Benster and D Pick Your Games -- Conference Championship Edition, Baby!

I would like to apologize for the week that wasn't. I know that many of you were saddened when I didn't unleash the HYYYYYPPPPPE! But I had a legitimate reason.

What was that, pray tell?

I had to attend to personal bidness. But some of that is out of the way now -- in fact, it's mostly done, so now I can turn my attention and mad analytical skills to this week's games. Watch me work!

AFC Championship Game, in Denver. New England Patriots (+5.5) vs. Denver Broncos. Both teams have been very good all year. Wait a minute -- what's that....

OMAHA! 39-28! 36 IS THE MIKE! HURRY HURRY! OMAHA!

Okay, it's either the return of the guy claiming to be Johnny Manziel, or a Broncos game has broken out in the middle of this post. I'm sorry, but seriously, what the heck is Peyton Manning talking about, anyway! Omaha? Seriously? Why not Lincoln? Or North Platte? Or Scottsbluff? I heard that the Omaha Chamber of Commerce was thanking Manning for calling out their town in his gibberish. They haven't had this kind of publicity in Omaha since this guy:

The giraffe is the mike! Hurry hurry! Call me crazy, but I believe that Denver is beatable. I noticed last Saturday that the Patriots were able to run the ball successfully against Indy. You know who else was to able to run the ball against Denver? Baltimore. Do you remember how that turned out? Especially considering that Joe Flacco was able to run an offense with ball control, how do you suppose that Tom Brady will handle things? New England 31, Denver 27.

Man, you never know who's going to show up around here. I remember Marlin Perkins -- he used to send Jim Fowler out to wrestle alligators while he sat in the duck blind contemplating his navel. That was good stuff. As for the game, while I understand the young fella's rationale, I think Manning has a lot to prove. He's had to listen to people explaining how he can't win the big game, how he's fallen short, how he's more interested in his commercials than he is in hoisting the Lombardi trophy. The problem that Manning has had is that his teams have usually been a player or two short and he hasn't been able to make up the difference. This year, he has the players behind him. And he'll be in New Jersey in two weeks. Denver 35, New England 31.

NFC Championship Game, in Seattle. San Francisco 49ers (+3.5) vs. Seattle Seahawks. To be honest, if you are a regular reader of this feature, you have to know that both these teams are irritating to me. Irritating to me, to the old dude, to Packer fans everywhere and the vast majority of the population worldwide. On one side you have Jim Harbaugh, with his pleated khaki pants and his annoying personal mannerisms. On the other side, you have Pete "Too Cool for School" Carroll, who would sell his mother for a victory. The good news is that one of these bad actors is going to lose on Sunday. The bad news is that one of them gets to win. Thank goodness that Russell Wilson does not need a joke offense to win. Just ask the Big Ten. Seattle 28, San Francisco 9.

I can't disagree with Seabiscuit's portrayal of the two coaches, who are both annoying as hell. I do have a bit of a rooting interest in the game, because the Seahawks have Russell Wilson, while the 49ers feature backup tight end Derek Carrier, the pride of my alma mater, Beloit College. So while these teams are evil, they do feature non-evil performers. It doesn't help me to pick the game much, so here is how I see it. Colin Kaepernick is playing better than Russell Wilson right now, but he was about an inch away from a Micah Hyde interception two weeks ago that would have had him on the couch at this point. He's still prone to make mistakes and the Seahawks know how to get inside his head. Russell Wilson won't make any mistakes on Sunday. That's the difference. Seattle 24, San Francisco 20.

Here's a bright idea -- why doesn't the NFL institute a penalty box that's shaped like a UFC cage? Maybe you could put Harbaugh and Carroll in it and charge people about $140 a head to see them wail on each other. I would pay to see that. C'mon, Roger, you're missing out on a big payday on this one! Maybe Roger is the mike! What do you say, Peyton?

HURRY HURRY!

Ben out!