Benster and D Pick Your Games----Row That Boat Axe Chili Hot Edition

Old dude, we're in Madison, but the game is in Minneapolis. What were you thinking about?

Huh? Can't hear you over the storm.

Well, you can't say no to the family, and Fleck would say that you row the boat through the snow. Of course, he has bigger things to worry about.

Yeah, I suppose he does.

The Gopher fans are feeling the HYYYYYYYYPPPEEE!, and it is time to watch me work.

Beloved Wisconsin Badgers (-2.5) vs. Minnesota Golden Elite Rowers of the Boat That line makes no sense to me, and I would have flipped it around. It turns out that P.J. Fleck can coach, and this is a massive game. This game is so important, that Fleck needs to outsource his pregame speech. Tim Brewster, is that chili hot?

 The winner gets to be a sacrificial lamb to A School in Columbus, but you still want to win. The storm will make things more difficult for the underrated Tanner Morgan as well as the underrated Jack Coan. I would not be surprised to see the Gophers win this game, but the thing is that in rivalry games, you look at the senior class. Wisconsin has the more accomplished senior class, winning 3 bowl games, including two straight New Years Six bowl games. Wisconsin also is a run heavy team, which the Gophers have struggled with at times. The Gophers may be an amazing story, but sometimes the bad guy gets to win. Badgers 24, Gophers 21.

Weather. Here's the early forecast for the game:

Or was it this?

Either way, Lee Corso is gonna hate it. If it's just sloppy, advantage Gophers. If it's worse, advantage Badgers. Gophers 17, Badgers 16.

Glorious Green Bay Packers (-6.5) vs. New York Football Giants  Last week was a disaster for the Packers, but the good news is that the schedule gets easier for them for a few weeks. The Giants are a team that quite frankly doesn't look good. The worrying thing is that this is a long flight, and the Packers struggle with long flights. The Packers should be fine and cruise home to a comfortable win, and can put the pressure back on the Vikings to match. Packers 35, All Hail The New York Giants 17.

We ran the Madagascar clip before, so we'll dispense with that. Packers need this one. They'll get it. Packers 28, Giants 13.

Minnesota Vikings (+2.5) vs. Seattle Seachickens The Vikings on the other hand are facing a more difficult opponent and a stadium that they could not conquer last year. Vikings fans generally seem happy with Cousins, but this is the type of game that the narrative says he doesn't win. The narrative is that Cousins can't beat winning teams, can't win on the road, and can't win on national television. I think the narrative is unfair, but I didn't start it. Seattle needs this game because they are hot on the tails of the 49ers. In this game, I go with the desperate team at home theory, which usually makes sense. Seahawks 14, Vikings 8.

The Vikings might be better than the Packers overall, but winning in Seattle on a Monday night ain't happening. Seahawks 20, Vikings 17.

Be safe in the storm. Also, be on the lookout for an Axe in Minnesota or Wisconsin. Ben out,

Benster and D Pick Your Games----1990s Flashback Edition

Old dude, this might be the first time since the 1990s that the Packers and the 49ers will have a sustained rivalry. It's just better for the league to have both teams at their best.

The Rams and the Vikings might disagree.

Wait, does anyone care what they think?

There's at least one person in this house who cares.

Good point.

Sometimes I know a few things.

I'll let that pass. Speaking of the Vikings, they are on bye this week, so we might be running out of games for a while to discuss.

Can you make do with less?

Sure, but I maximize the HYYYYYYYPPPPEEE!, and it's time to watch me work.

Minnesota Golden Elite Rowers Of The Boat (-13.5) vs. Northwestern Wildcats One week after winning their most important victory in who knows how long, the Gophers lost a game in Iowa City that puts all of their goals in jeopardy. P.J. Fleck can spout all of his sayings out, but he certainly did not help his team. The penalty for running out onto the field to yell at the refs gave Iowa 15 extra yards, and was not #Elite. I also think he should have kicked the field goal instead of passing on that fateful down, as well as managing the clock better in the 4th quarter. This game against Northwestern is a trap game waiting to happen if the Gophers aren't careful. The Wildcats are always a tough out, but thankfully for P. J. they save all of their annoying tendencies for the Badgers. Even if Tanner Morgan can't go, the Gophers should survive and advance. Gophers 31, Wildcats 10.

Northwestern doesn't have a lot left this year. Injuries galore and they weren't deep to start with. Pat Fitzgerald will have them back in the hunt soon enough, but tomorrow they don't have much chance. Gophers 24, Wildcats 13.

Purdue Boilermakers (+24.5) vs. Beloved Wisconsin Badgers Thanks to events in Iowa City mean that the Badgers now have their path in front of them. Last week was not a pretty win by any means, but you can't argue with the results. Purdue is a team that has been shredded by injuries all year, and are not likely to get much help back on offense. The Badgers need a good defensive game, because winning the Axe back will require near perfection. I expect to see a comfortable win by the Badgers to make sure that JT and the seniors get a better farewell than last year's group of seniors. Badgers 35, Boilermakers 14.

This could get ugly. Purdue is missing most of their best players. The Badgers are not. And the Badgers have better players anyway. Badgers 42, Boilermakers 10.

Glorious Green Bay Packers (+3.5) vs. San Francisco 49ers  The Packers got a great win before the bye week against Carolina, and are fully rested and ready to go to the Bay Area. The winner of this game should claim home field advantage, so a win will be critical. The Niners have looked loose in the turns the past couple of weeks, and don't seem to be that invincible anymore.If the Packers want to win, they have to tighten up on defense, and will need to play very well. I think we can do that, but this game won't be easy. Packers 27, Niners 23.

