Benster and D Pick Your Games--Khaki Man Cometh Edition

Old dude, Coach Dad is welcoming Coach Dad Jeans to Madison for a vital early season game.

Has anyone asked Juan Rincon about this matchup?

I tried, but he didn't want anyone to be in his pants. Way to dig deep for that one, old dude!

If it didn't happen at least 15 years ago, I probably don't know about it.

You don't know where your socks are.

Good point. But you wanted to pick games, right?

If you don't mind.

Okay. So Michigan is coming to Madison, then?

Yes. Boy, it is going to be something else. Also, it's going to be hot tomorrow in Madison. Almost as hot as the red-hot HYYYYYYPPPPE! I am about to unleash. Watch me work!

Michigan Hail to the Victors (+3) vs. Beloved Wisconsin Badgers. Both these teams were on bye last week, so they should be properly refreshed and prepared for battle. Everyone says Wisconsin hasn't played a real opponent yet, but they've still won and thrashed everyone in their path. This game will be very difficult. I think the Badgers have an advantage if they can impose their will early. Michigan is a better team than they showed against Army, but I like the Badgers in Madison. Badgers 24, Michigan 17.

I can't argue with your analysis. That's bad for business, but it's true. Jonathan Taylor is the key. They pound the ball and wear the Wolverine defense down. Wisconsin 28, Michigan 21.

Notre Dame Fighting Irish (+12.5) vs. Georgia Bulldogs. No Gophers? No problem! Let's remember the common thread between the Domers and the Gophers:

And my assistant is John Gutekunsht

I wasn't born yet; heck, I don't think you and Mrs. D were even married yet, but I've heard about ol' Lou and how he broke the hearts of the Gophers. But that was then, and this is now. I don't like the Irish because they won't join a conference in football. Having said that, it's nice to see them having the guts to play between the hedges. Georgia likes to claim that they will finally beat Alabama. I can see that happening. But first they have to get by the Irish. Georgia 35, Notre Dame 0.

35-0 is more than "getting by," right? Well, that's semantics. Georgia is very good, but they are in a tough spot because they haven't figured out how to get over the mountain yet. The Irish might be pretty good this year, but this will be too tough a task. Georgia 31, Notre Dame 19.

Las Vegas Raiders of Oakland (+9) vs. Minnesota Vikings. Well, the Vikings are in an interesting spot. I was told last week that the Vikings would comfortably win at Lambeau. Many, many Vikings fans were certain of this. Well, that didn't happen. Now, the Vikings fans are back at home awaiting what they assume will be a ceremonial thumping of the nomad Raiders. Let's wind the clock back a year:

Huh. How about that? So do the Vikings have a chance to have another AFC doormat come in and lay waste? Nah, probably not. Vikings 50, Raiduhs 0.

I love a cautionary tale, too. The one good thing about this week is that Beloit College's own Derek Carrier will be in town for the Raiders. Look at him!

Touchdown!

Will he make a triumphant return to the Midwest? Nope. But I hope he gets in. I hear Antonio Brown's reps are available. Vikings 28, Raiders 16.

Denver Broncos (+7) vs. Glorious Green Bay Packers. First, an inspirational message:

He could have saved billboard expenses by using his teeth. This game is going to be interesting. The Broncos are 0-2, but just got jobbed on their home field by da Bearz and several zebras. Vic Fangio has been a problem for the Packers over the years, and he won't be afraid to show some nasty stuff on defense. The Packers haven't played great, but they are doing a fine job of survive and advance so far. Another reason for alarm is this game is a Milwaukee ticket package game, so you might see a healthy swath of orange in the stands. But. . . . Packers 31, Broncos 10.

The Broncos aren't very good. I've seen them play twice this season and they haven't covered themselves in glory. The Packers have shown some very good signs, though, and Joe Flacco doesn't have much left in the tank. As long as Von Miller is held in check, Packers win easily. Packers 27, Broncos 13.

Bear Down Chicago Da Bearz Still Suck (-4) vs Washington Gridlocks. Da Bearz should be 0-2, but they got some help from the zebras, as I had discussed earlier. The Redskins are, well, this:

Stay with that video; at the 1:00 minute mark you see Case Keenum come out with an extinguisher. Very moving. Gridlocks 20, da Bearz Still Suck 0.

Mitch Trubisky's spirit animal is on the loose:

Do you know what the key is to an effective Bobby Douglass highlight film? Make sure it doesn't include footage of him throwing the ball. Certain Bears fans are feeling the same way about the current #10. Bears 17, Redskins 10.

And now, a word from our sponsor:

If the Vikings win, Kirk Cousins is taking everyone to Pizza Ranch! Ben out!