Old dude, we got to hurry to get this post up before we go on assignment to another port of call.
Technically, there is a port in St. Louis, so yeah.
In other news, the Twins clinched the Central crown last night after winning and having the Indians lose. It's a pretty good sports weekend so far. Will that continue?
'Fraid not. Those nasty Eagles made that clear.
Don't know why a guy who should have been ejected was still playing for those Eagles, but whatever. We gotta get busy. Time to watch me work.
Minnesota Golden Elite Rowers of the Boat (-1.5) vs. Purdon't Spoilermakers. The Gophers may very well be undefeated, but they have been dodging some major bullets in order to do so. They probably could have lost all three of their games outside of league play, but were bailed out by their defense each and every time. Purdue has taken a step back, but Rondale Moore is one of those players who is a very dangerous opponent. The good news for the Gophers is that if Fleck gets fired, he can go back to his stupid sayings that cover up his lack of attention to his actual job on the football field. Purdue 31, Row Row Row Your Boat Elitely 9.
Marketing is important, young fella. The Gophers are, well, enigmatic. I don't know what to expect, but I make a lot of wild guesses in this feature, so. . . Gophers 21, Purdue 17.
Northwestern Wildcats (+24.5) vs. Beloved Wisconsin Badgers. Ladies and gentlemen, the Badgers are for real. They looked amazing against Michigan and did whatever they wanted to the Wolverines. Even the most delusional Badger fans like myself could not have seen this coming. This game against Northwestern is going to be a tougher out than the line would tell you. Northwestern is the defending Big Ten West champion, and the Badgers are down two starters for the first half on defense because of targeting calls last week. I still like Wisconsin, but bet on Northwestern to cover. Wisconsin 28, Northwestern 16.
Thanks, Benster the Greek! Northwestern is down this year. Bucky rolls. Wisconsin 38, Northwestern 10.
Minnesota Vikings (+2) vs. Bear Down Chicago Da Bearz Still Suck. The Vikings righted the ship against the Raiders, and the Bears destroyed an easy opponent in the Gridlocks. As much as Vikings fans want to blame Daniel Carlson for missing the playoffs, the bottom line is that da Bearz beat them twice in important games last year. This game is important to both teams because they cannot be down in both the head to head and divisional record tiebreakers. Oh, and time for a Very Special Comment about the Vikings.
Sunday is the type of game that Kirk Cousins is being paid to win, and he quite frankly hasn't since he signed that mammoth contract. Before people come at me with the Rodgers contract, Aaron was a good investment because Aaron is a proven elite quarterback who has won a Super Bowl and multiple league MVP awards. Don't blame Cousins for signing the contract, the man has got to take care of his family. Blame Mike Zimmer and the front office. They are paying a lot of money for a quarterback and not even feature him on offense. But of course because Mike Zimmer can do no wrong and it's never his fault for failing to spend enough time in the offensive meeting room or going through offensive coordinators left and right. Poor Kevin Stefanski gets hired and can't even run his own offense. How would Zimmer like it if someone told him to switch from his beloved double A gap defense that he loves more than life itself? I think that Kirk Cousins needs to be featured more, and if I were the Wilfs that is what I would tell Zimmer, in addition to actually sticking with the coaches that he hires and letting them do their jobs. I like the Bears in this one because they are the desperate team at home. Bears 31, Vikings 0.
Shots fired! I think the Vikings are better than the Bears overall. Whether they can win in Chicago is another matter. They almost never do. Bears 18, Vikings 14.
Yeah, I went there. Someone had to. Ben out!
Friday, September 27, 2019
Thursday, September 26, 2019
In case you'd forgotten
Whistleblowers are in the news these days. But as always, some whistleblowers are more valuable than others:
Since Barack Obama entered the White House in 2009, his government has waged a war against whistleblowers and official leakers. On his watch, there have been eight prosecutions under the 1917 Espionage Act – more than double those under all previous presidents combined.More, much more, at the link, including a reminder of how John Brennan rolled. And it's the Guardian, so you can't call it a right-wing source.
And yet other apparent leaks have gone entirely unpunished or have been treated, as in the case of General David Petraeus, as misdemeanors. As Abbe Lowell, lawyer for one of the Espionage Act eight, Stephen Kim, has argued in a letter to the Department of Justice, low-level officials who lack the political connections to fight back have had the book thrown at them, while high-level figures have been allowed to leak with “virtual impunity”.
Wednesday, September 25, 2019
Benster and D Pick Your Games---Emergency NFL Network Mandated Edition
Old dude, why does the NFL insist on putting football on Thursday outside of Thanksgiving or the season opener? Is it Thanksgiving? No, and it's week 4.
And the Packers will have played on Thursday twice. It's a problem.
Well, not exactly my problem.
No, but it does mean we need to have our picks in early. Or at least one.
Glad I could get you away from Ken Burns and Johnny Cash long enough to do this. Time to watch me work.
Philadelphia Eagles (+4) vs. Glorious Green Bay Packers. Well, this year has been going pretty well for the Packers. They looked good on defense against Denver, and the offense looked a little bit better than what we saw against the Bears and the Vikings. This game is going to be interesting, as the Eagles let their game get away from them against the LOLions, and traveling on a short week is always dicey. This game is not going to be easy, because the Eagles are a team that fights hard and will play hard. The key is to keep doing what works, and the Packers are going to be fine. Packers 31, Eagles 10.
The Packers are catching the Eagles at a good time and in a good place. They are beat up and they are coming into Lambeau. The Packers need to get moving on offense, but the defense is legit. We'll know a lot more about the Packers next week, when they head to Jerry World, but I think this one should be comfortable. Packers 28, Eagles 17.
We will be back later for discussion on the other games. Ben out!
