Deep Gravy

Are you excited about this year's election cycle? Good for you if you are, because we need an engaged citizenry and there are any number of important issues facing the nation right now. We aren't talking about what really matters very much right now, but that doesn't change the importance of the issues.

And yet, I'm not feeling it. It's difficult to get very excited about the prospect of a Mitt Romney presidency, because my suspicion is that he's not going to do much beyond tinkering around the edges.

Increasingly the larger narrative of this race seems to be this: Barack Obama's campaign and presidency are clearly out of ideas and both appear to be, in the words of P. J. O'Rourke, dead but too dumb to lie down.

I don't dispute that there's certainly humor potential galore in the flailing:

It's the Obama Event Registry, and I know they are making fun of it over at Hot Air and Instapundit and all those right-wing places that attract the greedy sort of person who doesn't know what it means to truly bleed deep in your heart for the poor and suffering people of the world to whom Barack Obama will minister in his second term when he is finally free of the bonds of the electoral system. It is time to sacrifice — and to display to your friends and family how much you sacrifice — for the betterment of humankind. And if any of them are receiving presents for their wedding/anniversary/birthday, may they feel the shame and, in their weakness, may they know that you are a finer, truer liberal than they.

As Gino rightly points out, the Obamas aren't asking you forgo a gravy boat, but rather a gravy bowl, which in itself is a pretty good Freudian slip. I assume that potential second-term Obama HHS Secretary Michael Bloomberg would insist that any gravy receptacle hold no more than 16 ounces of the demon fluid, too.

But you know what? Those are cheap jokes. Too easy, too formulaic. A presidency that can be mocked that easily is circling the gravy bowl, so to speak. Perhaps the happy loving couples in the prospective gay marriage registries will be happy enough with the president's storied evolution on the matter to toss a few shekels at the Obama '12 campaign, so long as they don't have to give up the other kitchen gadgetry. This lovely example goes for $77.44 on the Amazon website, which should be enough to partially offset the cost of a 30-second attack ad about Mitt Romney's evil outsourcing ways on a late September newscast in Fort Wayne.

Remember, gravy is bad for you but Obama '12 will set you free

That would be change you can believe in, I suppose. And I'm certain the citizens of Fort Wayne will appreciate the sacrifice you made on their behalf. You can always put your gravy in a bowl.