Benster and D Pick Your Games---Destiny of the Chosen Edition

Old dude, for the Packers and the Vikings, it is time for the real versions of those teams to finally step up and play well in games that they have to win. Make no mistake, both teams have really been terrible the past two weeks.

Or as America's Greatest Living Philosopher would have it:

And it has been as fun as watching a small child try to ride a bike. You are just looking for when the other shoe drops.

I remember getting my bell bottom pants legs caught in the bike chain. Lost more than my shoe on a few of those adventures.

I've seen the pictures, Geritol Fan. You didn't have a bike; you were riding on the back of a Conestoga wagon.

Actually, it looked more like this:

Nice ride, old dude!

Man, that's uglier than your won/loss record in this feature!

But not uglier than our featured teams have been playing!

I might agree, I might not. It is time to pick these games, and next week I am home and we can do Benster and D old school style. The HYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYPPPPPEEE! will be unreal. Watch me work!

Northwestern Wildcats (-2.5) vs. Minnesota Golden Gophers. This line really makes no sense. The Gophers have been a good team and still have a faint hope of getting to Indy to play for a conference title. Northwestern certainly isn't a bad team by any means, but the Gophers are a much better team. Once again Vegas shows a bias that has no reasonable answer. I expect the Gophers to win, though I am sure that they are looking forward to getting the Axe next weekend for the first time since Glen "Mase In Your Face" Mason was the head coach. Gophers 21, Wildcats 10.

It's been a long time since the Axe stayed in Minneapolis. The larger issue for the Gophers will be stopping Northwestern's running attack. I think they will, but it won't be easy. Tough one, but the Gophers prevail. Gophers 20, Wildcats 16.

Beloved Wisconsin Badgers (-28) vs. Purdon't Boilermakers. The Badgers were a team given no chance to win. Colin Cowherd even proclaimed that the Badgers were going to be lucky to get an invite to the Quick Lane Bowl by going 6-6. Well guess what, Colin? Never underestimate that Wisconsin is well coached, and always will play at a high level. If the Badgers win at Purdue and beat the Gophers, they will play either Michigan or Penn State, meaning that at worst Wisconsin might go to either the Rose Bowl or the Orange Bowl. With Louisville already losing on Thursday to Houston, with a win Wisconsin should be no worse than 6th in the next rankings. Purdue is not going to be an issue, since they are, what exactly, Sir Charles?

I thought so. This game should be a good way to have the Badgers establish themselves as a legit threat to sneak in the back door to the playoff. Badgers 49, Purdon't 13.

The largest challenge for the Badgers will be physically getting to the stadium. That wind is nasty tonight! But assuming the Badgers don't travel to West Lafayette on the Edmund Fitzgerald, it should be pretty easy. Badgers 38, Purdue 7.

Arizona Cardinals (+1) vs. Minnesota Vikings. As is the tradition here, whenever the Purple plays the Cardinals, we can't resist playing this. As always, if you are a Vikings fan, I suggest that you do not click this video.

That call never gets old. And funny enough, the Vikings are in danger of having what happened that year repeat, since they have looked terrible since the bye week. Mike Zimmer looks like he is not figuring things out fast enough, and you have to wonder if the Vikings players have been giving their best efforts. The Cardinals have not had a good year, but they have been improving in recent weeks. Local guy and Holy Angels alum Larry Fitzgerald should be a huge factor. If the Vikings struggle early, then they can't go in the tank and the fans need to back them and give them energy. Thankfully, Vikings fans are among the best in the league at doing that. Cardinals 21, Vikings 17.

Can the Cardinals rush the passer? Historically, yes. Do the Vikings block well? No. This could get ugly. Cardinals 31, Vikings 14.

Glorious Green Bay Packers (+2.5) vs. Washington Gridlocks. The Packers really looked about as terrible as I can remember last week in Nashville. The offense played decently well, but the defense looked like they had gotten the wrong sort of film. This game is mission critical for the Packers, who need to avoid getting in an early hole. Thankfully, the Packers did play very well last time they came to suburban D.C., and I expect that this is the week that the Packers finally put a complete game together. Packers 24, Gridlocks 14.

You are fortunate enough to have not lived through the dark ages, young fella. It was brutal stuff. Here's an example from 1980:

Did you see the Packer defensive back? He looked like he was hailing a cab. Awful. Can the Packers get it turned around? I hate to say this, but. . . Redskins 27, Packers 23.

I know that we are only picking the four games this week, but really those were the only interesting games this week that I actually care about. I can't prove da Bearz are still in the league. We'll research the matter for next week. Ben out!