This one isn't complicated. Block the 49ers pass rushers and the Packers will win. If they don't, they lose. I think they get 'em blocked. Packers 20, 49ers 14.

New York Football Giants (+6.5) vs. Bear Down Chicago Da Bearz Still Suck This game is going to be a dumpster fire. If you get stuck watching this game and you don't have a rooting interest or fantasy football interest, then I seriously suggest watching something else. Both teams are offensively challenged, and somewhere Wellington Mara and Papa Bear Halas are looking down in disgust. At least neither of these teams are bumbling for Joe Burrow or Tanking for Tua. Da Bearz Still Suck 7, Giants 4.

Obligatory:

The Bears might like Tua, actually. He also might drop in the draft far enough to take him. Would they, though? Interesting question. As for this game, uh, let's just say this isn't 1985. But that's always true for the Bears. Bears 20, Giants 13.

Enjoy your football this weekend. Ben out.

Ambassador Sondland, he presumes

I haven't spent much time on the impeachment hearings because it's the same thing every day:

1. Witness implicates Trump in something nefarious in opening statement
2. Republicans ask questions that reveal nothing nefarious actually happened
3. Newscasts show opening statement
4. Lather, rinse, repeat

But for the record, Gordon Sondland, actually spoke to Trump, unlike most of the other witnesses who didn't actually witness anything. And if you read the headlines, you see he says there was the dreaded quid pro quo. But if you read further, you find out, well. . . .

"Is that your testimony today, Ambassador Sondland, that you have evidence that Donald Trump tied the investigations to the aid? Because I don't think you're saying that." Rep. [Mike] Turner asked.

"I said repeatedly [...] I was presuming," Sondland noted.

After some more grilling, Congressman Turner asked again, "Is it correct, nobody else on this planet told you that Donald Trump was tying this aid to the investigations? Because if your answer is yes, then the chairman's wrong and the headline on CNN is wrong. No one this planet told you that President Trump was tying aid to investigations, yes or no?"

"Yes," Sondland replied.

"So, you've really have no testimony today that ties President Trump to a scheme to withhold aid from Ukraine in exchange for these investigations?" Turner asked.

"Other than my own presumption," Sondland said. 

"Which is nothing," Turner responded.

Presumption. Hey, being presumptuous isn't a bad thing, so long as it's in the service of whatever agenda the odious Adam Schiff is currently pursuing. And yet we're likely to have Trump impeached over this crap show, unless the focus group data says otherwise. We can stipulate until the cows come home that Trump is someone many people find distasteful. But that doesn't mean he's done anything wrong.

Is he serious, though?

I read plenty of righties who are worried that Bill Barr is going to pull his punches when it's time to drop the IG report and unleash his prosecutor John Durham. Is Barr really a swamp creature?

A lot of swamp creatures certainly hope so. But if this observation from Barr has any meaning, the game will be changing soon:

In any age, the so-called progressives treat politics as their religion.  Their holy mission is to use the coercive power of the state to remake man and society in their own image, according to an abstract ideal of perfection.  Whatever means they use are therefore justified because, by definition, they are a virtuous people pursing a deific end.  They are willing to use any means necessary to gain momentary advantage in achieving their end, regardless of collateral consequences and the systemic implications.  They never ask whether the actions they take could be justified as a general rule of conduct, equally applicable to all sides.

They never ask because the Left counts on the Right to go all Marquess of Queensbury on the deal. "We're better than that," like that. Well kids, we don't have that luxury. And I disagree that what is being sought here is a momentary advantage. They are playing for keeps. Adam Schiff may look like an unholy amalgam of Charlie Brown and Marty Feldman, but operationally he's a straight-up Lavrentiy Beria. Barr seems to understand what motivates the Schiffs of the world, but he'd better damn well start dealing with them in kind. The boot is inches over our throats.

Benster and D Pick Your Games---Talk To Your Kids About An Undefeated Minnesota Edition

Old dude, the Golden Elite Rowers of the Boat made me eat more crow last weekend. This might be happening.

Bon appetit!

Have some!

The lime slices really add to the flavor, you know.

Thanks for the tip there, Galloping Gourmet! Gophers also got screwed over by the committee. That sound you heard earlier was me starting to grind my axe. I've got words for them, and I have to set the record straight.

Will I need a hazmat suit?

You always need a hazmat suit, old dude.

Hard to argue with you there, grasshopper.

They are feeling the HYYYYYYYYYPPPEE!, in Dinkytown, and it is time to watch me work.


Minnesota Golden Elite Rowers of the Boat (+2.5) vs. Iowa Hawkeyes. Before I unleash, how in the world are the Gophers an underdog? That makes no sense. Last week, the Gophers had a successful plan in place, and looked very strong against a good Penn State squad. I thought Tanner Morgan in particular looked very impressive, and credit belongs to Row the Boat and his staff for focusing on football instead of selling oar branded merchandise at Goldy's Locker Room. Before I get to what I think about the game, it's time for a Very Special Comment.

