Benster and D Pick Your Games -- Running Out of Games Again Edition

Old dude, it's hard to find a game to pick these days. Unless we choose to look at the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl, a stirring contest between Air Force and Western Michigan. That's a game I wouldn't watch if it happened in September, so what do we do?

Pick the games we can pick? That's a possibility, right?

Seems sensible to me. But I'm going to have to dig down deep in the well of HYYYYYYPPPPE! to get too excited. Watch me work!

Minnesota Vikings (+6.5) vs. Miami Tuna Net Victims. When we last saw the Dolphins, they were getting crushed by New England. Now that happens all the time, but we are duty bound to look past the thrashing and consider the fate of the local team, which is taking its talents to South Beach, at least temporarily. Somehow I think ol' Zygi won't let the Vikings stay on South Beach, though. Probably they'll be in a motel on Alligator Alley or something. As for the game, the Dolphins almost beat the Packers earlier in the season, but they are 7-7 and pretty much out of the playoff hunt, unless several teams have unfortunate aviation accidents in the next few weeks. I think the Vikings have a chance in this one -- Teddy Bridgewater is playing pretty well and it won't be cold down there. That's certain. Vikings 27, Tuna Net Victims 3.

Here was an early report from Miami:

I was not aware that the coach of Notre Dame was part of the cast. The Vikings have a plan and while the Dolphins are technically still alive for the playoffs, they aren't likely to get there. Still, motivation is a factor and I think the Dolphins will outlast the Vikings in the end. Still, expect a good showing. Dolphins 28, Vikings 24.

Glorious Green Bay Packers (-10.5) vs. Tampa Bay Creamsicles. Last week didn't go particularly well for the Packers, as they struggled against an inspired Buffalo Bills team. This week they head down to Tampa, a place where they've sometimes struggled. However, a quick look at the standings tells us that the Buccaneers have only won two games, both against local Florida high schools. Lovie Smith does have the book on the Packers, but one reason he's in Tampa was that the Packers were regularly running circles around his now antique Tampa 2 defense. The Bucs don't have very good personnel and will have a very difficult time stopping the Packers on offense. And just a reminder -- you have to R-E-L-A-X. That's hard for me to do, given my HYYYYYYPPPE!, but I pay attention to Aaron Rodgers. Packers 51, Bucs 31.

The Packers should win this game. Of course, I said the same thing about last week. I have a better feeling about this one, because the Bucs are, well, 

Charles Barkley is one of the greatest philosophers of our time. Packers 38, Bucs 21.

Detroit Motor City Kitties (-9.5) vs. Bear Down Chicago da Bearz. Our man Jay Cutler finally got benched. He's been replaced by Jimmy Clausen, last seen leading the Carolina Panthers to a #1 draft pick that replaced him. As I have suggested, maybe it's best for Jimmy Clausen to lead this team. He joins a fine tradition of Bears quarterbacks that includes Peter Tom Willis, Sexy Rexy Grossman and Cade McNown. On the bright side, as far as I know, none of these former QBs are in prison, although an earlier Bears QB isn't so fortunate. I am also certain that no other former Bears quarterback has been the governor of Illinois, which is also a position that usually leads to a trip to Joliet. I would like da Bearz to win this game, because it would be exceptionally funny and helpful to the Packers. And you know what? I'm serious. Yes Gino, I'm throwing you a bone on this one. And unlike most Bears quarterbacks, I expect that the pass will not be intercepted. Bearz 31, Choke Artists 0.

Uh, no. Did you watch that game last week? I'm not sure the Bears were even in the stadium for a lot of the game. Marc Trestman is very close to joining the Hamilton Tiger-Cats. Yeah, I'd like the Bears to win, too. But I'm not crazy. Lions 28, Bears 14.

The funny thing is, while I understand that picking the Bears is a ludicrous idea, I've made my peace with it. Just remember this -- I may sound like I'm crazy. But at least I'm not delusional. As far as you know, at least. Ben out!