Welcome to the Vaseline Dome

The roof is gone from the old joint and the lawsuits are now dismissed or moot. So what is left to do but start looking at the menu:

Minnesota Vikings fans will pay $500 to $9,500 per seat in the team’s new $1 billion stadium, set to open in 2016. That will be in addition to ticket prices that will run between $50 and $400 per game for season-ticket holders.

The personal seat licenses in the so-called stadium-builder license program are expected to net $100 million. That revenue will count as part of owner Zygi Wilf’s contribution to the construction.

The Vikings soon will begin contacting season-ticket holders — according to their Metrodome seat locations — to persuade them to buy the personal seat licenses.

The $500 fee will be for the seats that require a sherpa, while the seats you couldn't afford before are now really out of reach. But man, will the average fan miss out on something special:

The priciest seats will be on the lowest level: $9,500 for the license and a per-game ticket of $400. For the eight home games, that would be a total cost of $12,700 per seat for the first season.

Seats at that price will come with what fans may consider a priceless proximity: Those seated at the 50-yard line will be close enough to high-five Vikings players coming onto the field. 

No word on whether they'll throw in a bottle of Purell. But seriously, who wouldn't want to drop nearly 13 large for the chance to give Erin Henderson a high-five? Well, maybe not Erin Henderson. I would think that an enterprising criminal defense lawyer could snap up a seat and use the high five opportunity to hand out business cards.

Still, I wonder if Minnesotans who aren't math-challenged will go for this deal. If you were to go to 90 games and buy your tickets from StubHub, even if you ended up paying a $100 premium per ticket, you'd still be ahead of the game. And people who can afford the high-five seats are usually pretty good at math.

So what happens if the Vikings aren't successful in selling their licenses? Not to worry, we're assured:

[Michele] Kelm-Helgen pointed out that the team is responsible for the license program. If sales fail to produce the necessary $100 million, she said, the state has “ironclad agreements” that require the Vikings to make up the difference.

I hope so, because if we have learned anything about the Wilfs since they've come to town, they are very good at fighting off creditors.