Friday, December 27, 2013

Benster and D Pick Your Games -- Showdown Edition

Yes indeed, the Packers and da Bearz are going to play one game for all the marbles, the whole enchilada, the entire bowl of Tostitos. Yes, and the Packers have Aaron Rodgers back. And maybe some more help, too.

Is Don Majkowski coming?

Only if he has a ticket for the game, old dude. Did someone spike your Geritol again?

I don't think so.

Maybe they should. It might help you. Anyway, back to the point I was trying to make before Decrepit interrupted me. Da Bearz should be kicking themselves for playing like a bunch of imposters in Philadelphia last week. They had a chance, their best chance, to win the division outright and get a week to rest. Now, not so much. But before we get to that, we have some other business to attend to. Watch me work!

Detroit Motor City Kitties (+3) vs. Minnesota Vikings, at the Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome. Mall of America Field my butt! It will always be the Dome to me and everyone else who had a chance to visit the amazing inflatable stadium and get pushed out the door with 2000 PSI air pressure. The world's largest moonwalk finally comes to an end on Sunday, and while some locals are excited about the new stadium, I'll kinda miss the Dome. Who could forget all its luxuries, like the roof with the inadvertent reminder of something people would rather not notice:

That's unfortunate
It does go a long way towards explaining why Jerry Burns wanted to invade Poland. Actually, that's not true, and Burnsie would like to set the record straight (by the way, this is exceedingly NSFW):

Bob Schnelker really appreciated Burnsie's #@!% support, I might add. So when you think about it, the Dome has been a lot of #@!% fun over the years. And now they finish it up against the Lions, who are #@!% punks. Vikings 27, Lions 20.

This might be the first time you've ever worked blue. 

Well, I'm 18 now. I can work blue if I want to.

That's appropriate, given how much blue there is in the Metrodome. Actually, the people who were most known for working blue in the Metrodome were drunken Iowa fans, but I'll leave that aside. As for the game, I think it would be only appropriate that the big blue balloon finishes up with the career demise of blowhard Lions coach Jim Schwartz. Bye, Dome! Vikings 34, Lions 31.

Philadelphia Iggles (-6.5) vs. Dallas How 'Bout Them Cowboahs. This is the game that got flexed into the Sunday Night slot and I'll bet NBC isn't happy about what has transpired in the last few days. Tony Romo, noted daredevil and new poster boy for first aid classes about choking, will not have the opportunity to play because he had back surgery today. That means the Cowboahs now turn to Kyle Orton, who was last seen sitting on the bench because he'd been beaten out by Tim Tebow. Yes, Tim Tebow. Any comments, Skip?

But we won't be seeing Tim Tebow because, instead, the Cowboahs picked up the guy who is the dictionary definition of journeyman. Kyle Orton is probably most well-known for his stint in Chicago, where he was Rex Grossman without the pained facial expressions. Actually, Orton's facial expressions were worse:

Seriously, what the hell is wrong with me?
Unfortunately, Kyle Orton has no chance to beat the Eagles and to save his coach's job. Eagles 38, Cowboahs 35.

Yeah, I think the Eagles are probably going to be okay this week. Eagles 54, Cowboys 11.

Glorious Green Bay Packers (-3) vs. Bear Down Chicago da Bearz. How much is Aaron Rodgers worth to Vegas? Consider this -- before the announcement that he would play on Sunday, da Bearz were a 3-4 point favorite. Now, they are home dogs. If you look at the whole stretch for the Packers since they lost to da Bearz in November, the Packers have hung on and actually improved in some areas. You might have noticed this guy:

There is your dagger!
This Packer team mirrors the 2010 squad in some ways, but in my eyes the better comparison is the 2004 Boston Red Sox. In the book "Faithful," the authors document every single day of that season and the most interesting quote comes from Stephen King, just after Game 3 of the ALCS against the hated Yankees.
No baseball team has ever come back from a 3-0 deficit to win a postseason series. But a couple of hockey teams have done it, and we tell ourselves it has to happen sooner or later for a baseball team. It just has to.

We tell ourselves that Derek Lowe has one more chance to turn 2004 from tragickal to magickal.

We tell ourselves it's just one game at a time.

We tell ourselves the impossible can start tonight.
The point I'm making is this: everyone gave up on the Packers after Thanksgiving. You should have heard the old dude moaning about how bad they were. He remembers 1975, and 1977, and all the bad years. However, it's not 1975, or 1977; it's 2013. And the impossible can start at Soldier Field on Sunday afternoon. And da Bearz can be like the 2004 Yankees. Packers 35, da Bearz 31.

Okay, I'll admit I didn't see this coming. The Packers have looked awful at times since Rodgers was slammed to the Lambeau Field turf all those weeks ago. And the young fella is right -- I do remember the bad old days. I remember them well. This team has a chance to win on Sunday; this is not the 1975 Packers coming into Metropolitan Stadium to get their butts handed to them. Rodgers is the best quarterback in football and he should show up well. Still, the Bears are dangerous. The Packers don't have anyone who can match up well with both Brandon Marshall and Alshon Jeffrey. This is a big problem. Can the Packers prevail? I sure hope so. Packers 31, Bears 24.

Old dude, it's not 1975. There's no sign of an aging John Hadl around here. And remember this -- da Bearz lost the last game of the season in 2010, when they had a chance to knock the Packers out. They had another chance in the NFC Championship Game that year. They didn't do it then, either. This Bear team may be better offensively, but defensively they are horrible. They gave up 54 points to the Eagles last week. I don't think they'll be pitching a shutout this time. Ben out!

1 comment:

Gino said...

bears and packers: these two team are basically matched, not unlike the blowout that bears suffered last week in what should have been a competitive shootout.

the question is: which coach has done the best to prepare his scheme.
mc carthy was pretty good when up against lovie smith, but the match up with trestman needs more history than one game (that the Bears won.)

we'll see. should be interesting, and i'll stay reserved until its over.