I understand that the committee has a tough job in ranking teams, and it will always be an inexact science. The Gophers not being ahead of LSU, A School In Columbus, and Clemson is fair. Heck, if they were ranked 5th behind an undefeated Baylor it would at least make sense to me. In what sense can they honestly defend ranking them at 8? The Gophers haven't lost a game, whereas Utah, Oregon, Alabama, and Georgia all lost one game. What is really stupid is that Alabama and Georgia are ahead of the Gophers. The SEC fan dancers in the media always like to go on and on about how their league is so superior to other leagues. Well, the SEC plays 8 conference games and freely allows their schools to schedule cupcake games in November. The Big Ten has strongly limited FCS schedules, and mandates 9 conference games. Georgia lost to a bang average South Carolina team at HOME and they are somehow the 4th best team in the land? Seriously? Then there is the Alabama Crimson Tide. Alabama is a team that lost at HOME to LSU, and all week long I've heard Alabama and SEC sycophants like Paul Finebaum try and excuse the loss because of Tua being injured. I'm sorry, but that is a lazy excuse. Tua was clearly healthy enough to play, and if Alabama had won everyone would have praised Tua to no end as being cowboy tough while waxing poetic about how Nick Saban is a coaching god.

Let's get one thing straight, the SEC always gets the built in advantages of having to play almost all of their games in the South, and the Big Ten always has to play the biggest games of the year in the SEC turf. All of the major bowl games are in the South and West, and the Big Ten never gets thrown a bone. How come semifinal games are never played in Chicago, Minneapolis, Green Bay, Indy, Cleveland, Cincy, or Detroit? All of those cities have quality venues that would be great hosts. All those venues in the North have football fields that are regulation sized, and the NFL will play important playoff games in the North without batting an eye, and nobody complains about them awarding Super Bowls to locations in the North. If college football is such a national game, then why is the north shut out from hosting games that matter in the playoff? You bet your butt that the SEC would complain if it was the other way around. If anyone that I called out wants to debate me, or if ESPN wants to have me on as a guest, I'm ready to debate the issue anytime of the day. College football was thriving long before the SEC was relevant, and always will thrive regardless of how well the SEC is doing.

Boy, I needed to get that out of my system. This game is interesting for the Gophers, because Iowa played very tough in Camp Randall last week. The Hawkeyes have a reputation for pulling upsets against ranked teams at Kinnick. I think the Gophers can win, but this game could go the other way. Row Row Row Your Boat Elitely 24, Hawkeyes 21.

You had your Wheaties for that one, didn't ya? Righteous rage becomes you, Seabiscuit. I'm not so sure people really want to see college football playoff games in Green Bay, but one could certainly take place at the People's Stadium, or Ford Field, or Lucas Oil Stadium. The Fargodome may not get the nod, either, but there you go. As for the game. . . the Gophers are feeling more and more like the 1993 Badgers, the team that finally broke through. Iowa City is a tough place, especially at this time of year. But if the Gophers are going to have their year, it has to continue tomorrow. I think it will. Gophers 31, Iowa 21.

Beloved Wisconsin Badgers (-14) vs. Nebraska Cornhuskers. The Badgers had a narrow escape last week, but still are the fox to the Gopher hound. Nebraska is a team that is a long way off from where it was hoped they be. I think Scott Frost is the right man for the job, because he will be given the time he needs, based on his background as a Nebraska legend and his national championship at UCF. This game won't be easy because Lincoln is a tough place to play, and Nebraska can play without worrying about the results in Iowa City. Badgers 31, Cornhuskers 21.

UCF national champions? You need an asterisk the size of Alpha Centauri for that one, young fella. Badgers still have goals this season and Nebraska is not currently built to slow those goals. I have more confidence in the Badgers than you do. Badgers 38, Nebraska 17.

Denver Broncos (+10.5) vs. Minnesota Vikings. The Vikings kept pace with the Packers last week with a very impressive performance in Jerry World. They can gain half a game in the division thanks to the Packers being on bye this week. Denver is a team that has talent, but quite frankly has not been a good outfit. The strange thing is that they are not that far away in the AFC West, and with some results could steal the division in the middle of the night. I expect the Vikings to have a routine win at home, and go into the bye week in a comfortable place. Vikings 28, Broncos 7.

John Elway was a great quarterback, but he's no good at picking quarterbacks. The Broncos have a strong defense, but I don't see them getting much done on Sunday, either. Bet the under. Vikings 20, Broncos 3.

Bear Down Chicago Da Bearz Still Suck (+6.5) vs. Los Angeles Rams. Both of these teams have been humongous letdowns. Who would have thought that the Bears would take a step back after playing a Charmin UltraSoft schedule last year, and actually playing real teams this year? The Rams have been a joke, and are going to pay the piper for that awful Goff contract. Both these teams are wastes of talent, and at least this game won't be a horrible brawl like the last primetime game. When in doubt, go with the desperate team at home theory. Rams 50, Bears Blew a 20-0 Lead to the Packers 0.

Did you mean this bear?

Giggling

All's fair in cheap shots, I suppose. The Bears still need to figure out the quarterback situation. I'd suggest they don't talk to John Elway. Meanwhile, Rams are in deep kimchi as well, but they still have a chance. The hour grows short, however. Rams 24, Bears 16.

I can't wait to see what excuses that the committee will dream up with to screw over the Gophers next week, but the old dude and I are both certain Ruff Ruffman Paul Finebaum is on the case. Ben out.

Standard setting

Mike Quigley, a congressman from Illinois, said this:

"I think the American public needs to be reminded that countless people have been convicted on hearsay because the courts have routinely allowed and created needed exceptions to hearsay," Quigley, a Democrat from Illinois, said to close his questioning of Kent and Taylor. "Hearsay can be much better evidence than direct, as we have learned in painful instances and it's certainly valid in this instance."

I was told Mike Quigley enjoys sex with barnyard animals. It's hearsay, but do you have better evidence it's not true?

Won't be missed

Good news:

Dean Lotter, 49, is unconcerned with the approaching Minnesota winter. He’ll be gone by Thanksgiving.

