Thursday, January 21, 2010

Guilty Pleasures Part Sixty-One -- Eyes on the Zeros

Man, it's been a long time since we've done a Guilty Pleasures around here. Fearless Maria, have you been hiding?

No! Well, sort of, if you count having to do a million pounds of homework and being cooped up in your room as hiding, then yes.

A million pounds of homework?

Yes, Dad! I took it to a truck scale and weighed it!

Okay, well then it must be true. Anyway, we've begun another new decade, or at least reached a year that ends in 0. So does that give you any ideas about what we should do tonight?

Why yes, it does. Why don't we do top hit songs from these years: 1960, 1970, 1980, 1990 and 2000, which was the year I was born! That was 10 years ago, people! I'm "double digits" now!

And the world is getting ready for you. Shall we begin?

Yes, sir!

So, let's look at 1960. It was the infancy of rock and roll and the top rock song on the chart (and #3 overall) that year was by two singing brothers from Kentucky, Don and Phil Everly.

And then there was this one, #10 overall, one of the first big dance crazes. It's Chubby Checker, doing

So how did you like those two, Maria?

Both are sort of "interesting." I just tried that Twist dance craze, but it seems kinda boring to me. But I do get the Chubby Checker thing -- he has a chubby face and was wearing an ugly checked suit. So he looked the part. Did you notice that the girls in the audience weren't sure if they were supposed to have fun or not? You'd think they would have figured that one out, right?

I suppose, but I'm not certain that fun was allowed in 1960, Maria.

They were certainly having more fun than the Everly Brothers, though. They were just singing. Maybe Chubby is more of a clown than Cathy's Clown, huh?

I think so. So do you think things changed by 1970?

Let's find out.

Well, consider this effort from our friends to the North. It's the Guess Who, pride of Winnipeg, Manitoba, in full snarl with:

And then, maybe a little less angry, there was this, from the always-cheerful Jackson 5:

Well those were pretty different! The Guess Who wanted to get the ladies out of there, but the Jackson 5 wanted to get the ladies in there! So, who was that singer for the Guess Who? I don't know, so I have to guess who!

Well, I know. His name is Burton Cummings.

It sounded like he should have been named Burton Goings! He looked like the world's angriest ice cream salesman! No chocolate for you!

But you like the Jackson 5, right?

Yes, but wasn't that weird for Michael to be singing about girls and love? Most of the boys my age are pretty gross and would rather talk about anything but girls!

Well, Michael had a little help I think.

Maybe he got some advice from Tito, huh? Or maybe he just wrote to Dear Abby!

As good a theory as I have, Maria. Shall we move on to 1980?

Sure. And look who's back! It's Michael Jackson again, but it looks he ditched Tito! And Dear Abby, maybe:

Dad, it looks somebody had a little accident with the glitter can! I'm not sure that sweater looks so good on him, either. But he sure got a lot more sparkly than he was 10 years before. Personally, I prefer the dress shirt and vest stuff -- I don't think he'd get to wear those glitter clothes to church!

That would have been interesting. But did you want to see another video from 1980?

Sure, Dad. What about this one?

That Blondie sure was busy. I assume a lot of people would have called her. Dad, is Blondie in the phone book?

Don't think so, Maria.

Oh, that's right, everyone was calling this number back then.

I think people are still calling that number, Maria.

You mean for the plumbing guy?

Yeah, I suppose. Anyway, shall we leak on over to 1990?

Yes, Dad. Can you show me some girl singers?

No problem, Maria. There were a lot of them. Like this lady, Alannah Myles:

And of course you had Madonna:

Seems like both these ladies like to strike a pose to me! Was that a big thing back then? Did Mom strike a pose?

Mom's not exactly the type to strike a pose, Maria.

Maybe we can get her to do that some time!

Good luck with that one, Maria.

Anyway, both those ladies have some really fancy clothes. I guess Alannah Myles wanted some black velvet, or maybe she was tired of it? It was hard to tell. It's hard for me to believe that these songs came out 20 years ago. The music style hasn't changed that much since then. I guess those crooning teenage idols we see these days are a little different, but they'd like to be able to strike a pose like Madonna, I bet!

No doubt about that, Maria. So shall we go on to 2000?

Well, Dad, you have to pick this one!

Yes, I guess I have to. I'll be honest -- I wasn't paying a lot of attention to the pop charts in 2000. I was kinda busy watching you. But since you were our child, we can turn to Destiny's Child and:

So let me see if I have this right. Carlos Santana said my name, but Destiny's Child want us to Say My Name? That's confusing! And does that mean that I'm the Destiny Child, Maria Maria?

That's a good theory, Maria. Let's go with that.

By the way, I think Destiny's Child must have been working for a paint store the way they keep changing colors quickly. I think that was a cool idea, but kinda weird. But you know what's really weird, Dad?

What's that, Maria?

That we're done. So let's have people pick their favorite in the comments section! Things really changed from 1960 to 2000, that's for sure!

And they keep changing, Maria. Yes they do.


Gino said...

i'd go with black velevet, but it just doesnt seem like its been 20yrs already.

sheesh, i'm getting old.

my name is Amanda said...

Destiny's Child kepting changing singers, in addition to colors, back then ('cept for Beyonce of course). One of the comedians joked on the MTV video awards that he would say their names if he knew what they were.

Brad Carlson said...

One of the comedians joked on the MTV video awards that he would say their names if he knew what they were.

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! Well played!