Benster and D Pick Your Games -- Time to Be Elite, Boys and Girls, Edition

All right, I have returned from Galesburg and I am fully prepared to be elite!

So that wasn't you who made the air smell like manure on Monday?

No, but I can see how you were confused. You're easily confused these days. D does stand for dementia, right?

Not yet. But it gives me something to shoot for.

As we get ready to celebrate Thanksgiving today, I always think of the feast to come:

Bon Appetit!

Tasty.

If you don't like being with your family today, remember, it could be worse. You could be a Lions fan!

I wouldn't wish that on anyone. How cruel.

Be thankful for you life, Geritol Fan. Be thankful for the HYYYYYYYYPPPPE! And watch me work!

Minnesota Vikings (-3.5) vs. Detroit LOLions. Well, the Vikings have been having a season that has been going much better than many observers would have expected. They are in control in the NFC North and show no signs of letting the Lions back into the driver's seat. There is one problem, though. Case Keenum is getting a lot of credit for the success of the Vikings; some of this credit is unwarranted. More credit should be given to the organizational stability of the Vikings; Rick Spielman has made some good personnel decisions and the Vikings defense has been quietly playing very well. The Lions are a team that gets by on their ability to rally in the 4th quarter. While that's an impressive trait, it's hard to sustain. I expect this game to be close, but I think the Vikings should not plan on coming home with a victory. Lions 31, Vikings 29.

The Lions are a pretty good outfit, but if you line them up they don't really match up well in this game. Darius Slay needs to take Adam Thielen out of the game, but I'm not sure he can do that. Neither team runs the ball that well, so I expect a lot of passes. That should favor the Lions, but not today. Vikings 27, Lions 23.

That School in Columbus (-12.5) vs. Michigan Harbaughs. The Champions of the West are currently 3rd in the East, so if you're confused, ask Jim Delaney. We will talk a little more next week about That School in Columbus, but this is a game they can't overlook. Michigan looked pretty good in Madison last weekend, but eventually the Badgers wore them down. This game is Michigan's Super Bowl. As is my custom, I will pick against the Buckeyes and hope that the administration sees fit to remove Urban Meyer after the season is over. Michigan 24, That School in Columbus 12.

There was a famous quote attributed to Henry Kissinger, when he was discussing the 1980s era war between Iran and Iraq. He said the best outcome would be if both sides lost. That's generally how most Big Ten fans feel about this game. On balance, I prefer Michigan as a school and a program, but on the field you have to assume the Buckeyes will get it done this time. Ohio State 31, Michigan 27.

Beloved Wisconsin Badgers (-17.5) vs. Minnesota Golden Elite Rowers of the Boat. P.J. Fleck is the gift that keeps on giving, but lately his Elite Rowers of the Boat have been capsizing with alarming frequency. So he's gone back to the source of great inspiration:

You want to get some, you'd better bring some, there, P.J.! The Badgers will not be looking ahead to the Big Ten Championship Game. I freely admit this game is going to be difficult, because the Badgers have not started well in most games this season. I also expect the Elite Rowers of the Boat to jump out quickly. But the Badgers should wear them down, like they've done to every other opponent on their schedule. The Badgers should win and might get some help this weekend. Badgers 31, Row Row Row Your Boat Elitely 17.

The Gophers aren't bereft of talent, but it doesn't add up to much. I think the Badgers are going to force Gophers quarterback Demry Croft to win the game. I don't think he can. And while the Gophers have some talent, especially on their defensive line, the typical Badger attrition strategy will work as designed. Badgers 38, Gophers 14.

Glorious Green Bay Packers (+14) vs. Pittsburgh Stillers. Packers fans, I have good news for you. I'll be going to Green Bay next Sunday to whip them into shape. Meanwhile, the Pack has an unpleasant trip to Pittsburgh to deal with. As strange as this may sound, this is going to be a difficult game for the Steelers. The long break they had might have sapped some of their momentum. And as bad as the Packers looked against the Ravens, I know they can play better. Let's just hope my trip to Lambeau is going to have a less of a hostile feeling. Packers 24, Steelers 7.

Uh, no. Are yinz nuts? I love my Packers, but as this photo from last week's game indicates, things aren't so great:

If you look carefully, you'll see Davante Mays fumbling

The NFL being the NFL, I could see this going weird, but the Pittsburgh defense will have our guy Hundley even more befuddled than he was last week. Not sure what you do about that. I'm just hoping he doesn't get injured, because if Joe Callahan gets into the game, it will look like this:

I remember the bad old days. Yes, I do. Steelers 28, Packers 10.

Oh, ye old dude of little faith! Have a Happy Thanksgiving. And if you don't like your family, watch football! Ben out!