The New Brighton city manager has accepted a job running Eureka, a coastal city of 27,000 in northern California.

This guy is one of the most sanctimonious weasels I've encountered in local politics. Although his position is supposed to be non-political, he is political to the core, to the detriment of the citizenry. I will get back to this topic later this week.

Benster and D Pick Your Games---Row That Boat Edition

Old dude, the Golden Elite Rowers of the Boat claim that they are for real. Well, they will be tested against Penn State.

I know a boat you can get on.

Always with the show tunes with you, Geritol Fan! So distracting. Anyway, back to the topic at hand. Let's see if Gopher Nation is going to get over that Gameday didn't come here, and instead went to the Alabama-LSU "Game of the Century", which is not even the game of the year.

It's not difficult to understand why they went there:

Lee Corso wants to stay warm

That's cold, old dude.

Some day you'll understand.

I'm feeling the HYYYYYYYYPPPPEEE!, and it is time to watch me work.

Penn State Nittany Lions (-6.5) vs. Minnesota Golden Elite Rowers of the Boat.  So, this is the biggest home game for the Gophers since 2003. If you remember, the Gophers blew a huge lead to Michigan back then, and they didn't ever recover under Glenn Mason. There is a lot of excitement around these parts, but this is the first real opponent that the Gophers have faced, and people forget that they narrowly escaped a loss 3 times outside of league play. Penn State has big game experience, and will not be overawed by the environment. The biggest advantage that Penn State has is that they will be in football mode strictly, whereas the Gophers have to listen to the local media hype them up as contenders. It's too early to think about the playoff or Pasadena, because the Gophers will get exposed badly. The Gophers have not won a big game in years, and until he proves me wrong, P.J. Fleck is still a snake oil salesman who only cares about himself and his brand. Penn State 35, Capsize Your Boat Elitely 10.

It's a nice brand, though. You may be right. I think it's close, because the Gophers have improved, but Penn State has seen this before. Penn State 28, Gophers 20.

Iowa Hawkeyes (+8.5) vs. Beloved Wisconsin Badgers This game is going to be a lot closer than you may think. Iowa and Wisconsin have always played very close, and this game matters in the Big Ten West. It's not a guarantee that the Gophers are going to go to Indianapolis, despite Gopher homer and Gophers approved KFAN commentator Justin Gaard's protestations. The Badgers haven't been playing well lately, but they are historically a very good team in November when coming back in the division. Iowa will be a tough out, because history tells us that. Badgers 24, Iowa 17.

I actually listen to Barreiro's show when I'm driving home from work and, oddly enough, the Gophers have only been getting moderate levels of hype. And, not surprisingly, the Badgers and the Hawkeyes aren't a topic this week. Bucky and Iowa both have had a week to nurse their wounds. Game is in Camp Randall and that should be enough. Wisconsin 21, Iowa 10.

The 131st Bronze Turkey Bowl: Knox College Prairie Fire (NL) vs. Monmouth College Scots This is by far the most important rivalry game happening this weekend. My beloved Prairie Fire are venturing onto Monmouth's home turf, for the legendary Bronze Turkey Bowl game. Take it from me, a totally unbiased source. I am a proud Knox alum, and Monmouth College is our biggest rival. We might not be very good at sports, but we did host Abraham Lincoln once. I wrote this blog post, and Monmouth College gave me a degree in English with highest honors and named me valedictorian. Knox 49, Monmouth 0.

They are generous at Monmouth. But the nasty Scots also kick Knox's butt in football every year. And this year will be no exception. Monmouth 49, Knox 20.

Minnesota Vikings (+2.5) vs. Dallas How Bout Them Cowboahs? So the Vikings are heading into Jerry World to take on the Cowboys in a pretty good game. Adam Thielen is going to miss this game due to injury, which sucks for the Vikings. The biggest culprit in last week's loss for the Vikings was a bad shank of a punt, that made it easier for the Chiefs to walk off as winners. What the Vikings need to do is to jump on the Cowboys and force them to pass. It worked for the Packers last month, and that should be the recipe. If the Vikings lose this game, they would have to make up a likely 2 game deficit on the Packers, and would be looking at winning three road playoff games in the playoffs. Cowboys 31, Vikings 17.

I don't trust either of these teams. Kirk Cousins struggles in prime time, but this time the good Cousins shows up. Vikings 28, Cowboys 24.

Carolina Panthers (+4.5) vs. Glorious Green Bay Packers The Packers had a terrible performance last week in California, but thankfully everyone else in the division lost. Carolina has improved under Kyle Allen, who honestly has some talent. I remember him being good as a Texas A&M Aggie and a Houston Cougar. The Packers are going to have to avoid looking ahead to two weeks down the line in the Bay Area. The Packers just need to play better and get back to what makes them good. Packers 35, Panthers 24.

Christian McCaffrey scares me. A lot. The Packers will have to outscore the Panthers. Fortunately, they will. Packers 41, Panthers 31.

Enjoy your football weekend, and be safe if you are going out hunting this weekend. Ben out.

Miller time

Marvin Miller didn't play baseball, but it would be difficult to think of anyone who was a more consequential figure in the baseball world in the last 50 years. Miller was the head of the Major League Baseball Players Association from 1966 through 1982, but his influence went well beyond his tenure. He was instrumental in bringing the end of the reserve clause and the start of free agency, and baseball salaries increased exponentially as a result of his leadership. He changed the game. And the powers that be hated him.