And the Packers will have played on Thursday twice. It's a problem.
Well, not exactly my problem.
No, but it does mean we need to have our picks in early. Or at least one.
Glad I could get you away from Ken Burns and Johnny Cash long enough to do this. Time to watch me work.
Philadelphia Eagles (+4) vs. Glorious Green Bay Packers. Well, this year has been going pretty well for the Packers. They looked good on defense against Denver, and the offense looked a little bit better than what we saw against the Bears and the Vikings. This game is going to be interesting, as the Eagles let their game get away from them against the LOLions, and traveling on a short week is always dicey. This game is not going to be easy, because the Eagles are a team that fights hard and will play hard. The key is to keep doing what works, and the Packers are going to be fine. Packers 31, Eagles 10.
The Packers are catching the Eagles at a good time and in a good place. They are beat up and they are coming into Lambeau. The Packers need to get moving on offense, but the defense is legit. We'll know a lot more about the Packers next week, when they head to Jerry World, but I think this one should be comfortable. Packers 28, Eagles 17.
We will be back later for discussion on the other games. Ben out!
Saturday, September 21, 2019
Going back
It’s difficult to let go of a place, even when you already have done so officially. Mrs. D and I have not been members of St. Adalbert Parish in St. Paul since 2002. It will always be a big part of our lives. We were married there on this day in 1991, and both of our children were baptized there. The twin spires of the church have been a recognizable landmark in the Frogtown neighborhood for nearly 110 years. As the crow flies, it is closer to the State Capitol than the Cathedral is. The Polish immigrants who arrived in St. Paul around the turn of the 20th Century built the church, but they have long since moved on. These days, it is a parish that serves another immigrant community, the Vietnamese, who have been its primary parishioners for over 25 years.
St. Adalbert is at a crossroads. Its community is thriving, but the old church has seen better days and isn’t adequate to serve the needs of the community. The building would require millions to in repairs to ensure long-term viability for the building and there’s no way the congregation can do that. Frogtown has never been a glamorous address, but in recent years it has become an even more dangerous place than it once was, which complicates matters even more. The police blotter usually has numerous entries from the area just to the west of the parish, with drug deals, prostitution and murder often on the docket. And, while the church is where the community gathers to worship, many parishioners live elsewhere in town. While the Vietnamese are immigrants, some have been in Twin Cities for over 30 years and their children are moving away and finding a better life all over the metro area.
Given those challenges, it’s hardly surprising that the community is looking for a new home and recently the Archdiocese approached our sister parish, Corpus Christi in Roseville, about the possibility of providing a new home for the St. Adalbert congregation. Corpus Christi used to be in the St. Anthony Park neighborhood of St. Paul that houses the University of Minnesota, but the parish built a new church about a mile or two north in Roseville, moving there in the 1980s. Corpus Christi is a small congregation, but it has a modern church building and plenty of space to grow, in a prime location just to the south of the Rosedale Mall complex. It also has a well-deserved reputation as a welcoming community. It sounded like a good match.
It’s not going to happen, though. It can't really. The St. Adalbert community is larger than Corpus Christi and while the Corpus Christi church building is newer, it is far too small to accommodate everyone who would want to attend Mass. You simply can’t fit more than 400 people in the sanctuary at Corpus Christi, while a typical St. Adalbert gathering of Vietnamese parishioners would be almost double that number. For the parishioners at Corpus Christi, the proposal felt less like a merger and more like a takeover. That’s not how anyone intended it, but perceptions matter. We are all one Church, but we are also humans and we care about the temporal things, even though we know Jesus calls us to set those things aside.
We haven’t been back to St. Adalbert in many years. We’re going today, for 4:30 Mass. I am eager to see it again.
St. Adalbert is at a crossroads. Its community is thriving, but the old church has seen better days and isn’t adequate to serve the needs of the community. The building would require millions to in repairs to ensure long-term viability for the building and there’s no way the congregation can do that. Frogtown has never been a glamorous address, but in recent years it has become an even more dangerous place than it once was, which complicates matters even more. The police blotter usually has numerous entries from the area just to the west of the parish, with drug deals, prostitution and murder often on the docket. And, while the church is where the community gathers to worship, many parishioners live elsewhere in town. While the Vietnamese are immigrants, some have been in Twin Cities for over 30 years and their children are moving away and finding a better life all over the metro area.
Given those challenges, it’s hardly surprising that the community is looking for a new home and recently the Archdiocese approached our sister parish, Corpus Christi in Roseville, about the possibility of providing a new home for the St. Adalbert congregation. Corpus Christi used to be in the St. Anthony Park neighborhood of St. Paul that houses the University of Minnesota, but the parish built a new church about a mile or two north in Roseville, moving there in the 1980s. Corpus Christi is a small congregation, but it has a modern church building and plenty of space to grow, in a prime location just to the south of the Rosedale Mall complex. It also has a well-deserved reputation as a welcoming community. It sounded like a good match.
It’s not going to happen, though. It can't really. The St. Adalbert community is larger than Corpus Christi and while the Corpus Christi church building is newer, it is far too small to accommodate everyone who would want to attend Mass. You simply can’t fit more than 400 people in the sanctuary at Corpus Christi, while a typical St. Adalbert gathering of Vietnamese parishioners would be almost double that number. For the parishioners at Corpus Christi, the proposal felt less like a merger and more like a takeover. That’s not how anyone intended it, but perceptions matter. We are all one Church, but we are also humans and we care about the temporal things, even though we know Jesus calls us to set those things aside.
We haven’t been back to St. Adalbert in many years. We’re going today, for 4:30 Mass. I am eager to see it again.
Friday, September 20, 2019
Benster and D Pick Your Games--Khaki Man Cometh Edition
Old dude, Coach Dad is welcoming Coach Dad Jeans to Madison for a vital early season game.
