Fearless Dilettante Football Predictions – Hang Down Your Head Tom Dooher Edition

Since Education Minnesota essentially controls the calendar in the month of October, I’m putting out a few picks now because of games that will be played this evening.

Hopkins Royals 42, Irondale Knights 35. An interesting non-conference game for the Knights, who face an explosive Hopkins squad. The game is at Hopkins, so I expect the Royals to prevail, but Irondale has been awfully good.

ACTUAL RESULT: HOPKINS 42, IRONDALE 24. Hopkins is really good, especially on their home field. That Classic Lake is a bizarre league - only 5 teams and 4 of them (Hopkins, Edina, Minnetonka and Wayzata) might be Top 10 caliber.

Cretin-Derham Hall Raiders 24, Mounds View Mustangs 14. Cretin is the reigning royalty in the Suburban East and is, as usual, loaded. The Mustangs have played very well since an opening loss to an excellent Woodbury team, but this is a real step up in class.

ACTUAL RESULT: CDH 33, MOUNDS VIEW 0. I'm guessing CDH will play for the championship this time around - Wayzata and Eden Prairie would be the other favorites. Meanwhile, Mounds View waits to see if it will be a 1 or 2 seed in its sectional. Whatever MV is, Irondale should be the other.

Waupaca Comets 24, Xavier Hawks 17. Just a hunch that the Hawks won't have enough against the league bully. Hope I'm wrong!

ACTUAL RESULT: WAUPACA 34, XAVIER 0. Guess they didn't. Next week it's hated Omro.

Beloit College Bucs 27, Illinois College Blueboys 17. Yes Virginia, the Blueboys. The term comes from the Civil War. The nickname for the Illinois College womens' teams is infinitely cooler: they are the Lady Blues. This is a team my beloved Buccos should beat, especially at home.

ACTUAL RESULT: IC 58, BELOIT 42. Ya see, to win football games, there's this thing called defense. Winning teams play it.

Wisconsin Badgers 24, Iowa Hawkeyes 14. Who knows about the Badgers any more? The last three weeks have been bad, worse and then catastrophic. Iowa City is usually a tough port of call for Bucky, but this year's Hawkeye squad just might be the one to get Kirk Ferentz fired.

ACTUAL RESULT: IOWA 38, BAD-GERS 16. Brett Bielema has a call in to Don Morton, asking about where he rented that coffin for his coaches' show. I don't think I've ever seen a season go off the rails this badly. Every other team in the Big 10 is playing some version of the spread offense. What do they know that the Badgers don't?

Gophers have a bye, so let's pick this game:

Mount Union Purple Raiders 74, Heidelberg Student Princes 0. Any school whose nickname is Student Princes deserves to get their butts beat. And perennial D-III power Mount Union is just the team to do it. No word on who the Amherst Lord Jeffs are playing, by the way.

ACTUAL RESULT: MOUNT UNION 49, HEIDELBERG 0. Not much else to say -- gotta love that D-III Ohio football.

Green Bay Packers 27, Indianapolis Colts 24. Probably being too optimistic on this, but it's my blog.

ACTUAL RESULT: PACKERS 34, COLTS 14. The most satisfying game of the year so far, by some measure. And now Aaron Rodgers gets a bye to rest that shoulder and get ready for a tough second half of the season.

Chicago "Focus of Evil in the Modern World" Bears 7, Purple Helmeted Love Warriors 2. Figure that Kyle Orton will be so busy stroking his porn star moustache that he'll inadvertently step out of the endzone like that guy for the Lions did last week. There's no reason to presume that the Viking offense will score in Soldier Field.

ACTUAL RESULT: BEARS 48, VIKINGS 41. I don't think I've ever been more wrong on a pick. The Vikings give up 48 points to da Bears? How's that Jared Allen thing workin' out for ya there, Purple fans?