Marvin Miller

Miller is one of 10 candidates for the Hall of Fame that the Veterans Committee will consider next month, along with nine "Modern Era" players, including the following:

Dwight Evans
Steve Garvey
Tommy John
Don Mattingly
Thurman Munson
Dale Murphy
Dave Parker
Ted Simmons
Lou Whitaker

I saw all of these guys play; the only one I didn't see in person was Garvey, but he was one of the most prominent players of the era and he was on television all the time, especially during his time with the Dodgers. Do you think of any of these guys as worthy of the Hall?

At this point, all of them probably deserve a look, especially if Harold Baines is the standard. If I had a ballot and could pick four, I'd pick Miller and then Whitaker, Simmons, and Murphy. Munson was a fine player, but he was already in decline as a player when he died in a plane crash. Garvey was a good offensive player, but he was a poor defensive first baseman. Evans and Parker strike me as classic examples of very good players who didn't do enough to merit consideration. Mattingly was a great player but his career ended too soon because of injuries. I think John has a fairly strong case, but no stronger than Jim Kaat, who is also on the outside looking in.

There aren't a lot of second basemen in the Hall and Whitaker is probably the best one not there, although you could also make an argument for Bobby Grich. Whitaker's double play partner, Alan Trammell, is already in the Hall and deservedly so. Whitaker and Trammell might be the best overall double play combo of all time. Whitaker also had surprising power for a middle infielder, with 244 career homers. He also won three Gold Gloves. That's a Hall of Fame career.

Simmons got lost because he played his career in the shadow of Johnny Bench, but in his best seasons he was Bench's equal. A switch hitting catcher who was a career .285 hitter with power, Simmons was the face of the Cardinals in one of their few lean periods, but he was also a key member of the only Brewers team to appear in a World Series. If I had to choose between Simmons and Munson, it would be no contest.

Murphy won back-to-back MVP awards in the 1980s and was a perennial Gold Glove outfielder. He also hit 398 home runs in his career, although in a favorable hitter's park (Atlanta Fulton County Stadium, a/k/a the Launching Pad). If you think of the best players in the National League in that era, he has to be on the list. Parker was his contemporary and played on better teams, but wasn't as consistent.

What do you think?

Benster and D Pick Your Games -- Trash Big Ten Edition

Old dude, there is a disturbing lack of Big Ten quality games this week. What gives?

Instead of scheduling the Citadel and Furman like the SEC does, the B1G has byes. And this week could go bye-bye for sure.

I blame the schedule makers, they want us to watch other leagues.

I blame Furman.

You should blame someone else.

Like this guy?

Fetch!

Old dude, that's Ruff Ruffman -- he was on some PBS kids thing when Maria was little.

Oops. I thought it was Paul Finebaum.

It's obvious you weren't paying attention.

It should be equally obvious why I wasn't paying attention.

Good point. Either way, so many crappy games makes it hard to feel the HYYYYYYPPPPPEEE!, but a man has to do what a man has to do. Watch me work.

Georgia Bulldogs (-6) vs. Florida Gators, in Jacksonville The World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party is a game that we normally wouldn't pick, but the dearth of games makes it slightly appealing. Both teams come in with a loss both overall and in league play, so this game will impact not only the SEC picture, but the national picture as well. Georgia has the worst loss, to South Carolina at home. Say what you will about the Badgers losing at Memorial Stadium, that was a road game. I haven't seen much of the Gators, but me thinks that Georgia should win. Georgia 35, Florida 24.

If you're gonna talk cocktails, you really ought to bring some. I don't know. I guess Georgia is better. Georgia 31, Florida 19.

Everton FC (NL) vs. Tottenham Hotspur Because the slate of football games sucks this weekend, we have to pick the Premier League match that involves my beloved Everton against the old dude's beloved Spurs. Everton won our League Cup tie against Watford at home on Tuesday, taking the pressure off Marco Silva. Spurs haven't looked great either, and lost last weekend to Liverpool at that evil place named Anfield. Both teams have been kinda crap lately, and this has all the looks of a draw that will help nobody, and both sets of supporters can have a moan. Everton 3, Tottenham 1.

Crap is the operative word. But when you're dealing with crap, choose the one with the better pedigree. Spurs 2, Everton 0.

Minnesota Vikings (NL) vs. Kansas City Chiefs The reason there is no line is because we are not sure about Patrick Mahomes and his injury status. The Chiefs hung in there against the Packers, but could not finish the job last week. The Vikings are coming in red hot, and are aiming to keep the pressure on the Packers. This game will not be easy, but the Vikings can win this one. Honestly, it could go either way. Vikings 28, Chiefs 24.

Why yes. Yes it could. Kirk "Kirktober" Cousins is overdue to cough up a hairball. Chiefs 28, Vikings 20.

Glorious Green Bay Packers (-3.5) vs. Los Angeles Chargers The Chargers have no fan base in LA, which means there will be many Packers fans attending this game. It's awesome that Dean Spanos has to see his team play road games at home because he couldn't realize that screwing over loyal fans in San Diego to make a quick buck was not a good move. This game is probably going to be a shootout between Rodgers and Phillip Rivers, because that is the script of other games in the past when these two greats lock horns. This game could be difficult, but I expect the Packers can gut it out. Packers 56, Go Back to San Diego 41.

Bet the over, you say? Won't be that high scoring, but I agree on the victor. Packers 34, Chargers 20.

