Benster and D Pick Your Games -- Week 17

It's Week 17 and some teams are looking to get into the playoffs! Can you feel the HYYYYYYPPPPE!!!!

I guess.

C'mon, Decrepit! Where's your enthusiasm? Did it go south for the winter? Or do you keep it in a glass on the counter with your teeth?

Hey now.

Okay, enough cheapshots directed at the old dude. Let's get down to bidness!

New York Football Giants (+9) vs. Minnesota Vikings. The Vikings come into this game needing a win and help to get a first round bye, which seemed like an absolute lock a few weeks ago before they started playing games in cold weather on the road. I wonder if Fav-ray is wearing out, because he can't get any rest tomorrow, or he'll have to play in the first round, which is something that Chilly really doesn't want to do. Especially if they have to play the Packers, which would start the Favre circus up again and lead to enormous quantities of HYYYYYYPPPPPE!!!!! Look for the Giants to be like the Poles in September, 1939. Vikes 84, New York Football Giants 13.

84-13? I believe that was the score that the Gophers lost to Nebraska about 25 years ago. We won't see that again on Sunday. I suspect the Vikings will play well and win the game, but my suspicion is that the Giants may make it interesting, mostly because they can and they feel like they owe the Vikings a few. Vikings 27, Giants 20.

Glorious Green Bay Packers (+3 1/2) vs. Arizona House of Cards. This game reads like a classified document. Green Bay really has nothing to gain from this game and chances are they will end up staying in Glendale for the Wild Card game next week, so they might not want to show any of their tactics to the Cardinals. However, the Cardinals have an outside chance of getting a first round bye, but then again they might still be playing the Packers. I'm thinking that for a lot of the game, it could be a battle between backup quarterbacks named Matt. Who do you like, Flynn or Leinart? They both won national championships in college, so they both know how to win. But Mr. Leinart is also a Heisman winner. While the fan in me says no to this, the reason in me says yes. Cardinals 28, Packers 22.

Actually, I see the game about the same. The Cardinals should know by kickoff if they'll have a chance at the first round bye -- if they do (by virtue of a Vikings loss), they'll play hard. If they don't, probably not so much. The Packers? They'll play to win for as long as it makes sense to do so. It will be an odd game, though, and I wouldn't be surprised if it's a blowout either way. For now, I'll agree with Seabiscuit, though. Cardinals 31, Packers 27.

Bear Down Chicago da Bearz (-3) vs. Motor City Common House Pets. Well, unlike the Packer-Cardinal game, there's no playoff implications in this one. The Lions have won only 2 games all year, which was an improvement over last year, even though the fans in Detroit are still wearing bags over their heads. This game does feature two of my favorite whipping boys, Jay Cutler, who actually showed some integrity last week, and the Detroit Lions as a team that, much like the local economy in Michigan, is going down faster than a hambone in a starving wolf convention. Detroit fans, keep those bags handy! Bears 73, Lions 0.

Did you say something, Ben? I must have dozed off thinking about this game. Cutler played well last week and that was somewhat amusing. The question here is this -- what will happen to Lovie Smith after the game? Will da Bearz play hard to save Lovie, or are they going to lie down, get Lovie fired and usher in the Mike Leach regime? Bears 21, Lions 14.

Okay, let's switch gears here and bring on the BCS National Championship Game (sort of). I am not going to engage in HYYYYYYPPPPPPE! for this one, because I think that Boise and TCU are getting robbed here. At least they should do a national semi-finals or "plus one" or something this time, that actually can rid of the mythical part of the mythical national championship. I'm not even sure that the University of Texas is the best college team in Texas!

Texas Longhorns (+4) vs. Alabama Crimson Tide, at Pasadena, CA. Okay, like I said earlier, I question why two power conference schools got into this game when two other just as good schools were sent off to Arizona. It's like saying you're good enough when all 4 teams went undefeated. But I'll leave that to the TCU and Boise fans. As for the game, I see that Alabama played the much better championship game, beating Florida pretty handily, while Colt McCoy got chased around a lot by Ndamukong Suh, who plays like this guy but whose name sounds like this guy. Anyway, Texas will have to beat Mark "I Struck the Heisman Pose" Ingram and Nick Saban will have to figure out a way to stop Colt "Texas Sheriff" McCoy and Jordan "Texas Deputy" Shipley. Roll Tide 31, We're Texas (And You're Not) 30.

I never knew you were a fan of Hong Kong Phooey, young fella. Glad to see you're upping your 70s quotient! As for the game, my usual rule of thumb is this -- in these games, the team with the better defense usually wins. That would be Alabama. So I'll pick them. Watch for the Tide to play ball control, keep McCoy off the field and win it Ohio State-style. Boring but effective. Alabama 24, Texas 16.

So you say that the next coach in Chicago is going to be Mike Leach? He'll be coming with a little baggage, but maybe he can keep the baggage in the closet where he stores wide receivers. Of course, Craig James probably won't like this joke much, but he probably won't understand it because he went to SMU. Ben out!