A commenter's fears are realized

UPDATE (3/9/10): I got one important fact wrong in this piece, which is referenced at the end.

A valued commenter and concerned citizen offered the following opinion in recent days:

The Democrat agenda is about helping those in need, Mr. D - ACORN is a great example of this. Whereas Conservative Republicans (with that I mean literally the politicians and the media, not you personally, or actually any of the Republicans in my life) are about supporting the people who keep the needy people needy - the agenda to destroy ACORN is a great example of that.

As it turns out, our commenter is correct. The Snidely Whiplashes are on the loose and the agenda to destroy ACORN is indeed happening apace, and only one state away from Minnesota. Look what's happening in Wisconsin:

MILWAUKEE – Attorney General J.B. Van Hollen announced today that the Milwaukee Election Fraud Task Force has brought additional electoral fraud cases against five Wisconsin residents. The Department of Justice, acting as Special Prosecutor for Milwaukee County, has filed felony charges against Maria Miles, Kevin Clancy, Michael Henderson, Herbert Gunka, and Suzanne Gunka, all alleging election fraud arising out of the November 4, 2008, Presidential Election. “The integrity of elections is dependent upon citizens and officials insisting they be conducted lawfully. Wisconsin’s citizens should not have to wonder whether their vote has been negated or diminished by illegally cast ballots,” Attorney General J.B. Van Hollen said.

Sounds like a grandstand play to me. We all know there's no voter fraud -- it just doesn't happen, as social justice centers at top-flight law schools remind us. This must be a misunderstanding or something. And what does this have to do with ACORN anyway?

According to the criminal complaints, Miles and Clancy served as Special Registration Deputies (“SRD”) for the City of Milwaukee in advance of the 2008 Presidential Election. Each worked for the Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now (“ACORN”). Miles and Clancy are each charged with the felony offense of Falsely Procuring Voter Registration as Party to a Crime. The complaint alleges that Miles and Clancy submitted multiple voter registration applications for the same individuals, and also were part of a scheme in which they and other SRDs registered each other to vote multiple times in order to meet voter registration quotas imposed by ACORN.

Really? Can't be. Must be some trumped up thing. This Van Hollen guy can't be serious about this.

Henderson is charged with one count of Voting by a Disqualified Person and one count of Providing False Information to Election Officials, both felonies. The complaint alleges that Henderson registered to vote at the polls on November 4, 2008, thereby certifying that he was a qualified elector. It also alleges that he then cast a ballot. At that time, Henderson was on an active period of probation for felony convictions from Rock County. A felon on an active period of supervision for a felony offense is prohibited by state law from voting in any election.

Now, I lived in Rock County, Wisconsin for six years in the 1980s and I know how things are there. That's not possible. There were never any felons in Rock County. It must be a mistake.

Herbert and Suzanne Gunka are each charged with the felony offense of Double Voting. The complaint alleges that they each voted in the November 2008 election by casting absentee ballots before the election. The complaint also alleges that after casting absentee ballots, they each voted in person at their polling place on election day.

But that doesn't happen. There is no voter fraud, as reputable online journals like Slate assure us. This must be some Republican plot to keep the poor and needy from exercising their franchise.

So what is the deal here, anyway? What is Van Hollen's excuse for this sort of reckless behavior? The complaint against the ACORN employees, Miles and Clancy, is here, in a PDF format. The invaluable Ed Morrissey has compiled some of the key information:

The Miles-Clancy complaint has some interesting allegations, which will undoubtedly create problems for ACORN in the future. According to Maria Miles, ACORN required employees to register five people in a six-hour period. Over the course of a week, that requirement gradually increased to 20 new registrants in a six-hour period. If they failed to meet their goals on any one day, they would get docked an hour’s pay. If they failed to meet that goal three days in a row, ACORN would fire them.

Meet your quota or get fired? Are we sure of that? ACORN exists to help the needy. This sounds like something out of Glengarry Glen Ross. Coffee is for closers, after all. But that can't be right, can it? Organizations that help the needy would never behave that way. And of course it couldn't be like that. It was worse. Let Morrissey explain:

So instead of getting fired, ACORN workers began registering each other. Not only did that protect their jobs, but one of them began having sex with the supervisor in order to keep from getting fired.

Registering each other? That's a handy euphemism for Topic A. But that can't be right. Again, from the complaint:

Miles indicated that at one point, Gabriele Robinson began sleeping with their supervisor, Edward Williams. Miles stated she would go to Robinson’s residence and hang out for the day. She stated at the end of the day, Williams signed off as though they had turned in their 20 signatures for that day, giving them their pay. Miles stated that she and Robinson did this at least once a week, and that they received payments for those days when they did not turn in registrations because Robinson was sleeping with Williams.

Miles also advised the agents that the individuals would travel in groups and, if and individual registered a citizen to vote, the other SRDs would tell the citizen, “It doesn’t hurt if you sign this one also.” Thus, multiple SRDs recorded a signature from the same person. Miles stated that they were “all hoodlums” working for ACORN and they all had criminal histories, and that they were going to “do whatever they had to do” to be able to gain their money at the end of the day.

Sometimes people have to "do whatever they had to do." After all, coffee is for closers. And if it requires registering each other, hey -- what are you gonna do?

This is all a novel version of helping the needy. But one still has to doubt the veracity of the complaint, which must be a dirty trick from a bitter Republican. Well, one problem with that -- Attorney General J.B. Van Hollen, a fellow with a name that is almost redolent of Gilded Age perfidy, is a Democrat.*

*Update: I got that last part wrong. As it turns out, Van Hollen is that rarest of rare birds, a Republican Attorney General. So our valued commenter's theory might be right. Except for one thing -- the prosecutors Van Hollen is working with in Milwaukee County aren't Republicans. And one of the lead prosecutors tells an interesting story here:

Milwaukee police officers sat on their hands for months last year instead of investigating possible voter fraud cases from the 2008 general election.

It's an incredible claim, but it's coming from a credible source:

Assistant District Attorney Bruce Landgraf, the Milwaukee County prosecutor responsible for overseeing campaign and election issues.

"Honestly, the Milwaukee Police Department largely ignored your double voter (and other) referrals received in January 2009 for the first six months of 2009," Landgraf wrote in an e-mail to a city elections official on Jan. 26.

Speaking with unguarded candor, the veteran prosecutor said in his note that MPD's tardy response had a major impact. The cases involve voters who may have cast more than one ballot, felons who may have voted illegally and other cases of possible election fraud.

"Sadly, several probable cases of genuine voter fraud were harmed by that delay," Landgraf wrote in an e-mail obtained through an open records request.

The assistant district attorney was even more pessimistic about the investigation of more than 500 individuals who registered to vote on election day but whose addresses could not be confirmed later by postcard.

"I do not expect them to ever get to the Address Cards," he said of the Milwaukee cops.