Bear Down Chicago Da Bearz Still Suck (+4) vs. Philadelphia Eagles. I would have picked this game earlier, but Matt Nagy didn't trust me to and had me take a knee before sending me out to try a field goal. This is a rematch of the infamous Double Doink game, where Bears fans blamed Cody Parkey instead of acknowledging that the Bears lucked out last year and played a Charmin UltraSoft schedule. In fact, we have video evidence of the Double Doink:

The Eagles are in no great shape because they let Nick Foles walk, which was a stupid decision. He was the better quarterback than Wentz, and did nothing to lose his job. That mistake will haunt them forever. I expect the Bears will lose on a missed field goal again, because the football gods love seeing that happen again. Eagles 16, Da Bearz Still Suck and Blew a 20 point lead to the Packers 15.

I have a hunch the Bears bounce back. No reason other than why the hell not. Bears 24, Eagles 21.

Never forget that the Bears blew a 20 point lead to the Packers after they knocked Aaron Rodgers out of the game. Ben out!

Don't bother, they're here

There ought to be clowns, we are told. Lots of them. Items to note:

• I know I’ve said this before, but it’s been obvious from the jump why this particular Schiff-scented impeachment confection had to take place at this time. While I expect IG Horowitz to pull his punches again, Durham won’t. The entire point of the charade is to allow the Democrats to characterize the Durham investigation as revenge, rather than the pursuit of justice.
• Angie Craig and Dean Phillips must have looked at the polls and decided this faux impeachment vote won’t hurt them. Perhaps they’re right; suburbia is filled with minivan Mensheviks and Bad Orange Man offends a lot of sensibilities in places like Eden Prairie and Eagan. Craig in particular may feel the wind is at her back since Jason Lewis is gunning for Tina Smith instead, but she’s still gonna get challenged. 
• Collin Peterson voted against impeachment. He’s looking at the polls, too. Prediction: if this blows up on the Democrats and yet Peterson still survives, he’ll cross the aisle in 2021, especially if the House flips. It may be his only way to survive.
• Speaking of worried Democrats, you may also have noticed that Barack Obama spoke out recently against “cancel culture.” This isn’t a matter of intellectual bravery or principled liberalism, to the extent principled liberalism is even possible at this particular hour. Obama’s stance is really about something else: he’s seen the Lion King and knows what happened to Scar. He’s already getting “OK Boomer” sneers from some quarters and he knows the revolutionaries he nurtured are now coming of age. And they may come for him soon enough.

Question for the audience

Technical question, actually:

• Do you use an ad blocker?
• If you don't, do you see ads on my blog?

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Let me know -- I'm curious about this.

Worth remembering

“The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function.”

                                                                   -- F. Scott Fitzgerald

In practice:

1. Some things Donald Trump do are counterproductive at best.
2. Donald Trump has been wronged countless times since he came down the escalator in 2015.

Or, if you'd prefer:

1. Donald Trump is not the sort of person you'd want to be president in an ideal world.
2. We don't live in an ideal world and the current batch of Democrats are uniformly horrible people who should have no power, ever.

Benster and D Pick Your Games---Vikings Win Edition

Old dude, the Vikings won, and people are still complaining?

Yep. Apparently a lot of Vikings fans bet the over or something. I heard a bunch of moaning about Zimmer's 4th and 1 call in the game. It's not as though the Redskins were going to score, so I don't get it.

It's like they want Zimmer gone. Maybe Brad Childress could give Zimmer a ride to MSP.

They don't really want Zimmer gone, but some folks can't handle prosperity. Winning by 1, or 10, or 40 counts the same. No style points in the NFL.

If the Vikings want to feel mad, they could watch this:

I'm matriculating down the field and feeling the HYYYYYYYYYPPPPEEE! Okay, it's time to watch me work.


Maryland Terps (+16) vs. Minnesota Golden Elite Rowers of the Boat The Gophers hold the inside track to Indianapolis right now, thanks to events we will discuss later. They are a good team, but now they have the pressure all to themselves. The spotlight will shine on them starting this week. Maryland seems to be building something, though this is going to be a very difficult ask. I don't expect the Gophers to fall into a trap similar to what happened last week at Memorial Stadium. Gophers 31, Terps 0.

Maryland isn't terrible, but they are inconsistent. The Gophers should win. Minnesota 28, Maryland 20.

Beloved Wisconsin Badgers (+14.5) vs. A School in Columbus Well, last week was quite simply a horrible loss and embarrassment to the entire Badger program. I was very upset with the performance of the entire team and the coaching staff. I still love them all, but sometimes you have to tell the truth. This game is going to be very difficult, and will require near perfection to win. Everyone knows what I think about the Buckeyes as a general rule, but they are arguably the best team in the nation. That's the standard the Badgers are going to have to play at to win. Badgers 24, Buckeyes 17.

Ohio State looks frightening. But you have to face your fears. I think the Badgers will rebound and play very well. But it may not be enough. Ohio State 24, Wisconsin 20.

Glorious Green Bay Packers (-4.5) vs. Kansas City Chiefs This game got more interesting and less interesting simultaneously with the news that Patrick Mahomes cannot play because of injury. This sucks, because this game should have been a fun shootout between two MVP quarterbacks. The Packers looked very good on offense last week and have proven they can win without Davante Adams. The key defensively is to get some pressure on Kansas City and do not let Hill and Kelce make plays. Packers 45, Chiefs 21.

The Chiefs are decent and Arrowhead is a very tough place to win. I think the Packers have only one once in that stadium. Make it two. Packers 31, Chiefs 24.