Has anyone asked Juan Rincon about this matchup?
I tried, but he didn't want anyone to be in his pants. Way to dig deep for that one, old dude!
If it didn't happen at least 15 years ago, I probably don't know about it.
You don't know where your socks are.
Good point. But you wanted to pick games, right?
If you don't mind.
Okay. So Michigan is coming to Madison, then?
Yes. Boy, it is going to be something else. Also, it's going to be hot tomorrow in Madison. Almost as hot as the red-hot HYYYYYYPPPPE! I am about to unleash. Watch me work!
Michigan Hail to the Victors (+3) vs. Beloved Wisconsin Badgers. Both these teams were on bye last week, so they should be properly refreshed and prepared for battle. Everyone says Wisconsin hasn't played a real opponent yet, but they've still won and thrashed everyone in their path. This game will be very difficult. I think the Badgers have an advantage if they can impose their will early. Michigan is a better team than they showed against Army, but I like the Badgers in Madison. Badgers 24, Michigan 17.
I can't argue with your analysis. That's bad for business, but it's true. Jonathan Taylor is the key. They pound the ball and wear the Wolverine defense down. Wisconsin 28, Michigan 21.
Notre Dame Fighting Irish (+12.5) vs. Georgia Bulldogs. No Gophers? No problem! Let's remember the common thread between the Domers and the Gophers:
I wasn't born yet; heck, I don't think you and Mrs. D were even married yet, but I've heard about ol' Lou and how he broke the hearts of the Gophers. But that was then, and this is now. I don't like the Irish because they won't join a conference in football. Having said that, it's nice to see them having the guts to play between the hedges. Georgia likes to claim that they will finally beat Alabama. I can see that happening. But first they have to get by the Irish. Georgia 35, Notre Dame 0.
35-0 is more than "getting by," right? Well, that's semantics. Georgia is very good, but they are in a tough spot because they haven't figured out how to get over the mountain yet. The Irish might be pretty good this year, but this will be too tough a task. Georgia 31, Notre Dame 19.
Las Vegas Raiders of Oakland (+9) vs. Minnesota Vikings. Well, the Vikings are in an interesting spot. I was told last week that the Vikings would comfortably win at Lambeau. Many, many Vikings fans were certain of this. Well, that didn't happen. Now, the Vikings fans are back at home awaiting what they assume will be a ceremonial thumping of the nomad Raiders. Let's wind the clock back a year:
Huh. How about that? So do the Vikings have a chance to have another AFC doormat come in and lay waste? Nah, probably not. Vikings 50, Raiduhs 0.
I love a cautionary tale, too. The one good thing about this week is that Beloit College's own Derek Carrier will be in town for the Raiders. Look at him!
Will he make a triumphant return to the Midwest? Nope. But I hope he gets in. I hear Antonio Brown's reps are available. Vikings 28, Raiders 16.
Denver Broncos (+7) vs. Glorious Green Bay Packers. First, an inspirational message:
He could have saved billboard expenses by using his teeth. This game is going to be interesting. The Broncos are 0-2, but just got jobbed on their home field by da Bearz and several zebras. Vic Fangio has been a problem for the Packers over the years, and he won't be afraid to show some nasty stuff on defense. The Packers haven't played great, but they are doing a fine job of survive and advance so far. Another reason for alarm is this game is a Milwaukee ticket package game, so you might see a healthy swath of orange in the stands. But. . . . Packers 31, Broncos 10.
The Broncos aren't very good. I've seen them play twice this season and they haven't covered themselves in glory. The Packers have shown some very good signs, though, and Joe Flacco doesn't have much left in the tank. As long as Von Miller is held in check, Packers win easily. Packers 27, Broncos 13.
Bear Down Chicago Da Bearz Still Suck (-4) vs Washington Gridlocks. Da Bearz should be 0-2, but they got some help from the zebras, as I had discussed earlier. The Redskins are, well, this:
Stay with that video; at the 1:00 minute mark you see Case Keenum come out with an extinguisher. Very moving. Gridlocks 20, da Bearz Still Suck 0.
Mitch Trubisky's spirit animal is on the loose:
Do you know what the key is to an effective Bobby Douglass highlight film? Make sure it doesn't include footage of him throwing the ball. Certain Bears fans are feeling the same way about the current #10. Bears 17, Redskins 10.
And now, a word from our sponsor:
If the Vikings win, Kirk Cousins is taking everyone to Pizza Ranch! Ben out!
Has anyone asked Juan Rincon about this matchup?
I tried, but he didn't want anyone to be in his pants. Way to dig deep for that one, old dude!
If it didn't happen at least 15 years ago, I probably don't know about it.
You don't know where your socks are.
Good point. But you wanted to pick games, right?
If you don't mind.
Okay. So Michigan is coming to Madison, then?
Yes. Boy, it is going to be something else. Also, it's going to be hot tomorrow in Madison. Almost as hot as the red-hot HYYYYYYPPPPE! I am about to unleash. Watch me work!
Michigan Hail to the Victors (+3) vs. Beloved Wisconsin Badgers. Both these teams were on bye last week, so they should be properly refreshed and prepared for battle. Everyone says Wisconsin hasn't played a real opponent yet, but they've still won and thrashed everyone in their path. This game will be very difficult. I think the Badgers have an advantage if they can impose their will early. Michigan is a better team than they showed against Army, but I like the Badgers in Madison. Badgers 24, Michigan 17.
I can't argue with your analysis. That's bad for business, but it's true. Jonathan Taylor is the key. They pound the ball and wear the Wolverine defense down. Wisconsin 28, Michigan 21.
