Green Falcons 24, Minnesota Golden Gophers 21. We actually got a lot of traffic from puzzled visitors from the Daily Gopher last week after we picked the Gophers to win. Thanks for visiting, guys. But I saw the Gophs last week at the Dome and they weren't ready for prime time. Bowling Green is probably the class of the MAC. Unless Tim Brewster found a few d-backs wandering around Dinkytown this week, I'm afraid this won't end well.
ACTUAL RESULT: GOLDEN GOPHAS 42, BOWLING GREEN 17. Real progress. And by the way, Adam Weber is a very good quarterback.
Green Bay Packers 24, Purple Helmeted Love Warriors 14. I know, I know, the Viking fans have been telling me that it's ALL GOING TO BE DIFFERENT THIS YEAR. But here's the number they must deal with: 34. That was the point differential the last time these two teams met. If you are a Vikings fan, ask yourself this: have your heroes really made up all those points? My guess is that Aaron Rodgers will play well enough and that Adrian Peterson won't have a big game, especially with Bryant McKinnie in dry dock. Until the Vikings prove that Tarvaris Jackson can win a game, look for a lot of 8- and 9-man fronts. And remember, the Packers play defense pretty well.
ACTUAL RESULT: PACKERS 24, PURPLE 19. Yep - Aaron Rodgers did enough to win and T-Jack didn't. It may be different in November, but I suspect my beloved Packers have more upside than the Vikings do. Meanwhile, apparently we have to pay attention to the Munsters of the Midway after all....
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