Los Angeles Chargers (+4) vs. Bear Down Chicago Da Bearz Still Suck The Chargers are playing yet another road game, and it's amazing that they have to play 20 road games if you count the preseason. Da Bearz lost a tough one at home to the Saints, and look like they are out of the race already in the NFC North. Mitch Trubisky is in danger of being run out of town by angry Chicago fans. Even Marty McFly stopped going back to 1985, and the Super Bowl Shuffle crew is not walking through that door alongside Mateen Cleaves. Da Bearz should win, though. Da Bearz Still Suck 14, Chargers 7.

Have I mentioned the Chargers are dumb? Look at where they are. They have a nice team, but Benster is right -- they don't have a fan base and every time they play at home, the other team's fans fill the place. I expect to see a lot of Navy and Orange in the stands on Sunday. And while Trubisky seems to be channeling Moses Moreno, the Bears can still play defense. And they will. Bears 17, Chargers 10.

I'm walking outside that door. Ben out.

Showtime?

It's on:

Winter may be coming but it's already Springtime for Lawyers in Washington, D.C.  The list of people lawyering up these days would probably fill this page and lap over onto the next. It's just been announced that the John Durham investigation into the provenance of the Russia probe has turned into a criminal investigation. 

Subpoenas and grand juries are coming, real ones, not the Star Chamber counterfeits being orchestrated by the panicked Democrats and their junior league Southern California Torquemada.

The whole point of the phony impeachment inquiry was to muddy the waters. By getting out ahead of Durham, the Dems and their MSM buddies will now claim the inquiry is partisan revenge and therefore illegitimate. As always, you get more projection out of the Democrats than you see at a 20-screen multiplex theater.

The real question -- will Durham really do what he needs to do? Or will he bury it, like all the other scandals before? I would like to believe, but speaking of projection -- we've seen this movie before.

Benster and D Pick Your Games---Enough With The Thursday Games Edition

Old dude, can the NFL stop with the Thursday games outside of Thanksgiving? It's getting absurd.

Have you ever seen the movie Cabaret, old chum?

I'd never seen Roger Goodell wearing a top hat before!

If you're fortunate, you never will again.

I know, but it's not like the NFL was doing poorly before.

Not the point. It's all about the money. Player safety? Player schmafety! Adam Thielen can't play? Too bad. Get the money.

These midweek games make you even more cynical than usual, Geritol Fan. Time to discuss the Vikings. Watch me work!

Washington Gridlocks (+16.5) vs. Minnesota Vikings. Unlike other events involving Washington, this one will be done in full view of the public. The Gridlocks are a terrible football team, and the federal government is probably better run these days. This game is interesting because of the quarterback duel. Case Keenum returns to Minnesota for the first time since the Minneapolis Miracle, and he is generally viewed favorably around these parts. Kirk Cousins on the other hand has a more complicated relationship with the locals, and will face the Gridlocks for the first time since leaving them in free agency. This game provides a natural comparison between the two, and there should be a lot of takes depending on the outcome. No Thielen is going to hurt the Vikings, but they were fine against Detroit after he went out. In addition, the short week always is a difficult ask for any team. The Vikings should win, but I would expect Washington to cover. Vikings 28. Gridlocks 17.

Yeah, the story lines are all over this matchup. Not much else, though. Cousins seems to have found his groove and he's played quite well since he was removed from the Solder Field turf with a spatula a few weeks back. I think it will go well one more week. Vikings 31, Redskins 14.

We will be back Friday to pick the rest of the games. Ben out!

Star Chamber Schiff Gets Bum Rushed in the SCIF

I’m glad the Republicans finally stormed the castle today, disrupting the reindeer games of Adam Schiff and his merry band of miscreants. At no point since the putative “impeachment inquiry” began has there been any actual inquiry going on. What happens in that super secret room is narrative manufacturing. It’s crap, and the Democrats know it. But they also know their confreres in the media will report whatever they manufacture as news. Can you get a career denizen of Foggy Bottom to contradict the Bad Orange Man? Of course. That’s easy. And whatever serves the narrative is probative, no matter how many other officials contradict the statements, and no matter that this most recent dude is reporting third-hand.

The Republicans in Congress have been letting this charade go on for a month now. It should have stopped the day it began. The only way to conduct a legitimate inquiry is to let both sides participate. That hasn’t happened and the Dems have had no intention of allowing anyone to provide any scrutiny of their manufacturing process. We currently have auditors in my office -- they come every year because the company where I'm currently working is transparent. The Congress needs plenty of auditing. And an enema.

Benster and D Pick Your Games---No Refs Were Harmed Edition

Old dude, you mentioned that I am going to have words about what happened to the LOLions on Monday Night Football?

Well, I figured you would.

I do, but I will save those comments for when we discuss that game.

Building up a head of steam, as usual, Grasshopper?

Oh, it'll be red hot steaming.

Benster is red hot, D's picks are doodly squat, then?

You're catching on. Old guys can be educated! I am feeling the HYYYYYYYYYPPPPEEE!, and am ready to work.

Minnesota Golden Elite Rowers of the Boat (-28.5) vs. Rutgers Scarlet Knights. The Gophers finally got ranked after taking Nebraska to the woodshed last weekend, and they get a reward of going to a Rutgers squad that is terrible once again. This game is going to be very noncompetitive and not worth the investment unless you are a fan of these two teams or are betting on this. When will the Gophers actually play a real opponent that will actually challenge them? Row Row Row Your Boat Elitely 50, Buttgers 0.

Rutgers ought to try the Midwest Conference. They might be able to handle that. Gophers roll. Gophers 38, Rutgers 7.