Notre Dame Fighting Irish (+12.5) vs. Georgia Bulldogs. No Gophers? No problem! Let's remember the common thread between the Domers and the Gophers:
 |
| And my assistant is John Gutekunsht |
35-0 is more than "getting by," right? Well, that's semantics. Georgia is very good, but they are in a tough spot because they haven't figured out how to get over the mountain yet. The Irish might be pretty good this year, but this will be too tough a task. Georgia 31, Notre Dame 19.
Las Vegas Raiders of Oakland (+9) vs. Minnesota Vikings. Well, the Vikings are in an interesting spot. I was told last week that the Vikings would comfortably win at Lambeau. Many, many Vikings fans were certain of this. Well, that didn't happen. Now, the Vikings fans are back at home awaiting what they assume will be a ceremonial thumping of the nomad Raiders. Let's wind the clock back a year:
Huh. How about that? So do the Vikings have a chance to have another AFC doormat come in and lay waste? Nah, probably not. Vikings 50, Raiduhs 0.
I love a cautionary tale, too. The one good thing about this week is that Beloit College's own Derek Carrier will be in town for the Raiders. Look at him!
 |
| Touchdown! |
Denver Broncos (+7) vs. Glorious Green Bay Packers. First, an inspirational message:
He could have saved billboard expenses by using his teeth. This game is going to be interesting. The Broncos are 0-2, but just got jobbed on their home field by da Bearz and several zebras. Vic Fangio has been a problem for the Packers over the years, and he won't be afraid to show some nasty stuff on defense. The Packers haven't played great, but they are doing a fine job of survive and advance so far. Another reason for alarm is this game is a Milwaukee ticket package game, so you might see a healthy swath of orange in the stands. But. . . . Packers 31, Broncos 10.
The Broncos aren't very good. I've seen them play twice this season and they haven't covered themselves in glory. The Packers have shown some very good signs, though, and Joe Flacco doesn't have much left in the tank. As long as Von Miller is held in check, Packers win easily. Packers 27, Broncos 13.
Bear Down Chicago Da Bearz Still Suck (-4) vs Washington Gridlocks. Da Bearz should be 0-2, but they got some help from the zebras, as I had discussed earlier. The Redskins are, well, this:
Stay with that video; at the 1:00 minute mark you see Case Keenum come out with an extinguisher. Very moving. Gridlocks 20, da Bearz Still Suck 0.
Mitch Trubisky's spirit animal is on the loose:
Do you know what the key is to an effective Bobby Douglass highlight film? Make sure it doesn't include footage of him throwing the ball. Certain Bears fans are feeling the same way about the current #10. Bears 17, Redskins 10.
And now, a word from our sponsor:
If the Vikings win, Kirk Cousins is taking everyone to Pizza Ranch! Ben out!
Separated at birth
Justin Trudeau in blackface:
As seen on the internet:
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| Same as it ever was, look where my hand was |
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| Jonny Quest explains the world, yet again |
Wednesday, September 18, 2019
If you hadn't been doing so already. . .
. . . you can, going forward, assume any political coverage in the New York Times is crap.
Friday, September 13, 2019
Benster and D Pick Your Games------St. Boni Edition
Old dude, we are going to be on assignment tomorrow afternoon, watching the most important college football game of the year.
What, you're bringing a portable television?
No, Geritol Fan. We're going to scenic St. Bonifacius, Minnesota, to watch your beloved Beloit Bucs play Clown College.
Clown College?
Oh, I'm sorry, I meant Crown College.
I heard about them:
Do you want to crown their asses?
No, I wanna row the boat. So we'll start there. Watch me work!
Georgia Southern Eagles (+16.5) vs. Minnesota Golden Elite Rowers of the Boat I think it's safe to say that the Gophers are lucky to be 2-0. They barely got by the Jackrabbits, and someone they pulled a Houdini act in Fresno. But give them their due, they won. Now, Georgia Southern comes calling. This game is a trap game and, quite honestly, one they should lose. Eagles 35, Gophers 14.
Thurston, you've been eating the brandied peaches without the peaches again, haven't you? Georgia Southern is the weakest opponent the Gophers have yet seen and the game is at home. I think the Gophers do much better than you think. Gophers 35, Eagles 14.
Beloit College Buccaneers (NL) vs. Crown College Storm This is going to be an interesting game. Both teams lost their opener, and neither were very good. Old dude's beloved Bucs have been, well, let's have Charles Barkley describe their performance:
But here's the thing. Crown College is also turrible. They were thrashed by perpetual MIAC footwipe St. Olaf last week, so they aren't exactly covering themselves in glory. In fact, I heard the MIAC wants to add Crown to replace St. Thomas, because that way everyone else gets a free W. Beloit 21, Crown 0.
Gee, I hope so. The Bucs have been a dumpster fire for a long time now and it's actually disheartening. Crown is a very small Christian school, with an enrollment of about 500. They may have to suit up some coeds to field a team. If my Bucs get beat tomorrow, they ought to fold it up and close Strong Stadium for good. Beloit 17, Crown 14.
Iowa Wesleyan Tigers (NL) vs. Knox College Prairie Fire Meanwhile, let's consider my alma mater, the beloved Prairie Fire. They are playing Iowa Wesleyan, which is also a very small college in Mount Pleasant, Iowa. It's usually not very pleasant in Mount Pleasant, especially on the football field. The Fire misfired last week against Eureka, but I have to believe that we can win at the storied Knosher Bowl. Alabama is too scared to come to the Knosher Bowl, by the way. Knox 10, Iowa Wesleyan 6.
You know what's a good thing for both Knox and Beloit? They still have Grinnell in the league. Knox should beat Iowa Wesleyan, though. Knox 24, Iowa Wesleyan 13.
