Saturday, April 25, 2009

I, For One, Appreciate Our Adversarial Fourth Estate

Sometimes we take it for granted, but the committed lions of the Fourth Estate are truly a bulwark for liberty. Their willingness to look at the day's events with a gimlet eye and their ability to coldly, rationally assess the leading figures of the day are essential to the continuing health of the commonweal.

Then there's CNN's Bill Schneider:

The first President Bush was criticized for being out of touch with ordinary Americans. Do people think Obama understands the problems of ordinary Americans? Yes -- 74 percent.

Jimmy Carter was not considered a strong leader. Ronald Reagan was. Does the public think Obama is a strong leader? Yes -- 76 percent.

Richard Nixon turned out not to be honest and trustworthy. Do people think Obama is honest and trustworthy? Yes -- 74 percent.

Is Obama the superpresident? So far, so good.
I've been able to get a copy of the original draft of the article that Schenider prepared for CNN's 100 Days extravaganza, which the CNN honchos had to spike because their fact checkers weren't able to independently verify claims 3 and 7:

Feature: Little known facts about our 44th president, Barack Obama.

By Bill Schneider
CNN Senior Political Analyst

Barack Obama's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Barack Obama counted to infinity - twice. He then used the numbers as a basis for his FY 2010 budget.

Barack Obama does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Barack Obama goes killing.

If you can see Barack Obama, he can see you. If you can't see Barack Obama you are truly an impoverished soul.

Barack Obama sold his soul to the devil for his beatific good looks and unparalleled ability to read a teleprompter. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Barack gave the devil a 25 DVD set of great American movies and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Barack Obama.

Barack Obama built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Barack Obama met all three bullets with a 1000 word speech repudiating the Monroe Doctrine, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Barack Obama has already been to Mars; he was stunned to learn it was a CIA rendition site.

They once made Barack Obama toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody. However, you can get Barack Obama jewelry at J. C. Penney.

A blind man once stepped on Barack Obama's shoe. Barack replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Barack Obama!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was the glowing visage of Barack Obama, which so inspired that blind man that he immediately went off to join AmeriCorps but was tragically killed when he was hit by an SUV.


Gino said...

i've hear that our fearless leader looked into Putin's eyes and posessed his soul.

Gino said...

...and that he can open beer bottles with his eye socket.
imported ones, that is.

i personally admire this one trait in him.

Anonymous said...

He can also divide by zero.