Beloved Wisconsin Badgers (-31) vs. Illinois Fighting Illini.  First of all, let us bask in the glory that is Lovie Smith's beard. It is a work of art, and testament to the natural beauty that our world contains. Wisconsin looked dominant on defense yet again against a Spartan team that looked overmatched and could not handle the Badgers. The danger in this game is that people are going to be looking ahead to the showdown against A School In Columbus. This game could be tight, but the Badgers should win and then worry about the Buckeyes. Badgers 38, Illini 17.

It is lush and luxuriant:

Like the cliffs of Dover, but in handy beard format

Unfortunately, his team? Not so much. Bucky keeps it going in Champaign. Badgers 52, Illini 3.

Minnesota Vikings (-2) vs. Detroit LOLions Before I unleash my thoughts, let me offer some thoughts on the Vikings. They looked very impressive last week, and it was great to see Kirk Cousins get involved in the offense and have him take some pressure off Dalvin Cook. It was a comfortable win, and they are in a good position right now. With that being said, it's time for a Very Special Comment.

Everyone duck and cover!

Benster's gonna drop the bomb!

Are you through yet? Never interrupt a trained professional when he is working, mkay? Ahem. The Detroit Lions are getting a lot of sympathy from the national media because the officials inserted themselves into the game at Lambeau. The reason that the narrative has spread is because of ESPN announcer Booger McFarland. McFarland complained about the officiating during the final drive, and what he didn't realize was that there was at least 13 million viewers watching his broadcast on ESPN. I say at least because the game was simulcast on local stations in the Packers and Lions home markets, so there was probably more people watching on those stations, in addition to people watching at restaurants. He gave no credit to the Packers for taking advantage of getting those breaks, and fighting through adversity. The Lions were +3 in the turnover battle, but only got field goals out of those turnovers. The Lions fan base has a victim mentality when it comes to the refs, but they never blame ownership for making terrible hires, or admit they lost. That mentality disgusts me, as they can't give the Packers any credit. McFarland really should understand how he set the narrative, and he should be ashamed for selling the Packers short.

This is a desperation game because of the tightness of the NFC North. Thus, I default to the desperate team at home rule. LOLions 24, Vikings 10. 

Glad you feel better now. Booger had a point, I suppose, but he's also trying to save his job because the folks at ESPN have not been happy with him, so a little controversy never hurts, I guess. In any event, this is actually a pretty crucial game. I need to disagree with you at some point, so. . . Vikings 27, Lions 23.

Oakland Raiders of Las Vegas (4.5) vs. Glorious Green Bay Packers The Packers had a very narrow escape at home against the LOLions, and are going to be very shorthanded at receiver. It's also a short week, and the Raiders come in fully rested after their win in London over da Bearz. This game might be a little closer than one would think, but the Packers should win to keep pace in the NFC North. It's vital that the Packers hold the head to head tiebreaker on everyone else in the division as well as the 3-0 record in the division. Packers 31, Raiders 20.

This game concerns me, because the Packers don't have a lot of wide receivers. Not sure if they called back Terry Mickens (remember him?), but they should be able to get past a decent Raiders team. Packers 27, Raiders 17.

New Orleans Saints (+4) vs. Bear Down Chicago Da Bearz Still Suck Well, Mitch Trubisky is going to return to start, and this game is going to be interesting. The Saints have looked good without Drew Brees, and it's great to see Teddy Bridgewater back and happy. The Bears need this win at home to keep pace in the division. This game is very interesting, and I expect a lot of offense. Saints 45, da Bearz 28.


The Saints have done well with Teddy. But now they have to play the Bears without Brees and without Alvin Kamara? In Chicago? Good luck with that. Bears 17, Saints 14.

Who goes by Booger, anyway? That's not even a good stage name for the WWE. Ben out!

il miglior fabbro

John "Doc Zero" Hayward doesn't get a lot of attention because he plies his trade at Breitbart, but he's a wonderful writer and observer. He writes about foreign policy issues these days and this summation of the most recent Dem debate is spot-on, especially on the matter of Syria:

None of the Democrats wanted to discuss Turkey’s claims of a severe security threat from northeastern Syria, discuss why the international community did nothing to address those claims, or explain why the United States was held solely responsible for preventing Turkey from taking action. They treated the notion of Russian and Syrian involvement against the Turkish assault as inherently outrageous without explaining why the Syrian government should not be held responsible for protecting its own citizens and securing its own borders. They complained about escaping ISIS prisoners without discussing why thousands of them were still parked in Kurdish prison camps and how long they should be left there.

None of the Democrats was asked to present a war plan for fighting Turkey or discuss how much the U.S. depends on Turkish bases for operations in the Middle East. None of them, not even Biden, was pressed on how the Obama administration set the table for current events. None of them acknowledged the difficulty of getting reliable information from any party involved in the savage Syrian civil war, although Gabbard came close when she pointed out how dodgy some of the groups supported by the Obama administration were.

And of course, CNN would not dream of asking the Democrat candidates — several of whom are sitting senators — why their caucus did not authorize military force against Turkey to protect the Kurds, instead spending all of its time on an impeachment crusade against President Trump. Trump said he wanted to pull troops out of Syria almost a year ago, and Erdogan was threatening to invade long before that. The Democrats had plenty of time to pass the appropriate congressional resolutions and send a strong message to Turkey, but that would have involved putting real political capital on the line instead of sniping from the sidelines.

I asked a question about troop levels in Syria yesterday because I don't know these answers. But I recognize demagoguery when I see it. As always, read the whole thing.

Question for the audience

How many actual troops did we have stationed in Syria? And where are they going? I guess that's two questions.