Minnesota Vikings (+2.5) vs. Glorious Green Bay Packers So, let's get to some real football. Vikings fans were very happy last Sunday. Packers fans were happy a few days before that. Who will be happy this weekend? Well, this game could go either way. The Vikings will be better on offense than the Bears, who seem to share a playbook with Crown College. The Packers defense will provide more resistance than the Falcons defense, which seems to share a playbook with Iowa Wesleyan. I'm a delusional homer (you may have noticed) and that allows me to pick the Packers every time. This game won't be easy, but it is winnable. Packers 28, Vikings 24.
Hmm. I still need to see Aaron Rodgers be healthy. Until I do, the only thing that is healthy is my skepticism. I think the Vikings are the most talented team in the division overall, but the Packers are catching up. Have they closed the gap? Vikings 24, Packers 23.
Bear Down Chicago Da Bearz Still Suck (-2.5) vs. Denver Broncos So, da Bearz looked pretty poor against our glorious Packers last week. Were the Packers that good? Or is Mitchell Trubisky a steaming pile? All I know is Sid Luckman is not walking through that door. The Broncos also looked putrid last week against the dumpster fire Raiders, so that's good news for Bears fans. However, the game is in Denver, where the Broncos are a tough out. Weird things happen at that elevation. Bears 0, Broncos 0.
The Broncos are looking at quarterbacks again:
I bet he could throw that steak over the damned mountains. The Bears need this game. I think they get it. Bears 17, Broncos 10.
If that game ends in a scoreless tie, I am definitely buying Powerball next week. Ben out!
What, you're bringing a portable television?
No, Geritol Fan. We're going to scenic St. Bonifacius, Minnesota, to watch your beloved Beloit Bucs play Clown College.
Clown College?
Oh, I'm sorry, I meant Crown College.
I heard about them:
Do you want to crown their asses?
No, I wanna row the boat. So we'll start there. Watch me work!
Georgia Southern Eagles (+16.5) vs. Minnesota Golden Elite Rowers of the Boat I think it's safe to say that the Gophers are lucky to be 2-0. They barely got by the Jackrabbits, and someone they pulled a Houdini act in Fresno. But give them their due, they won. Now, Georgia Southern comes calling. This game is a trap game and, quite honestly, one they should lose. Eagles 35, Gophers 14.
Thurston, you've been eating the brandied peaches without the peaches again, haven't you? Georgia Southern is the weakest opponent the Gophers have yet seen and the game is at home. I think the Gophers do much better than you think. Gophers 35, Eagles 14.
Beloit College Buccaneers (NL) vs. Crown College Storm This is going to be an interesting game. Both teams lost their opener, and neither were very good. Old dude's beloved Bucs have been, well, let's have Charles Barkley describe their performance:
But here's the thing. Crown College is also turrible. They were thrashed by perpetual MIAC footwipe St. Olaf last week, so they aren't exactly covering themselves in glory. In fact, I heard the MIAC wants to add Crown to replace St. Thomas, because that way everyone else gets a free W. Beloit 21, Crown 0.
Gee, I hope so. The Bucs have been a dumpster fire for a long time now and it's actually disheartening. Crown is a very small Christian school, with an enrollment of about 500. They may have to suit up some coeds to field a team. If my Bucs get beat tomorrow, they ought to fold it up and close Strong Stadium for good. Beloit 17, Crown 14.
Iowa Wesleyan Tigers (NL) vs. Knox College Prairie Fire Meanwhile, let's consider my alma mater, the beloved Prairie Fire. They are playing Iowa Wesleyan, which is also a very small college in Mount Pleasant, Iowa. It's usually not very pleasant in Mount Pleasant, especially on the football field. The Fire misfired last week against Eureka, but I have to believe that we can win at the storied Knosher Bowl. Alabama is too scared to come to the Knosher Bowl, by the way. Knox 10, Iowa Wesleyan 6.
You know what's a good thing for both Knox and Beloit? They still have Grinnell in the league. Knox should beat Iowa Wesleyan, though. Knox 24, Iowa Wesleyan 13.
Minnesota Vikings (+2.5) vs. Glorious Green Bay Packers So, let's get to some real football. Vikings fans were very happy last Sunday. Packers fans were happy a few days before that. Who will be happy this weekend? Well, this game could go either way. The Vikings will be better on offense than the Bears, who seem to share a playbook with Crown College. The Packers defense will provide more resistance than the Falcons defense, which seems to share a playbook with Iowa Wesleyan. I'm a delusional homer (you may have noticed) and that allows me to pick the Packers every time. This game won't be easy, but it is winnable. Packers 28, Vikings 24.
Hmm. I still need to see Aaron Rodgers be healthy. Until I do, the only thing that is healthy is my skepticism. I think the Vikings are the most talented team in the division overall, but the Packers are catching up. Have they closed the gap? Vikings 24, Packers 23.
Bear Down Chicago Da Bearz Still Suck (-2.5) vs. Denver Broncos So, da Bearz looked pretty poor against our glorious Packers last week. Were the Packers that good? Or is Mitchell Trubisky a steaming pile? All I know is Sid Luckman is not walking through that door. The Broncos also looked putrid last week against the dumpster fire Raiders, so that's good news for Bears fans. However, the game is in Denver, where the Broncos are a tough out. Weird things happen at that elevation. Bears 0, Broncos 0.
The Broncos are looking at quarterbacks again:
I bet he could throw that steak over the damned mountains. The Bears need this game. I think they get it. Bears 17, Broncos 10.
If that game ends in a scoreless tie, I am definitely buying Powerball next week. Ben out!
Wednesday, September 11, 2019
91119
91101 was a beautiful day in which, to borrow from Yeats, a terrible beauty was born. I’ve written about 91101 more than once; how we prayed, how the powers that be at my office demanded in vain that we turn off the televisions and get back to work, how my then-kindergarten age son came bounding down the stairs to watch Scooby-Doo and saw something far, far worse.
