Benster and D Pick Your Games -- Return of the HYYYYYYYYYYYYPPPPEEE! Edition

Old dude, it is time for another football season, where I unleash the hot takes and bring the HYYYYYYYYYYYYYPPPPPPPEEE! that other media types are too afraid to bring out.

There's no question -- you've got the hottest takes around. Skip Bayless is frightened of you.

And he should be, Geritol Fan! These hot takes include adding my personal views, which have not made we welcome on fall Saturday afternoons in the state university of Ohio, but I was put on double secret probation about 4 years ago.

I remember it well.

Remember -- fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, old dude! You should realize that by now. It is time to get down to bidness. Watch me work!

Minnesota Golden Flecks (+2.5) vs. Oregon State Beavers. The Gophers began the P.J. Fleck Experience last Thursday and did not really answer a whole lot of questions. They struggled against Buffalo, and now have to travel halfway across the country to face Oregon State. The Beavers are a lower level PAC 12 outfit, but because of the late start time here in the Midwest, and considering that Fleck still does not know who his quarterback is, this could get interesting fast. Beavers 24, Row the Boaters 18.

Hey look -- it's former Badger coach Gary Andersen, hanging out in the Witness Protection Program in Corvallis! If you need to hide, it's a great spot. No one will find him there. Having said that, the Gophers are not exactly a frightening juggernaut heading west. I think the first hole in the dinghy gets administered tomorrow. Oregon State 27, Minnesota 22.

Florida Atlantic Owls (+33) vs. Beloved Wisconsin Badgers. This game almost did not go off as scheduled because of the danger of Hurricane Irma, but thankfully FAU got out of there just fine. New Owl head coach Lane Kiffin is going to be one of the most watched new coaching hires in the country, and he has a lot of work to be done. The Badgers fought off an ambush by Utah State last week, but Wisconsin righted the ship on the stroke of halftime and rolled home. FAU will be well coached, but the gulf in class combined with the understandable distractions this week mean that the Badgers should be just fine. Badgers 52, Owls 17.

Kiffin brought in a bunch of transfers and ne'er-do-wells from other schools. There's talent on their sideline, but not a lot of cohesion. Bucky will roll. Badgers 55, FAU 10.

Oklahoma Sooners (+7.5) vs. A School in Columbus Buckeyes. This game is going to tell us a lot about the two head coaches, and how they will manage the increased expectations. For Urban Meyer, he has all the pressure on him, since his charges blew out Oklahoma in Norman a year ago, and are a favorite for winning the Big Ten. However, Meyer has only won 1 conference title, and if not for beating Michigan all the time and winning a national championship with players he might not have chosen to start recruiting, he has to win games like this right now with his players. New Oklahoma head coach Lincoln Riley has much less pressure to win, because he is the new coach, and will get a bit of a grace period this year. The Buckeyes (Who lost to Penn State, but got a free pass for it) are on upset alert because they struggled against Indiana, and Oklahoma has a very good passing game. Oklahoma 49, Ohio State 31.

I think it's a shoot-out. But I think it goes the other way. Ohio State 49, Oklahoma 31.

New Orleans Saints (+3) vs. Minnesota Vikings. The Vikings are a team that flamed out in epic fashion a year ago after starting 5-0 and missing the playoffs. What this tells me is that Mike Zimmer has burned a lot of the goodwill that he earned two years ago, and that the Vikings need to be more consistent if they want to make NFL history in the winter. New Orleans will have the quick strike offense that they are known for, and you know that Adrian Peterson wants to get on over on his former team. This game is going to be filled with a lot of points, and if it goes the way I think, Zimmer will have a real job on his hands. Saints 65, Vikings 25.

Uh, no. Saints won't score 65. But they might score 40. Can the Vikings keep up? Based on the available evidence, not likely. Saints 31, Vikings 17.

Seattle Seachickens (+3) vs. Glorious Green Bay Packers. For the Packers, this game is one that is going to be full of nerves, as well as a sign if they will turn the Super Bowl into Lambeau West. Seattle is going to be a very tough opponent, but the Packers know that and have added a couple of new weapons for Aaron to play with. This game will have points, and should be close for much of the game, but Russell Wilson does not play well in Green Bay, and if Aaron Rodgers can hit Bennett on a long pass early, then Seattle will be in trouble. Packers 35, Seachickens 24.

The key to this game will be to make sure a hot dog vendor is stationed close to Eddie Lacy. You can get plenty of sausages in all varieties in Green Bay. The offensive line gets a test, but I think it holds up. Packers score and win. Packers 31, Seattle 21.

English Premier League: Everton FC (NL) vs. Tottenham Hotspur. As some of our readers might be aware, I support Everton as my soccer team of choice, while the Old Dude supports Tottenham. Spurs have not looked so good, especially at their temporary home Wembley, while my beloved Toffees have looked decent, though with the amount of money spent this summer on signings, you would expect a bit more. I know that with 40,000 Blues supporters backing the team, it will be very difficult for Spurs to get a win, and I will take a draw or better. Everton 2, Tottenham 1. 

How about worse? COYS. Spurs 3, Everton 1.

Have a good football weekend and enjoy the games, and be sure to donate to help the folks down in Texas or Florida. Ben out!