Benster and D Pick Your Games -- Return to Seattle Edition

Just when you thought the Packers were done with Seattle, they have to go back to the noise and deal with Richard Sherman, who never met a microphone he did not want. The Packers are playing for a trip to Glendale and people are feeling the HYYYYYYPPPPPEEE!

Oh yeah. Time for a little theme music:

Old dude, that's just wretched. What the heck is that?

Perry Como. You don't know who Perry Como is? 

He should be named Perry Coma, because anyone who listens to that would probably lapse into a coma. This is a football feature. I think you're supposed to remember that. And that might be one of the worst earworms I've heard in a long time.

Glad to be of service.

You seem to have a very warped view of what service is. And I will take my revenge for that. But we'll have to leave that aside, because while I know it will be hard for you to keep your train of thought from derailing, it's time to pick these games. Now try to keep up. And yes, watch me work!

Indianapolis Colts (+6.5) vs. New England Patriots. I fooled you by talking about the other game going on this weekend after building up the Packer game. Very clever of me. This game is reminding me of the famous Brady/Manning duels in the playoffs in the middle of the 2000s, where New England dominated the Colts for the most part, though some Patriots fans are still upset about 2006. Andrew Luck is in charge now, and this is the biggest game in his young career. He has all the attributes to be the next Montana, but he needs to win in New England. Tom Brady has been in big games going back to the Tuck Rule Game, which was a questionable decision similar to the "Calvin Johnson" rule, which will be coming up later on, since Gino is still muttering about it a week later. I see you, Gino! New England, at least since 2009, has had a tendency to not win the big game, and it makes you wonder if the Kraft family should just sign Troy Brown, or Deion Branch or Lawyer Milloy, all players who helped Brady become the player he is. I expect a close game and the Colts can pull this one out because, if you remember, the man who really won Brady's first two titles is on the other sideline. Colts 24, Patriots 21.

I remember the last time these teams played. The Patriots destroyed the Colts behind a running back named Jonas Gray, who since then has apparently been in the federal witness protection program. The Colts dispatched Peyton Manning last week and apparently forced John Fox to Chicago in the process. That's pretty impressive. Winning in New England is a larger challenge, though. I think the Colts play better this time, but I don't think they have solved the riddle yet. And while you are correct about the crucial role that Adam Vinatieri played in those early days, he can't hurt his old team if he's on the sidelines. One last Super Bowl trip for Tom Brady. Patriots 35, Colts 23. 

Glorious Green Bay Packers (+7.5) vs. Seattle Seabags. The Packers won a tight contest against Dallas due to a questionable call on Dez Bryant late in the game. I know that Dallas fans (and Gino) are upset and I do not like the rule much myself, as it is a difficult call to make. That being said, the rule is clear and what people forget is that Sam Shields did tip the ball slightly, and he is not getting the credit I feel he deserves. Dez also was lucky again that he did not get flagged for unsportsmanlike conduct for being on the field sans helmet. But that's all in the past now. What happens in the Great Northwest? Seattle won the last matchup on Opening Night and it was not close. A couple things have changed. Percy Harvin is in NYC, which means that Pete "What's your deal?" Carroll lost his biggest playmaker. Another thing that should concern Seahawks fans and bandwagon fans is that Davante Adams has emerged as a legit receiving threat to complement Jordy Nelson and Randall Cobb. If Richard "I'm Better at Life than You." Sherman stays on one side of the field, he should know that Aaron has more confidence in the rookie and will throw him the ball. Eddie Lacy is a factor and I would run him right at Sherman and hopefully truck him a few times. I am nervous about this game, but you never know, and the Packers really have nothing to lose. Packers 12, Seattle 7.

I don't know about this one. The Packers have improved in a number of ways, but they also have a gimpy quarterback. Can they stop the run? Can they keep Rodgers upright? Can they keep Russell Wilson in the pocket? Can they pull themselves away from playing board games in the locker room? So many questions. The way I see it -- this game is about being physical. The Seahawks are nasty and like to hit you hard. And they are good at it. The Packers have to strike the first blow. Eddie Lacy is going to be a crucial factor in this game. If he goes for 100-125 yards, the Packers have a chance. The young fella is right that the way to attack Richard Sherman is to make him tackle some big running backs. The Packer offensive line is pretty good and has some nasty guys. They hold the key. I want to believe it will happen. I do, I do. But I have to be realistic. Seattle 27, Green Bay 21.

C'mon, old dude! You need to buck up a little! Get inspired! Swig some Geritol and get off the couch and ride! Consider this wisdom from one of your favorite movies -- sorry about the F-bomb in this clip, but we need motivation!

Those Germans were pretty sneaky.

You were in college then, right?

Not quite that old, really. 

Oops. That wasn't nice of me to say. Meanwhile, we should note that da Bearz have hired John Fox to be their new coach. How does a Fox coach a Bear? Better yet, answer this musical question, old dude!

My goodness -- that's worse than Perry Como!

I told you I'd take my revenge. Meanwhile, I should note that Ohio State now has at least three starting quarterbacks to deal with, since Cardale Jones is coming back. I've even heard that Art Schlichter wants another chance. So what will happen to Braxton Miller?

He can transfer to another school. How about Knox?

Great idea, old dude! He'll be delighted to play in the Midwest Conference, I'm sure. Nothing says big time football like taking a bus trip to Grinnell, Iowa. Seriously, you need to start taking your Geritol. No, I have a better idea. If Braxton Miller is unhappy about being replaced and he wants to really stick it to Urban Meyer, he can always come to Madison. It worked for Russell Wilson and I think Braxton would love to have a new challenge. Think about it, Braxton. Ben out!