We didn’t have social media then; the internet was around but Facebook and Instagram and Reddit weren’t even on the drawing board yet. There were bloggers, but even that phenomenon was in its infancy. I didn’t start this feature until four years after the events of 91101. I’m still blogging, but most people have long since abandoned the field.
Many believe the aftermath was a botch. I agree. Homeland Security is a vast, pointless bureaucracy more concerned with security theater than protecting anything other than its own prerogatives. We’re still fighting in Afghanistan, even though no one seems to know why. Iraq was a blunder that continues to haunt us. We have troops deployed over vast regions, defending people who despise us. And yet, as recently as last week, it appeared we were going to invite the Taliban, who gave bin Laden safe harbor, an opportunity to visit to Camp David. It's a change I cannot understand
91119 has been, at least in the Minneapolis area, a rainy, nasty day. We’re at a rainy, nasty time in our history. We've grown older and our priorities have changed. That's inevitable; a lot happens in 18 years. My kindergarten-age son is now a college graduate, while my toddler daughter is a college sophomore. People remember the moment, but it has become more of a historical moment than a shared experience. And the cynics and conspiracy theorists have taken the field. Social media makes it easy for people to peddle nonsense and outright lies (where’s the plane that hit the Pentagon?! What about WTC 7?). I’ve seen several screeds on social media today to that effect. It’s disheartening.
I don't pretend to have answers. The last 18 years have, in various ways, disabused me of many notions I had about how the world actually works. But the one thing I did that day still makes sense to me; and I will again pray for the families who suffered and continue to suffer, and for a greater understanding.
We didn’t have social media then; the internet was around but Facebook and Instagram and Reddit weren’t even on the drawing board yet. There were bloggers, but even that phenomenon was in its infancy. I didn’t start this feature until four years after the events of 91101. I’m still blogging, but most people have long since abandoned the field.
Many believe the aftermath was a botch. I agree. Homeland Security is a vast, pointless bureaucracy more concerned with security theater than protecting anything other than its own prerogatives. We’re still fighting in Afghanistan, even though no one seems to know why. Iraq was a blunder that continues to haunt us. We have troops deployed over vast regions, defending people who despise us. And yet, as recently as last week, it appeared we were going to invite the Taliban, who gave bin Laden safe harbor, an opportunity to visit to Camp David. It's a change I cannot understand
91119 has been, at least in the Minneapolis area, a rainy, nasty day. We’re at a rainy, nasty time in our history. We've grown older and our priorities have changed. That's inevitable; a lot happens in 18 years. My kindergarten-age son is now a college graduate, while my toddler daughter is a college sophomore. People remember the moment, but it has become more of a historical moment than a shared experience. And the cynics and conspiracy theorists have taken the field. Social media makes it easy for people to peddle nonsense and outright lies (where’s the plane that hit the Pentagon?! What about WTC 7?). I’ve seen several screeds on social media today to that effect. It’s disheartening.
I don't pretend to have answers. The last 18 years have, in various ways, disabused me of many notions I had about how the world actually works. But the one thing I did that day still makes sense to me; and I will again pray for the families who suffered and continue to suffer, and for a greater understanding.
Monday, September 09, 2019
The field, at the moment
Where I see 'em, right now.
Biden: He’s still the front-runner, but is generating no enthusiasm. He’s supposedly electable, but he’s never won an election outside of the state of Delaware -- being Obama's Veep doesn't count. Not seeing it.
Warren: Somehow, she’s not dead, but it’s likely she's gaining on the rest of the Dem field because no one is currently reminding anyone of her flaws, which are manifest. I don’t suppose Trump will be too reticent about mentioning those flaws.
Sanders: A hateful crank, but crankery is always a growth industry on the Left. Running on little more than bile, however, and it’s difficult to see how he’ll hold off Warren.
Harris: I thought she’d be a stronger candidate, but she’s got the Ted Kennedy problem of the Roger Mudd variant. She’s running but she doesn’t seem to know why. And she can't hide her nasty streak.
Buttigieg: The more he says, the more repellent he becomes. As sanctimonious as John Marty, but without the bow-tied fashion sense. Of course, he’s actually running for vice president.
Booker: A classic senatorial windbag. His greatest asset is his self-regard. Coincidentally, it’s his greatest liability. Also running for vice president.
O’Rourke: A complete moron. Married well, though. Every generation throws a Kerry up the pop charts.
Klobuchar: Her magic surname means nothing outside of Minnesota, but her mediocrity shines through. Perhaps she could move to Illinois, change her name to Kupcinet, and try again in 2024.
Castro: One-time HUD secretaries often run for president – Jack Kemp and Ben Carson did, too. He won’t get any farther than they did, though. And he's not nearly as serious as either of them were.
Williamson: I really think she means well. She’s a gust of helium, but a successful one because we live in an unserious world and she has had the wit to monetize her foolishness. Too nice to be president.
Yang: Giving away other people’s money is always a popular position, at least if its not your money being given away. But he’s going nowhere.
Gabbard: She’s the most serious candidate in the Dem field and her antiwar bona fides are undeniable. But her gloomy worldview is a mismatch for this moment and her surfer packaging doesn't square with her overall message.
I understand there are other candidates, too. Maybe you think they're worth discussing, but I can't see why.
Biden: He’s still the front-runner, but is generating no enthusiasm. He’s supposedly electable, but he’s never won an election outside of the state of Delaware -- being Obama's Veep doesn't count. Not seeing it.
Warren: Somehow, she’s not dead, but it’s likely she's gaining on the rest of the Dem field because no one is currently reminding anyone of her flaws, which are manifest. I don’t suppose Trump will be too reticent about mentioning those flaws.
