Enough swine flu and deficit spending -- it's time for some music, y'all. As usual, I have my partner in crime Fearless Maria with me and she asked her brother Ben for some suggestions for this week. Did Ben come through for us, Maria?
Well, what do you know? For once, he actually got into some real Thursday stuff. Not so much that he wants to help us write it, of course. But he did give me some suggestions.
Well Maria, are they any good?
Well Dad, all I can say is that first song has a little bit of change in it. Especially the outfits! It's David Bowie, performing, you guessed it. . .
That one goes back to about 1973 or so, when Bowie was doing some kind of theatrical stuff. Lots of makeup, huh, Maria?
I agree. Lots of strange and weird makeup! Strange but true! When he turned to face the strange changes, when he turned his head to put on the strange makeup! I think he looks a little bit like a raccoon, if you ask me!
Well Maria, raccoons like to dig in trash cans and maybe that's where he got that makeup! Anyway, let's move on. So what did Ben pick next?
Hmm, it says on this piece of paper that he picked Hannah Montana! Just kidding, he picked Tom Cochrane, singing this one:
It's a good song, Dad, but what's with the fat dude in shorts eating the popsicle? I don't quite get the message on that one!
I don't know, Maria. Maybe he borrowed the outfit from Gino? Or maybe he got it from these guys.
Sorry Gino, my dad wrote that. I hope you don't think we're hippies now!
Somehow, I don't think that Gino thinks we're hippies, Maria. At least he knows that you're not a hippie. Anyway, so what else did your brother leave for us?
Ben said this was his recital. He thinks it's very vital, for him to rock a rhyme that's right on time. . .
That's a tricky choice, Maria. Do you know who the guys with the cards are?
That's easy, they're jerks!
Well, maybe they are. But they are actually magicians named Penn and Teller. They don't really scam people with card games.
Well, did Penn and Teller really act like Run DMC in Japan?
No, but they might have performed a magic show in Japan.
Their best trick -- make the jerk disappear!
They'll be happy to know that you aren't a big fan, Maria. But we'll move on. What did Ben suggest next?
I think Ben suggested some Bobby Sherman! Dad, can we veto that one?
By all means, let's veto that one! Seriously, what did he suggest?
He thought this one would be good. Bet you didn't know this, Dad, but Ben is a secret bagpipe fan!
Really, Maria? I find that a little hard to believe.
No, it's true, Dad! See for yourself!
I don't think that's really a bagpipe song, Maria.
I know, Dad. That just brings our ratings up. It's called creative journalism!
I think the term you're looking for is creative license, Maria, and your creative license might get suspended if you're not careful. Anyway, what else did he suggest?
Dad, I think you'd better call the cops!
Why would I call the cops, Maria?
Because Ben just confessed to a horrible crime!
Ben did? Really?
Yeah, Dad. Says so right here. He said
You know what the good news is, Dad? He didn't shoot the deputy!
Well, that is a relief!
I don't think he shot the sheriff, either. I made that part up. More creative journalism!
Creative journalism, eh? A couple more outbursts like that and you'll probably get hired by MSNBC.
Dad, I can't go work for MSNBC, they have those child labor laws. Tell me, do the child labor laws mean I don't have to do my homework?
Nice try, Maria. Anyway, you may have to do your homework later, but now the other people have to do their homework by voting.
If you don't do it, you'll be going to Principal Dilettante's office! And you'll stay there 24/7 until you vote!