Benster and D Pick Your Games -- Get That Skyline Chili Hot, Boys! Edition

Yep -- it's Cincinnati week! The Packers are going to play the Bungles. We'll talk about that a little later, though, because we have other things to do, like apply my analytical skills to the college ranks.

Skills?

Yes, Geritol Fan, skills. I have skills. You have signs of dementia.

I have to go with my strengths.

Fair enough. Watch me work!

San Jose State Spartans (+3.5) vs. Minnesota Golden Gophers. So you would think the Gophers would be safe against yet another hopelessly overmatched nonconference foe. You would be wrong. The Spartans are a pretty good outfit. They went to a bowl game last year and finished their season 10-2. Now, I suspect they might have played a few cupcakes, but still, 10 wins is 10 wins. And they have a very good quarterback by the name of David Fales, who rarely fails. He's quite likely to be a serious Heisman contender. Yes, I just said that. Meanwhile, the Gophers are undefeated, untied and a bit unknown. They have played pretty well against a parade of nobodies, but this one is a legitimate test and you would be a fool to expect a blowout. San Jose State 29, Gophers 17.

Interesting. I did check San Jose State's opponents last year and it appears that they played several high schools and a prison team from San Quentin. Actually, I made that up. They're okay. I do think the Gophers are better. The key question is how backup quarterback Mitch Leidner plays, since Phillip Nelson is not going to be available. Gophers 28, SJSU 24.

Purdon't Boilermakers (+24) vs. Beloved Wisconsin Badgers. The good news for the Badgers is that there is no evidence that Pac-12 officials are going to be anywhere near Camp Randall. Man, did the Badgers get hosed or what? It doesn't matter now -- they aren't going to change the score. But, the Badgers have come back from tough defeats repeatedly over the last three years. And they've found their way to Pasadena each time. The road back starts now. Purdue? Be afraid. Be very afraid. Bucky 90, Boilermaker Pete 0.

Uh, no. Purdue isn't very good, but if the Badgers haven't scored over 50 points against Tennessee Tech, they aren't going to put up 90 on Purdue. However, I think they will score a lot of points. And Purdue won't. Wisconsin 49, Purdue 14.

Michigan State Spartans (+5.5) vs. Notre Dame Fighting Irish. I watched a little of the Irish last week and they struggled against Purdue. Granted, the game was in West Lafayette, but let's be truthful here -- the Boilermakers kinda stink. As an alert reader, you'll see that I picked the Badgers to beat Purdue by 90. So while comparing scores is always a dangerous game, I have to think that the Irish aren't really that good this year. As for Sparty, the same could be said. I don't see any evidence that the Spartans have cleaned up their program or that they'll be able to score very much. So the question is -- which team sucks less? Irish 17, Sparty 13.

Remind me why we picked this game? Oh yeah, it was hard to get too enthusiastic over the Alabama/Colorado State game. I guess they can't play to a scoreless tie, so let's give our pal Bubba a little love and say: Michigan State 17, Notre Dame 13.

Cleveland Browns (+6) vs. Minnesota Vikings. So the Browns have already decided to mail it in for the year, having traded away their only good offensive player, Trent Richardson, to the Colts. The Browns have signed 52-year-old Willis McGahee to replace him, presumably because Earnest Byner wouldn't take their phone calls. If I were a Cleveland fan, I'd be pretty angry about all this. How can you support a team that trades away their best players? That's like rooting for the Minnesota Twins! As for the Vikings, they almost pulled it off in Chicago, but Jay Cutler broke their hearts. I'm sad to say that plenty of other quarterbacks are going to break their hearts, too. Fortunately the for the Vikings, the Browns don't have a quarterback, since Chris Chandler wouldn't take their calls, either. Vikings 10, Browns 0.

The Vikings will win this game easily. There's nothing else to say about it. Minnesota 31, Cleveland 10.

Glorious Green Bay Packers (-2.5) vs. Cincinnati Bengals. I've been to Cincinnati recently. It's a lot of fun. You get enormous mounds of cheese covered chili and really good ice cream. You also should stay in Florence, y'all. That would be Florence, Kentucky, which has the world's coolest water tower. You doubt me? Check it out:

You only wish you were as cool as that water tower. As for the game, the Bengals are a pretty good team and they have some weapons. Watch out for A. J. Green, who might be the best receiver in the AFC. However, they have only an okay quarterback in Andy Dalton, who just isn't an elite guy. The Packers have an elite guy. You may have heard of him. Packers 40, Bengals 35.

This game makes me nervous, because the Bengals can rush the passer. Aaron Rodgers is playing at a tremendous level right now, however. I think the young fella is right, it's going to be a high scoring affair. Packers 35, Cincinnati 31.

Bear Down Chicago da Bearz (-2.5) vs. Pittsburgh Stillers. So when was the last time the Steelers were a home underdog? I believe it was about 1971. Da Bearz did a nice job of finishing the deal against the Vikes last week; however, it's time to break out our favorite theory -- watch out for the desperate team at home. Pittsburgh 23, da Bearz 7.

Gino thinks the Bears are for real. It's possible that they are. We'll know a lot more about the Bears if they can go into a hostile environment and win. The Steelers are in trouble this year, so I think they will. Bears 24, Steelers 21.

I would just like to send a request to Rupert Murdoch. Can you send anyone besides Joe Buck and Troy Aikman to cover the Packers. Please? I'm begging you, in the name of all that is good, just and decent, send them off to watch the Giants or something. Ben out!