Sanders: A hateful crank, but crankery is always a growth industry on the Left. Running on little more than bile, however, and it’s difficult to see how he’ll hold off Warren.
Harris: I thought she’d be a stronger candidate, but she’s got the Ted Kennedy problem of the Roger Mudd variant. She’s running but she doesn’t seem to know why. And she can't hide her nasty streak.
Buttigieg: The more he says, the more repellent he becomes. As sanctimonious as John Marty, but without the bow-tied fashion sense. Of course, he’s actually running for vice president.
Booker: A classic senatorial windbag. His greatest asset is his self-regard. Coincidentally, it’s his greatest liability. Also running for vice president.
O’Rourke: A complete moron. Married well, though. Every generation throws a Kerry up the pop charts.
Klobuchar: Her magic surname means nothing outside of Minnesota, but her mediocrity shines through. Perhaps she could move to Illinois, change her name to Kupcinet, and try again in 2024.
Castro: One-time HUD secretaries often run for president – Jack Kemp and Ben Carson did, too. He won’t get any farther than they did, though. And he's not nearly as serious as either of them were.
Williamson: I really think she means well. She’s a gust of helium, but a successful one because we live in an unserious world and she has had the wit to monetize her foolishness. Too nice to be president.
Yang: Giving away other people’s money is always a popular position, at least if its not your money being given away. But he’s going nowhere.
Gabbard: She’s the most serious candidate in the Dem field and her antiwar bona fides are undeniable. But her gloomy worldview is a mismatch for this moment and her surfer packaging doesn't square with her overall message.
I understand there are other candidates, too. Maybe you think they're worth discussing, but I can't see why.
Saturday, September 07, 2019
Civil Discourse
A social media message from an old college friend:
Back in the 1980s, the individual who posted this suggestion was a nice young woman from a small town about 40 miles from my hometown. As I remember her, she was a little awkward socially, but smart and attractive. She was on the periphery of my social circle and I didn't chat her up a lot, but I was always happy to see her around. Thirty-five years on, she'd prefer I were obliterated, but she is polite about it.
This sort of toxicity doesn't make me angry. It makes me sad.
 |
| Seems reasonable |
This sort of toxicity doesn't make me angry. It makes me sad.
Friday, September 06, 2019
Benster and D Pick Your Games -- I Told You So Edition
I told you the Packers were going to go down to Chicago and beat the Bears.
You did. And you were right. How about that?
You did. And you were right. How about that?
I don't just bring HYYYYYYPPPPPE! I also bring knowledge from a higher plain.
Columbia Heights?
Columbia Heights?
No, I shared it with Marianne Williamson.
Crystal blue persuasion, then.
Crystal blue persuasion, then.
I have no idea what you're talking about. As usual. You might want to adjust that Geritol dosage there, old dude. But although my wisdom is well demonstrated, we have more games to pick. Watch me work!
Minnesota Golden Elite Rowers of the Boat (-3) vs. Fresno State Bulldogs. The Gophers have paddled their boat out to an arid agricultural area, Fresno. This is the type of game the Gophers can lose. The crowd at Fresno is loud, obnoxious, and inebriated, and the Bulldogs are actually pretty good at football. Bulldogs 35, Row Row Row Your Boat Elitely 10.
The knock on Jeff Tedford is that his system is good for tricking people, but when the talent differential is sufficient, his bag of tricks doesn't work. Are the Gophers talented enough to avoid getting turned into a bag of pistachios? We're gonna find out. Gophers 24, Fresno 21.
The knock on Jeff Tedford is that his system is good for tricking people, but when the talent differential is sufficient, his bag of tricks doesn't work. Are the Gophers talented enough to avoid getting turned into a bag of pistachios? We're gonna find out. Gophers 24, Fresno 21.
Central Michigan Chippewas (+35) vs. Beloved Wisconsin Badgers. The Badgers looked like a machine against South Florida last week. The encouraging sign was Jonathan Taylor getting involved in the passing game. Two catches? Two touchdowns. Meanwhile, he rushed for his usual 100+ and two more touchdowns, and then he took most of the second half off. The Chips are historically a solid MAC team, but last year, not so much. I like the Badgers in this one, not surprisingly. Badgers 42, Chips 17.
Bucky was shockingly good against South Florida, a team that has been bowling in recent years. The thing that impressed me the most was the defense, which shut the Bulls down completely. The Bulls are more talented than the Chippewas, so this could get ugly. Badgers 50, Chippewas 0.
Bucky was shockingly good against South Florida, a team that has been bowling in recent years. The thing that impressed me the most was the defense, which shut the Bulls down completely. The Bulls are more talented than the Chippewas, so this could get ugly. Badgers 50, Chippewas 0.
Knox College Prairie Fire (NL) vs. Eureka College Red Devils. It's the fabled Lincoln Bowl game, in which my beloved Prairie Fire takes on Eureka, the alma mater of one Ronald Reagan. Unfortunately for the Red Devils, Ronald Reagan is not walking through that door. Of course, since he's been dead for 15 years, he hasn't been particularly ambulatory lately. Knox 21, Eureka 14.
I have no idea. I have no idea. Did I mention I have no idea? Eureka 21, Knox 14.
I have no idea. I have no idea. Did I mention I have no idea? Eureka 21, Knox 14.
Hotlanta Falcons (+4) vs. Minnesota Vikings. The Vikings come into this season with a lot of hope and question marks. One thing that confuses me to no end is why Gary Kubiak is not the offensive coordinator when Mike Zimmer wants to run Kubiak's offense? Is it because Zimmer needs to spend more time working with his beloved double A gap defensive system? Or is it that he wants to reserve the right to fire yet another offensive coordinator, with Kevin Stefanski in the always-molten chair. Regardless of what you think, this year will tell a lot about the Vikings. I think they can beat Atlanta, but I'm not certain that will happen. Falcons 27, Vikings 24.
The Vikings are hard to gauge. They will defend, as has been the pattern under Zimmer, but will they be able to score? Kirk Cousins is, well, enigmatic. But I think Good Kirk shows up this week. Vikings 31, Falcons 20.
It should be an interesting weekend. My recommend is to avoid going downtown on Sunday. The Vikings are in town. The Twins are in town. And I-94 is closed in St. Paul and I-494 is closed near the airport. If you're not coming to the games from Maple Grove, good luck with that. Ben out!
The Vikings are hard to gauge. They will defend, as has been the pattern under Zimmer, but will they be able to score? Kirk Cousins is, well, enigmatic. But I think Good Kirk shows up this week. Vikings 31, Falcons 20.
It should be an interesting weekend. My recommend is to avoid going downtown on Sunday. The Vikings are in town. The Twins are in town. And I-94 is closed in St. Paul and I-494 is closed near the airport. If you're not coming to the games from Maple Grove, good luck with that. Ben out!
Thursday, September 05, 2019
Here's blood in your eye
Not a good look:
He's leading in the polls, but I don't think he's going to make it. And frankly, I am worried about him. I don't want any Democrat to win in 2020, but I also don't want any Democrat to die on the hustings, either.
Former Vice President Joe Biden appeared to have a blood vessel burst in his left eye while participating in CNN's town hall on climate change.What did it look like? Kinda dire, actually:
A broken blood vessel in the eye, also known as a subconjuctival hemorrhage, can be caused by several things, including high blood pressure, bleeding disorders, blood thinners, or even excessive straining.
Biden, 76, has long been plagued by health issues. In 1988, he suffered an aneurysm that burst and required him to undergo emergency surgery. The then-senator was so close to death that a Catholic priest began preparing to administer the sacrament of last rites.
 |
| It's not supposed to look like that |
Wednesday, September 04, 2019
Benster and D Pick Your Games -- The Bears Still Suck Edition
Old dude, what better way for the season to start than by having the Bears take on the Packers?
Sing it with us!
They really really really really really really suck. It's one of the truths in the world.
In uncertain times, it's always good to hold fast to your core beliefs, young fella.
I'm feeling the HYYYYYYYYYPPPPPE! and excited for yet another season in which the people get to read my delusional rantings, er, I mean, reasoned analysis. Watch me work!
Glorious Green Bay Packers (+3) vs. Bear Down Chicago Da Bearz Still Suck. Gino would like to remind you that Bears NFC North Championship gear is still available at your local store, although at a slight discount these days. I would like to remind you that the Bears started last year by blowing a 20-0 lead to the Packers, and ended the year by hitting the upright against the Eagles. Kinda like this:
Oh my goodness, Cris Collinsworth delivers the eulogy! A double doink! Just remember that it was all Cody Parkey's fault. It wasn't the fault of the Bears offense, which certainly could have scored more than 15 points. Nor was it the fault of the defense, which gave up a late touchdown! Now, I can already hear the Bears fans saying, "hey, the Packers were 6-9-1 last season." That's true. But the Packers have improved. This game is going to be close. I like the Packers's chances. Packers 24, da Bearz 17.
I want to believe. But I also remember this:
Miraculously, Aaron Rodgers got up from that one and won the game. But the rest of the season was a slow-motion fade into oblivion. I do hope the Packers have figured out how to block the Bears, because the next time, Aaron might not get up. I think the Packers will be better this season. They might even be substantially better than last year. It would be difficult to be worse. But I see Tim Boyle on the sideline. And it makes me worry. This will be a tough one to win. Bears 21, Packers 14.
Oh, Old Dude of little faith! You need to stop watching this sort of thing:
1977 isn't walking through that door. It's 2019, baby! We'll be back on Friday with more picks! Ben out!
Sing it with us!
They really really really really really really suck. It's one of the truths in the world.
In uncertain times, it's always good to hold fast to your core beliefs, young fella.
I'm feeling the HYYYYYYYYYPPPPPE! and excited for yet another season in which the people get to read my delusional rantings, er, I mean, reasoned analysis. Watch me work!
Glorious Green Bay Packers (+3) vs. Bear Down Chicago Da Bearz Still Suck. Gino would like to remind you that Bears NFC North Championship gear is still available at your local store, although at a slight discount these days. I would like to remind you that the Bears started last year by blowing a 20-0 lead to the Packers, and ended the year by hitting the upright against the Eagles. Kinda like this:
Oh my goodness, Cris Collinsworth delivers the eulogy! A double doink! Just remember that it was all Cody Parkey's fault. It wasn't the fault of the Bears offense, which certainly could have scored more than 15 points. Nor was it the fault of the defense, which gave up a late touchdown! Now, I can already hear the Bears fans saying, "hey, the Packers were 6-9-1 last season." That's true. But the Packers have improved. This game is going to be close. I like the Packers's chances. Packers 24, da Bearz 17.
I want to believe. But I also remember this:
Miraculously, Aaron Rodgers got up from that one and won the game. But the rest of the season was a slow-motion fade into oblivion. I do hope the Packers have figured out how to block the Bears, because the next time, Aaron might not get up. I think the Packers will be better this season. They might even be substantially better than last year. It would be difficult to be worse. But I see Tim Boyle on the sideline. And it makes me worry. This will be a tough one to win. Bears 21, Packers 14.
Oh, Old Dude of little faith! You need to stop watching this sort of thing:
1977 isn't walking through that door. It's 2019, baby! We'll be back on Friday with more picks! Ben out!
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